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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29370321">...And They Were Roommates</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeds92/pseuds/deeds92'>deeds92</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou-centric, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Smut, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Jealous Akaashi Keiji, Jealous Bokuto Koutarou, Minor Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou, Multi, Open Relationships, Original Character(s), Other, POV Akaashi Keiji, POV Bokuto Koutarou, POV Second Person, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Porn With Plot, Reader-Insert, Shameless Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 05:35:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>92,324</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29370321</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/deeds92/pseuds/deeds92</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You've had a crush on Akaashi since the two of you were in a class the previous semester and he introduced himself to you. One project, a study group, and a whole semester later, you find him as a TA in your Greek literature class. You thought you had just imagined him glancing at you every now and then. But when he approaches you, you're more than happy to see where this relationship can lead. Things take a turn when you learn about his arrangement with his roommate. </p><p>----</p><p>“What exactly are you having trouble with?” You weren’t sure how to explain it in a way that didn’t make you sound stupid, so you decided to take a different approach. </p><p>“Nothing,” you said letting out a sigh, “I thought you might have been flirting with me in class - which was probably a really stupid thought - so I wanted to come here to…” To what?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>120</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The First Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This story will follow Y/N mainly with some chapters in Bokuto/Akaashi's POV interspersed. I plan to add a new chapter every Friday.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You thought you were imagining it when the attractive TA would lean in close to help you with your assignments, but when Akaashi lightly placed his hand on your thigh, testing, crouching down next to your seat, you couldn’t help the blush that crept across your face. </p><p>“Do you understand now?” he asked with a polite smile on his face. It felt like he was no longer asking about Eurydice’s and Orpheus’ failed journey back from hell. His long lashes partially hid his beautiful blue - or were they green? - eyes as the question lingered in the air between the two of you. </p><p>“Um, yes,” you swallowed hard, mouth suddenly parched. You felt an urge to close the distance to see what his lips felt like, but that would be highly inappropriate in class. Not to mention the two of you had only interacted a few times prior. A group project and a study group in a previous class did not grant permission for you to act on your desires now. </p><p>“Good,” he responded, removing his hand, long fingers slowly tracing along the skin of your thigh until the heat was completely gone, replacing the feeling with a tingling sensation. “Feel free to see me after class during my office hours if you need any extra assistance.” </p><p>He stood and moved to another student, but kept a professional distance the entire time. He must have noticed you staring as he glanced back in your direction, forcing you to quickly turn back to your essay. Your thigh still tingled and you knew you wanted to feel his fingers again. </p><p>Your mind wandered for the rest of class as you thought about all the things Akaashi’s fingers could do. You lightly rubbed the side of your neck as you imagined his fingers lightly brushing the skin around your throat and then…</p><p>Your class ended and you dreaded the other two immediately after. But you knew that you would end up at Akaashi’s office hours, curious if the interaction from earlier actually meant anything. </p><p>Sure enough, you headed up the stairs into a wing that held multiple offices later that day. You realized you had never attended Akaashi’s office hours before. You were a relatively decent student and literature was a subject you did well in. But you wanted to see Akaashi again, you had a little crush on him since he introduced himself in a previous class last semester. Knowing there might be some mutual attraction, you wanted to see where this could lead. </p><p>You looked at the open office doors trying to find the office for the literature TAs until you arrived at the one located almost at the end of the wing. You stood shyly at the doorway as Akaashi was currently working with another student. The girl sitting at the desk across from him was attractive and sat a little too close for someone asking for help with Greek Mythology. Akaashi’s eyes were down on the paper explaining the material, but her eyes were on him. </p><p>You knocked timidly on the door, not wanting to disrupt someone who may actually need help - judging by her posture, she may have been there for the same reason you were - and waited for Akaashi to look up. He adjusted his glasses and a soft smile pulled across his face. </p><p>“Come in,” he said. “We were just wrapping up here.” The girl furrowed her brows and shot a look your way. You tried to dodge it, pretending you earnestly needed Akaashi’s attention. She packed up her belongings and mentioned returning during the next office hours, but Akaashi’s eyes seemed fixed on you. She strolled out in a huff. </p><p>You took the vacant seat across from Akaashi and pulled out your book in an attempt to pretend you actually needed his help. He looked over patiently as if he knew this was all a ruse, but was willing to play along. </p><p>“What did you need help with?” he asked, rapping his long fingers on the desk, his chin resting in his other hand, a small pleasant smile on his face. </p><p>“Um, the passage we were going over in class, could you go over that with me again? There were some parts I’m not sure I understood,” you lied. </p><p>“Of course,” he said standing from the desk. He walked over to the door and you felt yourself jump slightly when you heard the sound of the deadbolt click loudly. He leaned up against the desk and looked down at you smiling expectantly. </p><p>“Well, this section…” you tried to search for something, anything, “here,” you landed on something you had highlighted, so it must have been important. “I’m not sure I understand this section, really.” He read over the lines you had pointed out and then let out a little bit of a laugh. You looked down at the section and realized that there was absolutely nothing complicated about it and you were sure Akaashi either knew you were lying or thought you were an idiot. </p><p>Suppressing his laugh, “What <em> exactly </em> are you having trouble with?” You weren’t sure how to explain it in a way that didn’t make you sound stupid, so you decided to take a different approach. </p><p>“Nothing,” you said letting out a sigh, “I thought you might have been flirting with me in class - which was probably a really stupid thought - so I wanted to come here to…” To what? Flirt back? Ask about it? Pretend to not know anything about anything just to be in his presence?</p><p>You felt his finger brush across your temple as he pushed a piece of hair behind your ear, slowly lingering down the side of your jaw and grazing your neck before he folded his arms across his chest. Your panicked inner monologue stalled as you looked up to meet his eyes. He looked a bit amused as you struggled with your words. </p><p>“So…? Were you flirting with me?” you asked. </p><p>He laughed a little louder, the loudest you had ever heard, and turned his head briefly looking at nothing in particular. “It was <em>very </em>inappropriate for me to do that in class, but yes, I was flirting with you. I hope that’s alright.”</p><p>“You don’t have to apologize, I liked it,” you said quietly. He turned back to look at you. “I just wasn’t sure because you’re so…pretty.” </p><p>His eyes widened just a little at the compliment like it was both foreign and familiar at the same time. He crouched down next to your seat but remained eye level because of his height. You felt his hand on your knee, fingers gently rubbing the bottom of your thigh. The small bit of friction felt nice, you could feel parts of his skin through your tights and wondered what his hand would feel like grabbing your whole, bare thigh. </p><p>“Would you like to grab a drink Friday?” he asked, pulling your attention away from his hand. You now looked up into his eyes, the lashes perfectly framing those pools of sea green (blue?) - you made a mental note to ask him one day.</p><p>“Yes,” you whispered, staring into his eyes. “Yes,” you said more firmly, trying to bring yourself back to reality, “I would like that a lot.”</p><p>“Great, we can meet around eight? I can text you the details. Do you care if I pull your number from the roster?” </p><p>“No, that’s fine.” You wanted to say more, you wanted to close the distance and wrap yourself around him. He was so attractive, but this was the longest conversation the two of you had had. You needed to control yourself.</p><p>He moved his hand to rest on your wrist and rubbed the thumb along the top of your forearm. You didn’t think he was someone so touchy, but it seemed like he had maintained contact for the majority of your conversation. </p><p>He looked up at you, his eyes flickered down to your lips and then back to your eyes. You felt the electricity and if you didn’t want to kiss him before, you were aching to now. You leaned forward slowly, inviting him the rest of the way. You could feel his breath on your face and mentally braced for the moment of impact. </p><p>You jumped at the sound of knocks on the door. “Akaashi-san? Are you still holding office hours today? I was hoping you could look over my essay.” You sighed inwardly at the interruption but smiled at Akaashi in hopes the disappointment was not too apparent on your face. </p><p>He removed his hand and leaned against the desk once more. “Yes, give me one moment. I’m finishing up with another student.” Then he looked back at you. “Friday, then,” he said, picking up your book from his desk and handing it to you. You stood and placed your hand slightly over his to grab the book, letting it drift over his fingers as you pulled the book from him and placed it in your bag. </p><p>“Friday, I’ll wait for your text,” you replied, placing your bag over your shoulder. It was Wednesday now and you would not see Akaashi until class Friday morning, so you decided to try and be brave. You leaned forward and placed a kiss on the side of his jaw. Your confidence was short-lived because as you went to walk away, he grabbed your arm with one hand and took your face by the chin in his other, pulling you close to him. </p><p>“That was cute,” he said only about two centimeters from your face. He lifted your chin and pushed his lips to yours softly. The two of you stayed there for a few seconds, you wanted to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away with a slight tug on your bottom lip using his teeth. “I’ll see you in class.” </p><p>Your face felt red as you turned to leave, taking a moment to unlock the door as quietly as possible so the student outside the room wouldn’t get any ideas. Akaashi moved back behind the desk, looking as polite and proper as ever. When you opened the door, you were met with an annoyed look from the student waiting to see her TA. </p><p>“Remember to read those passages over again so you can introduce them into your essay more fluidly. I’ll expect an improvement by Friday,” Akaashi called from behind you. It took a moment to register that he was speaking to you, a facade to ensure the other student didn’t grow suspicious of your activities. </p><p>You turned around and he raised an eyebrow expecting you to play along. “Um, yes. I will look over those passages. Thank you, again. I look forward to Friday, Akaashi-senpai.” The look was subtle, but you swore you saw his eyes widen and a bit of a blush spread across his cheeks when you added the “senpai” to his name. You couldn’t wait for Friday’s class. </p>
<hr/><p>You turned the corner and headed into your classroom with a small smile on your face, excited to see Akaashi. When you entered the room, he was standing by the computer at the front of the class. He seemed focused and did not notice you come in, so you took your normal seat and waited for class to begin. </p><p>“Dr. Yamamoto will be out this morning, but she left me with instructions for review and would like you all to work on essay revisions. Your next paper is due on Wednesday by class, so please take this time to review the materials we have read through so far. If you need any assistance, please let me know.” </p><p>You pulled out your laptop and began reading through the pages you had already typed. You looked up briefly to see that students had already begun to bring their laptops and books up to the front for assistance with their work. You wanted to get closer to Akaashi but knew that you had plans later so being patient would most likely be the best option. </p><p>When you were feeling pretty confident about your work, you looked up again and noticed that Akaashi had his eyes on you from over the top of his glasses that had fallen toward the end of his nose. He flicked them back to the laptop presented in front of him, provided some feedback for the student who then returned to their seat, and then he looked back to you. </p><p>You decided this would be your opportunity to get a little closer to him, for just a few minutes. Picking up your laptop, you made your way to the front of the room. You opened your mouth to say hello to him when another student snuck her way in front of you and set her items down. </p><p>“Akaashi-san, can you help me, please?” she whined. You stood behind her patiently, waiting your turn, but felt annoyed at how close she managed to get to Akaashi. </p><p>“What are you having trouble with?” he asked emotionless, his eyes gracing up to you and back to her, he was annoyed too. </p><p>“I just feel like this part doesn’t make sense, I’m not sure how I’m going to write about materials I don’t understand.” She pouted and moved slightly closer. </p><p>“You’ve been assigned several prompts throughout the semester, have you done them? If so, you should understand this material,” Akaashi stated, matter-of-factly. He sounded pretty severe, making the girl recoil a little. She seemed determined, though. </p><p>“Oh, Akaashi-san. I did the prompts, but they just don’t make sense all the time. You know?” She moved her hand onto his arm and smiled up at him.</p><p>“I actually don’t know,” he responded, his voice dry, but his face pulled in a polite expression. It was kind of scary. “I don’t know why you would wait until you were working on an essay worth forty-five percent of your overall grade to confess that you were not understanding the materials or the prompts meant to help you. I would suggest you revisit them and spend some time this weekend working through <em> all </em> the tools provided to you.” </p><p>“Y-yes, Akaashi-san.” She turned away quickly and walked to her desk, mortified. You looked over at Akaashi who was still scowling slightly. When his eyes met yours, they softened.</p><p>“That was probably a little hard, huh?” </p><p>“I don’t think you’re wrong. It seems silly to wait and ask for help if you need it. But to be honest, I don’t think she really needed any help.” His brows pulled together, questioning. You set your laptop down on the desk to get a little closer. “She probably just wanted to get your attention in some way.”</p><p>“Why?” He was being honest. He didn’t see how attractive he was. You shook your head and smirked at him teasingly. “Did you need help with something?” he asked. </p><p>“Well, I think I’m almost done, actually. But I was hoping you would look it over before I continue. I don’t want to submit it next week with errors.” You moved around the other side of the desk so you were standing next to him. He bent down closer to the laptop resting one hand on his hip and used the other to scroll as he read. </p><p>After a few moments, he said, “Hm, take a look at this section.” You bent closer to the laptop to see what he was referring to. He then whispered, “Can I touch you?” You blushed and looked over at him, but he kept his gaze on the laptop. You took a look around the room, all the students appeared to be engrossed in their work and probably wouldn’t notice. But you also didn’t know <em>where </em>he intended to touch you. </p><p>“Uh… sure.” He moved the hand that was on his hip and placed it behind your thigh. You could feel the heat and slight friction as he grazed his fingertips in a fluid motion against your tights. He kept his hand in a relatively tame position - tame considering he had his hands on you at all during class in the front of the room - and did not travel too far up, even though you waited (wanted) for that moment for him to squeeze your backside, it never came. </p><p>He continued to read your essay as you pretended to wait patiently next to him. You scanned the room to make sure no one would see what he was doing, but your leg was shielded behind the desk which granted a bit of privacy. His hand stopped its movements but remained on your leg, you looked down at him. </p><p>“There are some moments that need a little revision in terms of sentence structure, but the content is very good overall. I have shorter office hours today because it’s Friday, but I might be able to squeeze in some time to reformat some of this with you.” He stood up straight, his hand trailing behind on your leg, floating up to your hip. “Good job,” he said, pulling his hand away. </p><p>You smiled and returned to your desk, missing his touch. You knew there was nothing more the two of you could do in class, but he did invite you to his office hours. <em> And </em>you also had plans to see him that night. You felt your phone vibrate on your desk and looked down at the message. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Unknown:</b>
</p><p>X Bar, 123 West Street. I’ll see you during my office hours? </p><p> </p><p>You looked up and noticed Akaashi tucking his phone in his back pocket and glancing at you over his glasses. You changed the contact in your phone and quickly typed a response. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Y/N:</b>
</p><p>I’ll be there :)</p>
<hr/><p>You turned through the hallway toward Akaashi’s office at the end of the wing, excited to see him. You felt a little silly knowing that you had just spent some time with him a few hours ago and had plans that night, but you liked being with him, even if it was just for a short time. You were also eager to feel the heat from his hands again. </p><p>As you got to the TA office, you frowned at the closed door. You walked up to the door and checked the list of office hours provided, confirming that Akaashi’s had started an hour ago and lasted for another hour. </p><p>As you turned to walk away, you heard some muffled sounds from behind the door and your heart sank. Who would be in there with him that he would need to close the door? When he had done that with you, it was because the two of you were flirting and he had his hands on you a little. Was he doing that with someone else? </p><p>You felt a pang of jealousy knowing that he may have been touching some other girl’s thigh, caressing her cheek, or pushing her hair behind her ear, the way he had to you. You thought about someone else feeling the tingle from his fingers as they softly ghosted across their skin. You were sad, jealous, and a little angry. </p><p>Of course, these emotions had no merit. You and Akaashi were not dating, you kissed once, you’ve only touched a handful of times. He never asked about exclusivity, and so it would be perfectly fine if he <em>was </em>in the office with another girl. </p><p>That still didn’t stop you from wanting to act a little petty. Standing tall, you turned back and raised a fist to the door about to knock as loudly as you could muster. As you brought your knuckle down, you were met with a different surface altogether - hard in its own way, but definitely not a door. </p><p>You looked up and were met with wide golden eyes. The man in front of you looked very amused, a huge smile on his face. Your mouth went slightly agape at his size: he was a little taller than Akaashi by maybe two centimeters or so, but he was big. Muscular. He had on track pants and a t-shirt that seemed to be begging for relief from his… everything. </p><p>You then noticed that your hand had landed right on his chest when you went to knock on the door. “Hello, there,” he smiled wider - if that were possible. You quickly pulled your hand away, mortified. </p><p>“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to disrupt. I had set up a meeting with Akaashi-san during class to review my essay and when I heard voices I…” You tried to look over to see if Akaashi was looking at you, but the man in front of you was so large. </p><p>“It’s okay, no worries!” He placed a hand on your shoulder and scooted you in toward the office. He had almost pushed you directly into Akaashi who must have stood from the desk to see who was at the door. His face and neck looked a little red, probably in secondhand embarrassment from you feeling up this large man’s chest. “Boy, you <em>are </em>cute. I’ll see you later, ‘Kashi!” he waved, and then he was off. </p><p>You didn’t recognize this man, you’re sure you would have remembered him if he was in any of your classes. Besides his muscular build, he seemed full of energy - at least what you could tell in the minute you spoke to him - and he had the most interesting white and black streaked hair that sat in spikes on the top of his head. His bag looked like it had an emblem on it, some sports logo - an athlete. Perhaps Akaashi was helping to tutor some of the athletes? You looked over to him as his eyes seemed to narrow on the man’s fading form. </p><p>“Come on in,” he said and gestured to the chair by the desk. He took his seat opposite you and then looked at you expectantly. “You essay?” he prompted. </p><p>“Oh right,” you said as you moved to pull out your laptop. He must have actually meant you would be doing work during his office hours. The door was still open, so he probably wouldn’t be touching you with those fingers.</p><p>You turned the laptop so that you both could read from it as he began to explain a few of the errors he found in your sentence structure and ways to make edits to earn a higher mark. You followed his fingers as he pointed to different sections of the essay or when they lifted his glasses so he could massage the bridge of his nose before setting them back onto his face. You <em>really </em>wanted to touch him, run your hands through his messy black waves, but the sounds of passersby reminded you of the open door. </p><p>“I think you’re looking good right now. I would look it over a few more times, but you should be fine to submit earlier than the deadline.” You smiled and nodded, packing up your laptop and standing. He walked with you to the door of the office. </p><p>“Should I dress a certain way tonight? I’ve never been to this place before.” </p><p>“Dress however you feel most comfortable. It’s nothing too fancy. But they do have dancing if you’re into that.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t have pictured you as a dancer,” you giggled. Akaashi seemed very put together and proper. The image of him dancing in a group of sweaty people didn’t seem realistic. </p><p>“I’m not, but if you’re interested, I could try my best,” he smiled. You lingered at the door and looked up at him. Glancing up and down the wing, it looked as if no one was around. Most professors had probably gone home for the weekend and the students didn’t care for office hours on a Friday afternoon. </p><p>You took your chance while the coast was clear; you gingerly pushed his glasses onto his head, pushing some of his hair back, and stood on your toes to kiss him. You felt him smile against your lips, and then his hand was on your waist, pulling you closer. You reached up and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself against his chest. He hummed in appreciation before moving both hands slowly down your hips and then placing one on your backside. </p><p>You gasped slightly as he squeezed your butt which allowed him entry into your mouth. His tongue felt warm against yours and you allowed him to explore your mouth. He tasted sweet, like vanilla, and now that you were so close, he smelled almost like the air after a rainstorm. You moved one of your hands through his hair, weaving through the dark tendrils and lightly tugging, earning a low hum that vibrated in your mouth. </p><p>He slowly pulled away, letting his tongue lightly swipe over your top lip and placing one small last peck. “I’ll see you tonight,” he said, his voice sounding a little huskier. You placed one more kiss on his cheek before leaving the office and heading to your apartment. </p>
<hr/><p>The bar was only about a fifteen minute walk from your apartment. As soon as you got home, you rummaged through your closet trying to think about what to wear before settling on a black and white plaid cami dress that was both very flattering and comfortable but also fit perfectly in the right places. You also decided on some black tights, thinking about the way Akaashi seemed to like the feel of the fabric and would graze his hand along your leg while wearing them. </p><p>You saw Akaashi standing outside looking as beautiful as ever. You walked up to him and placed a kiss on his cheek. You laughed as it looked as if you two were almost matching: he wore black jeans and a black button up, his sleeves rolled just below the elbow. You also noticed that he did not have his glasses on. </p><p>“Are you wearing contacts?” you asked, placing your hand in his. He intertwined your fingers, his long ones dwarfing yours. </p><p>“It’s easier than messing with my glasses all night, they tend to get dirty whenever I go out.” You both moved to stand in the line forming at the door. “Do you prefer my glasses?” he questioned playfully. </p><p>“Your glasses are very…” you mulled over the question for a moment, “...you. They frame your face and make you look very serious, but also very sexy,” you said making him chuckle a little. “But now I can see your pretty eyes. I guess there are benefits to both.” </p><p>Once inside the bar, Akaashi found a table in the back corner for the two of you. He left to get drinks and you watched the people dancing under the flashing lights. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a flash of white and black moving vigorously and realized it was the man from Akaashi’s office. He was dancing with a girl who looked like she could be easily crushed between his thighs, and she was doing her best to perform meiosis and become one being with him with how close she pressed her back to his chest. </p><p>For as goofy as he looked, he was a pretty good dancer; his rhythm was decent and, despite his silly moves thrown out now and then, he was able to move well with the much smaller body in front of him. </p><p>Your gaze was broken when Akaashi returned with your drinks and sat down next to you. “Did you want to dance?” he asked over the music. </p><p>“No, I’m fine just watching.” </p><p>“I don’t mind if you go out there and join them. I wouldn’t mind watching,” he said close to your ear. You took your drink and took a sip. </p><p>“I like being near you,” you said back into his ear, earning a small smile. He moved a little closer, taking his drink in one hand and placing the other on your thigh as the two of you began to talk over the music. </p><p>You got to know each other a bit more, even though there were moments the music seemed impossibly loud. You felt like you must have guessed correctly regarding Akaashi’s liking of your tights as he continuously rubbed his fingers back and forth on your thigh throughout the night, and occasionally pinched the fabric between his middle finger and thumb. You’d have to think about a way to use this information to your advantage at some point. </p><p>When Akaashi left to get another round of drinks, your eyes drifted over to the man on the dance floor. He was on to his third, maybe fourth, partner of the night, the others growing exhausted while he seemed to be a well of untapped energy. His current partner was shying away now as the current song drifted and the next one began. He thanked her and then she was gone. </p><p>He kept moving to the music, scouting for another victim when he locked onto yours and he smiled. He strode over to where you were sitting and sat down in Akaashi’s vacant seat. </p><p>“Hey there! Wanna dance?” You could see the sweat on his temples and his shirt looked slightly darker around the collar, but that was no indication of depletion of his energy level. </p><p>“I’m with someone, he just went to get us drinks. He should be back soon, though.” You tried to be polite, not wanting to hurt his feelings because he looked so excited when he noticed you. </p><p>“Ah, come on. ‘Kashi won’t mind. Just one dance,” he said holding his hand out. </p><p>“How did you know-” your question remained unanswered as he took your hand and pulled you onto the dance floor. You looked in the direction of the bar, but could not find Akaashi over the sea of people. </p><p>He whipped you around to face him and placed a hand on your hip and his knee between your legs as he began to move with the music. You moved along with him to not appear awkward just standing there. You placed your hand on his shoulder and blushed at how close he was to you. </p><p>His smile was blinding and he continued to move flawlessly to the rhythm of the music until he spun you around and pulled you back. You were now facing away from him; both of his hands rested on your waist and you could feel the heat of his chest against your back as you moved with him to the music. You moved your arm up behind you so that your hand was fisting through his hair behind you. It was a lot softer than you thought it would be and you could feel the sweat on his scalp. </p><p>You looked up to see him looking at you with a playful smile. When you turned away again, you saw Akaashi sitting at your table drinking from his glass and staring at you. He didn’t look upset, he looked more intrigued as if an idea was playing out in his mind. His eyes stayed locked on you as he chewed on his bottom lip for a moment. And then, for just a brief moment, it looked as though he glanced somewhere else. </p><p>The song ended and the man behind you pulled on your arm bringing you back to your table. When you got to Akaashi, he looked at you with an amused expression, but you weren’t so sure what was funny. </p><p>“Thanks for lending me your date, ‘Kashi,” said the man behind you holding your hand out for Akaashi to take. “She’s a great dancer!” </p><p>“It would appear so,” Akaashi said, taking your hand. You moved to sit in your chair, but he guided you onto his lap. “It looks like you two had a lot of fun out there.” He was looking at you, something hungry in his eyes. </p><p>“Yeah, we’ll have to do it again sometime. I’ll see you guys later.” He turned and rushed back onto the dance floor and quickly found a new partner. You turned your attention to Akaashi who had begun to rub circles on your knee with his thumb. Although he didn’t seem mad, you felt the need to explain yourself. </p><p>“He kind of just pulled me out there, I hope you don’t mind,” you said a little bashfully. </p><p>“I don’t think Bo would have taken no for an answer. It’s okay, I’m not upset.” </p><p>“I just didn’t want you to think I was ditching you for someone else. I’m happy right here spending time with you.” </p><p>“Oh yeah? Right here?” he gestured to his lap. You laughed and pushed his shoulder trying to hide your blush. He moved so that his mouth was right next to your ear. “You looked really good out there. I’d like to see it again sometime,” he said before planting a kiss under your jaw. You turned to meet his lips and fisted a hand into his hair. He tasted of beer and a faint hint of vanilla. </p><p>You’re not sure how long the two of you had been kissing when you needed to pull away for air, but you suddenly felt drained after losing contact. </p><p>“Are you ready to head out?” he asked. You nodded and shuffled from his lap into the chair next to him. “My roommate is going to take us home, he hasn’t had anything to drink tonight. I just need to wait for him to notice the text message.” You took a few sips from your drink while you waited for Akaashi to get the message on his phone. He then looked at you quickly as if some sort of realization came to mind. </p><p>“I can have my roommate drop you off at your place. I don’t want you to walk home, it’s probably a little chilly.” You didn’t really want to go back to your apartment. Your own roommate had her boyfriend over and the two were obnoxious and loud, especially in the morning. You were sure that she would pepper you with endless questions when all you wanted to do was drop into bed and sleep. </p><p>“I don’t mind staying at your place tonight… if you don’t mind, that is. I wouldn’t want to intrude.” </p><p>“No, that would be fine. I can lend you something to sleep in.” He looked down at his phone and read an incoming message. “He’s going to grab the car, we can head outside to meet him.” </p><p>You waited outside for Akaashi’s roommate and wished that you had brought a jacket with you. It was a bit warmer when you left, but now the air was starting to feel cool against your exposed skin. Akaashi moved behind you and draped himself over you to try to provide some warmth. </p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t bring a jacket,” he said rubbing your arms, providing some warmth from the friction. “Bokuto should be here any minute with the car.” </p><p>“Bokuto?” You thought back to the man you had just danced with not too long ago, the man from Akaashi’s office hours, the man Akaashi had referred to as, “Bo.” Was that Bokuto, Akaashi’s roommate. Did you dance with Akaashi’s roommate? In front of him? </p><p>Your suspicions were confirmed when a black car pulled in front of the two of you and the man with gold eyes and spiky black and white hair stepped out of the driver’s side. </p><p>“Hey hey hey, you guys. Sorry that took so long, I forgot which street I parked on,” he said rubbing the back of his neck apologetically. </p><p>Akaashi ushered you into the back seat of the car and closed the door as he made his way around to the other side. You rejoiced at the warmth of the vehicle and laughed to yourself thinking about how silly you were not realizing that Akaashi and Bokuto were friends and roommates. That explained why he felt comfortable dancing with you and why he had a nickname for Akaashi. </p><p>You looked over to the driver’s side of the vehicle realizing that Akaashi had not gotten in yet. When you saw the two men from the window, they were standing close to one another. Too close. Closer than typical friends/roommates tended to stand. Bokuto had one hand on Akaashi’s hip - the one furthest from you - and Akaashi seemed to be reciprocating the gesture with an added hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. </p><p>You couldn’t see their faces as both men were taller than the car, and when you began to lean forward to get a better view, they had stepped away from each other and went to enter the car. You moved back and pretended you didn’t see anything as Akaashi scooted close to you and wrapped an arm around your shoulder. He turned toward you and placed a kiss on your cheek. You moved to face him and gave him a few kisses back before leaning into the crux of his shoulder. When you looked up, your eyes met Bokuto’s in the rearview mirror briefly.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“...As long as you’re happy. Even if you and I are not together, I’ll always love you. I will always be your best friend. That’s it.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter focuses on Akaashi and Bokuto's relationship and features some explicit underage content, but it is not marked in the story overall because there will be very few chapters that have anything underage. If you do not want to read that, there will be an asterisk as a warning beforehand. Content begins at: He knew that Bokuto would say it... and ends at “Way to kill the mood, ‘Kashi.” </p><p>Context Notes: A single line denotes a change in day or scene, a double line will indicate a change in time (past or present). </p><p>The next update will be on February 26.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Ji: </b>
</p><p>I think I’m going to make a move today. </p><p> </p><p>Bokuto read the text message and felt a wave of nausea in his stomach. He should have been used to this by now, but there was always a little bit of a sting whenever Akaashi had taken interest in someone new. </p><p>They would begin the process all over again every time and sometimes it didn’t work out, leaving Akaashi upset and bitter for a few weeks. He would find someone that he liked and would slowly start to peel back the layers of his inner thoughts. They may be interested in trying out their “lifestyle,” as some called it, but eventually, they would start to get tired of it and pull away. </p><p>Akaashi always blamed himself, thinking he had done something wrong, pushed them too far, too fast, but he never once considered that maybe these people he had invited into their lives were just not interested in the type of relationship he needed. When they left, he would get upset and would fall to Bokuto for support. And of course, Bokuto was there to pick up the pieces. That's what you do for someone you love. </p><p>Bokuto’s phone buzzed again with a new notification. He did not answer the first one which left Akaashi a little worried about how Bokuto was feeling. Despite his cool demeanor, Akaashi felt more deeply than anyone he knew, it was something he loved about Akaashi. But it also meant he took everything personally, or at least most things.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ji:</b>
</p><p>Do you think it’s a bad idea? I could wait a little longer if you think I’m rushing into things. </p><p> </p><p>Bokuto sighed and typed out his response, knowing that if he didn’t answer, Akaashi would begin to overthink his silence as a sign that Bokuto was upset. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto: </b>
</p><p>Go ahead, you seem to really like her. </p><p> </p><p>He decided to keep it brief, not wanting to let on his uneasiness and have Akaashi worry even more. His phone buzzed in his pocket again with Akaashi’s response. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ji: </b>
</p><p>Okay, I’ll let you know how it goes. If she’s interested, you and I can talk about boundaries tonight. Sound good? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto: </b>
</p><p>Yup</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ji: </b>
</p><p>I love you, Ko. </p><p> </p><p>Bokuto looked down at the last message and sighed out deeply. He knew Akaashi needed this; he had so much love to give and although Bokuto swore he would always be there to receive and cherish it, Akaashi needed another outlet to share his love, to express himself. Bokuto always wondered if he preferred this kind of relationship because he didn’t have siblings growing up and his parents often left him on his own. </p><p><em> Someone’s sexual preference is not just linked to their childhood trauma</em>, he chastised himself internally. He looked back at the message and smiled. He would do anything for Akaashi, this was part of a promise he made a long time ago when he swore he would stay by the younger man’s side forever. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto: </b>
</p><p>I love you too. </p><p> </p><p>Bokuto shoved the phone into his pocket, picked up his bag, and made his way to class. He was going to be late if he didn’t move quickly. He had time to discuss details with Akaashi later that night <em>if </em>she was interested in him the way he was with her. But of course, she was, how couldn’t she be? Akaashi was smart, beautiful, funny, and perfect. </p><p>Bokuto realized he couldn’t remember the girl’s name, just that Akaashi had met her in class the prior semester and felt a small crush begin to bloom. When he noticed her in the class he was a TA for, he decided to test the waters a little bit with some intentional glances and lingering hands. She gravitated to him quickly which made Akaashi very excited. </p><p>Bokuto made it to class right before the instructor closed the door. They looked at him with a slight grimace and closed the door behind him. He would have time to think about this later and there was no reason to get upset or worried now. This would only last a few months, give or take, and then it would go back to him and Akaashi, just how he liked it. </p><hr/>
<hr/><p>The first time Akaashi revealed his interest in being with multiple partners was in high school. He and Bokuto had been dating for about six months when the second year brought up the idea of introducing someone into their relationship. He broached the subject after practice one day, about a month before going to training camp with several other teams. </p><p>The previous year, at the very same training camp, Akaashi had been introduced to the Vice-Captain of Nekoma and felt an attraction immediately. Bokuto hadn’t realized that Akaashi had taken a liking to his friend, but it made sense when he thought about Akaashi hanging out with Kenma, the Nekoma setter, and spending more time after practice to hang out with Bokuto and the tall middle blocker. He guessed it was to get a little closer to Kuroo and learn more about him. </p><p>When Akaashi mentioned it at first, Bokuto didn’t know how to respond. He felt a bit hurt that Akaashi was interested in Kuroo in a romantic sense. He couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that rang through him when Akaashi confessed his feelings. </p><p>“What did I do wrong, ‘Kashi? Do you want to break up? I can fix it, I promise,” Bokuto began to feel his throat burn and his eyes fill with tears just thinking about Akaashi breaking up with him. But Akaashi laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder and rubbed soothing circles with his thumb. </p><p>“Of course I don’t want to break up with you, Bokuto-san. I care about you so much. This is just something that I feel, I’m not really sure how to explain it. I love our connection - the things we talk about, our dates, being intimate with you,” Akaashi started. “I would also like to explore those things with Kuroo-san. He has a different viewpoint on things sometimes, and he has interests that align with mine at times. He and I have some common interests and I would like to explore a different connection with him if he’s open to it.” </p><p>Bokuto still didn’t fully understand. He felt like Akaashi would leave him once he got to know how smart and awesome Kuroo was. He wouldn’t be interested in Bokuto’s random facts or would feel more inclined to dump him after one of his dejected moods. </p><p>“Talk to me about how you’re feeling. This isn’t just for me, it would be for both of us. But it won’t work if I don’t know how you feel.” Akaashi moved closer, pulling Bokuto’s legs across his lap. Bokuto leaned in, placing his head on Akaashi’s shoulder. </p><p>“What if you decide that you don’t like me after being with Kuroo?” he asked softly. “He’s a lot smarter than me. And he’s taller. What if he has a bigger dick than me?”</p><p>Akaashi laughed softly. “This isn’t about comparing the two of you to decide who I want to be with. I want to be with both of you. I can send you some information to look over, please read it. I think it will help to understand what I’m feeling a little better.” </p><p>“What do you mean by ‘both of us’?” Bokuto asked. </p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“You said this would be something for the both of us. How?” </p><p>“Well, I’m sure there are times when you want to express yourself in a way that I don’t fully comprehend, right? Well, having another person would provide you a space for that. It’s not about having interesting sex or trying to escape from someone, it’s about developing a deeper, more meaningful relationship for all of us. And besides, think about being in a relationship with your two best friends.” </p><p>Bokuto thought about it for a moment. Before he met Akaashi, he did think Kuroo was pretty hot. The two had kissed once during their first year at training camp because Bokuto had been told by a girl at his school that he was a bad kisser and Kuroo indulged him in testing the hypothesis. He didn’t mind the kiss with Kuroo, but he didn’t feel anything but friendship with him. Maybe seeing where this led would stir something up. </p><p>“Okay, we can try. Only if he wants to, though.” </p><p>“Of course,” Akaashi laughed, “I wasn’t going to force him. Now come here.” Akaashi pulled Bokuto’s face to his and placed a kiss on his nose. Bokuto moved his lips to Akaashi’s and the two began to make out. Bokuto positioned himself above Akaashi, pinning him gently to the bed and placing kisses on his face and neck. </p><p>*** He hovered above Akaashi’s face for a moment, “I love you,” and then kissed him deeply. Akaashi parted his lips to allow Bokuto entry and the two began to explore each other’s mouths. It was only about a month into the relationship that Bokuto had told Akaashi he loved him, Akaashi was still unable to say it back. Bokuto didn't mind, but it was something that bothered Akaashi quite a bit. He knew that Bokuto would say it and then kiss him quickly to not leave any moments of awkward silence that Akaashi was unable to fill. </p><p>Bokuto could feel himself growing harder in his shorts and reached a hand down to Akaashi, he was hard too. Bokuto rubbed him a bit through his athletic shorts before Akaashi took his hand and stopped him. </p><p>“Let me get the door,” he breathed out. Akaashi stood from the bed and locked his bedroom door. His parents never really arrived home until later in the evening, but Akaashi never took the chance of someone walking in on the boys. </p><p>Bokuto stripped himself of his shorts and boxers and sat with his back against the wall. Akaashi joined him, discarding his shorts and underwear on his way back to the bed, and sat next to Bokuto. In the time they had been together, they had only performed oral on one another and masturbated together. Neither of them brought up the idea of going any further. </p><p>They watched each other as they pumped themselves and chased orgasms. Bokuto liked to look at the way Akaashi would almost close his eyes completely, but a small sliver of blue would peek out to watch as Bokuto touched himself. He liked to watch Akaashi’s tame movements, how he focused mostly on fluid strokes and would occasionally grace over the tip of his cock with his thumb for more pleasure. Bokuto would touch himself everywhere - jerking himself wildly while massaging his balls or pinching his nipples was his go to. </p><p>Akaashi’s breathing picked up and his eyes closed completely meaning he was close. Bokuto watched as his pace quickened and his mouth opened just a little wider until he came over the top of his hand. </p><p>“You’re so beautiful,” Bokuto whispered. </p><p>Akaashi moved between Bokuto’s legs, kissing him deeply as Bokuto continued to stroke himself. Akaashi reached down and began to circle Bokuto’s hole with his middle finger, earning a moan. Using his cum as lubricant, Akaashi pushed his finger inside slowly. </p><p>“Fuck,” Bokuto hissed out. </p><p>“Does it hurt?” Akaashi asked and paused. </p><p>“A little, but it mostly just feels good. Keep going.” Akaashi continued and when he reached the base of the finger, he began to curl it inside and skim across the walls, searching for a certain spot. </p><p>“Put… in...ahh… another,” Bokuto managed between breathy moans. Akaashi obliged and wiggled in his pointer finger to join and continued with the stroking motions under he found what he was looking for. </p><p>Bokuto lurched forward and grabbed onto Akaashi’s shoulder with his free hand, his body shuddering at his prostate being stimulated. </p><p>“Are you okay?” </p><p>“More.” Akaashi continued to stroke the sensitive area, causing Bokuto to shake and grind his hips against Akaashi’s hand. He then let out a loud moan and came over the top of his hand while squeezing Akaashi’s shoulder. “Fuck,” he said, shakily. </p><p>Akaashi pulled his fingers out slowly and kissed Bokuto. The two stayed for a moment before Akaashi got up from the bed and walked into his bathroom, returning later with a warm washcloth to clean off Bokuto. </p><p>He whined when Akaashi touched him, “Be careful, it’s still sensitive.” Akaashi laughed and kissed him again before moving to pull his shorts back on and open a window to clear out the room. </p><p>“We have some homework to do, I can make us some food in a little while.”</p><p>“Way to kill the mood, ‘Kashi.” </p><hr/><p>“You wanna have a threesome?” Kuroo asked a little too loudly for the small cafe they were currently sitting in. He didn’t look disgusted or completely surprised, more curious than anything. </p><p>“Um, not exactly…” Bokuto began but wasn’t sure how to continue with the conversation. He had read through the material Akaashi sent him and sat down to write a list of non-negotiables but wasn’t able to think of anything important enough to include. He loved Akaashi and if this was what Akaashi needed, he was going to try his best. </p><p>“We’re inviting you to be a part of our relationship, Kuroo-san. It’s not explicitly about sex.” </p><p>“Hm,” he seemed to be mulling it over. “So, just to clarify, the three of us would be dating? Like, I would be dating both you and Bokuto, and Bokuto would be dating you and me, and you would be dating me and Bokuto?”</p><p>“Yes, if this is something you’re interested in, we could work out the specifics at another point. We wanted to ask you about it first and give you some time to think. I can send you some stuff to read, ideas for any ground rules you may be interested in including.”</p><p>“Ground rules?”</p><p>“Yes, we would want to make sure that everyone involved was comfortable with anything going on: dates, intimacy, anything.” </p><p>“Okay… Bo, you’ve been awfully quiet, what are you thinking about?” Both Kuroo and Akaashi turned their attention to Bokuto who hadn’t said much during their conversation and was uncharacteristically still. </p><p>“Um… well,” Bokuto struggled for the words, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “I was kind of anxious about it at first when ‘Kashi brought it up. But after reading the stuff he sent me and talking about it a little more, I’m willing to try it. It’s something that he wants… needs. And I love him.” </p><p>Akaashi’s face turned a little red with blush and Kuroo kept his eyes fixed on Bokuto, a little skeptical about this arrangement. He knew how much Bokuto loved Akaashi and that he would be willing to do anything for the younger boy, but he didn’t want to see his friend hurt. </p><p>“To be clear, Kuroo-san,” Akaashi started, keeping his eyes fixed on his mug of tea in front of him, “Mine and Koutarou’s relationship comes first.” Bokuto looked up at Akaashi who met his gaze and smiled. “If he is no longer comfortable with something, we will end it. I don’t want you to think I am forcing him into anything.” </p><p>“Of course not. One more question, then.” Kuroo paused, holding both boys’ attention on him, waiting for him to resume. “Why me?” </p><p>“Well, there are a few reasons,” Akaashi stated. “You’re smart, attractive, and charismatic. You and I connect on a level different than how I connect with Bokuto. But you and Bokuto are also very good friends. Relationships like these need to be built on communication and mutual trust. It would probably be easier to try something like this with someone Bokuto is very comfortable with. The two of you connect in a way that I will not understand. Everyone will have something to gain, but if there is ever a point where someone is no longer interested, we end it.”</p><p>“You think I’m attractive,” Kuroo smirked at Akaashi. </p><p>“That’s all you got from that, huh?” </p><p>“You’re totally hot, dude!” Bokuto chimed in. “You’re tall and have some nice pecs. I know you’ve been lifting a little more, right?”</p><p>“You’ve noticed? Thanks, man! Don’t think I haven’t noticed that ass, though. Are you upping your reps on your squats?”</p><p>“My ass?”</p><p>Akaashi slipped back a little into the booth and let the two continue their banter as he watched silently. He was interested in how this relationship would work out. <em> If </em>it would work out. He was happy that Bokuto seemed a little more at ease with the idea of bringing someone in, and asking Kuroo seemed like the best choice. </p><p>The boys had finished their meals and headed out of the cafe. Kuroo agreed to have his decision before they left for training camp in about two weeks. He would look over anything Akaashi sent over and, if he agreed, would have a list of non-negotiables for his comfortability in the relationship. </p><p>Bokuto and Akaashi walked back to Bokuto’s house - his parents would be out of town for the weekend and the two had the place to themselves. Bokuto took Akaashi’s hand and stopped for a moment, looking down at his feet. </p><p>“Is everything alright, Bokuto-san?” Akaashi asked. </p><p>“I sat down to work on a list of things, um, rules. Ya know, for me.” Akaashi turned fully toward Bokuto patiently, seeing if he would continue. When he said nothing more, Akaashi prompted him to continue. </p><p>“Did you come up with something?”</p><p>“Not really, I couldn’t think of anything really important. But… I just thought of one thing.” </p><p>“Okay, I would love for you to share it with me if you’re ready to.” </p><p>Bokuto bit his bottom lip and stood still for a while, Akaashi waiting, not wanting to force it out of him. After a few minutes, Bokuto spoke, “I know this whole thing isn’t about sex,” he started, “but before it gets to that part, you know, with the three of us-”</p><p>“Kuroo-san hasn’t agreed yet.”</p><p>“But he will. Why wouldn’t he? You’re perfect. You’re so smart and beautiful and pretty and amazing…”</p><p>“Thank you,” Akaashi replied, not trying to argue about how he thought <em> Bokuto </em>was the perfect one. “I apologize for cutting you off. Continue, please.” </p><p>“Well, before it gets to that, I want my first time to be with you. Just you. Just us. Is that okay?” Akaashi reached out a hand to rest on Bokuto’s cheek, urging him to meet his eyes. He rubbed his thumb along Bokuto’s cheekbone and smiled. </p><p>“Yes. I would like that too.” </p><hr/><p>Kuroo responded about a week later, he was in. He let Bokuto and Akaashi know that he would work on a list to bring to the training camp so the three of them could discuss specifics then. Akaashi was excited, Bokuto was still a little apprehensive.</p><p>He worked on his own list, thinking about what he wanted out of the relationship, but the most he could think about was making Akaashi happy. He knew that if that was all he brought to Akaashi, Akaashi would be upset and would start to second guess the arrangement. As he sat down to work on the list, which began to look a bit messy from all the lines he started and then crossed out, he received a message from Akaashi. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>‘Kashi:</b>
</p><p>Would you be available tomorrow to go over our lists? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto: </b>
</p><p>I thought we were going over them at the training camp. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>‘Kashi:</b>
</p><p>I want to go over the rules between just the two of us. I’ve already talked to Kuroo-san about it and he thinks it’s a good idea too. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto: </b>
</p><p>Sure, okay. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>‘Kashi: </b>
</p><p>Come over for dinner tomorrow? </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto: </b>
</p><p>Yeah, sounds good. </p><p> </p><p>Bokuto looked at the piece of paper in front of him, crumpled it up, and tossed it over his shoulder. He pulled out a fresh sheet of paper and thought about what he wanted out from Akaashi, just Akaashi. </p><p>Bokuto met Akaashi for dinner the next day at his house. Akaashi’s parents were out of town again, his dad on a business trip and his mom accompanying him. Bokuto, for the first time, became a little nervous at how empty the house was. He would have to openly speak about his feelings with Akaashi. He would also have to hear what rules Akaashi had in mind. </p><p>After dinner, Akaashi got right to business, leading Bokuto to his room and pulling out a notebook from his desk. Bokuto sat on Akaashi’s bed and fumbled with the folded piece of paper he pulled from his pocket. He looked over at Akaashi who also seemed a little nervous about sharing his rules, but he knew that Akaashi was never great at verbalizing his true feelings. </p><p>“Do you want me to go first?” Bokuto asked quietly. </p><p>“No, I can go. I only have a few, for just us, I mean…” He looked down at his notebook and bit his lip. Bokuto could sense this was not easy for Akaashi, so he stood from the bed, walked over to where Akaashi was sitting, and sat on the floor next to him, holding his hand. Akaashi looked at Bokuto, took a deep breath, and continued. “One: I want us to go to Naguru Ramen every year on our anniversary.”</p><p>Bokuto chuckled a little. “Sure, but why?”</p><p>“It’s where we went on our first date as a couple, I want to have something for just the two of us to share in.” </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p>“Two: if you and Kuroo go on a date and are intimate, I don’t think I want to hear about the details. I don’t mind you telling me about your date, just not the two of you…” </p><p>“Same, that’s fine with me.” </p><p>“Lastly: I want you to call me Keiji when we’re alone.” Bokuto was taken aback a little. Akaashi was always so proper and rarely used first names with anyone. He rarely called Bokuto by his first name and was usually adamant about the honorifics. He smiled and kissed Akaashi’s hand. </p><p>“I can do that, Keiji,” he said and kissed Akaashi’s hand again. “I guess it’s my turn. I don’t have much, though.”</p><p>“That’s fine. It’s about what you want, it doesn’t have to be long.”</p><p> </p><p>Bokuto nodded, “I want you to be happy. I want you to feel like you can be honest with me and with yourself. If you’re ever unhappy being with me, I want you to tell me.”</p><p>“Bok-”</p><p>“Let me finish. I know you’re not always the best at communicating your feelings and I really hope that this arrangement and type of relationship will help you with that. But if you decide that I’m not the person you want to do this with, I’m okay with that. As long as you’re happy. Even if you and I are not together, I’ll always love you. I will always be your best friend. That’s it.”</p><p>“Thank you, that’s very sweet,” Akaashi said after a moment of silence. “Is there anything else you would want?”</p><p>“Don’t call Kuroo by his first name, I want that to be just an ‘us thing,’” Bokuto responded beaming at Akaashi. </p><p>“I can do that,” Akaashi laughed.</p><hr/><p>The training camp came only a few weeks later. Bokuto was excited to see some of the other teams that were from prefectures further away, he was always excited to spend more time playing volleyball, and he was glad to not have to worry about classes for a week. He was nervous, however, for his and Akaashi’s discussion with Kuroo about their new relationship. </p><p>Despite Kuroo saying he was interested in joining their relationship, the three had not spent any time together since discussing it the first time. Akaashi and Bokuto sat down and came up with a few non-negotiables - or what Akaashi liked to call, “boundaries” - that they wanted to propose to Kuroo and they wanted to see what he would </p><p>After their extra practice, the three boys headed to Bokuto and Akaashi’s shared room to begin discussions. Kuroo lounged on Bokuto’s bed while Akaashi and Bokuto sat close, Bokuto’s arm around Akaashi’s waist, on the other bed. Kuroo pulled out his phone and opened his notes. </p><p>“So, where should we start?” he asked looking up at the other two. They both returned his look with blank expressions, unsure of how to proceed. “Someone is going to have to start us off. What did you say last time about open communication and what not?” </p><p>“Right,” Akaashi replied grabbing a notebook from the nightstand. “Bo and I have some things that we would like to suggest and see how you feel.”</p><p>“Lay it on me.”</p><p>“Well, we are both open to going on dates and being intimate with you individually, but we don’t really want to know the details of physical intimacy unless all three of us are involved,” Akaashi stated a little timidly. </p><p>“Sounds good, I’m not sure I want to know about your sex life either unless I’m involved. What else?”</p><p>“Um, well, we would prefer if you try not to use our first names, if possible. We’d like to keep that between us.” </p><p>“Sure, not a problem with me.”</p><p>“Okay, if anyone wants to try something new, it has to be fine with everyone involved.” </p><p>“Consent. Got it.” </p><p>“And if anyone begins to feel uncomfortable about any of this, we need to talk about it. We either figure it out together or decide to end it. And <em>if </em>someone wants out, that’s fine. No ill will or bad feelings. Does that all sound fine to you, Kuroo-san?” Akaashi and Bokuto waited for Kuroo to answer. </p><p>“Yeah, that all sounds fine. My turn?” They nodded for him to continue. “I want a <em> concrete </em>date schedule.” They both looked at Kuroo with a hint of confusion. “You guys have been dating for like, what, seven months now? And you’ve known each other for over a year. You have school, and then practice, and then probably do homework together each night while making out. I want to make sure that I’m as equal as possible in this relationship.” He paused for a moment, looking very serious. He ran his hand through his hair and got a little quiet. </p><p>“Hey man, you’ll definitely be equ-” Bokuto began. </p><p>“But I won’t be,” Kuroo started, “and that’s okay. I know that I’m being brought into this. If anyone would leave, it would probably be me. But, while we are a couple - throuple? - I want to make sure I spend time with both of you individually and together. An actual relationship, not just me as a third wheel to <em> your </em>relationship.” </p><p>Bokuto and Akaashi sat quietly for a moment. They didn’t want Kuroo to feel like an outsider in this relationship, but he brought up some very valid points. Kuroo was looking down, he had a bit of an embarrassed look on his face. He hoped he didn’t just screw this up, he didn’t want to lose his two friends. </p><p>Akaashi stood from the bed and took a seat next to Kuroo. “Thank you for sharing that with us. We don’t want you to feel like you’re the third wheel. You’re a part of this relationship now, an equal part. We are going to have to make some adjustments to our routines to make sure you’re included.” </p><p>“Thanks, that’s all I want. I can do the rest of the stuff. Just make sure to include me.”</p><p>“Of course, dude, Bokuto chimed in. “We’re all boyfriends now.” The three boys laughed, the situation still a little weird to them. “So what should we do now? We still have like, an hour until our coaches call for lights out.” </p><p>“Is it okay if I do something?” Kuroo asked. Bokuto and Akaashi both looked at him questioningly. “Can I kiss you, Akaashi? I’ve already kissed Bo, a while ago - hopefully, he’s gotten better - but I feel like I need to get to know you better, and catch up.”</p><p>Akaashi looked over to Bokuto to gauge his reaction, but he looked a little more intrigued than nervous or jealous. “Sure, yeah,” Akaashi replied, turning toward Kuroo. He scooted a little closer and waited for Kuroo to make the move. </p><p>He placed his hand on the side of Akaashi’s face, his fingers thinner than Bokuto’s, but just as calloused. He pulled Akaashi’s face to look at his, tracing his thumb along Akaashi’s bottom lip, and then moved in slowly for the kiss.</p><p>It took a moment for Akaashi and Kuroo to adjust to one another, their noses and teeth hitting at first. But it was like adjusting to a new spiker; Akaashi was used to Bokuto’s needs and the way he moved, kissed, and touched. But he would have to figure out Kuroo’s needs now. He liked the idea of a new challenge. </p><p>Bokuto looked on as Akaashi and Kuroo kissed one another, awkward at first, but then the two of them finding a rhythm. This was something Bokuto was nervous about before, but now that he saw it in front of him, he was extremely turned on. He licked his lips and stared at his two boyfriends in front of him. Kuroo moved his hand from Akaashi’s face to his waist and pulled him even closer. Bokuto watched as Akaashi parted his lips and allowed Kuroo’s tongue entry, he felt his breath quicken. </p><p>Kuroo pulled away and looked over to Bokuto. “Enjoying the view?” he asked sardonically. “Why don’t you come over here and join us?” Bokuto looked at Akaashi whose face seemed a little flushed from the kiss and then moved to the other bed. Kuroo pulled him in for a deep kiss, it was Akaashi’s turn to watch. The two moved at a quicker pace, making Akaashi think that their kiss from their first year may have been more of a makeout session. </p><p>Kuroo pulled Akaashi in so the three messily kissed one another, a mixture of tongues, lips, and teeth. They spent the rest of the night kissing and touching, exploring each other until they knew Kuroo’s coach would be looking for him. They decided to wait to go any further. Bokuto and Akaashi had still not crossed the line fully, and they wanted to make sure everyone was feeling good about their relationship <em>after </em>the bliss wore off. </p><p>Akaashi snuggled up to Bokuto that night, abandoning his bed and opting for the warm arms of his boyfriend. They lay wrapped in each other and Akaashi thought about what he wanted to do on his date with Kuroo. It was decided they would go on the first date since Kuroo and Bokuto already had a good relationship with one another. Akaashi fell asleep hopeful for the possibilities of this chapter in their relationship. </p><hr/>
<hr/><p>Akaashi returned from his office hours to find Bokuto lying on the sofa, one arm resting behind his head and twirling a piece of hair aimlessly with his other hand. Akaashi removed his shoes, placed his bag by the counter, and walked over to the couch. He leaned over the arm where Bokuto’s head was resting and placed a kiss on his nose. </p><p>Bokuto sat up briefly and pulled Akaashi onto him to his chest. They laid like that for a few moments, lazily kissing necks, hands, arms, and any other exposed skin, before Akaashi laid his head down on Bokuto’s chest and closed his eyes. “How was practice?” he asked, his voice vibrating Bokuto’s sternum. </p><p>“Fine, the same old, same old. You know, Coach riding our asses because of the big game coming up in a few weeks. He wants to make sure we “anticipate our enemy’s every move,” or something like that.” </p><p>“I think he’s seen one too many war movies,” Akaashi replied. “What do you want for dinner? I was just going to order some takeout, but I think we have some stuff to make miso soup or something.” He moved from his spot on Bokuto’s chest and walked into their kitchen, looking through the fridge and pantry for ingredients.</p><p>“Takeout is fine with me. I can go to the store tomorrow morning, my first class was canceled. Can you make a list of things you want?” </p><p>“Sure, I’ll place an order right now, give me a sec.” Bokuto stayed on the couch, wondering how things had gone for Akaashi today. He didn’t like to pry when Akaashi was interested in someone, but if they might be bringing someone new into their relationship, he’s like to know more of the details. He heard Akaashi finish the order and hang up. </p><p>“How did things go today?” </p><p>“Do you really want to know, or are you just being polite?” Bokuto sat up on the couch and looked over at Akaashi who was still in the kitchen, he was pulling on his fingers. </p><p>“I want to know. If you’re interested in this person, they must be great, right?”</p><p>“I have a date on Friday,” Akaashi said, less excited than someone with a date should sound. Bokuto stood from the couch and moved to the other side of the counter across from Akaashi. </p><p>“That’s great, Ji. So she was okay with everything? That’s a relief, I know that can be the scariest part for you, but I’m glad-”</p><p>“I didn’t tell her about us,” Akaashi stated, his voice small and his eyes avoiding anything that wasn’t the counter in front of him. Bokuto felt the nausea in his stomach return as he looked straight at Akaashi. </p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I wasn’t sure how to bring it up.”</p><p>“Bullshit, this is not the first time we’ve asked someone to join our relationship and you’ve done just fine those other times. So what is it?” Bokuto waited, Akaashi refused to meet his probing gaze. Bokuto was annoyed, upset, scared, too many emotions to keep track of. He came to a realization, “Are you looking to keep this relationship exclusive between you and her, but not the three of us?” </p><p>“I don’t know. It’s been a while since we included another person in our relationship and I don’t know if I’m ready to have all three of us together or…”</p><p>“You date her, you date me, but she and I won’t date.”</p><p>“I don’t know if that’s what I want yet and I didn’t want to scare her away by talking about <em>our </em>relationship and I-” Bokuto moved around the counter and pulled Akaashi into him, holding the smaller man tight into his chest. Akaashi brought his hands up and placed them gently on Bokuto’s back. </p><p>“I know it’s been a while since there’s been a third person involved,” Bokuto started, his mouth partially muffled in Akaashi’s hair. “It’s been good with just the two of us, so I’m a little nervous too. But it’s going to be different this time, I promise. I know things ended badly last time, but… this is different, we’re different.” He looked down at Akaashi who met his gaze, sea-green eyes eclipsed by the sun. </p><p>“Yeah…” he murmured. “You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t even consider you and what you may have wanted. Do you want to try again?”</p><p>Bokuto took a deep breath, their last relationship was hard and ended both abruptly and poorly for all involved. Was that something he wanted to risk going through again? At the same time, he wasn’t sure how he felt about Akaashi dating someone separately. Not that he didn’t trust Akaashi, he just felt like it made everything a little easier to navigate. </p><p>“I’m open. I want you to be happy, Keiji. That’s all I ever want.” </p><p>“I know, you’re too good for me.” Akaashi took a step back and wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. “I love you, Koutarou. I’m sorry if I hurt you.” </p><p>“I love you, too,” Bokuto said stepping out of Akaashi’s arms. “But you still need to talk to her about this. Sooner, rather than later. If you wait too long, I think you’re going to freak her out.”</p><p>“Do you want to come on Friday? You might be able to meet her, see if maybe you want to be exclusive with her as well?” </p><p>“How would you explain that? ‘I brought my roommate with us, he wanted to meet you, just because.’ That’d be interesting. </p><p>“We’re going to that bar with the big dance floor, I’m sure you’ll be able to entertain yourself, and maybe you’ll find a way to interact with her at some point.” </p><p>“I’m not opposed.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Surface Level</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And then there was the last picture that caught your eye. Akaashi and Bokuto wearing matching uniforms - Bokuto’s with the number four and Akaashi’s with the number five. The picture looked like it had been taken by someone in the crowd at a sports game, but you could see the absolute joy on their faces; both had their arms outstretched and seemed to be screaming in celebration. It was the most expression you had seen on Akaashi’s face ever - he looked so happy. Bokuto was overjoyed as well, but in the short time you had spoken with him, this didn’t seem unusual.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you again for the reads, comments, and kudos! I hope you enjoy and please let me know if you have any constructive feedback. The next chapter will come out on March 5.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You arrived at Akaashi and Bokuto’s apartment and took a look around on the way to Akaashi’s bedroom. The apartment was quaint and tidy, but you could see the little pieces that seemed to distinctly belong to one of the men: a stack of books on the coffee table in the living room, the few sets of weights near one of the walls. There were a few photos scattered along a shelf on the far wall, too far for you to see. </p><p>“Have a good night, you two,” Bokuto said suggestively as he made his way to one side of the apartment, you could see a few piles of clothes on the floor and guessed that his bedroom would be a bit messy based on his personality. </p><p>“Goodnight, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi muttered as he walked to the other side of the living room, guiding you along by your hand. You entered his room and noted that it looked exactly like what you imagined Akaashi’s bedroom to look like. Everything was put together and neat, his bed perfectly made, a desk tucked in the corner with a few books. </p><p>You stood near the door a little awkwardly, not sure what to do. Akaashi made his way over to a dresser, unbuttoning his shirt as he walked. You felt your face grow a little hot as he pulled the shirt off and tossed it into the hamper in the corner. You took in the lines of his back, the lean muscles spanned across his shoulders and lower back. You admired the dimples that graced the area right above his butt which was perfectly shaped as well. </p><p>He crouched down to the bottom drawer of the dresser and began to rifle through its contents. From this angle, you could now take in his bare biceps and the bluish veins on his forearms, some very prominent. You suddenly thought that you couldn’t recall him in a t-shirt, ever. In class, he usually always wore a buttoned shirt and would sometimes roll the sleeves if it was warm. You felt yourself moving closer to him instinctively.</p><p>He stood and turned to you holding out some items, “These should fit. They might be a little long, though.” You took the shirt and sweatpants from him and found your eyes sweeping over his torso. His skin was fair but he had a few moles scattered from his collarbones down to his hips. He had a bit more muscle than you had originally anticipated, his toned chest hidden behind his dress shirts and sweaters. </p><p>And then there were his abs. Just like the rest of Akaashi, they were lean and toned, not overly-defined, but beautifully sculpted. His body looked as if he was just naturally gifted as opposed to bodybuilders who spent hours agonizing over specific sections of their body, supplements, and diet regimens. You also took in the subtle V shape as well as the dark trail of hair below his belly button that disappeared into his jeans. </p><p>You were pulled away from your inner thoughts by Akaashi’s hand pulling your chin up to look at him. He seemed amused judging by the slight smirk on his face. You felt a twinge of embarrassment realizing that you’ve been caught staring at him. </p><p>“You seem distracted,” he stated. </p><p>“You’re very… pretty” you responded trying to find the word to describe him correctly. He laughed a little and then pulled you in for a kiss. You let the clothes fall and placed your hands on his chest, letting your fingers press lightly against the muscle. He placed one hand on your waist and the other on the small of your back, pressing the two of you firmly together. </p><p>You felt his tongue brush lightly against your lips, looking for access. You obliged and let out soft moans as Akaashi began to explore your mouth. You moved your hands down along his torso, tracing the lines of his chest and then his abs until your hands made their way to his belt and started to unfasten the buckle. </p><p>He pulled away slowly and placed his hands on yours, stopping your work. “Not tonight,” he whispered breathlessly. He bent down to pick up the discarded clothes from the floor and handed them to you. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I should have asked,” you started in a panic, just to be cut off by his lips on yours as he placed a quick peck.</p><p>“No need to apologize,” he said moving back to the dresser and pulling out some more clothes. “I didn’t say I didn’t want to, just not tonight. I’ll let you change in here, I have to take out my contacts. When you’re done, we have some extra toothbrushes if you want to use one.”   </p><p>You thanked him as he exited the room and headed down the hallway. You changed quickly, folding your clothes neatly and placing them on the desk chair. The pants were a bit long, the shirt too big, but it had that after rainfall smell that you really enjoyed. You walked down the hallway you saw Akaashi go and found him in the bathroom brushing his teeth. </p><p>When he noticed you, he handed you a toothbrush from a cabinet - it looked like he had about ten extras. “Why do two people need so many toothbrushes?” you laughed. </p><p>“Well,” he smirked back at you in the mirror and continued while brushing, his words a little jumbled with the toothbrush in his mouth, “my parents always kept extra toothbrushes when I was growing up in case we had family or guests over. It came in handy because Bokuto usually forgot his toothbrush whenever he would spend the night. I guess it was just a habit I adopted when I moved into my own place. And besides,” he spat out the toothpaste and looked back at you in the mirror, “when are you not going to need a toothbrush?”</p><p>“That’s a fair point,” you said through your own brushing. “How long have you and Bokuto been friends?” </p><p>“We met in high school. Do you want me to throw your clothes in the wash?” </p><p>“Sure, I left them on your desk chair, I can bring them to you in a second.” </p><p>“I can grab them. Here,” he said, handing you a washcloth. “Unfortunately, I don’t have makeup remover, but there is some face wash in the medicine cabinet.” You nodded and he exited the bathroom. </p><p>You finished washing your face and walked back to his room. He was sitting in the middle of his bed with his legs crossed looking at his laptop. He looked very unlike the Akaashi you knew from class, his grey sweatpants, and black t-shirt an unusual look for him. You pictured him sleeping in a buttoned shirt and dress slacks, clutching a classic novel under his arm with how professional he always looked in public. </p><p>He turned his head to look at you over the laptop as you sat down on the bed. “We have a guest room you can sleep in if you would be more comfortable there. The bed is pretty big.” </p><p>“Um, I don’t mind staying in here… I mean as long as you don’t care.” You liked the idea of laying next to him. Although this was the first time you had spent real alone time with Akaashi - as in not in class or during his office hours - you felt very comfortable with him. </p><p>“That’s fine. I have some work to finish so I’ll do that out in the living room so I don’t keep you awake.” He closed the laptop and stood up from the bed. He pulled back the blankets a bit, inviting you to get underneath. You scooted under the comforter and he pulled them back up to your arms and let you snuggle in. He placed a kiss on your forehead and headed toward the door. </p><p>“I won’t be too long, goodnight,” he said flicking off the light. </p><p>“Goodnight,” you replied, pulling the blankets up a little closer and snuggling into the bed. He closed the door and you could faintly hear the sound of Bokuto’s voice from the living room, but you couldn’t make out what he was saying. Akaashi replied to him, but again, you couldn’t hear their conversation, but it didn’t matter as you felt your eyelids grow heavy and you fell asleep quickly. </p><p>You woke up in the middle of the night when you felt the bed dip from Akaashi’s weight. You opened your eyes a little to look at him. You watched him remove his glasses before sliding deeper under the covers. </p><p>“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer. You tucked your head under his chin and breathed him in.</p><p>“It’s okay,” you replied, closing your eyes and nuzzling against his neck. You felt sleep coming back to you almost instantly as you made yourself comfortable against him. His sheets and clothes had that after the rain smell, but they didn’t compare to the real thing. As you took one last deep inhale, chasing the sweet scent, you noticed the faint hint of something else. Cedarwood? </p><hr/><p>You woke up the next morning to the sound of someone talking. No, it was someone singing. You opened your eyes and took in Akaashi’s sleeping face. He looked incredibly at peace, lips slightly parted and his eyebrows furrowed as if he was deep in thought, even while dreaming. </p><p>You studied the lines on his face, most likely a product from various all-nighters. His hair looked messy and some pieces fell lightly over his eyes. You pushed it back gently, trying not to wake him, and took a few more moments to watch him sleep before realizing that you needed to use the bathroom. </p><p>You carefully untangled yourself from him and scooted out of the bed and into the hallway. You walked in the direction of the bathroom, noticing that the singing had stopped. You reached for the handle of the door just to grab onto air when it opened suddenly and, in front of you, stood a whistling Bokuto. </p><p>He had on nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist, but you weren’t sure how it was managing to stay on with how large he was and how small the towel appeared to be. It only covered him to his mid-thigh, showing off how muscular the rest of his legs were. </p><p>His hair was still wet and small droplets fell from the ends down to his chest. Speaking of which, Bokuto’s chest was big and muscular, just like the rest of him. He had wide shoulders and large arms that looked crafted from years of athleticism. It was as if Adonis had been reborn and placed on Earth in human form. </p><p>You watched as a droplet made its way down his chest, through the rivets of his toned abs, and disappeared onto the towel. If Akaashi was lean and muscular, Bokuto was just robust brawn. </p><p>His whistling dropped off as he noticed you standing in front of him. “Uh… good morning,” he said slightly shy. He placed his hands on the towel, making sure to keep it up and his face seemed to flush a little at the realization of his near nakedness.  </p><p>“Sorry, I just needed to use the bathroom. Was that you singing?” </p><p>“Mhm,” he smiled weakly and scooted around you. “Hope I didn’t wake you up. The bathroom’s all yours.” And then he turned and walked quickly to his room. As he walked away, you couldn’t help but notice the thickness of his butt and wondered again how his towel - or any of his clothes for that matter - managed to cover him. </p><p>You finished in the bathroom after rinsing your face with some water. As you exited into the living room, you took in the apartment now that you could see it in the daylight. You walked over to the stack of books and read through the titles: some classics you knew and others you had never heard of. Pages had been folded over, and as you turned some of them, you could see what you knew to be Akaashi’s handwriting in the margins every now and then. </p><p>You moved to look at the photos on the shelf and smiled at the younger versions of Akaashi and Bokuto. There was one of the two of them on Bokuto’s graduation day. Bokuto looked a little smaller than he was now but still muscular and bigger than Akaashi. He had his diploma in hand, his gown slightly wrinkled, an arm around Akaashi’s shoulders. Akaashi wore a smile that seemed to be a little warmer than the one he used in class when he was trying to be polite. Although it was close, upon further inspection, one could tell that the two were best friends and this was a very touching moment for both. </p><p>In the next photo, the roles were reversed: Akaashi’s graduation day. He wore his glasses, his gown neat and tidy, and his diploma in his hand. Bokuto looked a little larger in this photo, and he beamed at the camera with his arm around Akaashi’s shoulder in a similar way to the previous picture; the same soft smile sat on Akaashi’s face.</p><p>There were pictures with people you didn’t recognize - Bokuto with, who you guessed were his sisters based on their resemblance all doing a funny pose, next to it, a photo of Bokuto and Akaashi standing with a man who had a very unique case of bedhead, all three men wearing athletic clothing, and pictures of their respective families. </p><p>And then there was the last picture that caught your eye. Akaashi and Bokuto wearing matching uniforms - Bokuto’s with the number four and Akaashi’s with the number five. The picture looked like it had been taken by someone in the crowd at a sports game, but you could see the absolute joy on their faces; both had their arms outstretched and seemed to be screaming in celebration. It was the most expression you had seen on Akaashi’s face ever - he looked so happy. Bokuto was overjoyed as well, but in the short time you had spoken with him, this didn’t seem unusual.</p><p>“Snooping around?” You jumped at the sound of Bokuto’s voice behind you and felt a little embarrassed as if you had intruded into their private lives. </p><p>“Uh, no… I just,” you began to stammer.” </p><p>“I’m just kidding,” he laughed, moving next to you. “Ah, that was at one of our tournaments in high school. I was working really hard to perfect my line shots and something just finally clicked.” He smiled at the memory as he reached out and touched the picture. “It wouldn’t have been possible without Akaashi’s help.”</p><p>“I didn’t know that Akaashi played sports at all,” you said. It made a little bit more sense, now that you thought about it, for his body to look as lean and muscular. He did have an athletic build, just different from Bokuto’s. </p><p>“Oh yeah, Akaashi’s tosses are the best! But don’t tell that to my current setter. He would probably cry.” You looked at Bokuto as he seemed to be remembering something endearing, he had a small smile on his face and he grew a little quiet. </p><p>“You two must be really good friends, huh?” you asked pulling him back to reality. “I mean, for you both to attend the other’s graduation and now to be living together, you must be best friends.”</p><p>“Yeah, you could say that! Hey, are you hungry? I’m about to make some eggs and rice.”</p><p>“I could eat.” You followed Bokuto to the kitchen and he began to cook breakfast and put on a pot of coffee. As he cooked, he talked animatedly about his high school days with Akaashi, training camps with someone named Kuroo (who you later learned was the man with the bed head), playing volleyball until the late hours of the night and on weekend, and all the times Akaashi helped him out of his funks. </p><p>“...and then, Akaashi used a feint out of nowhere and pulled us back ahead. No one was expecting it, not even us! It was so cool!”</p><p>“That sounds really impressive. Do you know why he didn’t continue with volleyball? If he’s as good as you say he is, why isn’t he playing with you now?”</p><p>“Akaashi has always been focused on his grades - coffee?” he paused his story to offer you a cup. You shook your head and he continued, “so after high school, he just focused on school. His parents also have some pretty high expectations for him. But man, if he ever decided to come back to volleyball, we would dominate!”</p><p>“Why are you so loud?” You turned to see Akaashi walking toward the kitchen, wiping the sleep from his eyes. He walked past you and looked in one of the cabinets for a coffee mug. </p><p>“Sorry, I guess I just got excited talking about high school. Your mug is on the left,” said Bokuto, placing a plate in front of you. Akaashi spotted the mug and reached for it, his t-shirt lifting just enough to show the lower part of his stomach. </p><p>“You want me to make another plate?” Bokuto asked. Akaashi waved his hand and made a face, instead opting for black coffee before taking a spot next to you at the counter. </p><p>“Bokuto-san told me you were an excellent volleyball player in high school. I wish I could have seen that.” </p><p>“Hm,” Akaashi let out a hum of agreement and sipped on his coffee. </p><p>“He’s not a morning person, give him, like, ten minutes or so. Then he’ll be ready to have an intelligent conversation with you,” Bokuto laughed. </p><p>Your conversation continued with Akaashi contributing a few grunts for the first half an hour or so while you and Bokuto ate. When he started to wake up, he placed a hand on your thigh and began to rub his thumb back and forth over the sweat pants. </p><p>“You can borrow the sweats for now. I was able to put your clothes in the dryer last night before going to bed, but I didn’t think you would want to put on a dress just to head home,” Akaashi said standing from his stool. “I can drive you back to your place in a bit.” </p><p>“That sounds good,” you said looking up at him. “I have to work on my essay a bit more before submitting it.” </p><p>Bokuto grabbed your plate and Akaashi’s empty mug and began to clean the kitchen from breakfast. Akaashi looked down at you and placed a hand on your back before pulling you in for a kiss. You smiled at him before noticing that Bokuto was looking at the two of you. You turned your eyes and when he noticed that he had been spotted, he quickly looked away. You moved your attention back to Akaashi who did not seem to notice.</p><p>“Ready?” he asked and extended his hand. You took it and hopped from the barstool. </p><p>“Ready.” </p><hr/><p>You opened your laptop, determined to finish your paper and submit your assignment early, no more waiting until the night before to hand in big papers, praying and hoping for the best. Looking over the revisions in sentence structure that Akaashi pointed out during his office hours, you got to work and started making some headway. </p><p>You heard the notification from your phone about fifteen or so minutes into your work. Pulling the phone closure to you, you couldn’t help the small smile on your face as you read who the message was from. </p><p> </p><p>Akaashi☺:</p><p>I had a good time last night. I look forward to going out again. Best of luck with the rest of your paper. </p><p> </p><p>Y/N:</p><p>I had a good time too! I’d rather be spending more time with you than writing this paper lol</p><p> </p><p>You looked at your text hoping not to sound too clingy or weird. You debated for a moment before pressing send but figured that if a text message would cause Akaashi to stop talking to you, perhaps he didn’t actually like you. A few moments later, your phone buzzed again. </p><p> </p><p>Akaashi☺:</p><p>Yes, we will have to set something up for later this week, perhaps. Make sure to work on that paper, though. It’s worth forty-five percent of your final grade. I’ll have some office hours on Monday if you need any last minute help, but today would be a good day to focus on working through your sentence structure a bit more. </p><p> </p><p>Only Akaashi would send you a full paragraph, full sentences and punctuation included, via text and fall smoothly into TA mode with a full lecture about your grade. But the promise of more office hours was intriguing as well. Maybe putting off just a bit of the paper - or at least pretending to - just to go see him alone on Monday would be worth it. </p><p> </p><p>Y/N:</p><p>Yes, I will make sure to work on the paper today and if I need help, I will let you know. Do you have anything planned today?</p><p> </p><p>Akaashi☺:</p><p>Bo doesn’t have practice today, but still wants to go to the gym, so I’m going to join him. He has too much energy so hopefully, this will tire him out. But I doubt it. Stop stalling and start working on your paper. </p><p> </p><p>Y/N:</p><p>How did you know I was stalling? Lol Well, good luck with Bokuto-san and the gym. I’m sure you’ll have fun. </p><p> </p><p>With that, you buckled down and focused on your paper, trying to better integrate some of the passages Akaashi had gone over in class into your paragraphs. You wondered how he could just come up with these profound arguments about literature that was so old and make it seem relevant, but perhaps that was why he was a literature major and you were not. </p><p>After a few hours of work, you made your way to the kitchen to make a snack as a reward for your work. Your roommate was in the kitchen on the phone with her boyfriend having a private conversation very loudly in public. You tried to ignore her as you perused through the contents of the fridge for something to munch on. </p><p>“So,” she started. “How was your date?” You turned to realize she was talking to you. You didn’t notice that she had ended her conversation with her boyfriend. You turned from the fridge and moved to the counter, resting your elbow against the surface. </p><p>“It was good, I had a lot of fun.” </p><p>“And I noticed you didn’t come home last night.” She wagged her eyebrows suggestively. She was digging for details since it was not often you went on dates or even went out on a Friday night. She was very open about her relationship and she would often talk about her sex life, which included details about her favorite positions or when she and her boyfriend would try something new. </p><p>“I stayed the night at Akaashi’s,” you said innocently. She raised an eyebrow expecting more information but looked a little restless when you offered nothing else. </p><p>“And?” she asked. </p><p>“And what?” you mused. </p><p>“Come on, don’t leave me hanging here. I tell you all about my sex life, share a little with the class why don’t you.” </p><p>“You share even when it’s unwarranted,” you teased. “But nothing happened. I just stayed the night and we slept. His roommate cooked breakfast in the morning and then Akaashi drove me back home. He was a perfect gentleman.” </p><p>She looked a little disappointed. “So nothing? You didn’t even go down on each other or give him a hand job?” You choked a little, taken aback by her bluntness. You were definitely not prudish, but never really talked about sex so openly and in layman’s terms. </p><p>“No, nothing.” Your tone must have betrayed you because she moved a little closer and smiled a little too much. </p><p>“But you wanted to… Did you guys make out or something and you had to put the brakes on?” </p><p>“No, that’s not it. Actually,” you began, a little nervous to be divulging this much information. “He stopped me.” </p><p>She looked at you a little skeptically. “What do you mean, ‘he stopped you’?”</p><p>“Well,” you continued, “we were kissing and I went to take off his belt, and… he stopped me.” She looked a little confused. You guessed that her boyfriend never refused her advances before, so this scenario did not fully compute. </p><p>“Did he say why?”</p><p>“I think he was just being polite. He said, ‘not tonight.’ So I guess that means he’s interested, but it was our first date so…” </p><p>“So what? Those rules of courtesy are stupid and old fashioned. I had sex on my first date with-”</p><p>“I know, you already told me about it. In detail.” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered while walking back toward her room. “But hopefully he’s not hiding something from you.” You looked over at her in a panic. Could Akaashi be hiding something? Did he not want to have sex? Was he just trying to be polite and didn’t know how to communicate that he was not interested in you like that?</p><p>“What do you think he could be…” your sentence trailed off as you thought of too many scenarios that were not true. </p><p>“Maybe he has a small dick,” she said matter of factly. You looked at her dumbfounded. “Like maybe he just wants you to like him a little more before showing you his small dick. Could you imagine having a great night lading up to sex with a guy who has a tiny dick? That would suck.” Now you knew you were overreacting and that Akaashi, most likely, was not hiding something from you. </p><p>“Some people are not as shallow as you. Why would I care about that?”</p><p>“Have you ever tried to have sex with someone with a tiny dick?” You just glowered at her and her insinuation about the size of Akaashi’s member until she left the room, smirking as if she had won the argument. You grabbed a snack from the fridge and headed back to your room to finish working on your paper. You only had a small bit left to write and then review and revise. You would bring the near-finished product to Akaashi’s office hours on Monday. </p><p>“His dick is probably just fine,” you muttered to yourself and as you closed the door to your bedroom.  </p><hr/><p>You arrived at class Monday morning and noticed that Akaashi was visibly absent from the room. You frowned inwardly, a little sad because you were looking forward to seeing him, even if it was mostly at a distance. You had finished your paper and planned to bring it to his office hours regardless, but you enjoyed the small moments in class where he would let his fingers linger over your skin, hidden from the eyes of the other students. </p><p>You, very reluctantly, resisted texting on Sunday to make it seem as if you were not totally obsessed with him. But, that only made your anticipation to see him the following day grow. You had to admit to yourself, you had it bad for him. </p><p>Class began and Akaashi still did not arrive. Perhaps he wasn’t feeling well. If he was sick, that meant he wouldn’t be at his office later that afternoon and you would have to wait until Wednesday to see him. You slowly pulled out your phone and typed out a message as secretive as possible. </p><p> </p><p>Y/N:</p><p>Hey, you’re not in class. Are you not feeling well? </p><p> </p><p>You waited for a response and then looked back to the lecture when it seemed like you were not going to get one right away. Professor Yamamoto was not as interesting to look at and you didn’t care if she was just giving the same information about Orpheus that Akaashi had previously last week. You would much rather hear it coming from him. </p><p>You felt your desk vibrate and you looked to see the notification on your phone from Akaashi. </p><p> </p><p>Akaashi☺:</p><p>I’m doing fine. I just had a routine doctor’s appointment this morning. You don’t have to worry about me. </p><p> </p><p>Y/N:</p><p>What makes you think I was worried about you? I just wanted to make sure you were holding office hours this afternoon so I can show you my paper before I submit it. But I’m glad to hear you go to your checkups. Did you get a lollipop from the doctor? </p><p> </p><p>You turned back to the lecture smiling. You wondered what he would think of that response. His answer came quicker this time as your phone vibrated twice. </p><p> </p><p>Akaashi☺:</p><p>No lollipop, I’m not a sweets type of person. But he did give me a sticker for behaving so well. </p><p>You should be paying attention to the lecture. Professor Yamamoto would be upset if she knew you were fooling around during her class. How will you learn any of the material if you’re distracted? </p><p> </p><p>Y/N:</p><p>I appreciate your concern. But I have this great TA who helps me understand the material. He's a great senpai. </p><p> </p><p>Akaashi☺:</p><p>Is he now? He doesn’t seem very serious if he lets you fool around in class. What kind of an example is this man setting? I should have a stern talking to this senpai. This is definitely not an appropriate relationship between a senpai and his kohai. </p><p> </p><p>Y/N:</p><p>You have no idea. </p><hr/><p>The professor dismissed the class after assigning a few chapters that you had already read for homework. You headed to your next class, not receiving any more messages from Akaashi, and listened to the lecture while taking notes. </p><p>You received an email that your third class had been canceled because the professor’s child had come down with a cold. This gave you a bit of time before the beginning of Akaashi’s office hours. Normally, you skip lunch due to your busy day, but with the extra hour or so, you decided to head to the student union to grab some food. </p><p>You picked up something from one of the food vendors in the cafeteria and scanned the room for an open table. It was more crowded than you anticipated, but having never really been to the union at this hour, it made sense why you were not prepared. </p><p>“Hey, y/n!” you heard someone calling from across the room. You shifted your gaze to try and locate the voice. After a few more scans, you noticed the tall man with white and black streaked hair waving his arms at you. You moved to join him at his table. </p><p>“Hi Bokuto-san,” you said as you sat down. </p><p>“Oh, please,” he responded waving a disapproving hand. “No honorifics. I get enough of the ‘Bokuto-san’ with ‘Kashi. It drives me nuts.” </p><p>“I noticed that he calls you by your last name and is super proper about that, but you have such a cute nickname for him. How come? It seems like you’ve been friends for a while. Best friends if I recall,” you teased him a little. </p><p>“I don’t know. He’s always been polite, ever since I met him. He has great manners, someone you can bring home to your parents, I tell ya’ that!” He started munching on his bento which seemed extremely organized, almost too organized for someone like Bokuto to have put together. “If you ask me,” he said in a more hushed tone, “I think it’s mostly for appearances.”</p><p>“What do you mean,” you asked, taking a sip from your water. </p><p>“Well, not that he’s not genuine, that’s not what I mean. But when it’s just the two of us, he’ll call me ‘Bo.’ So I think he just wants to appear polite in front of others because it’s what he was always taught to do but he knows that I don’t care, so he can call me whatever in private. When he’s really mad, and I mean really mad, he’ll even call me by my first name. It’s kind of scary.” </p><p>You laughed as you tried to imagine Akaashi showing such emotion as anger. He was always so calm and cool, it must have taken a lot to annoy him or make him upset. But spending just a small amount of time with Bokuto, you could picture how the large man may get on Akaashi’s nerves occasionally. </p><p>“I’ve heard him call you ‘Bo’ before when we were at the bar. I didn't know your name until he mentioned his roommate later when you were grabbing the car.”</p><p>“Hm, interesting,” he said, taking a bite of onigiri. He seemed to be mulling something over but didn’t continue the conversation. </p><p>“Well, hello there.” You looked up to see Akaashi standing next to you. “Am I interrupting something, or would it be okay if I join you?” he joked. </p><p>“Hey there, ‘Kashi! We were just talking about you,” Bokuto stated a little louder than necessary. “Y/N said that she didn’t even know we were roommates until you mentioned something at the bar. Are you embarrassed by me or something?” </p><p>“Is that a serious question?” Akaashi stated dryly while pulling out his own bento. It was just as well organized as Bokuto’s and contained most of the same foods but in smaller amounts.</p><p>“That’s so cute,” you stated. Both men looked at you, a little confused by your statement, and waited for you to elaborate. “Akaashi, did you pack Bokuto’s lunch?” Their expression turned from confusion to slight embarrassment. </p><p>“Sometimes I forget, and then I’m exhausted during practice and-” Bokuto panicked a little trying to explain away the situation.</p><p>“Yes, I packed his lunch,”  Akaashi replied more calmly. “It’s become a little ritual, to be honest.” You looked at him a little questioning and waited for him to continue. “I noticed, back in high school, Bokuto-san would often forget his lunch and would have to buy snacks from the vending machine to eat. Of course, these hardly constituted a healthy meal for an athlete, so I began to just make more of what I was eating and packed an extra bento for him.” </p><p>“That’s so sweet of you,” you gushed. “You two care about each other so much, it’s so cute.” Bokuto began to blush and rub the back of his neck in embarrassment while Akaashi continued to eat his meal. “Didn’t your parents think it was weird that you would bring food for your friend?” you asked. </p><p>“I think they assumed my appetite had just increased from playing volleyball and from my body developing more, so they never really questioned it.” </p><p>“I’m not sure I would have made it through high school without ‘Kashi,” Bokuto beamed. “He always knew what to do in a weird situation or could help tutor me in a subject, even though he was a grade behind me. My first year in college without him, I was a wreck. I lost like, fifteen pounds from not eating enough because I would forget to make meals and would just eat instant ramen.” </p><p>“You’re going to lose another fifteen if you continue to talk instead of eating,” Akaashi stated sternly. Bokuto laughed and pulled Akaashi under his arm to begin reminiscing about some high school shenanigans. You watched as the two men interacted, a seemingly unlikely pair that somehow just worked together. Both were extremely familiar with the other’s needs and wants and they fit that into a routine that suited the two of them perfectly. </p><p>You felt a little like an outsider invited to a personal moment between intimate friends. Bokuto looked at Akaashi with such love and adoration in his eyes. You could tell that he cared very deeply for the younger man, but it was more than just a friendship. This was a relationship that you weren’t sure you could describe just yet. </p><p>Even when you looked at Akaashi, although he seemed to be wearing the same neutral, or even somewhat annoyed, look on his face when interacting with Bokuto, it was different. There was a softness to his features, a fondness for the man sitting next to him. You liked seeing this more caring side to Akaashi who tended to be more stoic. You hoped to get more of this in the future. </p><p>You looked down at your watch and noticed Akaashi’s office hours would begin soon. He noticed you looking at the time and checked his phone as well. </p><p>“Well,” he said, packing his bento into his bag. “I better head off to the office now. Have a good practice, Bokuto-san.” </p><p>“Yes, I hope you hit a lot of balls,” you chimed in, clearing your tray and standing from the table.” Both men looked at you, Akaashi with an incredulous look as Bokuto tried to hold in his laughter. “Sorry, that sounded kind of dumb. I hope you do well, though.”</p><p>“Thanks,” he said behind muffled laughter. </p><p>“You are a wing spiker, you tend to hit a lot of balls,” Akaashi said flatly. </p><p>“Yeah, well you were a setter, so you used to toss a lot of balls,” Bokuto retorted, still laughing a little. </p><p>“Okay, I’m going to my office. Hours start in ten minutes. Did you need me to look over your paper before you submit it?” he asked, turning his attention to you.</p><p> “Yeah, that would be great.” He held out a hand for you to take, his much longer fingers interlacing with your own, and the two began to walk toward the English building. You turned back to wave goodbye to Bokuto. He was no longer laughing but wore a different expression altogether that you could not quite make out as more distance grew between you.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Promises</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“...We knew where this was going to end up from the very beginning and don’t pretend as if you didn’t see this coming. We both know you’re much smarter than that.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A little bit of angst thrown in...</p><p>Context Notes: A single line denotes a change in day or scene, a double line will indicate a change in time (past or present).</p><p>The next update will be on March 12.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Nothing happened, Kou. I already told you,” Akaashi stated for the third time, or maybe it had been four. He tried to keep his tone calm, but he was becoming irritated with his partner’s insistent chiding. Bokuto paced around the living room, not quite taking in the words. Akaashi wondered if he would start seeing indentations from Bokuto’s path on the floor.</p><p>“You went on <em>one </em>date and she <em>slept </em>in your bed. What the fuck? How well do you even know this person? What if she had murdered you in your sleep? Or she could have felt you up without your consent.” </p><p>“Which is it?” Bokuto paused his pacing and looked at Akaashi, confused. “Either she’s a murderer or a pervert, or maybe both. Which one?”</p><p>He continued moving around the furniture and chewed on his lip while Akaashi looked on exasperated. “She didn’t want to go home, she has a thing with her annoying roommate, which I’m starting to understand now.” </p><p>“Okay, yeah. I’m the annoying, clingy, asshole. Like always.”</p><p>“That’s not what I said, Kou. But you’re overreacting just a bit, aren’t you? All we did was sleep. Nothing more - you should know that I wouldn’t have done more than that. And besides, you were the one who asked me to come back to your bedroom last night. What would have happened if she heard us?”</p><p>“You would have had to explain that your roommate is not your roommate, but has been your boyfriend since high school and that you like to have more than one relationship at a time. That wasn’t so hard, let’s go tell her. I’ll drive.” </p><p>“I wish you would stop freaking out. I don’t like this… this possessive thing that’s happening right now,” Akaashi struggled for the right words, trying not to say the wrong thing. “It’s not <em>that </em>easy to talk about my boyfriend from high school who has been in a few relationships with me before we…” Bokuto looked up, waiting for Akaashi to finish the sentence, he didn't. “Maybe this wasn’t a good idea for us to…”</p><p>Bokuto stopped pacing and stared at Akaashi, hurt in his golden eyes. Akaashi’s features softened, he walked over to Bokuto and went to hold his hand, just to have Bokuto push it away. </p><p>“I’m sorry, that was unnecessary.” </p><p>“Do you…?” Bokuto started but couldn’t bring himself to finish the question, not wanting to hear the answer. They stood in silence for a moment, the stillness in the air weighing heavy on them. Akaashi opened his mouth and then closed it, trying to find the right words to soothe the other. </p><p>“I love you,” Akaashi began, “and I am <em>happy </em>that we are together. I’m happy that we got back together, and I don’t regret that decision for a moment. <em> You </em>make me happy. I need you to know that. And I’m sorry, I should have insisted that we take her back home last night-”</p><p>“That’s not what I’m upset about,” Bokuto said in a quiet voice. He looked into Akaashi’s eyes, his own contemplative with a question that would go unasked. Akaashi’s sea green ones looked back, a calm pool at the moment, but Bokuto knew that a storm was ever-present.  </p><p>“I know. I will tell her about me, about us. You’re important, and I’m sorry that my actions make you feel otherwise.” He wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck, the two stood in the embrace for a long time, bodies pressed against each other in comfort. Bokuto pulled away gently. </p><p>“Are we okay?” he whispered. </p><p>Akaashi paused before answering, “I think we will be.” Akaashi nuzzled his face into the crook of Bokuto’s neck and took a deep breath. The familiar smell of cotton and cedarwood made him feel at ease and he felt himself pull Bokuto in a little tighter hoping their bodies could cascade into one another. Bokuto reciprocated the motion, a tight grip around Akaashi’s back as they lingered. Akaashi loved Bokuto more than he knew how to describe, which was the problem. </p><p>“Can I ask one thing?” Bokuto questioned, the side of his face pressed into Akaashi’s hair. </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Bokuto took a breath and then exhaled deeply, the wind blowing pieces of black curl. “This is going to sound possessive, I know it is, I’m sorry. But… please don’t sleep with her until she knows everything.” </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>Bokuto pulled away slightly, just enough, and placed a kiss on the side of Akaashi’s head, keeping his lips in the mess of soft, black waves. “I love you,” he whispered so quietly, if Akaashi didn’t know better, he would have thought he had imagined it. </p><p>In response, Akaashi pulled Bokuto’s lips to his own and kissed him roughly, deeply, trying to convey all of his emotions into one action. Bokuto’s hands moved to Akaashi’s face as he kissed back with need and desire. </p><p>Akaashi knew what he needed to do, but he was scared. Memories of past mistakes burned holes into his psyche and clouded all semblance of rational thinking. He wanted this time to be better.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>“Fuck, ‘Kashi,” Bokuto panted looking up at his boyfriend standing between his legs, pumping vigorously. “Feels… good,” he managed. Both men were breathing heavily, a layer of sweat coating their skin making them glisten under the faint light from the lamp on the nightstand. This scene may have been more romantic if it hadn’t taken place in a college dorm room. </p><p>Kuroo leaned forward and kissed Akaashi’s neck while moving his own hips in an opposite motion to meet Akaashi’s when he pulled back from Bokuto. Akaashi normally liked being in control, but he loved the sensation of being between two beautifully sculpted men even more. He had been reluctant at first to try something like this, but Kuroo had talked to him about how Akaashi would be the one to set the pace for everything. He <em>really </em>liked being in control. </p><p>Labored breathing, skin connecting, messy kissing, and moans filled Kuroo and Bokuto’s dorm room. Surely, their neighbors would hear it and complain to a staff member, but they didn’t care, at least not tonight, because they were celebrating. It was the first night all three could be together since Bokuto and Kuroo left for university. They tried to visit when they could, but between Bokuto’s practices and games and Kuroo’s insane class schedule, they could never find the time where all three were available. This usually resulted in either Bokuto <em>or </em>Kuroo going to visit home, watching a game, or going on a few dates before taking the train back. </p><p>This situation made Akaashi feel a little lonely. He knew he would have to plan for his boyfriends going away eventually, but when it happened, the feelings of isolation crept into him like smoke invading his lungs and cohabitating in his chest cavity. He had thought about finding a person to have a relationship with on his own but felt bad about not including the other two. The agreement they made was between them, he didn't know if that would ever change. </p><p>“Bo, you look so hot like that,” crooned Kuroo, reaching a hand around to play with one of Akaashi’s nipples, adding to his pleasure even more, almost to the point of overstimulation. He arched back at the touch, causing him to go deeper into Bokuto with a breathy moan. </p><p>“Ahh... fuck, that’s good,” Bokuto said, his voice shaky. </p><p>“I’m close,” Akaashi whispered, “If you keep doing that, Kuroo-san, I’m going to come.” </p><p>“Fuck, can you at least knock it off with the honorifics when I’m inside you?” Kuroo said while kissing down on Akaashi’s shoulder before biting down gently, making sure to only leave a mark where his jersey and t-shirts would cover - they had to learn that the hard way when Akaashi showed up to practice with a very dark hickey on the inside of his thigh, a little lower than where his shorts would have covered. </p><p>“Ah,” Akaashi moaned out, coming inside Bokuto and clenching around Kuroo, causing the latter to orgasm himself. The two rode out their highs together, kissing and touching one another until they felt satiated. Kuroo pulled out of Akaashi and looked down at Bokuto. </p><p>“I think we left someone out,” he chuckled, removing his condom, tying it off, and tossing it in the trash can. Akaashi turned his attention to Bokuto who was still hard, the tip of his cock pink and leaking from a lack of stimulation, and slowly pulled himself out, his erection gone. </p><p>“Sorry, babe,” he said as he removed his own condom and disposed of it. </p><p>“It’s fine, I like to watch you come.” Akaashi turned a little red at the comment; Bokuto and Kuroo had seen him at his most vulnerable - completely nude, on his knees in front of them, masturbating as a group - and he could still manage to get embarrassed from a simple statement or complement from Bokuto. </p><p>“I think we can manage to take care of you. Right, Akaashi?” Kuroo said suggestively before moving onto the bed. He began to kiss Bokuto deeply, moving his hands onto his chest and landing on his nipple to play with. Bokuto moaned into Kuroo’s mouth and pulled him in closer. </p><p>Akaashi made his way to Bokuto’s lower half, taking in thick thighs and his erection lying against his stomach, beads of pre-cum at the slit. Akaashi began to pump his cock, earning more moans that stayed muffled in Kuroo’s mouth. He licked lazily from the base to the tip before taking Bokuto into his mouth. Bokuto was already close, he wouldn’t need to do much to bring him to orgasm, but he wanted to take his time and enjoy it, he didn’t know the next time he and his boyfriends would get to be intimate. </p><p>“Fuck, he looks really pretty sucking your cock, huh? It’s making me kind of hard again. You might have to blow me next, Akaashi,” Kuroo said. Akaashi looked up through his lashes, mouth still on Bokuto, and saw that Kuroo was half-hard again. He had gotten used to their individual needs over the past year; Bokuto had a lot of stamina in that he could last a long time. Usually, Kuroo and Akaashi would come at least twice before Bokuto did. </p><p>Kuroo’s drive worked differently. He could have three or more orgasms and get hard immediately afterward; there were some days where Bokuto and Akaashi would have to take turns because Kuroo would be into round six before he became overstimulated and began to shoot blanks. Akaashi adapted to both of their needs, but sometimes wondered what they were like together, just the two of them. He had never just sat on the sidelines and watched them with each other, but he imagined Kuroo yelling at Bokuto to hurry up and come. </p><p>Bokuto sat up and watched Akaashi work, nothing but hunger in his eyes. He took a hold of Kuroo’s member and began to pump the other man, never taking his eyes off Akaashi. Kuroo too, despite kissing along Bokuto’s neck and shoulders, maintained focus on Akaashi. </p><p>“Almost there,” Bokuto said through gritted teeth. Akaashi took Bokuto’s cock from his mouth and began pumping a little quicker, watching Bokuto’s breathing become more shallow as he approached his climax. He sat up and took Kuroo’s member from Bokuto and pumped both men at the same pace until they both came over his hands, Bokuto first and Kuroo shortly behind him. </p><p>Akaashi licked both of them briefly, tasting the semen on them. “Ji, it’s still sensitive,” Bokuto whined when Akaashi’s tongue graced across the tip of his member. Kuroo hummed in appreciation before pulling the other two in for a messy kiss, tasting the sweat, semen, and saliva. </p><p>They fell back in the bed that was much too small for all of them to fit, and snuggled into one another. “We should have done this in your bed, Bo. I’m going to have to sleep on the couch tonight.” </p><p>“Why don’t we roll out a few futons and we can all sleep in the common room? Like we used to in high school,” Bokuto suggested. </p><p>“Sure, sounds like fun,” Akaashi agreed. </p><p>The three jumped in the shower together, again, much too small for them to all fit comfortably but allowed them to wash each other and maintain some contact, and then proceeded to get ready for bed. They laid out their futons in the common room, moving the coffee table and pushing their sofa back a bit, and then laid down close together. Akaashi in the middle with Bokuto to his left pressed firm into his chest, and Kuroo on his right, arms wrapped around his waist and his chest against Akaashi’s back. </p><p>Bokuto laid a quick kiss on Akaashi’s lips and whispered, “I love, Ji. Happy birthday.”</p><p>“I love you too, good night. Good night, Kuroo.” </p><p>Kuroo hummed a response behind him, already sinking into sleep, and placed a kiss on Akaashi’s neck. They fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms, something they hadn’t done in months. </p><p>When Akaashi woke up, Kuroo was already gone, but somehow, Bokuto managed to pin him underneath two-thirds of his body. “Kou, wake up,” he said gently nudging Bokuto. “Where’d Kuroo go?”</p><p>“Hmm? He has a big final coming up, he probably went to the library to study,” Bokuto responded, still sleepy and still on top of Akaashi. </p><p>“Oh. He didn’t try to wake us up to let us know he was leaving. Do you know if he’s going to come back to drive with us to the train station?” </p><p>“I don’t know. He probably wanted to let you sleep a little. What time does your train leave again?” </p><p>“12:30, we should eat breakfast and get my stuff together before we have to drive over there. Come on, get up, it’s already nine.” </p><p>They drove to the train station a few hours later. Akaashi always hated this part but having Bokuto with him, reassuring that he would come to visit in two weeks, made it a little better. He kissed Akaashi every few minutes and held his hand until the very last moment when Akaashi had to get on the train. Kuroo didn’t join them on the drive. He said he had a really important final coming up before the end of the semester and needed to work on some study guides. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kuroo: </b>
</p><p>Have a safe trip back, Akaashi. I’ll see you soon. </p><p> </p><p>Akaashi looked at the message, it felt so cold. Kuroo was not the best with texting, but he would usually sound a little happier. He would add some winking emojis or a heart or even a suggestive eggplant. Akaashi rationalized that Kuroo was just busy with his studies, like any other college student. But he couldn’t help the anxious feeling in the pit of his stomach. </p><hr/><p>As Akaashi walked onto the court the following week, he noticed Kuroo in the stands, a melancholy smile across his face. Akaashi smiled at him and began his game, nausea coming and going like waves. </p><p>Afterward, Kuroo was waiting outside the locker room. He looked up from his phone when Akaashi approached him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. “That was a great game. You played really well, Akaashi,” he said. </p><p>“You usually tell me when you plan to come to my games.” </p><p>“I thought I would surprise you. Let’s go grab some food, I’m sure you’re starving. You’ve done a great job as captain, I can tell they respect you. It’s a totally different team from last year - not that Bokuto did a bad job or anything. It’s just… different.” </p><p>“Kuroo, what’s wrong?” Akaashi asked, fiddling with his fingers, eyes on his shoes.</p><p>“What do you mean? I can’t cheer you on at your game?” </p><p>“You can just tell me. I’m not too delicate that you can’t be honest with your feelings. What’s the real reason you came tonight?” </p><p>“Hm. Okay.” Kuroo let out a deep breath through his nose and looked straight at Akaashi who kept his gaze at his shoes. “I’ve been thinking about us, and our relationship, you know. And... are you happy? With me? Are you getting what you need from me? Because, y’know, there are times when-”</p><p>“If you’re going to break up with me, please just get to the point, Kuroo.” Akaashi looked up from his shoes and now had Kuroo’s full attention. </p><p>“Akaashi...”</p><p>“I told you I’m not delicate. Please just go ahead and tell me.”</p><p>Kuroo paused for a moment, he took a step forward to close some of the distance between himself and Akaashi. A few people were milling about, but no one within earshot. He knew that this conversation was not going to be very easy, but he didn’t think he would be the one having an issue. He looked into Akaashi’s eyes and bore witness to the silent storm that never seemed to settle since the moment he met him. Akaashi had always been hyper-aware of those around him, he shouldn’t have been surprised that he had caught on. </p><p>“I think we should end this,” Kuroo stated. Akaashi sucked a small breath in, barely audible. “I don’t think either of us is happy in this relationship and you deserve a partner that <em>will </em>make you happy. I see how you are with Bo and it’s just different.” </p><p>“‘Different,’” Akaashi repeated the words to himself. “How long have you been feeling this way, Kuroo-san?” </p><p>“A few months now. It’s been a lot harder since we moved away, y’know. The distance just doesn’t make it easier and it’s not the same when it’s just the two of us. It never was.” </p><p>“Why are you just telling me this now if you’ve been feeling this way for months?”</p><p>“I wasn’t quite sure what to say, Akaashi. And it didn’t feel right to break up with you the last time you visited… on your birthday. I’m sorry.” </p><p>“I see. So then, will this be awkward now with you and Bokuto-san? Have you talked to him about this?” It was Kuroo’s turn to study his shoes while trying to piece together his next sentence. Before he could, Akaashi spoke again. “You still want to continue a relationship with Bokuto-san.” </p><p>Kuroo nodded. “He’ll only continue if you’re okay with it, he wants your blessing. Bo said that he doesn’t want you to be upset if we keep on dating. He cares too much about <em>your </em>relationship. And if you say no, I’ll be fine with it. I mean, it might be weird at first, but I’m sure-”  </p><p>“So it’s just me,” Akaashi deadpanned, cutting Kuroo off. </p><p>“Akaashi I-”</p><p>“You just don’t want to be with me, but you want to keep fucking my boyfriend.”</p><p>“<em> Our </em>boyfriend,” Kuroo asserted, a little too loudly. “You invited me into this relationship, remember?” he continued much more quietly. “I’m sorry that I connect more with Bo, that’s not something I can help, Akaashi. And it’s not like you ever really tried with me. We knew where this was going to end up from the <em>very </em>beginning and don’t pretend as if you didn’t see this coming. We both know you’re much smarter than that.”</p><p>Kuroo paused again, feeling as though his words had been a bit too harsh as he looked at Akaashi’s face. The younger man, while knowing of this outcome, still looked upset, heartbroken almost. Kuroo felt guilty for being the one to end it and now wished that it was Akaashi that had told <em>him </em>that he was no longer interested. </p><p>“Listen, Akaashi-”</p><p>“It’s fine. You guys can keep dating. I don’t want to really hear about it, though, if you don’t mind.”</p><p>“Are you sure? We can go back to the way things were before. It’s okay, Akaashi.”</p><p>“Yes, it’s fine. Let’s go get some food. I just had a long game and I’m hungry now.” Kuroo felt a little skeptical but followed after Akaashi as he began to leave the hallway. He didn’t realize what kind of a connection he would have with Bokuto until Akaashi brought them all together. He wanted to keep exploring that. But he couldn’t deny the disconnect he felt with Akaashi any longer, no matter how much he liked him as a person and friend, they just weren’t compatible as anything more. He sent a quick text to Bokuto, giving him an update on the conversation. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kuroo</b>
</p><p>He says it’s okay, but you should probably check on him tonight or tomorrow after I leave. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bo:</b>
</p><p>What happened? Is he mad? I should have come with you, I’m sorry. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kuroo:</b>
</p><p>You have a game. I think he’s just mostly upset with me. He’ll be fine. Just check on him. I’ll head back on the first train tomorrow morning. We’re going to get food now. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bo:</b>
</p><p>You’re getting food? Like together?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kuroo:</b>
</p><p>Yeah, I’ll text you later. Night. Love you. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bo:</b>
</p><p>Love you too</p><hr/><p>Akaashi rolled over in bed and looked at his phone. Kuroo had dropped him off at his house the night before a little after 10:00 pm and he had slept in the next day. He noticed a few missed calls and text messages from Bokuto dancing around the subject, wanting to know how he was without prying too much. He had one message from Kuroo letting him know that he had taken the train back and would text him when he arrived home.</p><p>He thought about what Kuroo had said the night before, specifically about Akaashi not trying with him. He wondered if that were true if he had never had a connection with Kuroo. Akaashi <em>thought </em>that he tried, he liked Kuroo a lot. But maybe it was just that, he liked Kuroo. From the beginning, Kuroo said he knew how it would end and didn’t mind. Maybe that’s why he was able to walk away so quickly without trying to fix anything. Maybe it was like an omen or self-fulfilling prophecy, but it was Akaashi who allowed it to happen. If it was always meant to end, why did Akaashi feel so hurt? </p><p>Or maybe he and Bokuto were just too infatuated with one another and their feelings snuffed out anyone else like they allowed too much oxygen to a smoldering fire, overwhelming it. He loved Bokuto, he knew this. He didn’t want to admit it, but he would do anything for Bokuto if he asked. This was a man that stood above all others in his mind, the person that added joy into every crevice of his life. Akaashi didn’t have the name for the moments in between seconds, but even those parcels of time could be filled with thoughts of Bokuto. </p><p>Of course, this was never something he verbalized, he wasn’t sure if he should… could? Bokuto felt so profoundly and Akaashi worried that if he shared just a minuscule portion of his thoughts, he would send Bokuto running scared. He never wanted to overwhelm the other man with his emotions, but he always believed that Bokuto just knew how he felt. </p><p>Akaashi was interested in Kuroo because he wanted to try something different, something that needed work, effort. He had been infatuated with Bokuto the moment he laid eyes on him - he thought of Bokuto as a star as soon as he saw him and always sought the bright energy that surrounded the older man - but it was a bit different with Kuroo. </p><p>When they had met at Akaashi’s first training camp, he didn’t care much for Kuroo. He did recognize the captain’s obvious attractiveness: he was a little taller than Bokuto, leaner in build, and had a tight jawline that Akaashi found very appealing; he found himself wondering what it would be like to kiss that jawline as well as partake in other activities... He was also extremely intelligent in terms of his schoolwork, as well as in volleyball. Despite these exceedingly admirable qualities, Akaashi found Kuroo to be a bit arrogant, and frankly, annoying upon their first introductions.  </p><p>But, although he didn’t care for Kuroo in the beginning, he saw how Bokuto interacted with him - everything seemed so effortless. The two joked, talked about their lives, they shared secrets - things Akaashi didn’t even know about Bokuto - and they would sometimes stand so close or place a lingering touch on the others’ arm or back, it almost felt like they were flirting.<em> Almost</em>, Akaashi had convinced himself. </p><p>When he got to know Kuroo a little better, he understood that the arrogant qualities were just a facade and that Kuroo was quite genuine and honest. He knew how to lead his team and cared for them all deeply, even if they made fun of him for it. He liked the way that Kuroo and Bokuto could joke around and seemed to have their own language. After some thought, he seemed like the perfect person to try out this style of relationship with. </p><p>After a few months of dating Bokuto, he had an unsettling feeling that he could not describe. Akaashi loved Bokuto, but he wanted more. Everything was easy with the other man, but there were times when conversations went unmatched or there was an overwhelming need that Akaashi could not put his finger on. While Akaashi chose Bokuto, he didn’t choose monogamy and he wasn’t sure how to tell his partner that he was interested in pursuing another relationship. </p><p>When the idea of inviting Kuroo into their relationship struck him, it seemed like a good place to start. He could introduce the idea to Bokuto by using someone comfortable with the other man while allowing himself to explore his ideas around a different style of relationship. So what went wrong?</p><p>Akaashi’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. He wasn’t sure who it could have been since his parents would be gone for another week and they had not informed him of any maintenance services coming to the house while they were gone. The doorbell rang again, forcing him out of the comfort of his bed and downstairs. </p><p>“Coming,” he called out on his way to the door. “Hello?” he barely managed as arms flew around his shoulders and lips pressed against his. After a moment, recognition set in and he realized it was Bokuto in front of him. He pulled Bokuto inside and closed the door before pulling back from the kiss. </p><p>“Kou, what are you doing here? What if the neighbors saw and told my parents?”</p><p>“You didn’t return my messages,” Bokuto replied as if that was enough of an explanation for his sudden appearance. He placed another kiss on Akaashi’s lips and then his neck before moving all over his face in a goofy fashion causing him to giggle</p><p>“Kou… stop… haha. What are you doing here?” Akaashi managed between laughs. </p><p>“I told you already. You didn’t return my messages.”</p><p>“So you came all the way from university because I didn’t respond to your text messages? I was asleep. You didn’t come all this way just because I missed a few calls and texts.” Akaashi backed a little further away but stayed in Bokuto’s arms. “What’s going on, Kou?”</p><p>Bokuto looked a little anxious, and perhaps a bit guilty as well. He started to rub the back of his neck nervously and avoided eye contact before answering. “I wanted to see how you were doing. When you didn’t answer me, I thought you were really upset and… I didn’t know if you were mad at me. So I wanted to come to check on you to make sure you were doing okay and to make sure we were still… good?” he looked up at Akaashi on his last word question reverberating in his golden eyes that seemed to be a little duller than normal. Akaashi wondered if it was because he was worried that Kuroo’s breakup would have caused friction between the two of them. </p><p>“I’m fine, you don’t need to worry about me, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said, lowering his gaze. </p><p>“Hmm, okay,” Bokuto replied, placing his chin on Akaashi’s head. “Then why are you lying to me?” Akaashi felt his body go rigid in Bokuto’s arms. Against his wishes, he felt stinging behind his eyes and tried desperately to push the tears back, but failed as one spilled over and graced down his cheek followed by more until he began to properly cry. </p><p>“Let’s go sit down,” Boktuo said, guiding Akaashi to the living room. They sat down, Akaashi leaning into Bokuto’s shoulder as he continued to cry. Bokuto gently rubbed Akaashi’s back in a circular motion, lightly and soothingly, waiting patiently for the younger man to breathe and regain his composure. </p><p>After a few minutes, Akaashi sat up, closed his eyes, took a deep inhale through his nose, and exhaled slowly through his mouth. He opened his eyes to see Bokuto smiling softly, one hand still on his back and the other holding onto Akaashi’s hand, slowly rubbing his thumb back and forth across the knuckles. Akaashi smiled a little, he knew this was instinctive for Bokuto to prevent him from twisting his fingers</p><p>Bokuto would never pry, never ask for details, he knew that Akaashi would tell him if he wanted to, even if he could explain his thoughts. But he sat patiently for whatever Akaashi wanted next. Moving his hand from Akaashi’s back, Bokuto thumbed the remaining streaks from Akaashi’s face, letting his hand linger over the carved cheekbones for just a moment before leaning in for a soft kiss. </p><p>“He didn’t want to be with <em>me</em>,” Akaashi said when Bokuto pulled away. Bokuto waited. “He said, it felt like I wasn’t even trying with him. But…” Akaashi trailed off feeling more tears pricking the backs of his eyes. </p><p>“It’s okay, we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. It’s still pretty fresh, Ji. I mean, I guess this must have been your first breakup, huh?” Bokuto asked and then in a panic, “I’m sorry, that came out wrong, I just meant-”</p><p>“I tried, Kou. I did <em>try</em>. I know he doesn’t think I did, but it was different with Kuroo-san. I couldn’t stop myself from measuring him against you in every way. Conversations were harder than I thought they would be, intimacy, all of it. When I’m with you, it’s so easy.”</p><p>“What is?” </p><p>“<em> Everything </em>.” </p><p>Bokuto sucked in a small breath of air. Looking into the blue-green eyes, he saw nothing but sincerity and genuine love. He placed another soft kiss on Akaashi’s lips and tucked a black curl behind his ear. </p><p>“I love you, Keiji.” Bokuto waited, wanting to choose his next words wisely. He knew that Akaashi wasn’t feeling his best right now, and he never liked to push him too much. But there was something he needed to know, something he felt maybe Akaashi needed to know too. </p><p>“Can I ask you a question?” he carefully broached the subject. </p><p>“Of course,” Akaashi replied, leaning into Bokuto’s chest. He took a breath in and felt himself relax a little from the familiar scent of cotton and cedarwood, remembering the time he had gotten the cologne for Bokuto for his birthday. He had noticed the small bottle on Bokuto’s dresser one night when they were studying before Bokuto and Kuroo went to university. The bottle looked like it was near empty, so Akaashi studied it a little closer when Bokuto had gone to get them a snack. Part of it was selfish, he liked the scent himself and felt more at ease when he was around Bokuto and knew he had used the fragrance. He was also glad that Bokuto loved the gift and used it every day. </p><p>“Why did you pick Kuroo?” Bokuto asked, bringing Akaashi back to reality. Akaashi furrowed his brow, a little confused. </p><p>“I thought we talked about this before, Kou. Kuroo is one of your best friends, he’s a great person and since this is a new kind of relationship for both of us, it made sense for Kuroo to be the one we tried with.”</p><p>“Right, I know that’s what we talked about. But do you have feelings for Kuroo?” </p><p>Akaashi pulled slightly away from Bokuto’s chest to look into his eyes. There was no trace of anger or cunning, nothing to indicate he was trying to make Akaashi feel worse than he did. But the question made Akaashi’s stomach turn a little. </p><p>Bokuto continued, “It’s okay if you don’t, or didn’t, I’m not trying to make you out to be a bad guy or anything. But… if you didn’t like Kuroo in a romantic sense or sexual… it may have seemed like a forced connection between the two of you.” </p><p>“I wasn’t trying to force anything,” Akaashi said and regretted the defensive tone in his voice. He tried to make himself smaller, pull himself to the other side of the couch, but Bokuto held on to him. </p><p>“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to upset you. I can rephrase it,” Bokuto said thinking about his next words. “Remember when you first approached me about being interested in this kind of relationship - polygamy?”</p><p>“Polyamory.” </p><p>“Yeah, well, you said something about searching for connections in more than one place. I was fine with this because you assured me that you were happy with our conversations, the time we spent together, and sex and stuff.”</p><p>“Okay,” Akaashi said, half a question and half a confirmation. </p><p>“You and I started with a strong connection because we had feelings for each other, we love each other. So it works. But I don’t think you love Kuroo, not in that way. I think it just never synced between you two because he’s been <em>my </em>friend, and you chose him to make <em>me </em>comfortable with the idea,” Bokuto paused to see Akaashi’s reaction. His eyes spanned from right to left as if he was rereading every account he had ever had with Kuroo. </p><p>“Okay,” Akaashi urged Bokuto to continue. </p><p>“If you wanting to try with Kuroo first was to make me more comfortable, and you’re focused on what I want, are <em> you </em>getting what you need?” Akaashi thought through Bokuto’s words. It made sense: he was so determined to try a different relationship style, one that he was sure would help him in so many facets of his life, that he may have forgotten his actual needs in the process to sway Bokuto. </p><p>Kuroo probably noticed that something didn’t match up early on, but maybe learned of his feelings for Bokuto and didn’t want to throw that away, knowing that Bokuto would have chosen Akaashi over him. </p><p>“Kuroo-san probably hates me, huh?” Akaashi said quietly. “I’m surprised this didn’t happen sooner.”</p><p>“He doesn’t hate you,” Bokuto replied, pulling Akaashi back closer to him. “I think he just never felt like he was part of a relationship with the three of us. You can’t force yourself to have feelings for someone and neither of you clicked with each other. Except with sex. The sex was <em> good </em>.”</p><p>“Kou!” Akaashi snorted out a laugh, smacking Bokuto on the shoulder. </p><p>“What? I’m just being honest, I’m going to miss it,” Bokuto joked. “But seriously, if… when you find another person, it will be someone you care about and if you want to include me in that relationship, that’s great. But if you want to explore more of an open relationship - I read that in one of those articles you sent me in high school - we can try that too.”</p><p>Akaashi sat himself up on Bokuto’s lap, placing his knees on either side of the other’s hips. He wrapped his arms around Bokuto’s neck and hugged him tightly, burying his face into his neck. </p><p>“I love you, Koutaro,” he whispered. </p><p>“I love you, too.”</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>Akaashi rolled over, reaching for his glasses from the nightstand. He pulled back the covers, feeling the cool air on his skin. As he turned to move from the bed, he felt an arm wrap around his waist, pulling him back. </p><p>“We’ve been in bed almost all day,” Akaashi said. He felt Bokuto’s lips grazing along his neck and shoulder, then moving to his ear. </p><p>“Don’t care,” Bokuto replied, his lips around Akaashi’s earlobe. He pulled Akaashi closer to him, the heat of his chest and the scent of cotton and cedarwood making Akaashi relax into his touch. </p><p>“I have work to do for class and some assignments to grade, we should really get out of bed.”</p><p>“But it’s Saturday, you can grade papers tomorrow. And I missed having you here last night.” Akaashi felt a little twinge of guilt in his stomach. After their conversation when Akaashi got back from dropping Y/N back home, he decided to spend the day with Bokuto, knowing it was a rare occasion when his coach offered rest days. They spent most of it naked and wrapped around each other with small breaks for food, but Akaashi still wanted Bokuto to know how much he valued him in their relationship. </p><p>“Fine, I can grade papers tomorrow. But you have to promise me you won’t be distracting. I have a paper I need to work on for my poetry class.”</p><p>“Why do you have to write papers for your poetry class? You don’t just write poems?”</p><p>“No,” Akaashi said as he smiled and curled into Bokuto, laying his head on his chest. “It’s about analyzing the work.” </p><p>“Hm.” They laid in the quiet for a bit, legs twining, breath slow and calm. The fragrance from their last session was nearly dissipated and all that was left was the scent of cedar and rain lingering from their skin. “Did you text her at all?” Bokuto asked, his voice small, careful. </p><p>“A little. We’ll probably set something up next week, maybe.” </p><p>“Oh.” </p><p>Akaashi sat up, untangling himself from Bokuto, and turned to look at the other man. “I’ll tell her, I promise.” He leaned down, placing his hands on either side of Bokuto’s head for support, and kissed him softly. Bokuto wrapped his arms around Akaashi and pulled him close so that he was lying on his chest, their skin still a little tacky with sweat. </p><p>“Okay, I trust you.” Bokuto ran his hands lazily down Akaashi’s back and placed them on his butt, squeezing gently and working his way to the hole. Akaashi let out a small moan of appreciation, reaching down to Bokuto’s member and running his thumb over the tip. Bokuto sucked in a breath at the contact, “It’s still sensitive, Ji.” </p><p>“It’s been like, a half an hour,” Akaashi laughed. </p><p>“Don’t tease me,” Bokuto pouted a little. He leaned forward to kiss Akaashi, removing his glasses and placing them back on the nightstand. “I’ll just take care of you,” Bokuto said as he turned quickly, pinning Akaashi under him before kissing his neck and moving downward. He stopped at one of Akaashi’s nipples, teasing one with his tongue and lightly pinching the other. </p><p>“Fuck,” Akaashi breathed out, his back arched and head falling back on the pillow to look up at the ceiling. The hand that had been working his nipple disappeared and reemerged on his cock, Bokuto’s fingertips tracing up and down the length too lightly for Akaashi’s liking. </p><p>Akaashi propped himself up on his elbows and pushed the comforter onto the floor to allow more space. He watched as Bokuto slowly kissed and sucked down his body, leaving small traces of himself behind in the form of reddish marks that would become purple bruises. </p><p><em> It’s a form of insurance</em>, Akaashi thought to himself. A way to ensure he kept his promise to tell Y/N about everything and begin a relationship as open and honest as possible. It would be hard, they already started dishonestly, but he couldn’t lose Bokuto again and he knew he had feelings for Y/N. </p><p>Akaashi felt warm lips graze over his member as Bokuto pushed his legs open for easier access to his entrance and placed himself on Akaashi’s left side. Bokuto grabbed the half-empty bottle of lube from the floor, pouring a generous amount on his middle and pointer fingers. He circled Akaashi’s entrance for a moment, looking up for approval. Akaashi nodded and Bokuto slowly inserted both fingers, caressing Akaashi’s walls until he reached the knuckle.</p><p>He used his free hand to begin stroking Akaashi and then began to pump his fingers at the same speed. Akaashi felt his breath quicken and heat build inside of him. He looked at Bokuto, so attentive and focused on his work. He loved everything about him. </p><p>“Another… please,” Akaashi said between breaths. Bokuto obliged, releasing Akaashi for a moment to add a bit of lube to his ring finger before teasing it into the hole to join the other two. Once he built back his rhythm, Bokuto changed tactics, taking Akaashi in his mouth and making steady movements with his tongue to try to complement his working hand. </p><p>“Ah… Kou… mmm,” Akaashi moaned feeling the heat build more and more until he knew his release was imminent. “I’m going to come.” Bokuto took him deeper, hitting the back of his throat causing Akaashi to let out a low moan. He picked up the pace, now using both hands to pump at a vigorous pace. </p><p>It took a few more minutes until Akaashi came over the top of Bokuto’s hand and onto his stomach. Bokuto slowed his pace, letting Akaashi fully ride out his orgasm before stopping and pulling his fingers out. </p><p>Akaashi looked down at the mess of Bokuto’s bed, hand, and his own stomach, but more importantly, at Bokuto looking at him as if he had just won the lottery. “What are you staring at?” </p><p>“You’re really beautiful, y’know?” Bokuto leaned forward to give Akaashi a deep kiss before moving back to his knees. Akaashi felt a shudder of desire flush through him as he watched Bokuto drag his tongue through his abs, licking cum from his stomach. </p><p>“That’s really hot,” Akaashi said, propping himself up on his elbow. “Why don’t we take a shower and then I can take care of you, too.”</p><p>“Sounds good to me.” Bokuto moved from the bed, pulling Akaashi up and pushing him in front. He kissed him on the neck and shoulders as they walked into the bathroom together. </p><p>Akaashi loved every moment he had with Bokuto. He knew they would eat dinner and watch a movie after their shower. They would sleep in Akaashi’s bed and wake up in each other’s arms and kiss the other until someone made a move to get up and put on the coffee. Bokuto would go to the gym while Akaashi worked on grading his papers and then, eventually, his own classwork. And they would end the day with dinner, maybe some more sex, and then bed. </p><p>These moments were reliable and good. Akaashi wanted more. He knew he had to tell Y/N and figure out what their future looked like, and how Bokuto would fit into that. For now, he felt calm as he lathered shampoo in Bokuto’s hair and admired the way the suds cascaded down his body under the water. Later, he would keep his word.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for the comments and kudos! Please reach out with any feedback, I am always willing to try something new!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Contact</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>You scooted closer to him and took one of his hands. “You don’t have to tell me what it is right now, especially if it’s making you this nervous. And we don’t even have to have sex right now, we can wait. But whatever it is, I’m fine with it. I mean, whatever it is you’re not ready to tell me, I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal.” You ran your thumb soothingly over his knuckles and waited for him to respond. After a few moments, he let out a long sigh and kissed your forehead. </p><p>“We can talk about it another time, but please… just promise me you’ll keep an open mind?”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Quite a bit of sexual content in this chapter, just as a heads up! Thank you for the reads, kudos, and comments! I love reading them and responding!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I probably won’t be home tonight, so don’t wait up for me,” you called pulling your shoe on at the front door of your apartment. </p><p>“Going to be staying with Akaashi-san tonight?” your roommate asked, smiling. Her boyfriend had already arrived and was lounging on the couch with his feet on the coffee table. He never took off his shoes. </p><p>“Yeah, I packed a bag so I’ll probably spend the night and be back sometime tomorrow afternoon. I think we’re going to a museum tomorrow.” You heard the buzz from the call box indicating that Akaashi had arrived. </p><p>“I can buzz him in,” your roommate said pressing the button on the wall. You looked over your items and made a mental note of everything to make sure nothing was forgotten: keys, purse, clothes, cellphone, and makeup. You had left some essentials at Akaashi and Bokuto’s apartment ever since you and Akaashi had begun seeing one another regularly - about two months now - which made it easier to spend the nights. </p><p><em> But tonight is going to be the night, </em>you thought to yourself. You and Akaashi had gotten very close over time - you’ve even heard him laugh, like a real laugh, not the polite one he used in front of others. But, every time you two began to make out or get worked up, he would pull back, continuing to say, “not tonight.” You hadn’t even seen him naked - technically, you’ve seen more of Bokuto’s body than Akaashi’s since the man tended to walk across the apartment in very little clothing, especially after his showers. </p><p>Part of you was happy that he had been a gentleman and never pushed himself on you, but you also worried that maybe he was not interested in you in that way. But at the same time, you knew that could not be the case. He definitely wanted you too as evidenced by his hands lingering on your thigh or the way he would kiss the shell of your ear after whispering something sweet. </p><p>Tonight, it was <em>going </em>to happen. If not, you would ask for an explanation. Maybe he was a virgin and wanted to wait until marriage. Or he was asexual and not interested in sex (probably not). Regardless of the reason, part of you felt bad pushing yourself on him if he wasn’t ready for that step. </p><p>You heard a knock on indicating that Akaashi had made his way up the four flights of stairs. You opened the door and saw him standing in his dress shirt and slacks as if he had bounded up the stairs effortlessly. It must have been his leftover athleticism from high school. </p><p>“Hello,” he smiled. He nodded to your roommate as well and exchanged a few pleasantries. “I can grab your bag for you,” he said, taking the backpack and placing it on his shoulder and then extending his hand for yours. You took it, waved goodbye to your roommate, and headed down the stairs. </p><p>As usual, after dinner, you headed back to Akaashi’s apartment. Bokuto was sitting on the couch, one foot in a trash can, sipping on a beer. He greeted you both when you entered. </p><p>“Rough day?” you asked laughing a little. </p><p>“Nah, my muscles are just really tight in my calves right now so I’m doing some ice buckets. We don’t have a bin big enough for both my legs, though.” </p><p>“Bathtub?” </p><p>“Not enough ice. ‘Kashi won’t let me buy an ice maker.”</p><p>“Make sure to roll your muscles out before bed, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said, ignoring the comment and walking toward his bedroom. You gave Bokuto a shrug and followed after him. You felt Bokuto’s eyes following you as you left the living room.</p><p>“Do you want to watch a movie tonight?” he asked. He set your bag down next to his desk and began to unbutton his shirt. You took a deep breath and decided to make a move quickly. </p><p>“Let me help you with that,” you said as you walked over to him and began to work on one of his shirt buttons. He smiled at you and let your hands work. Once all the buttons were undone, you slid the shirt off his shoulders and let it drop to the floor. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself up to meet him for a kiss. </p><p>Akaashi placed his hands on your hips and pulled you in closer, your bodies pressed against each other as the kiss grew deeper. You let your tongue trace over his lips, looking for entry but to no avail - he was going to make this tough for you. You fisted one of your hands into his hair and gave it a pull earning a small gasp, enough for you to work your way into his mouth. </p><p>You let your hand card through his hair before moving it to rest on his hand which was placed on your hip. You redirected his hand to your breast - and now the plan would really begin. He began to knead your breast in his hand as you moved yours to his bare chest. After a few moments, you heard a hum from deep in his throat and when you opened your eyes, you were met with his suspicious blue/green ones. </p><p>He pulled away slightly, just an inch from your face, “You’re not wearing a bra.” It wasn’t a question. You could feel your nipple growing harder at the friction between the material of the dress and the motion of his hand. And now Akaashi could feel it too, hopefully, enticing him to finally uncover what was hiding under your clothes. </p><p>“This dress looks better without one,” you said as innocently as possible. “Otherwise, there are a bunch of lines and it ruins the allusion.” </p><p>“Uh huh,” he murmured, still looking at you with narrowed eyes. You pulled him back in to resume the kiss, hoping that he would understand the implications without pulling away. He returned the kiss slowly and then was back into it fully. He began to walk you over to the bed with him and sat you on his lap without breaking the kiss.</p><p>Akaashi, now knowing about your lack of undergarments, decided to focus on your breast more. He began to rub the tender bud with his middle finger slowly until it became visible through the fabric of the dress. He then pinched it lightly between his middle finger and thumb, pulling on it slightly causing your breath to hitch. </p><p>You moved your hands down his torso, feeling the tight muscles of his chest before skimming your fingers over the grooves of his abs. You then moved your hand lower, testing at first, as you grazed lightly over the hem of his pants, letting a finger brush along the inside. When he didn’t say anything, you moved to his belt and began to unfasten the buckle before he took your hand in his and drew it away. He pulled slowly from the kiss, breathing a little harder than normal, and opened his eyes to look at you. </p><p>“Babe… not…”</p><p>“Tonight.” You finished his sentence moving off his lap and onto the bed. You folded your knees up to your chest and looked down at the comforter on the bed, not wanting to make eye contact with Akaashi. You were so sure it was going to happen, but it seemed like he was not interested in that kind of relationship with you.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he started, turning toward you and sitting fully on the bed. “It’s just-”</p><p>“Akaashi, am I doing something wrong? Are you just not into this?”</p><p>“No, it’s nothing like that. It’s, um, it’s a bit more complicated than that.” He carded his hand through his hair trying to find the right words to explain his feelings. </p><p>“Are you, maybe, asexual? If you are, that’s fine. I don’t want to keep putting pressure on you to do things that you don’t want to do.” </p><p>“No, I’m not-”</p><p>“Then it’s just me,” you said looking up to meet his eyes. “It’s something with me? You don’t want to have sex with <em> me </em>?”</p><p>He paused for a moment, a brief flicker of pain in his eyes as if relieving a sad memory. “I do. God, I do. I um… There’s something else and I don’t want you to think it’s weird, but I don’t want to explain it right now because things are pretty good with us.” You looked at him a little confused. He was usually pretty eloquent with his words, but he was stumbling now. “I’m not making any sense at all, am I?” He looked flustered and a bit nervous, much more expression on his face than you were used to. </p><p>You scooted closer to him and took one of his hands. “You don’t have to tell me what it is right now, especially if it’s making you this nervous. And we don’t even have to have sex right now, we can wait. But whatever it is, I’m fine with it. I mean, whatever it is you’re not ready to tell me, I’m sure it’s not that big of a deal.” You ran your thumb soothingly over his knuckles and waited for him to respond. After a few moments, he let out a long sigh and kissed your forehead. </p><p>“We can talk about it another time, but please… just promise me you’ll keep an open mind?” </p><p>“I will,” you said, blinking at him. “And we don’t have to do anything tonight. Another time.” </p><p>Was it that bad? Was he keeping some hidden secret that has scared so many others off before? You went to go stand from the bed just to have him pull you back down and toward his chest. You peeked up at him. His expression had changed from one of nervousness to hunger. </p><p>“I didn’t say we needed to wait,” he said, placing a kiss on your neck. “I mean, as long as you’re still interested, that is.”</p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>He smiled and began to lift you from the bed to change your positions, his back against the pillows and headboard and you straddling him. You wrapped your arms around his neck once again and resumed your exploration of his mouth, this time, with no resistance. He ran his hands down your sides and then took hold of the backs of your thighs. He ran his fingers over the fabric of your pantyhose and hummed in appreciation at the friction. </p><p>“It seems like you have a thing with tights, huh?” you teased. He smiled up at you before laying a kiss on your jaw and then your neck. </p><p>He pulled your thighs forward forcing you to sit up a little - you grabbed the headboard for support and glanced down to see his mouth working its way down your chest. He spent time kissing and licking your nipples through your dress and you moaned at the sensation of his mouth and the material of the dress rubbing against you. </p><p>“That would be easier if this dress wasn’t in the way,” you said looking down at him. He paused his movements and smiled before dragging one hand along your back up to the zipper of the dress and pulling it down. With both hands, he pulled the ends apart, ghosting over your back with his fingertips before bringing the straps down your arms letting the dress hang at your hips.</p><p>You watched as he bit on his lower lip, sitting back against the headboard and taking in your exposed breasts. Akaashi then lifted his eyes to meet your gaze and you pulled his chin up to meet yours for a bruising kiss. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you in tighter and as he pulled away, he looked up at you, still sitting above him, and he gave a polite smile. </p><p>He then moved to your breast in front of him with his mouth. You wrapped a hand into his hair, enjoying the new sensation of his tongue swirling around your nipple while he rolled the other one between his fingers. Even with the pleasure you were experiencing from just foreplay, you noticed Akaashi begin to grow hard. </p><p>You pulled back and moved off the bed, laughing as a surprised Akaashi began to frown slightly at your disappearance. He stood up from the bed and moved to you, kissing your neck and jaw. You made your way to his belt once more before his hand stopped you - not this again. </p><p>“I’ll do that,” he breathed, pulling away from the kiss. “I want to watch you undress,” he whispered, taking a few steps back. </p><p>He stood a couple of paces away and began to work on his belt and then soon his pants were tossed to the side. You admired the bulge in his trunks and began to work on removing the rest of your dress, sliding it slowly down your hips until it fell to the floor. </p><p>You heard a small gasp and smiled knowing that you had elicited the reaction you had planned for. Standing up straight, you looked fully at Akaashi who was staring at you, his hand in his waistband as he had stopped midway through undressing once he saw your nearly naked form. </p><p>“You’re… not wearing… underwear either?” he stammered, not removing his gaze. You walked over to him and placed your fingers in the waistband of his trunks.</p><p>“I’ll get these,” you said, moving them down his legs and allowing him to step out. You tossed the garment to the side and looked up to admire his length standing tall against his stomach. Like him, his member was long, slender, and lean and had a slight curve to the left near the top. </p><p>As you stood up, you wrapped your hand around him and began slow, fluid pumps, eliciting shallower breaths to escape Akaashi’s lips. He pulled you in for a kiss as you continued to stroke him, pre-cum starting to bead at his tip. </p><p>He moved his hand down your side and placed his middle finger at the top of your sex. He circled his fingers a few times before you took a step out, opening your legs and allowing him full access. </p><p>“You’re already wet,” he murmured into your mouth. He pushed his fingers more, straining against the fabric of your pantyhose, and worked both your opening and your clitoris. You moaned into his mouth, your hips grinding against his fingers, your hand pumping faster now to match his speed. </p><p>He then pulled the fingers away and stepped back from the kiss, you pouted at him with the loss of sensation. He smirked at you and placed one hand on yours, bringing your motions to a stop, and brought his other hand up to his lips. He stuck his fingers in his mouth and let them drag along his tongue before pulling them out. </p><p>“I want to taste you,” he said, walking you over to the bed. He removed his glasses and placed them on the desk next to the end of the bed. </p><p>“Are you going to be able to see without those?” you chuckled a little.</p><p>“I’ll be able to see you well enough.” </p><p>He laid you down and then placed himself at the end of the bed, looking up at you through your legs. You suddenly felt a little self-conscious having him so close to your lower half and looked away with a slight blush. </p><p>You felt the bed dip under his weight and then he was hovering over you. He gently turned your face to look at him and placed a kiss on your forehead and then your lips. “What’s wrong?” He asked, placing kisses along your cheeks, jaw, neck, any exposed skin. </p><p>“Nothing,” you said. Not quite meeting his eyes. He stopped what he was doing and looked very intently at you. </p><p>“We can stop if you want. We can stop at any time.”</p><p>“I feel like that’s what I said to you earlier,” you laughed. </p><p>“Well, it goes both ways. I want you to enjoy this, and if you’re not, we can do something else. We have plenty of time to have sex.” He smiled and placed another kiss on your cheek. </p><p>“I want to,” you said. He watched you for a moment, as if he was waiting for you to change your mind, and then proceeded to lay kisses down your cheeks and then moved onto your neck. You took a sharp breath in as you felt his teeth below your collarbone. He bit lightly and then sucked and kissed, leaving little marks as he went. </p><p>He made his way down to your hips, right at the top of your pantyhose, and he kissed both hip bones through the material. You moved your hands to rid yourself of the garment when he stopped you. You looked down a little confused. </p><p>“Keep them on,” he said, his voice dripping with hunger. He looked up at you and smirked before lowering himself directly between your legs. He positioned your legs over his shoulders as he laid down and placed kisses on your thighs until he reached his target. You drew in a quick breath at the feeling of his lips up against you, gently kissing your sex before trailing his tongue across your lips and up to your most sensitive area. </p><p>You squirmed with each movement of his tongue as it pressed the fabric against you. He moved between your lips, dipped his tongue into your opening (as much as he could with the pantyhose in the way), and worked his way back to your clitoris. You felt the tension build in your stomach, but the fabric prevented you from reaching a release. </p><p>“Akaashi,” you breathed out, grinding your hips against his mouth to try and to find more pleasure. He looked up to you and seemed to understand your plea. He gave a few final swipes with his tongue before pushing himself up and untangling himself from your legs. </p><p>He moved from the bed and walked to his bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a condom and a small bottle of lube. You propped yourself up on your elbows to watch him as he opened the foil packet and rolled the condom over his length. He bent down to kiss you, giving you a small taste of yourself in the process, his hand giving his member a few pumps before settling between your legs. </p><p>He leaned over, kissing and sucking at your skin and letting his hands roam from your hips to your breasts. You then heard the rip and looked down to see him tearing your pantyhose, the hole stretching from below your belly button to your backside, leaving you completely exposed. </p><p>“I could have taken those off,” you said, laughing slightly. </p><p>“I told you that I want you to keep them on,” he said in a serious tone. “But they were also in my way.” He then slid his middle and forefinger inside of you, painfully slow, and began to curl them, caressing your walls. He used the thumb on his other hand to rub circles around your clitoris. You rode your hips against his hands before you looked up to him and whined. </p><p>“Akaashi, please..” </p><p>“Yes?” he said smiling. “What do you want?”</p><p>“Ah… I want… you.” </p><p>“You want me to what, exactly? Use your words baby.” His hands continued at a relentless pace and he looked down at you with hooded eyes. </p><p>“I want you to fuck me, please.” He smiled and pulled his fingers out, leaving you empty and longing for something to fill the void. Akaashi shifted and moved between your legs, leaning over you on his forearms to kiss you gently before moving his way down your neck and to the rest of your body; you could feel his erection rubbing against you and found yourself pushing slightly against it for some friction. </p><p>He finally seated himself between your legs, positioning his length at your entrance, and began to slowly tease you. You felt him push slightly against your opening, testing and then pulling back. He looked up at you, a question in his eyes. You nodded at him and mouthed a “please” before he started to enter. </p><p>You begin to feel full, his cock stretching you as he moved deeper. After a few moments, you felt his hips against your legs as he hovered over you and began to kiss you affectionately. You felt like you could feel him in your stomach, he was so long. You returned his kisses while trying to adjust to him being inside of you, and placed your hands on his back. </p><p>“You can move,” you whispered, a little impatient, waiting for him to pick up the pace he started with his fingers. He turned his head to look at you and smirked before moving and sitting back on his knees. He placed both hands on your hips as he elevated you up along his lap, the change in position caused you to moan as you could feel him pressing deeper inside you. He smiled. </p><p>“You ready?” he asked, looking at you through long lashes.</p><p>“Yes… please… fuck me,” you gasped out. He slowly, torturously, pulled out, right to the tip, and then lingered for a moment before thrusting quickly back in. You yelped out at the sudden movement, but he didn’t allow enough time for you to catch your breath as he continued at a relentless pace. </p><p>He controlled your movements, holding your hips, and moving them to match his thrusts. You looked at his eyes, noticing they didn’t seem focused on anything in particular; they were glazed over in lust, he let out shallow pants, but his pace never faltered. </p><p>You placed your hands on his grasping onto your hips, causing him to lock eyes with you and slow down a little. You pulled him closer so that he shifted his position and balanced his weight on his forearms above you and began to kiss your neck lightly.  You ran your hands through his hair and pulled his face back to you and kissed him deeply, small moans escaping from your lips. </p><p>After a moment, he pulled from the kiss to look at you, a question in his eyes. You kissed him lightly on the nose and ran your hands over his arms. He felt so good: the lithe muscles of his forearms and biceps, the way he tasted, and the deep thrusts bringing you pleasure with each movement. </p><p>“Can I try something?” he whispered, taking you by surprise. His voice was soft, unsure, not matching his movements which were precise and intentional.</p><p>“Um, sure?” </p><p>“Don’t worry, if you don’t like it, I’ll stop.” He pulled out causing you to feel empty. “Can you turn on your stomach?” </p><p>“Sure,” you breathed and complied. He pulled your hips up close to him and began to kiss the back of your thighs, still covered in tattered pantyhose. His hand worked to your ass, kneading the flesh gently as you could feel his tongue trace along your thighs and then to your cheek. </p><p>You felt a little red blush cross your cheeks at the thought of being on full display and vulnerable to Akaashi’s touch. You moaned softly as he began to suck gently at your thighs and ass, biting a little bit in some places. He then placed hands on both sides of your ass, spreading you apart. Before you could say anything, you felt his tongue caress over the hole lightly. Your breath hitched for a moment as you registered his working tongue moving in circles over the hole. It felt… weird? Good? You weren’t sure, but you knew you didn’t want him to stop?</p><p>“Is this alright?” he asked, pulling slightly away from you, you could still feel his breath against your skin. </p><p>“Mhm,” you managed, keeping your eyes forward, feeling slightly embarrassed as if you didn’t <em>want </em>to admit how good it felt. </p><p>Akaashi pulled farther away, leaned forward, and reached a hand out to your face, his long arm ghosting along your body. “If you don’t like it, I can stop.” </p><p>You kept your eyes down and felt the heat grow more on your face and down your neck. “I don’t want you to stop,” you whispered. Recognition registered in Akaashi’s eyes as he smiled coyly and moved back to continue his work. </p><p>His tongue worked expertly, moving in circles and quick flicks against the tight muscle. You felt him place both thumbs firmly on either side of your hole and pull slowly, opening you more. He dipped his tongue inside you, reaching a different place of pleasure altogether. It was different, but not bad. </p><p>You heard the sound of a cap opening and realized Akaashi had opened the bottle of lube. You turned your head slightly to see what he was doing but did not get much from your current angle. You then felt a finger against your hole, slick with lube, testing. </p><p>“Is this okay?” he asked. Did he plan to stick one of his fingers inside you? His long beautiful finger in your ass? You felt a little weird about it, but also slightly intrigued. Was this the thing Akaashi was nervous about? He was into anal or other ass play? Or maybe this was a build-up and he was going to want you to peg him? Maybe he liked this too and hoped you would eat him out someday? You wondered if you would be able to do that. The image of you, face deep in Akaashi’s ass or wearing a strapon and Akaashi lying under you flashed into your mind, and you couldn’t help the sudden wave of arousal. </p><p>“Y/N? Did you hear me?” You snapped out of your vision and turned your head to look back at Akaashi. He had been massaging your hole and putting slight pressure but waited for your confirmation before going any further. </p><p>“Yeah, just um… go slow.” You dreaded how cheesy that sounded, like a stereotypical virgin in a rom-com. But he nodded at you and slowly pushed the finger in. It felt like your body was fighting it a little, not used to the foreign object, but you slowly started to relax. You felt his palm cup against you and realized his finger must have been all the way in. He placed a kiss along your back and slowly began to pull the digit out. </p><p>He continued this, slowly pulling and pushing his finger back in, and eventually began stroking your clit with his other hand at the same time. The stimulation from multiple places felt good. You bit down on the moans coming from your throat. </p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked. </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>After a few minutes - or maybe hours, you had lost track of time with how good it felt, Akaashi fingering your ass and clit - he moved back to his original position between your legs, but this time, from behind.</p><p>You heard the sound of the bottle of lube again and tried to look behind you from your current position. He had replaced his original condom with a new one and added some lube to his member. After giving it a few pumps, he lined himself up to your entrance and slowly entered back in. </p><p>The full feeling felt amazing, you let out a deep moan as he pushed himself deeper inside of you. Eventually, his hips were pressed up against you as he supported himself right above you, his chest grazing your back. You turned your head and were met with a long, deep kiss. He began to pump again and you moaned into Akaashi’s mouth. </p><p>You pulled away, burying your face in the sheets of the bed. You could feel him kiss along your shoulders and back until he sat up, grabbing either side of your hips, and began to move quicker and pulling you into his thrusts. </p><p>“Fu...uck,” you moaned into the bedding as the change in position allowed for new spots of pleasure to be reached. You felt one of Akaashi’s hands move in between your legs and he began to gently work your clit with his middle finger. </p><p>You could feel the heat building in your belly as you grew closer to hitting your climax. Your moans were uncontrollable now as Akaashi’s thrusts seemed to hit deeper and deeper each time. </p><p>“I’m close,” you managed between pants. </p><p>He lowered himself so you could feel his chest pressing against your back as he continued to move. He stopped his hand as he supported himself just above you and began to kiss your shoulder, neck, and back, eventually moving up to your ear. </p><p>He kissed and licked gently over the shell before whispering, “Come for me, baby.” You lost it as you felt yourself clench around him as the pleasure spilled over. You cried out a garbled version of his name and collapsed on the bed. </p><p>Lost in your own sensation, you were vaguely aware that he had pulled out and had removed the condom. You turned your head back to see him pumping himself a few times before reaching his own orgasm; you watched as his cock shot out strings of semen that landed on your ass and lower back. </p><p>You laid on the bed quietly as he finished riding out his orgasm, his hand slowing and then falling from his cock. He turned to look at you, a slight look of pleasure mixed with embarrassment on his face as he slowed his breathing. </p><p>“Sorry, I should have asked first,” he said, not quite meeting your eyes, but looking more at the mess on your backside. </p><p>“It’s fine. I kind of like watching you come.” He laughed a little before moving forward to kiss your cheek. He stood from the bed and walked out of the room briefly. You admired his naked form as he seemed to glide across the room. </p><p>At that moment, the realization hit as you remembered Akaashi had a roommate. Did Bokuto hear you? Would he say something the next day about this? You felt a little panicky when you saw Akaashi walk back into the room with a wet towel and also realized he had just roamed around the apartment with no clothes on, his cock still half-hard. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” </p><p>“Do you think Bokuto heard us?” </p><p>“Maybe,” he said nonchalantly as he cleaned your backside gently and removed what was left of your pantyhose. “It’s fine, it's not like I haven’t heard him before.” </p><p>You turned over to look at him, still horror-stricken at the thought that Bokuto may have heard your moans and the sound of your orgasm. “What if he says something? What if he thinks you’re a bad roommate now? What if he saw you going to the bathroom naked? I can’t be responsible for ruining a friendship!”</p><p>Akaashi laughed lightly at the sudden panic as he grabbed a t-shirt and some shorts to throw to you before pulling on a pair of sweats himself. “Bokuto and I have known each other for a <em> very </em>long time. We have already seen each other naked and we know more about the other than is necessary. If this was the ending of our friendship, then it must have not been a very study one, to begin with. Don’t worry.” </p><p>You pulled on the clothes he offered, but you continued to pout a little. “I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll be here,” he said, moving to sit under the covers of the bed. </p><p>As you walked to the bathroom, you turned to look toward Bokuto’s door. His light was on, which meant he was most likely awake and probably heard you and Akaashi. You decided to use the bathroom and wash your face as quickly as possible to try to avoid any contact with Bokuto. </p><p>No such luck. As you left the bathroom, you saw him in the kitchen standing toward the stove, his back to you. He was making tea as evidenced by the mug on the island and the kettle that began to whistle. He turned to pour the water into the mug and caught a glimpse of you and looked up. </p><p>His face looked slightly flushed, a little red under his eyes, and a sheen of sweat graced his exposed shoulders in his muscle shirt. You locked eyes for just a moment before he looked back down at his tea, his lips pulled into a thin line. </p><p>You turned and quickly made your way back to Akaashi’s room. He pulled back the covers on the bed and motioned for you to join him. You snuggled close into his chest, but as you fell asleep, you worried about leaving a bad impression on Bokuto and he didn’t seem very happy to see you a moment ago. You even had a dream that you heard the two arguing about something, but couldn’t hear what they were saying. </p><p>You woke up the next morning and reached out to the other side of the bed, only to feel a cold, empty space. You opened your eyes and noticed that Akaashi was gone. As you sat up, you took in the smell of something greasy and moved out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. </p><p>Akaashi stood at the stove, sweatpants sitting perfectly on his hips, still shirtless from the night before, and was cooking something. He must have heard the sound of the door closing behind you because he turned to look at you and smiled softly. </p><p>“Good morning,” he said. “I’ll have some food ready in just a second. There’s coffee ready if you want some.” </p><p>“It smells good,” you replied walking over to the coffee pot and pulling out a mug from the cabinet above. You filled it up and then moved next to Akaashi to see what he was cooking. You looked up when you noticed he had his eyes on you and you both met for a kiss. </p><p>You leaned into the kiss for a bit, placing a hand on Akaashi’s neck. You pushed for a little more but were pulled away from the moment by the sound of a thud, like something hitting the floor. You looked toward the sound and saw Bokuto in his practice gear, a large gym bag on the ground. </p><p>“Good morning,” he said dryly, not in his usual peppy tone. You noticed that he was actively avoiding eye contact with you as he moved into the kitchen to grab a protein bar from one of the cabinets. </p><p>“Good morning, Bokuto,” you replied, cheerfully. He walked back to his bag, placing the opened protein bar in his mouth, and then moved to pull on his shoes. “Do you have a long day of practice?” you asked, uncomfortable with the obvious tension. </p><p>“Yup.” You weren’t used to Bokuto being so short with you, he was always happy and talkative, even in the morning. But this morning, he seemed a bit off, cold even. </p><p>“You should eat something,” Akaashi stated. Bokuto continued to put his shoes on and then stood.</p><p>“I don’t have a very big appetite this morning.” You felt awkward standing in the kitchen noticing obvious agitation between Akaashi and Bokuto. Akaashi turned slightly away from the food, giving Bokuto a look of annoyance.</p><p>“If you don’t eat something, you’ll regret it midway through practice.” </p><p>“Yeah,” Bokuto muttered, finishing with his shoe and standing.  </p><p>“Well, I hope you have a good practice. I’m sure you’ll do great.” </p><p>“Maybe, maybe not. I’m a little tired. It took me a while to fall asleep last night.” You bit down on your lip knowing that he must have heard you and Akaashi last night and was upset about the noise. You looked up to see Akaashi had now turned his full attention to Bokuto and looked irritated. Neither of them spoke, but the tension was palpable. </p><p>And then Bokuto left without another word. You took a deep breath, realizing that you had been holding in your oxygen. </p><p>“Sorry about that. He’ll get over it.” </p><p>“I told you he would hear us,” you said, smacking Akaashi’s shoulder playfully. “How am I supposed to face him now?” </p><p>Akaashi turned to you, pulling the breakfast off the burner and turning it off. He picked you up and set you on the counter next to him and placed himself between your legs. You yipped and tried not to spill your coffee as he lifted you, but then placed a kiss on his lips once you settled. </p><p>“Maybe you’ll just have to show him what he’s missing. Then he won’t be so annoyed when he sees for himself how good it is. He’ll be more appreciative of the work you’re doing.” You scoffed at Akaashi, at his implication of you hooking up with his roommate, and then pulled him in for another kiss. </p><p>“Yeah, sure. I’ll get right on that.” </p><p>“Good, when are you free? I’ll schedule you in for an appointment when he stops sulking.”</p><p>“Akaashi!”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>When you write a self-indulgent chapter because... why not? Things will be a little spicy moving forward. Feel free to reach out with any suggestions or comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Firsts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>...Akaashi closed the distance and captured Bokuto’s lips, need taking over his movements as their teeth clacked against each other, tongues fought for dominance, and saliva slowly escaped their mouths to cover their chins and cheeks.</p><p>It was sloppy and perfect, both desperately trying to convey their longing for the other through their actions and reactions.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter will focus on Akaashi and Bokuto's first experience together, so a warning is in play: underage sexual content beginning at, "Akaashi placed his hands on Bokuto’s shoulders..." and is marked in the chapter with *** There will not be many chapters with underage explicit content as the majority of the relationship is set during college years, but there may be one more chapter. </p><p>Format information: </p><p>A single line indicates a change in the scene </p><p>A double line indicates a change in time (past or future) from the current time period of the chapter</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bokuto and Akaashi’s first time together was, objectively, bad. Nerves had gotten to the both of them and resulted in poorly timed kisses, teeth clashing, and awkward embraces. They had made a plan to “do it” - as Bokuto called it - one weekend when they knew Akaashi’s parents would be gone and they wouldn’t be interrupted, but something about the small bedroom where they spent hours doing homework and studying, coupled with the twin-sized bed tucked neatly into one corner, too small for the two of them, made the situation feel even more strange. </p><p>“Should we just… um… start?” Bokuto asked placing his backpack next to Akaashi’s desk, something he had done thousands of times before, but now, he couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable in the room knowing what would be coming. He averted his eyes to the blue bedspread that was pristinely made hours earlier before Akaashi has left for school and wondered how long Akaashi had had those sheets. </p><p>“...Maybe we should eat something? Or… that might be a bad idea,” Akaashi replied standing at the door, noticing how much space he kept between himself and Bokuto. He kept his eyes on Bokuto’s feet, his socks worn from years of use, a hole on the big toe exposing the nail, a weak spot on the pad threatening to expose the rest of his foot at any moment. </p><p>Bokuto gave Akaashi a quizzical look and then registered his comment with a silent “oh” before rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. He wasn’t sure if <em>he </em>should initiate something. He was older and larger in size - not that that made a difference to him - something in his mind told him that he should be dominant, but that didn’t feel right. He liked when Akaashi was the one in control and he didn’t have to think as much; he knew Akaashi liked that as well. But right now, his partner stood several feet from him in the doorframe, as if he were ready to run at a moment’s notice, not making eye contact.</p><p>“We… we don’t have to-” </p><p>“I want to,” Akaashi cut in looking up from the floor, a bit of desperation in his eyes as if he were trying to convince himself of the fact. “As long as you want to,” he continued a bit softer. He began to pull on his fingers behind his back, causing Bokuto to close the distance, gently taking Akaashi’s hands into his own, and holding them gently. </p><p>“We can start slow and if we change our minds, either of us, we’ll stop. We can go at our own pace, y’know and… um...” Akaashi felt Bokuto’s hands shake a little while holding his own. He didn’t expect the older boy to be as anxious as <em>he </em>was about everything, but something about the shared nerves made him feel a little better. </p><p>“Kou, you’re shaking,” Akaashi whispered, moving his hands to tighten his grip around Bokuto’s. </p><p>“I’m just a little nervous, I guess. I want this to be perfect… for you…” he looked down at the ground, his cheeks beginning to turn red. Akaashi released a hand and pulled Bokuto back to face him. He kissed him gently and then placed his forehead on Bokuto’s, closing his eyes. </p><p>“It will be perfect because it’s with <em> you </em>.” Bokuto smiled and leaned in to kiss Akaashi. </p><p>“That was really cool, like a line from a movie or something,” he said, pulling away. “I love you, Keiji.” </p><p>“I love you, too.” Bokuto took a step back, eyes opened wide, and stared at Akaashi before a huge smile spread across his face. Akaashi looked up, his own eyes wide in realization. </p><p>“That’s the first time you’ve said it to me,” Bokuto nearly yelled, his eyebrows raised so high, they nearly touched his hairline. </p><p>“Yeah…” Akaashi breathed out. He smiled softly, his face turning a shade redder. He felt the pricking of tears behind his eyes and failed to blink them away. Bokuto’s face suddenly looked panicked and he stepped forward to take hold of Akaashi once again. </p><p>“What’s wrong? I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Sorry for what?” Akaashi laughed a little, wiping away a tear falling on his face.</p><p>“I don’t know. I don’t know what upset you, but I’m sorry.”</p><p>“I’m not upset. I’m really happy. I love you a lot, you know. I… feel bad that I can’t always say it, though.” </p><p>“I know,” Bokuto said, bringing his hand up to cup Akaashi’s face. He wrapped his other arm around his waist and pulled him in for a kiss. This one was different from the last few exchanged between them. It was deeper, more urgent, and both felt their pulses quicken, knowing this moment was the beginning. </p><p>***Akaashi placed his hands on Bokuto’s shoulders, pulling the older boy as close as possible, and then began to swipe his tongue gingerly over Bokuto’s lips between kisses. Bokuto opened his mouth to allow Akaashi space for exploration, feeling his warm tongue massage his own. </p><p>Their movements became more rushed, hands grazing over one another’s body, muscle pressed against muscle. Akaashi removed Bokuto’s school jacket, letting it fall to the floor. Bokuto began working on Akaashi’s shirt, his hands shaking and making it difficult to unfasten the buttons. He concentrated on slowing down his breathing but failed as his heart continued to quicken its pace. Finally, Akaashi took hold of his hand, slowing their kiss to a halt and pulling back slightly. </p><p>“Let me do that,” he whispered as he worked on his buttons, nimble fingers moving quickly. Bokuto started on his own buttons, trying to maintain a view of Akaashi as he removed his shirt and placed it on his dresser. He stopped mid-button and stared at Akaashi’s bare chest, taking in the few scattered moles, the outline of his abs, and the muscles of his chest. Akaashi closed the distance and finished unbuttoning Bokuto’s shirt. </p><p>“You’re staring,” he said, keeping his eyes on Bokuto’s shirt. He reached the last button and let the shirt hang open for Bokuto to remove himself. As he did, Akaashi watched, appreciative of the way his shoulders and biceps moved. </p><p>“You <em> really </em> don’t know how gorgeous you are, do you?” Bokuto asked. Akaashi just looked at him skeptically in response. “You could be a model if you wanted to.” </p><p>“Sure,” he responded sardonically, leaning in to kiss Bokuto’s shoulder, his hands resting on his hips. Bokuto closed his eyes and leaned into the contact. He wished Akaashi saw what he saw - not just his looks, but the value he saw in Akaashi. Whenever Bokuto would compliment Akaashi, he would receive it with a sarcastic comment or not acknowledge it altogether. Part of Bokuto knew this was just Akaashi’s personality, but the other part of him felt sad in that he thought Akaashi would never really believe in what an amazing person he was. </p><p>Bokuto let out a slight gasp as Akaashi found the spot that made him most vulnerable on his neck, right below his ear. The sound encouraged Akaashi to continue his assault of kisses and nibbles along Bokuto’s neck and jaw, making sure to never leave a mark anywhere that couldn’t be covered. </p><p>Bokuto felt himself grow harder, his pants straining against his erection. “Ji…” he breathed out, trying to signal to the other boy his current situation. </p><p>“Mm?” </p><p>“I don’t want to rush you, but can we move to the bed?” Akaashi paused for a moment and looked down, understanding dawning on him. He worked quickly on Bokuto’s belt and then his own. The two stipped themselves of their school slacks, leaving them in boxers. </p><p>Akaashi closed the door behind him and locked it, despite the knowledge that his parents were hours away, and took Bokuto’s hand and led him to his bed. He felt a bundle of nerves begin to form in his stomach as the two sat and faced each other, erections beginning to form. Kissing, making out, touching, those were easy. Those were things they had done before, enjoyed doing together. But they were about to take the next step in their relationship, something they had planned and discussed together. This was something Akaashi had agonized over, losing sleep thinking about positions, soreness, pleasure, all of it. Any semblance of confidence Akaashi had before had dissipated at once as the bed dipped under their weight. </p><p>Bokuto leaned in to kiss Akaashi, the two not quite at the same level of the bed, and Akaashi lost in his thoughts and taken by surprise at Bokuto’s closeness. Akaashi turned quickly, started, hitting Bokuto hard in the nose with his head, and causing the older boy to jerk back and hold onto his nose as tears welled up in his eyes. </p><p>“Shit,” Bokuto cursed. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention,” Akaashi leaned in to comfort Bokuto. “Let me check real quick.” Bokuto removed his hand as Akaashi inspected his nose. “I don’t see any blood, I think you’ll be fine. Sorry.”</p><p>“It’s fine.” </p><p>They sat for what seemed like a long time, keeping their hands to themselves, no one wanting to be the first to initiate. Bokuto looked up at Akaashi; his hands folded in his lap, twisting his fingers aggressively, eyes cast down. He didn’t want to push, he didn’t know what to say anyway. He opened his mouth a few times and then closed it, nothing coming out to resolve the palpable tension. </p><p>“Can I kiss you? I want to try that again.” Bokuto finally managed after a few minutes of silence, trying to make light of the situation. Akaashi looked up, too many emotions pooling in his sea-green eyes. He bit onto his lower lip, not answering, and then simply nodded. Bokuto leaned forward on his hands and knees, closing the distance, but trying to avoid too much physical contact at the same time. He kissed Akaashi deeply but waited for him to signal that he was ready for more. </p><p>Akaashi placed his hands on either side of Bokuto’s face and then leaned back on the bed, pulling Bokuto with him. Bokuto hovered over Akaashi, placing his weight on his forearms, their chests grazing one another as they breathed in and out. Bokuto moved to Akaashi’s neck, lightly kissing and flicking his tongue over the skin; he paid special attention to the mole next to Akaashi’s collarbone. </p><p>He made his way down to Akaashi’s chest and paused for a moment, looking up. “Is this okay?” he asked before working on Akaashi’s nipple. Akaashi nodded, more eagerly than before, heat rushing to his groin a little more with each touch. Bokuto took the nipple in his mouth, circling the hardened bud with his tongue. Akaashi let out a moan louder than anticipated and slapped his hand over his mouth. </p><p>Bokuto sat up for a moment, “Don’t be embarrassed, I want to hear you.” Akaashi looked down at him and gave a shy smile. Bokuto continued working on Akaashi’s now fully aroused nipples, the sensation causing Akaashi to grow harder. He began to move his hips slightly, seeking some friction, and found himself rubbing against Bokuto’s hips. </p><p>He pulled Bokuto back up to him and into a deep kiss, their tongues mingling with one another messily. They were now in the perfect position to feel the other’s erection, and both began to grind their hips. The room filled with the sound of sloppy kisses and moans caught inside mouths until Bokuto pulled away slowly. </p><p>He sat up on the bed, Akaashi matching his actions, and started to remove his boxers. Akaashi followed suit, tossing his underwear on the floor next to the bed. The two looked at each other for a moment, nerves creeping back in. They had seen one another naked several times, both in intimate settings and otherwise. </p><p>Akaashi recalled the first time he had seen Bokuto naked in the locker room during his first year on the volleyball team at Fukurodani. Bokuto had just come from the shower, his hair still dripping wet, water droplets plopping down the tendrils and tracing paths on his chest and back as he walked to his locker across the aisle from Akaashi’s. Komi had snuck up beside him, towel in hand, twisting it like a serpent ready to strike. He cracked the towel across Bokuto’s hip causing him to yelp out in surprise and pain, and resulting in his own towel falling to the ground. Bokuto, in an attempt to get revenge, began to chase Komi around the locker room, abandoning his towel on the ground. </p><p>“Hey Bokuto, put your dick away dude,” Konoha had yelled from across the room, laughing at the scene. Akaashi had already known that he liked Bokuto as more than a friend, but seeing him completely nude - being able to appreciate the thickness of his thighs that still had a small indent in the skin left from his compression sleeves, and the roundness of his butt completely unobstructed by a school uniform or gym shorts - he felt his cheeks grow red and couldn’t help but watch the scene, not taking his eyes off the older boy and his body. When Bokuto had realized he was running around completely naked, he looked down at himself and then looked back up, locking eyes with Akaashi briefly before both abruptly turned away. </p><p>It wasn’t until after the two had started dating that Akaashi confessed his voyeurism during that day. Bokuto laughed, saying it was not a big deal seeing as he ran around the locker room nude and made a complete idiot of himself, and he even owned up to stealing glances at Akaashi while he was changing - he apparently thought that Akaashi had a nice back. “I never looked while you were in the shower though, I promise,” he declared with his fingers up as if to provide a scout’s oath. Now, sitting on the bed across from one another, entirely nude and knowing what was about to happen, both felt their hearts continue to race as their nerves took over as they remained silent and still. </p><p>Bokuto sat back a little and began to scratch the back of his head. “Should we just… like, go for it?” he asked, glancing up at Akaashi. Akaashi stayed still for a moment, not looking up from the bed, and then stood and moved to his dresser. </p><p>“Yes, I’m ready.” Bokuto followed him with his eyes as he opened the top drawer and removed the condoms and lubricant he had purchased after practice one day and kept hidden behind his socks. “Are... you ready?” he asked, turning toward Bokuto. </p><p>Bokuto nodded and smiled, “Yes.” Akaashi returned to the bed with his items, handing the bottle of lube to Bokuto. He studied it for a moment before uncapping it to squirt some in his hands. He squeezed too tightly on the bottle, causing lube to shoot out and spill onto Akaashi’s comforter. </p><p>“Shit, fuck, sorry,” he cursed. He looked at Akaashi, eyes wide with nerves. </p><p>Akaashi snorted a little and leaned back on the bed. “It’s fine, I’ll wash the sheets later. Do you have enough?” </p><p>“Uh-huh, I think so.” Bokuto placed the bottle on the floor and rubbed his hands together to warm up the lube. Akaashi laid on his back and spread his legs open, exposing himself completely. He took deep breaths and felt his chest tremble a little, his eyes moved to his desk at the other end of the room. Bokuto had never fingered him, it was always the other way around, he felt a bit uneasy as he tried to control his breathing. </p><p>Bokuto moved forward in between Akaashi’s legs. He placed his middle finger against his hole and pressed lightly, testing before moving forward. Bokuto took Akaashi’s member in his other hand and began to slowly stroke, not wanting to stimulate him too much, but hoping to create a distraction. </p><p>“Tell me if it hurts or if you don’t like it or if you just want me to stop, okay?”</p><p>“Kou, I’ll be fine.”</p><p>“You have to tell me, Ji. Okay?” he asked, not taking his eyes from Akaashi’s. </p><p>“Okay, I will.” Bokuto began to circle the hole slowly, occasionally pushing against the tight muscle. He knew his fingers were thicker than Akaashi’s but he wanted this to feel as good as possible. He didn’t want to be responsible for Akaashi’s first negative experience with sex. He eased the finger in, keeping his eyes on Akaashi’s expression, making sure to decipher any ounce of pain that registered across his face. </p><p>Akaashi closed his eyes and let out a soft hiss from the pressure. He felt himself clench tightly around the digit, causing Bokuto to pause his movements. He tried his best to relax. It felt fine, a little painful, but okay. He opened his eyes and nodded, signaling for Bokuto to keep going. He didn’t want Bokuto to get upset and think he hurt him, so he clenched his jaw and waited as Bokuto continued to push the finger in deeper. </p><p>Bokuto reached the end of his knuckle, the palm of his hand pressed against Akaashi, his other hand still working slowly. “How does it feel?” he asked. </p><p>“Honestly? It feels like I have a finger inside me.” </p><p>“Oh.” </p><p>“Sorry… um. It just kind of feels like pressure right now. It might be different when I get used to it or when you start moving? I don’t know, I’ve never done this before.”</p><p>“Yeah. Well, how does it feel when you do it to yourself?”</p><p>“Do what to myself?”</p><p>“Finger yourself.”</p><p>Akaashi looked away for a moment, not making eye contact with Bokuto. “I’ve never fingered myself before...”</p><p>Bokuto raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had never seen Akaashi stimulate himself anally when they masturbated together, but he figured it was because Akaashi had always finished first and would then work on him. But he assumed Akaashi had tried to finger himself when he was alone, at least once. </p><p>“Kou…? Say something.” Akaashi looked up at Bokuto, embarrassment painting his features. He suddenly felt awkward in his current position, one finger inside Akaashi and his other hand wrapped around his cock. </p><p>“Do you want me to stop? Does it feel good?” </p><p>“No, don’t stop. Let me get used to it and then we can try to add another finger and see if that’s better. It might start to feel good if you move?” Bokuto thought about it for a second, he didn’t want Akaashi to try something that made him uncomfortable, just for the sake of appeasing him. </p><p>“Are you sure? We can wait-”</p><p>“Please.” Akaashi propped himself up on his elbows and placed a hand on Bokuto’s face. “I <em> want </em>to try.” </p><p>“Okay,” Bokuto said, placing a kiss on Akaashi’s knee, the closest body part he could find. Akaashi laid back down and reached his hands to grasp each side of his ass, spreading the cheeks more in hopes it would help Bokuto get more access and create some pleasure. Bokuto started pumping slowly and then went to move his finger inside Akaashi. It was difficult, Akaashi clenched each time he started to move, relaxed, and then clenched again. Eventually, he seemed to get used to the presence of the digit inside of him and Bokuto was able to match his finger speed with his strokes. </p><p>After a few minutes, Akaashi leaned his head up. “I think I’m ready for another.” Bokuto nodded and reached for the lube on the floor, releasing Akaashi’s erection. He added a bit more to his pointer finger and began to probe the hole a little to test the muscle once again. </p><p>This time felt a little different, Akaashi didn’t feel as nervous and was actually excited at the idea of receiving more pleasure. He cursed himself in his mind for not preparing himself during his time while dating Bokuto; he knew this day would eventually come.</p><p>He had been intimidated at the idea of something going inside him. That coupled with his parents’ presence in the house, he didn’t want to try something alone in his room, just to hurt himself and have to run to either parent for assistance. So, he decided to avoid it completely. He wished he had at least tried his own finger or something smaller. Bokuto had thick fingers, and they were calloused from spiking the ball every day. He was positive that he hadn’t moisturized his hands ever in his life. </p><p>The second finger went in causing Akaashi to flinch and clench from the presence. <em> I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine</em>, he thought to himself, clenching his jaw and closing his eyes. But it didn’t feel good. It wasn’t like he had imagined at all. </p><p>“Stop,” Akaashi cried out, suddenly. Bokuto immediately paused and looked at Akaashi, fear in his eyes. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I went too fast, I can change the angle, I-”</p><p>“It’s not you. Ugh, I’m so stupid. Why didn’t I try anything on my own?” he cursed himself. </p><p>“You’re not stupid, it’s okay. Here, let me take my fingers out.” Bokuto moved slowly, trying not to hurt Akaashi more, but he could see small winces on his face until he was completely out. “Better?” </p><p>“Yeah…” Akaashi said, rolling over onto his side. Bokuto stood from the bed and found a towel hanging from a hook on Akaashi’s door. He wiped his hands and then sat down on the bed, rubbing Akaashi’s back. </p><p>“Do you want to watch a movie instead?” Bokuto asked after a few minutes of silence. </p><p>“I don’t care,” Akaashi replied, not turning over to look at him. </p><p>“Ji, it’s okay. We can work on it and try again, it’s not a big deal. It’s just sex.”</p><p>“I wanted this to go well, I wanted the two of us to take that final step. But we can’t. Because of me. You should just be with Kuroo. I’m sure he knows how to get fingered.” </p><p>“He might be more of a top. We should probably discuss that with him at some point… But it doesn’t matter. We can always try again. Or um, I don’t know… maybe you can top. What about that?”</p><p>Akaashi rolled over to face Bokuto, an incredulous look on his face. “You want <em>me </em>to top <em>you </em>?” he asked, his eyes narrowed, an eyebrow raised. </p><p>“Why not? Does it matter who does what? You said it was about taking the next step, being connected - I want that too. I can wait, but if you want this to happen now, top.” Akaashi searched Bokuto’s face for an ounce of aversion or resistance to the idea. When he thought about his first time, he had images in his mind of being ravaged by Bokuto, his eyes rolling to the back of his head and his mouth hanging slack in pleasure, no matter how barbaric and, perhaps, unrealistic that would be given how gentle and sweet his partner was. Now that the roles may be reversed, he couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed. </p><p>“Ji, we don’t have to if this isn’t how you wanted today to go. It’s fine,” Bokuto said as if he were reading Akaashi’s thoughts. “But I want you to be happy, and I’m happy with you. I’m willing to try anything.” Akaashi took a deep breath and then pulled Bokuto in for a brief kiss. </p><p>“I want to, as long as this is something you’re okay with.” </p><p>“Of course, this will be way better than the dildo I have at home.” Bokuto and Akaashi switched places on the bed. </p><p>“You have a dildo?” Akaashi laughed.</p><p>“Well… yeah. I like to use it when I masturbate, it feels good…” he said, slightly embarrassed. </p><p>“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. I just can’t imagine you walking into a sex shop to buy a dildo or anything else, that’s all. I hope you weren’t wearing your school jacket when you bought it.” </p><p>“Oh, I got it online. They have so many options! You should get one… if you want, that is. Do you, um, want me to… um...” Bokuto motioned his head to Akaashi’s crotch, his erection long gone; Bokuto was about half-hard still. </p><p>“No, I can do it. Can I…” he trailed off not knowing how to proceed. </p><p>“Will you prep me?” Bokuto finished the thought for him. Akaashi nodded and gave a timid smile. Bokuto moved the pillows on the bed and sat with his back against the headboard while Akaashi grabbed the lube bottle from the floor. He squirted a generous amount onto his pointer finger and moved in between Bokuto’s legs. </p><p>He pressed his finger against Bokuto’s hole, the muscle more relaxed than his own, and circled gently before pushing in slowly. He looked up at Bokuto, his eyes closed, brows furrowed slightly, and mouth opened in an “oh” signifying his pleasure. Akaashi felt a little envious but shook away the feeling quickly. He wanted Bokuto to feel good, and he was happy that <em>he </em>was the one doing it. </p><p>He reached the end of his finger and paused, waiting for Bokuto to react. The other boy opened his eyes, though they were still hooded with pleasure, and he locked onto Akaashi. </p><p>“Kiss me,” he breathed out. Akaashi felt a rush of heat from the tips of his toes to his ears, suddenly wanting to claim Bokuto in every way. He quickly moved forward, forgetting his finger was still inside, causing it to add more pressure and make Bokuto moan at the movement. </p><p>“Shit, I’m sorry,” Akaashi blurted out quickly in a panic. </p><p>“It’s fine, kiss me,” Bokuto said again, this time reaching for Akaashi. More carefully than before, Akaashi closed the distance and captured Bokuto’s lips, need taking over his movements as their teeth clacked against each other, tongues fought for dominance, and saliva slowly escaped their mouths to cover their chins and cheeks.</p><p>It was sloppy and perfect, both desperately trying to convey their longing for the other through their actions and reactions. Akaashi pulled his finger out slightly, causing Bokuto to moan into his mouth, before pushing it back in. He continued the motion, curling his finger as he went and caressing Bokuto’s wall, causing Bokuto to tremble and moan and kiss deeper to reciprocate his feelings for Akaashi. </p><p>“I’m going to add another,” Akaashi whispered, pulling away from Bokuto slightly. He turned to look down at his hand, making sure to tease the hole slightly before adding the second finger. He could hear Bokuto’s breathing hitch each time he pressed lightly into the muscle, and then a small hiss as he pushed his middle finger in. </p><p>“Fuck…” Bokuto moaned. </p><p>“Does it hurt?” Akaashi asked, keeping his focus on his work, slowly pushing deeper. </p><p>“No… feels… good, Bokuto managed between deep breaths. Akaashi looked back at Bokuto, his face was red and he leaned back against the headboard, seemingly in complete bliss. He felt good knowing he had this kind of effect on his partner. </p><p>He turned to look at Bokuto’s cock which had a pinkish tint to it, a heavy vein along the bottom, and pre-cum leaking from not being touched. He wrapped his free hand around it and began slow, even strokes. Bokuto opened his eyes and watched Akaashi’s hand move up and down, his long fingers wrapped around the shaft and base and occasionally skimming his balls, his thumb gracing over the tip. He was so beautiful to watch, and every movement felt perfect. </p><p>“You can add another,” Bokuto panted. Akaashi obliged, slowly working his ring finger into the hole, stroking Bokuto thoroughly. “I love you,” Bokuto whispered, his eyes hooded and staring at Akaashi. Akaashi paused and leaned over to kiss Bokuto gently before continuing to pump his fingers back and forth, searching for that certain spot. Bokuto let out a loud moan, slightly clenching around Akaashi’s fingers letting him know he had found his prostate. He stroked the spot a few more times but did not want to overstimulate Bokuto before getting to the main activity. </p><p>After a few minutes, Bokuto said, “I’m ready, I want you.” Akaashi nodded, slowly pulling his fingers from Bokuto and grabbing the condoms from the floor. “It looks like I won’t have to get you up,” Bokuto joked. Akaashi looked at him a little confused and then turned his focus to where Bokuto was motioning. His cock had gotten hard again and now stood tall against his stomach. He had been so focused on Bokuto, he hadn’t noticed the throbbing until now. </p><p>He grabbed one of the foil packets and observed it for a moment before Bokuto sat up next to him and took it from his hand. “Let me do it,” he said with a smile on his face. </p><p>“Okay,” Akaashi replied, returning his smile. He watched as Bokuto ripped the foil open and placed the rubber condom on top of Akaashi’s cock, pinching the top of it lightly. He rolled the condom down sending shivers through Akaashi’s body with the contact he didn’t realize he had been starved for. Bokuto gave his member a few pumps, leaning up to kiss him deeply. He reached for the lube behind him with his other hand and placed it in front of Akaashi. </p><p>Bokuto sat back on the bed again, watching Akashi with hungry eyes. Akaashi applied a liberal amount of lube to his cock, stroking it a few times before moving closer to Bokuto. He took a small drop of lube and circled Bokuto’s hole to prepare him.</p><p>He lined himself up, pressing his tip to Bokuto’s hole and adding a bit of pressure to gauge his reaction. Bokuto nodded and smiled shyly. He pulled Akaashi forward so he was balanced above him. Akaashi kissed Bokuto before reaching down to slowly push himself into his hole. </p><p>Bokuto sucked in a breath and grasped onto Akaashi’s shoulders tightly. His eyes squeezed shut and his face scrunched in what looked like pain. Akaashi paused for a moment, not wanting to hurt Bokuto or make him feel uncomfortable, Bokuto snapped his eyes open suddenly. </p><p>“Don’t stop,” he whispered, need present in his voice. </p><p>“Am I hurting you?” Akaashi asked, still worried about the expression on Bokuto’s face. He had seen what he looked like when he was enjoying himself, this image did not match that. </p><p>“It’s a little uncomfortable… but it mostly feels good. Keep going.” Akaashi gave a small nod and slowly pushed all the way in until his hips reached Bokuto, his legs butterflied out to allow Akaashi space in between them. “Okay, give me a second to get used to it.” Akaashi sat back on his knees and took the time to admire his partner, the muscle of his chest and arms, tone from years of athletics, the small stretch marks on his biceps and parts of his pectorals - Akaashi loved it all. He didn’t have much hair on his chest, but he had quite a bit that seemed to originate from right below his navel and spread outward from there, some reaching the center divot in his abs in a nice, straight line.</p><p>Akaashi appreciated the hair that graced Bokuto’s inner thighs. He liked to kiss that area when he went down on him, feeling the sparse tendrils against his lips as he moved towards Bokuto’s erection. Perhaps his favorite part was the pubic hair surrounding Bokuto’s lower half. It was soft and smooth - unlike Akaashi’s which was more coarse and curly - and Akaashi wondered if Bokuto took time to groom himself or if he even cared about stuff like that. He once told Akaashi he had shaved under his arms because he didn’t like the way it looked, he thought his hair was too bushy, but his sisters consoled him after he had cut himself pretty badly and asked for help with the abrasion. Now, as he laid in front of Akaashi, fully exposed, Akaashi could truly take in how beautiful Bokuto always claimed Akaashi to be. </p><p>“What are you thinking,” Bokuto asked quietly. </p><p>“Hm? Oh, um… you’re really beautiful.” Akaashi felt his face blush a little as he locked eyes with Bokuto’s, the sun devouring the sea. </p><p>“Really? Then you’re gorgeous!” he laughed and then made a face, furrowing his eyebrows. “I think I’m ready for you to move.” </p><p>Akaashi leaned forward, carefully, between Bokuto’s legs and kissed him gently on the lips and then the jaw before moving back to sit on his knees. He grabbed onto Bokuto’s leg, placing them around his waist before taking hold of his hips. He began to pull out slowly, trying to make sure he was not hurting him, until he was close to the tip. He gave Bokuto a last look, making sure he was truly ready before he began to move. Bokuto nodded and smiled at him, placing his hand on Akaashi’s and giving it a soft squeeze. </p><p>Akaashi started moving, slow, even thrusts as he felt his pleasure build from being surrounded by Bokuto. His breathing picked up and he closed his eyes, relinquishing control to his senses and letting his motions become automatic. The sound of his hips meeting Bokuto guided him, like a metronome counting a steady cadence. He could hear Bokuto’s breathing, too, mixed with soft airy moans that may have been coming from either or both of them. </p><p>He opened his eyes when he felt Bokuto’s hand grip tighter around his wrist, the nails starting to dig into his skin. His eyes were dark and his mouth was slightly slack as he rocked back and forth under Akaashi. “Faster,” he pleaded.  Akaashi obliged, changing to a ¾ tempo, each beat accentuated by the connection of their bodies. </p><p>Akaashi leaned forward, changing the position and holding his weight on his forearms above Bokuto, their chests grazed each other as he tried to maintain the same pacing. He felt Bokuto’s knees around his hips, holding tightly to maintain contact, and his erection rubbing against Akaashi’s stomach, providing some friction to the neglected extremity. </p><p>Their lips played a game of meeting and missing as Akaashi couldn’t quite focus the movement on just his lower half. He settled for tucking his head into Bokuto’s neck, kissing the side of his jaw and throat. </p><p>It only took a few more minutes before Akaashi felt overwhelmingly hot, the pressure building in his body as he felt his orgasm creeping up. His pace quickened as he chased the release, his thrusts staccatoed with grunts and kisses, a layer of sweat forming around his body.</p><p>“I’m going to come soon,” Akaashi said, pushing up on his arms to look down at Bokuto. He just nodded at him and pulled him down for a kiss, the sweat on their chests mingling. Bokuto could feel his cock throbbing with the friction of Akaashi’s movements, but he needed more. He wanted Akaashi to come so he could finish himself off. He pulled his legs tighter around Akaashi and moved his hips as best as he could manage to meet Akaashi’s thrusts. </p><p>Akaashi let out a loud moan that came from deep in his throat. He moved back into his original position, sitting on his knees and holding tightly onto Bokuto’s hips. He thrust as deep as he could, knowing he would come at any moment and relief would sweep over his body. When he felt like he was about to burst, he suddenly pulled out from Bokuto and removed the condom, tossing it to the ground. He stood from the bed, his legs protesting with numbness, and hovered over Bokuto as he pumped his cock vigorously. </p><p>Bokuto watched, motionless, trying to catch his breath as Akaashi moved his hand up and down his shaft quickly, massaging his balls lightly, before moving even closer to Bokuto. With a final grunt, Akaashi came hard onto Bokuto’s chest, semen coating his pecs and nipples. Bokuto waited for Akaashi to finish, a little surprised, but turned on nonetheless, as the final beads of warm cum landed on his skin. He reached down to his own erection and began to stroke as he watched Akaashi finish. </p><p>Akaashi slowed his strokes, eventually coming to a complete stop, before looking down at Bokuto. His face, already flushed, turned beet red as he saw the mess he made on his partner. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, refusing to make eye contact.</p><p>“Why?” Bokuto asked, pausing his movements to sit up on the bed, his back now pressed against the headboard and pillows. As he sat up, some of the cum started to slowly move down his chest and onto his stomach. </p><p>“I should have asked before…” </p><p>“No, I liked it. You look really hot when you come.” He resumed stroking his cock, Akaashi’s eyes moving to Bokuto’s hand. “Don’t be ashamed of the things you like, <em> ever </em>.” Akaashi leaned down to kiss Bokuto, still maintaining eye contact with his motions. “You know,” Bokuto continued as they pulled away from one another, “I don’t think I’ve ever tasted you.” </p><p>Akaashi gave Bokuto a quizzical look while also thinking about the times they had hooked up. “You’ve given me head, what are you talking about?” </p><p>“You’ve never come in my mouth. I usually finish you off with a hand job and you come over my hand or on your stomach, never in my mouth.” </p><p>“Huh… what’s your point?” </p><p>“Just an observation,” Bokuto said, swiping a small pool of cum from his chest with his free hand and sliding his finger over his tongue and bottom lip, trying to look seductive. Akaashi watched, feeling a twitch in his cock that he tried to ignore, he couldn’t get over how hot his partner was. Despite his goofy or dejected moments, Bokuto was effortlessly gorgeous. </p><p>“How’s it taste?” </p><p>Bokuto licked his lips and sucked his teeth a bit, looking as if he were about to rate his meal at a Michelin star restaurant. “A little bitter, but not bad.” </p><p>“Sorry,” Akaashi mused, “I’ll have to prepare better next time. Akaashi moved to the end of the bed and placed himself in between Bokuto’s legs. Bokuto removed his hand from his cock to allow Akaashi to take over. Akaashi slowly ran his hands over Bokuto’s thighs, using them for balance as he lowered himself right above his cock. He laid a kiss on the bottom of Bokuto’s shaft before running his lips up the length to the pink tip. He took hold of his cock in one hand and gave Bokuto a look through his lashes before taking it in his mouth. Bokuto watched under half-lidded eyes, desire pooling in his chest making his temperature rise as he watched Akaashi work. </p><p>Akaashi bobbed up and down, using his tongue on the shaft, his teeth occasionally skimming the skin - he knew Bokuto liked that and would let out short moans at the contact. He used his hand to massage Bokuto’s balls, trying to add as much pleasure as possible, and knew he was close when Bokuto placed a hand on Akaashi’s head, fingers gripped into his hair. Akaashi pushed Bokuto in as far as he could, feeling tears in his eyes as his cock hit the back of his throat. </p><p>“Shit, I’m going to come, Ji.” Akaashi didn’t slow down. He flicked his tongue over Bokuto’s tip before taking his member back in, grazing his teeth along the shaft once again. He felt Bokuto begin to tremble underneath him, encouraging him to keep going until he felt the warm, thick, liquid gush into his mouth and heard Bokuto curse more. </p><p>Akaashi slowed his movements, lazily licking up and down Bokuto and swallowing the cum in his mouth. He reached the tip and sucked on it a little, kissing it before Bokuto pushed him back. His breathing was heavy and his chest was trembling as he waited for the last bits of his orgasm to dissipate.</p><p>“Sensitive?” Akaashi asked, sitting back and rubbing one of Bokuto’s thighs. </p><p>Bokuto just nodded, trying to regulate his breathing. “H-how do I t-taste?” he asked. </p><p>“Mm. A little bitter, but not bad,” Akaashi mimicked Bokuto. </p><p>“Shut up.” Akaashi smiled and moved to the top of the bed to cuddle with Bokuto. His chest was a bit tacky from the dried cum, his hair all messed up as parts of the gel no longer stayed intact while other pieces held strong. His face was red and flushed. They leaned against each other, quiet, holding hands, and soaked up the moment in complete silence. Outside, the sounds of traffic filled the void as people headed home from their workdays.  </p><p>“We just had sex,” Bokuto said quietly.</p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>“Now what?” Bokuto looked over at Akaashi, his eyes light, playful, and a bit cautious. Akaashi stared back into them for a moment before responding.</p><p>“We should take a shower, you’re kind of sticky… sorry. I have to change my sheets and throw these in the wash. We can order takeout if you want. Do homework?” </p><p>“It’s Friday, Ji. And I’m in a good mood now. Can’t we do our homework tomorrow?” </p><p>“Sure,” Akaashi laughed a little. “Wanna watch a movie?”</p><p>“Yeah, there’s this one that just came out and it’s got superheroes and all sorts of action and stuff. I forgot the name though. We could probably look it up.” </p><p>“Sure, that sounds great.” Akaashi paused, neither of them moved from their spot on the bed. Akaashi squeezed Bokuto’s hand a little tighter. “We just had sex.” </p><p>“We did,” Bokuto smiled.</p><p>“It was kind of bad?”</p><p>“Mm-hm, it was,” Bokuto laughed, his chest moving with the sound. He leaned his head on Akaashi’s shoulder and closed his eyes. Akaashi mimicked the action, gently leaning his head on top of Bokuto’s. “But it was perfect, right?” he asked quietly. </p><p>Akaashi turned and kissed Bokuto on the top of the head before moving back into his position. “Perfect,” he whispered.  </p><hr/>
<hr/><p>“I’m sorry,” Akaashi mumbled, standing outside Bokuto’s building. His shoulders were slouched and his head bent forward, eyes stayed focused on the sidewalk. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. Not like this.” </p><p>“Is this what you really want, Ji? Is <em> she </em>who you really want?” Bokuto asked with tears in his eyes. He did everything in his power to keep them from spilling over. The lump in his throat was beginning to feel painful. </p><p>Akaashi kept his head down, refusing to make eye contact. He felt torn and scared and abandoned, but he didn’t know how to tell that to Bokuto. </p><p>“Just say it, Akaashi. Tell me what you came here to say.” Akaashi snapped his head up, now unjustifiably angry. Since they started dating, Bokuto never used his surname. Streaks of salty liquid started to mark his face, twisting Akaashi’s stomach at the sight. Bokuto was hurting and it was Akaashi’s fault. Akaashi was hurting too, though. But whose fault was it? He had to make the pain stop. He <em>needed </em>it to stop. </p><p><em> This is for the best</em>, he thought to himself. </p><p>“I think we should stop seeing each other.” </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for the reads, kudos, and comments! I really enjoy reading and interacting with them. If you have any feedback, please feel free to reach out, I am always willing to try something new! </p><p>The next post will be on March 26.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“You called him ‘Ji,’” you stated. Bokuto just looked at you, not really understanding what you meant. “Twice, actually. You called Akaashi ‘Ji,’ as in Keiji.” Bokuto waited for you to elaborate further. “Bokuto, are you in love with Akaashi?” His eyes grew wide and he drew his thumb away from his mouth, opting to bite his lower lip instead. You could see him swallow hard and suddenly you dreaded what answer he was going to give you. </p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You knocked on Akaashi’s office door and waited for him to look up from his work. He lifted his eyes from the screen in front of him and smiled. His eyes looked a little red and he had some dark circles under them, most likely from whatever he was working on. </p><p>“Come in,” he said, standing from the desk. You walked to the empty chair and took a seat as he closed the door behind you. “Did you need help with something, or did you just stop by to see me?” he asked, perching on the desk in front of you. </p><p>“I just wanted to stop by, I have to go to another set of office hours, but they don’t start for a bit so I figured I would come to see you.” You looked at his hands gripped on the edge of the desk, images of those hands on your body, caressing, fingering, touching every inch of your skin, played through your mind. You bit your lip thinking about the events of the past weekend and wondered when the temperature in the office rose. </p><p>“How nice of you. What class?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“What class are you going to office hours for?” he asked standing from the desk and crouching next to your chair. </p><p>“Oh, um, physics. I have a big test coming up in a week or so and I just want some extra help with the material,” you lied. </p><p>“Physics? I didn’t know you were taking any science classes this semester. Is that a general studies course or are you taking it as an elective?” He looked at you a little skeptically. English majors didn’t need that advanced of a science course for their degree. </p><p>“It’s an elective. I took it in high school and really enjoyed it and I did well too. I need a certain number of upper-division credits, so I figured I should at least take something familiar that I enjoy, right?” </p><p>“Makes sense.” He took your hand in his and pulled it to his mouth. Agonizingly slow, he began to place kisses starting from your hand and working his way down your arm. When he got past your wrist, he looked at you through his long lashes - his face seemed so innocent, but his eyes cast a devilish emerald glow that made your heart lurch. </p><p>“What were you working on when I came in?” you asked trying to maintain a level voice. </p><p>His lips grazed your skin as he slowly pulled away. “A paper for my poetry class. I finished grading your class’ assignments, so I’ve been able to work on my own for a change.”</p><p>“That must be nice.” </p><p>“Mm. You know what’s nice?” he asked, standing up from his spot, still holding onto your arm causing you to stand with him. </p><p>“What’s that?”</p><p>“I think it’s so <em> nice </em> that you came to visit me.” He placed his hands on your waist and took a few steps to reposition you against the desk, his back to the door. You reached up and moved his glasses onto his head before wrapping your arms around his neck. He smiled at you and leaned in for a kiss, placing himself between your legs. </p><p>It was gentle and sweet and patient; everything felt great when you were with Akaashi. You ran your fingers through his hair, it was so soft and the perfect length to grip between your fingers. You tugged lightly, causing him to breathe out a light moan, opening his mouth enough for you to enter. </p><p>You met his tongue with yours and the two of you massaged the other, warm mouths claiming each other. He squeezed your hips a little tighter and lifted you to sit on the desk. He had to bend down slightly to reach you, but he placed his hands on each thigh and ran his hands up and down your bare skin slowly, gently grazing with his fingernails. </p><p>You pulled away from the kiss, taking his chin in your hand and tilting his head upward to give you access to his jaw and throat. You kissed under his jaw and down his throat, feeling the firmness of his adam’s apple beneath your lips and tongue, all the way to his jugular at the base of his neck. He sighed in appreciation, sending vibrations to your lips as you moved along his collarbone. You maneuvered his shirt slightly, as he wore his typical button-down, the sleeves rolled to show just enough of his forearms to keep his look appropriate, but continue to send images of those arms and hands touching you from the other night stored permanently in your hippocampus. </p><p>You felt one of Akaashi’s hands move from your thigh to the hem of your shirt and skim under the material gently, but keeping his fingers low. You pulled away slightly and dropped his chin, allowing him to look back down at you. He locked eyes with you, questioning his movements as if he were making sure you were comfortable before proceeding. You placed a hand on top of his forearm and guided it up slightly, signifying for him to continue. He resumed his kiss with you, deep and passionate, but not rushed or needy. </p><p>Akaashi’s fingertips ghosted above your skin, light traces that made you feel hotter, until his hand reached your breast under your shirt. His hand stretched across your breast, his fingers playing with the material of your bra before dipping into the cup to fondle your chest. He pinched and twisted your nipple between his fingers, causing you to moan into his mouth. You moved your hand down his waist and to the front of his pants and felt the beginning of an erection forming. </p><p>“It would probably be inappropriate to have sex here, huh?” you asked, pulling away from him, feigning innocence in your voice. </p><p>“That would be <em>very </em>inappropriate,” he responded, kissing the side of your neck. “But I would say that what we’re doing right now is also incredibly inappropriate, wouldn’t you?” </p><p>“Hm, I guess it is. So what’s to stop us from doing something more inappropriate?” </p><p>Akaashi stopped his movements and stood in front of you, removing his hand from your shirt and taking hold of your face before whispering. “I think the main issue would be those lewd sounds you make when I fuck you.” </p><p>You felt your face turn red as he looked into your eyes, an amused expression across his face. He pulled your face back to his, claiming your mouth as you were still dumbstruck by his statement. He licked over your lips, coaxing them open, and exploring your mouth freely. After a moment, you pushed back with your tongue, fighting a little for dominance. You reached a hand down over his crotch and stroked the area softly. He hummed in contentment, pressing his hips forward into the touch. </p><p>You moved your lips along his jaw and up to his ear and whispered, “I can be quiet.”</p><p>“I sincerely doubt that,” he replied with a smirk. He took a small step back, now out of your reach, and looked at his watch. “What time are the office hours?”</p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“The office hours you’re going to for physics, I don’t want you to be late.” </p><p>“Oh, right. I think I have a little more time. I actually… um, kind of wanted to ask you something?” He gave you an amused expression, enjoying your sudden nervousness, and moved back in closer to you. </p><p>“What is it?” he purred. He kissed the side of your neck, making your brain a little fuzzy as you tried to collect your thoughts. You wanted to ask him about the other night if he and Bokuto were okay, and, perhaps, what this now meant for your relationship. The words seemed jumbled in your head as he pushed your hair behind your shoulder and kissed down your neck, swiping his tongue out occasionally. </p><p>“I was… just… mm… ahh… I was wanted to-” </p><p>The sound of the door handle twisting jolted you from your thoughts. Akaashi perked up and moved himself a few steps away from you, turning his attention to the door. You tried to compose yourself before the door swung open but were not able to sit back in a chair - a much more appropriate position - before Bokuto came into view. </p><p>“Hey ‘Kashi, I have a few minutes before practice, what did you-” he stopped when he saw you and Akaashi standing across from him, guilt painting your face as his eyes scanned the room, but avoided you as much as possible. “I didn’t know I was interrupting something. I should have knocked, sorry,” he said, turning to leave the room. </p><p>“Wait a second,” Akaashi called before he could leave. Bokuto stopped in the doorway, his back turned away from you and Akaashi. Akaashi moved to the other side of the desk and opened a backpack lying on the floor. You watched him pull out black fabric, but you couldn’t tell what it was. “You left these in the dryer, you’re going to need them.” Akaashi walked up to Bokuto and handed him the material - leggings? </p><p>Bokuto took them, opening his gym bag and shoving them in quickly. He and Akaashi exchanged a look, you weren’t quite sure what was going on, but you felt awkward for being in the space, it felt like they needed to discuss something important, but your presence was preventing that conversation. You tried to keep your eyes down, attempting to be as respectful of their space as possible, but you couldn’t help but notice how sad Bokuto’s face seemed as he looked at Akaashi. </p><p>“Thank you,” he said quietly. “I’ll see you later tonight?” </p><p>“Yes, I’ll see you at home,” Akaashi replied, placing a hand on Bokuto’s shoulder. You couldn’t quite tell from where you were sitting, but it looked like Akaashi gave Bokuto’s shoulder a bit of a squeeze as well. </p><p>Bokuto gave him a small smile, turned his head to look at you and nod, and then walked down the hallway. For some reason, the few moments between them seemed extremely intimate, and you kind of wished you could disappear from the room. Maybe this was their way of reconciling with one another; they <em>were </em>very close and have known each other for so long, but it felt like more than just friends. </p><p>Akaashi turned back to you after Bokuto was out of sight. “Sorry about that.”</p><p>“Why? Don’t be sorry… Are you guys okay?” </p><p>“Yes. Or we will be, don’t worry about it. Why don’t you head out to your office hours? I don’t want you to do poorly on your test.” You stood from the desk and grabbed your bag. As you passed him, you stood on your toes to place a kiss on his cheek before heading out the door. </p><hr/><p>The sound of shoes squeaking against the floor, men yelling to one another, and the slamming of leather onto wood were not sounds you were familiar with. As you approached the gym, you felt the small pit in your stomach begin to bloom into an abyss of anxiety. Was it okay to ambush Bokuto after practice like this? You wanted to talk with him alone, but that would be impossible at the apartment he shared with Akaashi. Other than that, it seemed the two ate lunch together every day, so that was out of the question as well.</p><p>You weren’t sure what Akaashi was nervous to tell you the other night, but you stopped caring once the two of you started having sex and his hands... Everything felt great, it seemed like he knew exactly how your body worked and he responded to every indication of pleasure. </p><p>After your date the following day, you wondered what would become of your relationship. The two of you had been seeing one another for about two months, finally had sex, and… now what? Were you dating? Was he your boyfriend? When was a good time to have that conversation? You didn’t want to be too pushy, but you also wondered why he had never brought up the concept of exclusivity. He didn’t seem like the type to hook up with random people and you never saw him with anyone else but Bokuto.</p><p>It seemed like an okay idea to ask him after class during his office hours, but he knew how to fluster you too well and you lost your nerve. That and Bokuto entering the office and stumbling upon your <em>activities </em>made the moment slip by. Bokuto seemed a little sad seeing you and Akaashi together and it made you wonder if he thought you weren’t good enough for his best friend. </p><p>You <em>really </em>liked Akaashi and wanted to know what everything meant to him: what he needed to share with you and then suddenly didn’t, the way he could turn his seduction on and off like a switch, and every other act of intimacy you had experienced with him. What he needed to tell you couldn’t have been unimportant, he made you wait for a whole two months before sex! Maybe he wasn’t interested in that kind of relationship and he wasn’t going to ask you to be his girlfriend. Perhaps that was what he was trying to tell you before you took that next step so you could decide before it was too late. But if that was the case, he definitely <em>would </em>have told you, right? </p><p>You needed some advice about this but weren’t sure who to ask. Your roommate seemed like a bad choice. She and her boyfriend had been on and off for the past three years and had sex on the first night - not that that was a bad thing, just <em>very </em>different from your current situation. You didn’t particularly care about her sex life or when she chose to have sex, but her relationship didn’t seem like something you could learn from. Besides that, the last time you talked to her about Akaashi, she just accused him of having a small dick. It wasn’t small… it was great… really great.  </p><p>Bokuto was going to be the best person to ask. The two had been friends for years, best friends. Surely he would be able to provide some advice about how to approach this conversation with Akaashi as well as what he thought, the types of girls he’s dated in the past, what kind of person he was like in a relationship, everything. Bokuto would be the perfect person to give you insight. </p><p>The only issue was, he seemed very upset - almost angry? - after you spent the night with Akaashi. And in Akaashi’s office, he still wouldn’t make eye contact with you. There was enough tension between him and Akaashi, you weren’t sure if they were upset with one another or if he was annoyed with you. Akaashi said that he had heard Bokuto have sex before, so it shouldn’t be a big deal. Then why was it? For two guys who were best friends, would something like that set Bokuto off? </p><p>Or maybe, he didn’t actually like you. He always seemed pleasant, you’ve eaten lunch with him a few times and had conversations with him while Akaashi was working on grading assignments and needed quiet. He was really funny and polite, he was different from Akaashi but also similar in his responsiveness to your needs, offering you tea or other food when you came over to their apartment, asking about your exams that you talked about in previous conversations, and he even let you borrow one of his sweatshirts when he noticed you were cold in their apartment. Was none of that real? </p><p>Regardless, you decided that you wanted to talk to him, at least to apologize if he was upset about the noise from the other night and the most recent encounter in Akaashi’s office. And perhaps he could give you some insight into how Akaashi worked. He was still a mystery and you only really learned things about him through Bokuto or by chance. </p><p>You waited outside the gym, reading through your assignments while the practice continued. Eventually, you heard the coach blow a whistle and announce that they were done, and the sounds of shuffling, nets being cleared, and items being put away indicated that it would soon be time for you to confront Bokuto. Nerves festered in your chest as you thought about what you would say and his reaction to your questions. He might not want to talk to you at all and may blow you off. Or maybe he would be angry and tell you off. Either option seemed scary, but you didn’t imagine a scenario where he would listen to your questions calmly and actually help you. </p><p>Now thinking about it, coming to his practice seemed stupid and rash. You packed up your books and stood from the bench next to the gym to leave. This was something you were going to have to face on your own, asking Akaashi about his true feelings and what he was looking for. It wasn’t going to be easy, but you knew it had to be done. </p><p>“What are you doing here?” you heard a voice behind you and felt a hand come down on your shoulder. You span around to look at post-practice Bokuto, sweaty and shining in all his glory. His hair was messy and drooped a little from his sweat, and his shirt showed pools of perspiration around the neck and center of his chest. You noticed the black fabric on his legs and recognized them as the material Akaashi had handed to him earlier. On closer inspection, they seemed to be some sort of compression sleeve, not just leggings. </p><p>“See ya later, Bo-kun,” yelled a man heading toward the nearby parking lot, snapping you back to reality. </p><p>“Yeah,” he replied and then turned his attention back to you. “Was there something you needed?” </p><p>“Um, well… I’m sorry,” you blurted out, not sure what else to say. </p><p>“Huh?” </p><p>“I’m sorry for the other night, it was inconsiderate of me. An athlete like you needs decent sleep and I probably disrupted your sleep schedule and ruined your practice; you could have been so tired that you didn’t stretch properly and pulled a muscle and it would have been all my fault.” The words fell out faster than you could understand what you were actually saying. “And today in Akaashi’s office, it seemed like you needed to talk to him and I was in the way and I made things super uncomfortable. I don’t want to be responsible for ruining your friendship, so please forgive me,” you practically screamed, ending with a bow in front of him, your eyes focused on the ground. </p><p>He was quiet for a moment before he leaned down to put his face in front of yours and you turned your head up to look at him. He looked a bit confused and entertained at the same time. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>You stood up, your eyes still downcast, a creeping blush spreading across your face. You didn’t want to spell it out for him, but maybe this meant he wasn’t actually mad at you? “Um… the other night… I’m guessing you heard us… you know?” you drifted off toward the end. </p><p>His face turned red in what you guessed was a second-hand embarrassment. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from you, also not wanting to make eye contact. “It’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it.” His shoulders seemed to tense up, his jaw was held tight. </p><p>“Are you sure? You seemed pretty upset the next morning. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”</p><p>“I’m fine.” You weren’t convinced but didn’t want to risk pushing him any further. </p><p>“Can we talk?” you asked. </p><p>“About?”</p><p>You looked down again, feeling like you were asking way too much of this man who clearly did not care for you. But he was the only person who would be able to shed any light, provide some insight, into the inner workings of Akaashi Keiji. “I need your help. I know it’s not fair to ask you for this, but I wanted to talk to you about Akaashi.” </p><p>“No.” He adjusted his bag on his shoulder and began to turn away. You reached out grabbing his wrist to stop him. </p><p>“Bokuto, please. I know you’re probably not my biggest fan right now, but you’re literally the only person who can help me.” </p><p>“You could always talk to ‘Kashi - a concept,” he said, not turning around. Okay, he definitely did not like you. </p><p>“Please. I’m desperate. You’re the only person who knows him intimately - I think you probably know him better than he knows himself. I’m sure you’re not interested in giving me advice, but I could really use it.” </p><p>He sighed through his nose and his features softened a bit as he took in your desperation. You gave your best “puppy-dog eyes” in hopes that he would eventually cave and help you, but your hopes were not high. </p><p>“I’m going to shower. Meet me in the union and we can grab some food and talk.” He turned, pulling his hand away from you, and walked toward the athletic facilities. You couldn’t help the large smile growing on your face as you took in his fading form, and you practically ran to the student union and waited for him to arrive. </p><p>About thirty minutes later, you noticed Bokuto walk into the dining area, scouting the tables for you. You waved your hand to catch his attention and he walked over, placed his bag on the ground, and took a seat. His hair looked a little damp still and not in his normal spiked style. You couldn’t help but think that he looked very cute with the wisps of hair gracing the high plains of his face, some falling around his golden eyes. </p><p>“Food?” he asked. </p><p>“Oh, um… I didn’t get any. I didn’t know what you would want.” </p><p>“No, I meant, what did you want? I didn’t expect you to just buy me food. That would be pretty rude,” he laughed. “They sell onigiri in the one little shop across the hall, how does that sound?” You gave him a quick nod before he stood up. “Do you have any preferences?”</p><p>“No, but here,” you said, handing him your credit card. </p><p>“Nah, I got it.” He walked to the small shop, leaving you to nervously twiddle your thumbs. He returned a few minutes later with food and your favorite green tea. </p><p>“You didn’t have to get me a drink,” you said, taking the food from him. “How did you know I liked this green tea?”</p><p>“That’s the kind ‘Kashi always gets for you, isn’t it? Or did I get the wrong one?” he asked, taking his seat across from you. </p><p>“It’s the right one, thank you. You’re very perceptive, Bokuto!”</p><p>“Thanks,” he murmured, a small blush on his cheeks. “So what did you need help with?” He started to eat his food, ready to listen to your questions, even if he seemed reluctant. </p><p>“Right, well… I’m not even sure how to ask this but… I’m just a little confused about where I stand with Akaashi and I was hoping you would be able to provide some insight into his past relationships or, like, what kinds of people he’s dated, how he acts in a relationship. I mean, I don’t even know if we’re exclusive, it’s not something either of us has brought up, and… I’m not sure that’s something he wants.” You looked at Bokuto, hoping you didn’t sound crazy. The look on his face was something you couldn’t quite decipher; he almost looked sad and fascinated at the same time, but that didn’t make sense. </p><p>“I’m not sure if I’m the best person to go to. I think you’re going to have to have a serious talk with ‘Kashi about some of these things, y’know?”</p><p>“Yeah, I was just hoping you might be able to share something with me, anything, so I know I’m not crazy. I like him, a lot.”</p><p>Bokuto took a sip from his drink and then looked down at the table before responding. “Listen, ‘Kashi has never really been great at expressing his feelings. Whether he is happy or upset or interested in someone, he tends to keep those emotions to himself. He’s always been that way, at least since I’ve known him. It’s not easy to be in a relationship with him because, although he holds a lot of those emotions close, he also feels so deeply, more deeply than probably you or me. He needs reassurance and patience.” </p><p>You watched as he talked so passionately about Akaashi, knowing that in every relationship or breakup, Bokuto must have been the one by his side to help pick up the pieces and provide empathy and support. </p><p>“But, at the end of the day,” he continued, “<em> you </em>need to talk to him. Let him know how you feel and process together. I think that’s the best course moving forward.” </p><p>“Thank you.”</p><p>“Is that all you needed?” he asked, picking at his food.</p><p>“I mean, anything you’re willing to share with me would be helpful,” you laughed a little. “Akaashi is like a puzzle sometimes, you know? Like a book written with white ink. I feel like I know nothing about him and the only things I’ve learned are from him just casually dropping information or from you. The two of you know each other so well. Okay, um, what kinds of girls has he dated in the past?”</p><p>Bokuto’s eyebrows furrowed and he scrunched his face a little at the question, perhaps a sore topic? “Manipulative ones,” he stated with an unusual venom in his voice. </p><p>“Oh,” you said, a little caught off guard by the response. “I didn’t realize how bad some of his past relationships were. I guess that’s why you’re pretty protective of him.” </p><p>“Excuse me?” He looked up, eyes narrowed a little making you feel a bit nervous under his gaze. </p><p>“I didn’t mean anything by it. I just meant that you care a lot about him and that, you… um, I felt bad about the last time we saw each other. That’s why I wanted to apologize for that night. I am sorry. I’m sorry if I upset you, I mean it.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“‘Why’ what?” you looked at him quizzically. </p><p>“Why does it matter if I’m upset or not?”</p><p>You paused for a moment, unsure how to proceed at first. You took a breath and looked into his eyes. “You’re important, that’s why.”</p><p>“What?” It wasn’t a sarcastic or angry question, it was a genuine sentiment of confusion, almost sadness. He seemed a little perplexed. You noticed his shoulders droop a little, his eyebrows caved, and his eyes looked dim… but hopeful? </p><p>“You’re important, Bokuto. Your Akaashi’s <em>best friend</em>. You know him better than I ever will; think about all the information you were just able to give to me. Your opinion of me means... <em> everything</em>. If I were to ever come between you two, then I don’t think I would be able to stay with Akaashi. Even if that makes me sad or angry or… whatever. <em> You </em>matter, and I’m sorry if I did something that made you feel like you didn’t.” </p><p>He was quiet and still. He looked as if he didn’t fully believe you, but you wanted to make him understand that you cared about him and his opinion. You tried to think of something that would convince him. </p><p>“I’m going to have a conversation with Akaashi like you’ve advised - thank you. But, I think I’m realizing that both you and Akaashi are a packaged deal. You’re always going to be by his side, no matter what, even if things don’t work out with him and me. So in the meantime, I want to make sure <em>our </em>relationship is something we work on too. Okay?” </p><p>He blushed, his eyes widening as you talked. It looked like you were getting through to him. “Thank you,” he murmured. “I can understand why Ji likes you so much. He always had a habit of going for someone who is a bit empathic. I guess it’s probably intentional. Just, um, do me a favor? Be good to him, he deserves it.”</p><p>You smiled at Bokuto, feeling as if you had accomplished your goal. You were going to have to suck it up and talk to Akaashi, he was probably not going to take the initiative. “Thank you Bokuto. I feel a lot better now. Maybe he will feel comfortable telling me his secret?”</p><p>“Hm?” </p><p>“Akaashi was trying to tell me something - he seemed nervous about it. I told him I didn’t care what it was, but it seemed to be something that he was really scared to divulge. He asked me to keep an open mind. You wouldn’t have any idea what it is, would you?”</p><p>Bokuto looked terrified all of the sudden and focused intently on his drink to avoid eye contact. “You’re going to have to ask him about that. I wouldn’t be able to help you.” </p><p>“So you do know what it is?” you asked, feeling a little excited, but partially nervous based on Bokuto’s reaction. “You don’t have to tell me, I know this is Akaashi’s story to tell but is it that <em>bad</em>? He thinks I might run away or something.” </p><p>“Um… you just <em>really </em>need to talk to Ji, I shouldn’t say anything, you know? I would feel bad if I accidentally told you. We should stop talking.” </p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you nervous. You really are a good friend, you know? It’s like you guys have your own language.” You thought back to their interaction in Akaashi’s office, their conversations with one another, and how they seemed to be so at ease when they were together. If you didn’t know better, you would think they were in a relationship. </p><p>Then it dawned on you as you looked back at Bokuto’s blushing face and the way he began to bite the nail on his thumb. He returned your gaze when he noticed you were staring at him. </p><p>“You called him ‘Ji,’” you stated. Bokuto just looked at you, not really understanding what you meant. “Twice, actually. You called Akaashi ‘Ji,’ as in Keiji.” Bokuto waited for you to elaborate further. “Bokuto, are you in love with Akaashi?” His eyes grew wide and he drew his thumb away from his mouth, opting to bite his lower lip instead. You could see him swallow hard and suddenly you dreaded what answer he was going to give you. </p><p>“I… um,” he started, opening and closing his mouth a few times. He seemed panicked, maybe that said enough. “I really think you need to talk to ‘Kashi and-”</p><p>“What are you guys up to?” you jumped a little and looked to your left, noticing Akaashi standing at your table. You were so focused on Bokuto, you had not heard him approach. He stood next to the table with a curious expression on his face. “I didn’t realize you two were buddies now. What are you guys eating?” He placed his bag on the ground and reached for his wallet in his back pocket. </p><p>Bokuto stood from the table, a little too quickly, rousing a skeptical look from Akaashi. “I was just heading out. I wanted to keep Y/N company for a bit. But now that you’re here, I guess I’m not needed,” he rubbed the back of his head and forced a laugh. “I’ll head back to the apartment, see ya later.” </p><p>“Okay… I’m going to stop by the market before going home, we’re out of eggs. Let me know if you need me to grab anything for you.” </p><p>“I think I’m good, but I’ll let you know.”</p><p>“‘Kay. I’ll be right back, that looks good,” he said gesturing to your food. “I think I’ll grab some for myself.” Akaashi leaned over and placed a kiss on your cheek before heading to the small shop. Both you and Bokuto watched his receding form silently. </p><p>“Yes,” Bokuto said so quietly, you almost didn’t hear him. You turned to look at him, his eyes still fixed on Akaashi’s path. He didn’t elaborate, but you felt a little nauseous knowing exactly what he meant. “And you better treat him well, okay? He’s a lot more delicate than he thinks.” </p><p>He picked up his bag and left the union without another word, you sat quietly waiting for Akaashi to return with his food. You weren’t sure what exactly to think. Did you have to be worried about Bokuto? He didn’t seem like the type to meddle in someone else’s relationship and he and Akaashi had been friends for so long, it <em>had </em>to be a one-sided interest. Right? He was able to give details about Akaashi’s past with women and what kind of person he was when dating someone. </p><p>Did Bokuto and Akaashi use to be involved with one another? That could explain the natural intimacy they seemed to share, but they never got too close when you were around. And you have never actually asked Akaashi about his sexuality; he could identify as bisexual, or pansexual, or maybe just not identify as anything? </p><p>Or maybe Akaashi was just placating Bokuto to avoid hurting his feelings? But he wouldn’t do that, he wouldn’t drag someone along if he didn’t have feelings for them. He was too honest, and frankly, too blunt of a person to allow someone to just pine aimlessly after him. You could imagine middle school Akaashi being the kind to reject girls right to their faces with an apathetic look on his face after receiving a heartfelt confession. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” Akaashi asked as he returned to the table, instantly clearing ridding you of your thoughts.</p><p>“Oh, nothing, I was just thinking about something stupid.” He took the seat next to you and began to eat. </p><p>“I’m sure it’s not stupid, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. Did you want to come over tonight? We can do some work and then watch a movie.” </p><p>“Sure, that sounds great,” you responded, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. He took your hand in his and gave it a little squeeze before running his thumb along the knuckles. You looked over into his eyes - he wore a small, polite smile like usual, but it didn’t reach his sea-green eyes that seemed both distant and restless. </p><p>You and Akaashi arrived at his apartment about an hour later after stopping by a local convenience store for eggs and milk. You heard music from Bokuto’s room, the door was closed and no other lights in the apartment were on. Despite visiting their apartment several times, you suddenly felt like an intruder and became hyper-aware of every piece of furniture, the books, the shoes on the ground, everything. </p><p>“How were the office hours?” Akaashi asked, toeing his shoes off at the front door. “Do you have any assignments to work on or a study guide for your test?”</p><p>“Hm? Oh, um, no. I was able to get that done. I just have some reading to do.” </p><p>“Alright, I just have a few more pages on this draft and then we can watch a movie or something. Do you want takeout?”</p><p>“Sounds good to me.” You took a seat on the couch, waiting for Akaashi to join you as you pulled out a book for your class. You heard Bokuto’s door open and you turned to look at him. The two of you locked eyes on each other for just a moment before he walked over to the front door. </p><p>“Kuroo just got into town, I’m going to pick him up at the train station and we’ll probably grab a beer or something,” he said to Akaashi. </p><p>“I thought you were staying in tonight.”</p><p>“Plans changed,” Bokuto replied, he threw a small glance in your direction. </p><p>“Okay, we’re going to get takeout in a bit. Did you want me to put in an order for the two of you?”</p><p>“Nah, we’ll probably get something on the way back. Thanks, though,” he responded pulling his shoes on. </p><p>“Where is Kuroo going to sleep?” </p><p>“Ah, he could stay in my room or on the couch. We can figure it out later. I’ll see you when I get back.” </p><p>“Okay, bring a jacket in case it gets cold.”</p><p>“Okay, Mom,” Bokuto replied sarcastically, grabbing a coat from a hook near the door. He headed out the door and Akaashi took his spot on the couch next to you, laptop in hand. He began working on his paper, hands moving swiftly over the keys. </p><p>“Kuroo is your friend from the pictures, right?” you asked. </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>“Where is he now?”</p><p>“Osaka. He used to go to school with Bokuto but got hired at a sports agency during their second year before I started university. He decided to finish his degree online while working full time.”</p><p>“That’s pretty cool…” You felt a little awkward as if Akaashi wasn’t super thrilled about his friend coming to visit. “Do you not like Kuroo?”</p><p>“Hm? He’s mostly Bokuto’s friend. He didn’t go to our school and they knew each other from volleyball before I met either of them. He’s fine, he’s a good guy.” </p><p>“Wait a minute, don’t you guys have a third bedroom? Why would he sleep on the couch?” Akaashi closed his laptop and breathed out of his nose, clearly annoyed at your questions. </p><p>He turned to look at you, “You’re very invested in Kuroo, is there anything else you would like to know about him?” </p><p>“Sorry… I just, um… Well, I’ve only ever seen you hang out with Bokuto so I was interested in learning about your other friends. I thought it might give me some more insight into how you operate. Sometimes… it’s hard to read you.” </p><p>His eyes softened a bit and he looked away slightly ashamed. “I’m sorry, that was rude of me. Kuroo is Bokuto’s ex. They are still friends, we were all friends, but sometimes he gets on my nerves. The two of them together are a bit much at times.”</p><p>“Oh, I see,” you started, “Is that why you asked about sleeping arrangements? You don’t want Bokuto to get hurt? Did they have a bad break up or something?” </p><p>“Something like that.” </p><p>You turned on the couch to face Akaashi fully, he turned his attention to you as you took his hands in yours. “Akaashi, I have to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me, okay?”</p><p>“Um, okay.” His brows knit together and he bit his lip as you stared directly into his eyes. </p><p>“Akaashi, did you and Bokuto use to date one another?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for the reads, kudos, and comments! I love seeing them and responding! I just started a new Twitter to separate my life a little. Feel free to follow me @jodeeds and let me know your thoughts or suggestions on recent or future chapters!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Floating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Akaashi, I like you. I’ve liked you for a while now and I don’t know how you feel about me. I can’t ever tell how you’re feeling in general. I like having lunch with you, I like watching you read. I like when you try to smooth down your hair when you think it looks too messy, but it’s actually really cute. And I like when you guide my serves because you’re close to me. Is there any part of you that likes me at all?”</p><p>Akaashi was silent for a moment, his hands tangling together behind his back as he thought about the right words to say.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, folks! Just over 1000 reads, that's so cool! Thanks for the support and for the folks who have been engaging in the comments. It's been really cool to read your thoughts each week and they always make my day. I have so many pages of notes for how I want the rest of the story to progress, and I am excited to see how y'all like it! </p><p>Once I get a few more chapters ahead, I am going to be starting some drafts on another Bkak fic inspired by @temari_AM (Twitter) and their tango art. Go check them out, they are so talented! If you ever wonder how I picture Akaashi and Bokuto, those are my references. </p><p>If you ever want to connect elsewhere, catch me @jodeeds on Twitter. Thanks again for the support!</p><p>This chapter will feature the introduction of an OC, some high school Akaashi, and distance Bkak relationship vibes.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Who’s that?” Onoga asked during the team’s break. The boy’s volleyball club was running laps outside while the girl’s team practiced in the gym. Akaashi saw the need to improve his team’s stamina, but he also cursed the heat and humidity that day as he gulped down his water, small streams running through the corners of his mouth and onto his shirt. He turned to look in the direction Onoga was referring to inside the open door of the gym. Scanning the room, he found the only face he was not familiar with. </p><p>She was pretty tall, maybe a little under 180 centimeters, and she wore her long brown hair in a braid down her back, a headband on top to keep any strays out of her face. He watched as she prepared for a serve, tossing the ball into the air and leaping up to meet it; her arms and shoulders stretched back with poised power before the sound of skin striking leather echoed off the walls and the ball landed in a perfect position in the corner of the opposing side.</p><p>She was an impressive athlete by any standards, and she knew it based on the glint in her eyes as she watched the ball land and clenched her fist. “That’s Talia Ota,” Anahori answered a question Akaashi had long forgotten. “She just transferred here, she’s in my class.” </p><p>“A second-year like us, huh? Maybe I should introduce myself. Where did she transfer from?” Onoga asked. </p><p>“Russia. I think her dad is in the military or something and was stationed there. I don’t remember.”</p><p>“Transfering in during your second year? That has to be tough. And from another country, too.” </p><p>Akaashi had tuned them out, he was fixated on the figure in front of him, blatantly staring as she returned to her team, taking a water bottle from the manager and listening to the feedback from their coach. She had a presence about her that Akaashi felt drawn to and couldn’t tell why, but he had the urge to get to know her better. </p><p>Talia turned her head and locked eyes with Akaashi, causing him to panic and turn away. When he looked back, she was still gazing in his direction. He noticed her eyes - the vibrant honey-brown color with a dark center - sweep over his form before raising an eyebrow and turning back to her team. </p><p><em> Did she just size me up? </em> Akaashi thought to himself. </p><p>“Okay, break time’s over, time for speed drills,” the boys’ coach called causing them to groan before returning to their practice. Akaashi continued to replay Talia’s form in his mind throughout the rest of the drills, causing his reaction time to be a little slower than normal. </p><p>After practice, Akaashi made his way to the gym to practice his serves and sets. The lights were still on, something out of the ordinary as Akaashi was usually the last to leave - a habit he developed from late practice sessions with Bokuto. As he got closer to the gym, he could hear the sounds of a volleyball hitting the floor aggressively. He opened the door to see Talia alone, a basket of balls close behind her in preparation for her next serve.</p><p>Once again, Akaashi was taken with the smoothness of her form and how powerful the serve was considering the fluidity of her motions. But something seemed a little off from the first time he watched her serve. The ball landed in the middle of the opposite court; if there were players there, it would have been easily received. He could see a look of annoyance on her face as she grabbed another ball and prepared for her next serve. Again, it landed in a similar position. </p><p>So here was her Achilles heel - consistency. The next serve was perfect, right on the line, a difficult spot. And then another landing in the middle of the court, and another, and another. Akaashi watched silently, trying to find the difference between the better serves and the inconsistent ones. </p><p>“I can leave if you want to use the gym,” she said, taking Akaashi by surprise. “I don’t think I’m going to fix this tonight.” </p><p>“I wouldn’t be so sure. Serve again,” Akaashi responded. She looked at him a little bemused before shrugging her shoulders and setting up her serve. It landed in the middle of the court, Akaashi could hear Talia curse under her breath. </p><p>“See?” </p><p>“Again.” </p><p>“Really?” He nodded, taking a seat on the floor, studying her movements. The next serve hit the corner line perfectly. “Yes! That one was good, right?”</p><p>“Again.”</p><p>“You could have praised me a little, at least.”</p><p>Huffing, Talia grabbed another ball, set herself up, and served, sending the ball in a poor position. She looked at Akaashi for guidance. When he offered nothing, she grabbed another ball and served again. </p><p>Talia continued, occasionally hitting the corner in a great spot, but most of the time sending the ball out of bounds or right in the center of the court. When the basket was empty, without a word, Akaashi stood, taking the basket with him, and collected the discarded balls before returning to Talia’s side of the court. She watched him quietly, chewing on the skin of her thumb and he walked around the gym silently. </p><p>“Again,” he said, handing a ball to her and taking a few steps back. She took it and prepared to serve. The ball hit in the spot she wanted it to, and she smiled and looked back at Akaashi, hoping he would be able to lend some guidance. </p><p>“So, what am I doing wrong? Why can’t I always serve like that?”</p><p>“When you mess up a serve, what do you do?” he asked instead of answering her question. </p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“Do you try to make alterations in any way?”</p><p>She thought about it for a moment. “I sometimes spread my hand a little more - just a little - or arch my palm. But I’m not sure if it does anything. And I feel like I just go back to a flat hand eventually, so I don’t think that matters.” </p><p>“Anything else?” he asked. She looked at him searching for the answer he was hoping for, but couldn’t quite find it. She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. “Your feet,” Akaashi offered. </p><p>Talia waited for him to elaborate, and when he didn’t she prodded for a better explanation. “What about my feet?” </p><p>“They’re inconsistent in terms of the steps you take when preparing for a serve. When you hit a serve in a good position, you’re taking a nice stride with your right leg, then a quick left, right. But when you hit in a bad position, your first step is a little short, causing you to take an extra step which then throws off your angle since you’re right-handed. You need to mark your steps better, that’s all.” </p><p>“That’s it? I learned that in middle school. My serves suck because I don’t know how to walk?”</p><p>“They don’t suck, they’re just not consistent. Maybe it’s just a new gym, new school, new country? Anything could throw your game off. I knew someone who would have an off day based on the arena we played in or what protein bar was available in the vending machine.” Akaashi thought back to the days when he would have to cheer Bokuto up because he misplaced his lucky charm or he missed a spike and thought the team would lose because of him. Some days, he didn’t mind the methods used to cheer him up.</p><p>“You’re talking about Bokuto Koutarou, aren’t you?” Akaashi raised an eyebrow in question, wondering how Talia would know about Bokuto if she had been living in another country for the past however many years. “Sorry, that sounds creepy of me. When my dad told me he got new orders and we would be going back to Japan, he let me have a say in the school, as long as I could get in. I wanted to go to a school with a good volleyball team. I know the boy’s and girl’s teams are not coached by the same person, but I figured I would do well here after seeing you guys in the nationals. You’re Akaashi, right? My name’s Ota, um, Talia. I’m not really used to the last names first thing.” </p><p>She extended her hand, a shy look on her face accented by a blush on her cheeks. Akaashi took it and gave her a polite smile. “Akaashi Keiji. It’s nice to meet you. Let me know if you need any more help - volleyball or getting adjusted to school. It can be a weird transition.” He turned to walk away, grabbing his bag by the door. </p><p>“Wait, didn’t you come here to practice? I can head out so you can have the gym to yourself if you’d like. You’ve been such a big help, I appreciate it.” She stood for a second, quiet, scoffing her foot against the gym floor and averting her eyes.<br/>“You can stay, it would be easier to have someone to set to and we could work on your serves a little more.” </p><p>“All right, ‘Kashi, let’s do it!” Talia said, grabbing a ball from the basket. He paused and gave her a quizzical look for a moment, causing her to tuck the ball under her arm and rub the back of her neck nervously. “Sorry, I don’t have to call you that if you don’t like it.”</p><p>“No, it’s fine. Let’s begin.” </p><p>It wasn’t long before Akaashi found himself having lunch with Talia more often than not; they found a comfortable spot under a shady tree close to the main building on campus. They discussed various volleyball strategies, their favorite teams, and chances at a national title. Akaashi didn’t notice the way Talia looked at him as he ate his bento or leafed through a book, writing notes in the margins. </p><p>“Do you want to come to my house this weekend to do some homework and work on serves?” she asked one day. The leaves were beginning to fall from the trees and autumn was fast approaching. It was still quite warm, but the threat of cooler conditions loomed around the corner. “I want to nail the float serve, but I’m still having some issues. I could sure use your keen eye, Akaashi.” </p><p>“I can’t,” he replied, not lifting his eyes from his book, pen tucked neatly into his ear. “I’m visiting a friend for their birthday this weekend and I’ll be out of town.” </p><p>Talia rolled over from her back to her stomach to look at Akaashi, her face resting in between her hands. “Who’s your friend?” she asked suggestively, wiggling her eyebrows up and down. </p><p>“Bokuto-san. He attends university a few hours from here. His birthday is next week so I’m going to take the train this weekend to see him. He has a game the following weekend, he’ll be too busy then.” </p><p>“Is that where you always go when you disappear for the weekend? You two seem to be pretty close. I guess that makes sense, you probably spent a lot of time together for practice and whatnot. Would you say he’s your best friend?”</p><p>“Yes, why do you ask?” </p><p>“No reason.” The warning bell tolled signaling the end of the meal period. Akaashi and Talia packed up their items and headed into the building for their next class. Once at his desk, one of Akaashi’s classmates approached him. </p><p>“Hey Akaashi, are you and that second-year dating?”</p><p>“Huh? Do you mean Talia? No. Why?”</p><p>“You guys hang out all the time and she’s always giving you those googly eyes.”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Akaashi deadpanned, pulling out his notebook and pen to ready himself for the lesson. “We’re just good friends.”</p><p>“‘Friends,’ huh? Then you wouldn’t mind if I asked her out, would you?” </p><p>“Knock yourself out.”</p><hr/><p>“Happy birthday, ‘Kashi!” Talia beamed at lunchtime holding out a small box. The weather became much too cold to continue eating outside, they instead opted for a stairwell off of the P.E. gym near their class. It was a quiet space that most didn’t travel through as the stairs only led to upper seating for the gym and then the roof. </p><p>“How did you know it was my birthday?” Akaashi asked, his eyebrow raised at the box in her hand. </p><p>“I asked one of your teammates. Lucky for me it was coming up. I’m not sure what I would have done if it had already passed or if it were in the summer. Here, it’s chocolate. I made it myself.” </p><p>Akaashi slowly took the box and unwrapped the packaging around it. Inside, there were little chocolates filled with various creams. He looked back up at Talia and then down at the box. “Thank you, this is very kind of you. But… um…” He felt his cheeks heat up a little, the only person who had given him anything homemade before was Bokuto. </p><p>For their anniversary, in addition to dinner at their usual spot, Bokuto had made Akaashi lemon squares. Bokuto was surprisingly a very good baker. Akaashi was taken aback when he unwrapped the package and saw the neatly cubed treats, they seemed so unlike something Bokuto would make. He claimed one of his sisters helped him, both of them knew about their relationship. </p><p>“It’s not a confession, Akaashi. I just wanted to do something nice for you because you’ve helped me so much with my serve. It’s way more consistent now than when I moved here. And I think that practicing spikes with you has helped me improve my cross-shot, too. Your tosses are the best! No wonder why you’re one of the best setters in the country.” </p><p>They sat on the stairs together, eating their bentos and discussing their upcoming games. Talia’s smile seemed to grow a little wider as Akaashi ate the first chocolate and declared that it tasted good. </p><p>“Do you think you’ll continue with volleyball in college, Akaashi?”</p><p>“Probably not, unless I get some sort of scholarship that will cover my tuition. But I have pretty decent grades, so I don’t need to worry about that.”</p><p>“That’s a shame, you’re really good. I bet you could go pro one day.” </p><p>Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Sure.” Akaashi, still enamored by the gift, felt a little pang in his chest, unsure of how to take the compliment. Others had asked often if he and Talia were a couple and he never noticed the way his classmates <em>claimed </em>she looked at him, but something felt different. Something he could not put his finger on. </p><p>“I’m serious, you’re great! So anyway, what are your big plans for your birthday? We could go see a movie or go grab some food at that new ramen place. Or, I know, I could make you some <em>pirozhki</em>, I know my grandma’s recipe by heart,” she exclaimed, excitement dripping in her tone as she placed her hand on Akaashi’s forearm. It was warm and soft. </p><p>“I’m going to see Bokuto-san. We have plans.”</p><p>“Oh, okay, no worries. Maybe another time then.” She slowly withdrew her hand, taking the soothing heat with her. </p><p>“Maybe. Do you want one? They’re good,” Akaashi offered Talia one of the chocolates. </p><p>She shook her head. “You seem to visit Bokuto a lot. You must be good friends.” </p><p>“Yeah. Why do you ask again?”</p><p>“No reason. When’s your next game?”</p><p>“Next Friday. It should be a pretty easy match, though.”</p><p>“Cool, maybe I’ll swing by after ours finishes.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><hr/><p>“Hey, Akaashi, will you help me with my jump float serve? It’s still a little off.” Akaashi looked down at his phone while Talia stood at the net. He thought a few times about what he was going to send to Bokuto, but everything was still feeling a little weird. He read and reread the text messages over again, but still felt a little sick when he thought about the fact that Bokuto and Kuroo would continue their relationship without him. That wasn’t right. Not sick, angry.</p><p>He knew Kuroo and could imagine how he would touch Bokuto or kiss him, and it made Akaashi jealous. He didn’t want to admit it, but he didn’t like the idea of them staying together, even though he had permitted it. He wanted to take it back and tell Bokuto that he didn’t want them to continue to date, but he also knew that was much too selfish. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Bokuto:</b>
</p><p>Are you sure you’re okay with this? I can tell Kuroo you changed your mind. He might be annoyed at first but I’m sure he’ll get over it. He can be a dumbass rooster anyways. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. It’s okay if you don’t want us to date. Just let me know. I love you. </p><p> </p><p>Bokuto only typed out long sentences when he was nervous. He was looking for some assurance that Akaashi was truly okay with him and Kuroo continuing their relationship; Akaashi had to figure out how to lie well. He had left early Monday morning to make it back for his afternoon class and sent the message not long after he had boarded the train, Akaashi guessed. He would have to make up some excuse that he did not see the message while he was in class, but he was trying to think of a convincing response. </p><p>“Hello? Akaashi, did you hear me?” Talia asked, walking closer to Akaashi and waving her hand in front of his face. He looked up at her sudden closeness. “Would you be able to help me with my serve? I’m still having some issues and I could use your observational skills.” </p><p>“Sorry, I was just reading something. Yeah, go ahead.” He set his phone on the bench and turned his attention toward Talia. He watched her line up her stance before tossing the ball up and making contact but sending the ball into the net. </p><p>“Crap, some of them are good and some suck.” She looked at Akaashi with pleading eyes, hoping he would be able to provide the solution. </p><p>“Again.” She lined up a second, third, fourth, fifth time before Akaashi stood from the bench and approached her. “You’re tossing the ball too high. If you’re aiming for a float serve, you need to hit it right with your palm, but you keep sending it too high and you’re hitting it with the crease between your palm and fingers which is sending it downward. When you do the regular float serve, you seem to be fine. It’s when you add the jump that you’re sending it too high.” </p><p>“Well, how am I supposed to know how high to toss it when I’m jumping?” she asked, placing a hand on her hip. </p><p>“Toss it with the same amount of force you would if you were standing. You only want to toss it as high as your hitting arm can reach. Practice with just the standing float serve.” </p><p>“Okay, like this?” Talia asked sending the ball across the court a few times. Akaashi moved to view her hitting arm a little better. </p><p>“It’s still too high.” </p><p>“Can you show me how? Like guide me?” she asked, her eyes a little desperate.</p><p>“Um, sure. That’s fine.” He handed Talia a ball before taking a step behind her. He placed a hand under her left arm holding the ball and his other on her hitting arm’s shoulder. </p><p>“Okay, toss the ball in 3, 2, 1, go.” The sound of skin hitting leather resonated in the empty gym as the ball was sent over the net in a perfect position. “See where the ball hit your palm, that’s the spot you want each time,” Akaashi explained taking a step backward and dropping his hand from under Talia’s arm, his other hand still on her shoulder. </p><p>Talia turned to look at Akaashi, looking up at him with wide brown eyes. Akaashi removed his hand from her shoulder, taking a small step backward. Before Akaashi moved too far away, Talia closed the distance, pulling him in by his shoulders, and kissed him urgently. Her hands moved to his face and then wrapped around his neck before the kiss ended and the two parted. Their faces were centimeters apart, Talia had her eyes closed, breathing in Akaashi’s scent before her eyelids fluttered open. She was met with Akaashi’s cautious sea-green eyes staring at her, concerned? Angry? They were too hard to decipher. </p><p>“Oh crap, I’m so sorry,” she said, taking a step back, releasing her grip on Akaashi. “I shouldn’t have done that. I should have asked first. I’m really sorry.” </p><p>“It’s fine,” Akaashi said, his finger tracing his bottom lip. Talia still stared at him, a little scared. “I’m not upset. It… it was nice.” </p><p>“Nice?” </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Talia took a deep breath and stood as tall as she could. “Akaashi, I like you. I’ve liked you for a while now and I don’t know how you feel about me. I can’t ever tell how you’re feeling in general. I like having lunch with you, I like watching you read. I like when you try to smooth down your hair when you think it looks too messy, but it’s actually really cute. And I like when you guide my serves because you’re close to me. Is there any part of you that likes me at all?”</p><p>Akaashi was silent for a moment, his hands tangling together behind his back as he thought about the right words to say. Did he like Talia? Was that why he spent so much time with her? He and Kuroo just ended things, would it be stupid to jump into a new relationship so quickly? Would this be a relationship? And, most importantly, how would he tell her about the relationship he was still in? He struggled as he thought about a million scenarios in which Talia rejected him or called him a name or told everyone about him and Bokuto. There was no way he could be with her and <em>not </em>tell her that he already had a boyfriend. He also never had a girlfriend before, he never knew he would want one until she kissed him. </p><p>“Akaashi, please say something.”</p><p>Akaashi looked up at Talia, her honey-brown eyes nervous as they stared at him, her teeth biting deep into her bottom lip. Didn’t she understand that it wasn’t that simple? </p><p>“Things are… complicated… right now,” he replied, unsure of what else to say. </p><p>“What does that mean? You <em> don’t </em>like me?” </p><p>“No… um… that’s not it. I just got out of a relationship… kind of… and… um, well-”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were seeing anyone. I get it, relationships can be tough. I don’t want you to feel like you need to rush into anything. I can wait, that is, if you have feelings for me.” </p><p>“So… it’s not that simple,” Akaashi started. “I don’t want you to freak out, though. And, if I tell you, I need you to keep this between us, okay?”  </p><p>“Akaashi, is everything okay? Why would I freak out?” </p><p>“Promise me.” </p><p>“Okay, I promise.” Akaashi took a seat on the bench near the side of the court, Talia following behind him. He took a few deep breaths before making eye contact with her. She seemed genuinely concerned but remained quiet as Akaashi prepared himself. </p><p>“I was dating someone until recently. Um… he broke up with me,” Akaashi started, testing the waters a little to see Talia’s reaction. Her eyes grew a sliver wider as she began to understand his words. “However, I am still in a relationship with someone else. Do you understand?” </p><p>“You were cheating on your boyfriend? You’re gay? I’m sorry I kissed you, that was so stupid! No wonder you never showed any interest in me, I was practically throwing myself on you. And when I gave you those chocolates and had to pretend it <em>wasn’t </em>a confession, that was tough. I can’t believe-”</p><p>“Talia. I’m not gay.”</p><p>“What? You just talked about your boyfriend you’ve been cheating on.”</p><p>“I wasn’t cheating on him. I’m not cheating on him. We were part of a throuple.” </p><p>“Excuse me?” she looked at him extremely confused. “What is a throuple?” </p><p>“Let me start from the beginning,” Akaashi said. “I started dating Bokuto last year, kind of around the middle of summer, I guess, before his last year. Later, we decided to include Kuroo-san in our relationship, so the three of us were all dating each other, together, as one couple. Last weekend, Kuroo-san broke up with me but he and Bokuto are still dating… and I am also still dating Bokuto. Does that make sense?”</p><p>“No.” Akaashi paused, not sure how to elaborate the situation more without going into every detail of his relationship with both Bokuto and Kuroo, something he had no desire to do. “So Bokuto has two boyfriends,” Talia began,” and you just have one?” </p><p>“Yes.” </p><p>“But you’re not gay?”</p><p>“I’ve never dated a girl, but I guess I am attracted to them still. I just never had an interest in dating anyone other than Bokuto. To be honest, I never had an interest in dating anyone until I met him.”</p><p>“Was that the first time you kissed a girl?” </p><p>“Yeah, actually, it was.” </p><p>Talia folded in on herself, placing her head on her knees, and rocked back and forth. “I’m literally the worst. I’m so sorry, Akaashi. You’re probably going to hate me for the rest of my life. I’m so stupid. I should have taken a hint, I should have realized you had <em>zero </em>interest in me from the start. But now it’s too late and we’ll never be able to-”</p><p>Akaashi pulled Talia up to look at him before pulling her in for a kiss. After a moment, the tension in her shoulders began to melt and she pushed a little deeper into Akaashi, her hands moving to cup his face and then twist in his hair. Akaashi held onto Talia’s waist firmly, grounding her to the bench - possibly the only thing preventing her from floating away - before placing a hand on her bare thigh right below her shorts. His fingertips graced the material, playing with the hem as they continued to deepen the kiss; Akaashi swiped his tongue along Talia’s lip to which she responded instantly, parting them and allowing him entry. </p><p>After what could have been an eternity, Akaashi slowly pulled away, leaving one last lingering peck on Talia’s lips. Their words seemed lost in their lungs, the only sound in the gym was the quiet echo of their labored panting. Akaashi’s hand remained on her thigh, splayed fingers delicately tracing the smooth skin that resembled a different kind of softness than Bokuto’s - a powerful muscle coiled and ready to spring, now at the mercy of his touch. </p><p>“I wouldn’t say there is ‘<em> zero </em>’ interest,” Akaashi said, disrupting the steady flow of their chests heaving. </p><p>“You have a boyfriend, Akaashi. I still don’t understand what that means for us if I’m being honest. But I really like you.” </p><p>“Mine and Bokuto’s relationship is open. We can take some time to unpack what that means for you and me, but I like you too. I want to explore this.” </p><p>“Me too,” Talia said, leaning close to Akaashi and kissing his cheek gently. “I think it’s worth it, you’re worth it.”</p><hr/><p>Akaashi studied Bokuto’s hand wrapped in his own - his fingers had quite a bit of callous and several blisters that had popped recently due to the extra practices. Despite his hands being so rough in texture, a gentleness prevailed as they held each other close on Akaashi’s bed which felt smaller as Bokuto continued to grow larger.</p><p>Bokuto’s soft snores sang out into the air and the patter of his breaths tickled the back of Akaashi’s neck with each exhale. Akaashi lifted Bokuto’s hand and laid a kiss on the knuckle, leaving the two of them connected as he breathed in any part of Bokuto’s scent he could manage. He heard his partner stir behind him and wiggle closer to Akaashi, his chest pressed firmly against his back. He kissed Akaashi’s neck and curled his hand around his face, stroking his cheekbone with his thumb. </p><p>Akaashi rolled over to meet Bokuto’s sleepy golden eyes as he blinked exhaustion away with a smile. He tucked himself briefly under Akaashi’s chin and planted kisses along the base of his throat, his hair tickling Akaashi’s jaw, before working his way up to his lips and kissing him deeply. </p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” Akaashi whispered. </p><p>“Don’t be sorry. I shouldn’t sleep my visit away. What fun would that be? Did you want to get dinner soon? Or we could watch a movie, or just lay here,” Bokuto replied, circling his arm around Akaashi’s waist and pulling him closer; their legs intertwined and Akaashi silently reveled in the slow friction of his skin between Bokuto’s muscles. </p><p>“I don’t care, I just want to spend time with you. We’re not going to see each other for another month, so I want to make sure we just enjoy this time. I’m going to try to go to one of your games when you’re playing home.”</p><p>“You’ll make me nervous. Having my beautiful boyfriend in the stands cheering me on, how will I cope?”</p><p>“You give me too much credit,” Akaashi scoffed. “What makes you think I wouldn’t be critiquing every move you make and analyzing your team’s abilities? I’m not just some fangirl coming to watch the ‘Great Bokuto Koutarou’ slam balls down to the floor, you know?” </p><p>“I would be disappointed if you didn’t critique my form. I like when you give me feedback. But you know, feedback, praise, those come in several different methods.” Bokuto changed his position, moving onto his forearms and hovering over Akaashi. He began to kiss down his neck, lightly flicking his tongue along the skin as he moved.</p><p>“Kou, my parents are home,” Akaashi breathed out, Bokuto lingering on the sensitive spot between his jaw and ear. </p><p>“I guess we’ll have to be quiet then, won’t we?” Bokuto whispered suggestively, his hand skimming under Akaashi’s shirt, feeling his way up his abs, and landing on his nipple. He circled the bud with his middle finger, slowly, while continuing to kiss along Akaashi’s neck and jaw. </p><p>“You’re the one who doesn’t know how to be quiet, Kou. You’re always so loud when you make those lewd noises,” Akaashi teased. </p><p>Bokuto moved his head up for a moment to look at Akaashi’s face, a small pout gracing his features. “Am I loud? I’m just enjoying myself.” </p><p>“Don’t frown like that,” Akaashi reached his hand up to caress Bokuto’s face and laughed a little. “I like the sounds you make. Feedback, right? It lets me know I’m doing a good job.” Bokuto smiled and resumed his assault on Akaashi’s neck, eventually pulling him up to a sitting position so the two of them could remove their shirts. Akaashi’s hands worked over the firm muscles of Bokuto’s chest, growing larger with each session in the weight room, the stretch marks more prevalent than before. His finger traced the outline of one stretching from his deltoid to his pectoral muscle, the streak of pulled skin shiny against the rest of his pale complexion. </p><p>“I put lotion on them, but they don’t seem to go away,” Bokuto said, his voice shaded with a dejected timber. Akaashi looked at his eyes, a softer shade of gold reflecting at him. He pulled his hand away from the skin. </p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I really like them.” </p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“Yeah. I can’t be there with you while you’re working out, so it’s like seeing part of the labor. I know how hard you’re pushing yourself to be better. I love your passion for the sport and the way you strive to condition yourself. I’ve always liked these,” he traced the line again with his finger, as gingerly as possible, “even when you were in high school, I always appreciated your work ethic.”</p><p>“Thank you. I really like these,” Bokuto said before placing kisses on the various moles on Akaashi’s neck and chest, causing Akaashi to laugh and squirm under the contact. </p><p>“Oh yeah? Which one is your favorite?” Akaashi challenged. </p><p>“Hm, that’s a tough one. But if I had to pick, I would choose this one right here,” Bokuto said, placing a kiss on the spot below Akaashi’s collarbone. “But this one is a close second,” he teased moving to a spot between his navel and hip, making Akaashi yip slightly at the contact. Bokuto looked up with mischievous eyes, fully knowing his effect. </p><p>“I’m going to put on a movie so we can at least have some buffer noise. I can’t have my parents come bursting in here while we go down on each other. They’d never let you visit again and they’d probably put a microchip in me.” Akaashi wiggled out from Bokuto, double-checking the already locked door before pulling out his laptop and setting up the loudest movie he could think of. </p><p>Bokuto watched and noticed that his boyfriend seemed a little peppier than normal. He liked it, he always hoped that Akaashi would relax a little, but he was curious about the change. It hadn’t been too long since he and Kuroo ended things, and Akaashi didn’t want to talk about it other than the day Bokuto came over to console him. He never once pried into Kuroo and Bokuto’s relationship or questioned their sincerity for the other. He wondered what caused such a drastic change. </p><p>“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem really happy.” </p><p>“Should I not be happy? I’m spending time with my boyfriend who I’m not going to see for a few weeks and I’m trying to enjoy it.”</p><p>“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”</p><p>“Do I not normally seem happy?” Akaashi’s brows furrowed together as if he was questioning himself rather than Bokuto. </p><p>“It’s not that. When we don’t get to spend time together, you sometimes get a little mopey is all. But you seem really happy today. I’m glad. I wasn’t sure if something changed or if you were just excited to spend time with me. I didn’t mean anything by it, I promise,” Bokuto said, holding his hands up in surrender. </p><p>“It’s fine, I’m sorry I’m being argumentative. The truth is… I met someone. And I think I’m ready to try again.” </p><p>“Oh? That’s good. What’s his name? If you want to tell me, you don’t have to.”</p><p>“<em> Her </em>name is Talia,” Akaashi replied, returning his attention to setting up the movie. He opted for an Avengers movie, one he knew would be loud and that he didn’t care about the plot. </p><p>“Wait, <em>her</em>?”</p><p>“Yes, why do you sound so surprised?” </p><p>“You’ve just never mentioned being interested in women before. I’m glad you found someone you like. If she makes you happy, then I’m happy.” Bokuto reached his hand out for Akaashi to return to the bed. He took it and was pulled down quickly, Bokuto maneuvering positions to place himself above Akaashi. “But don’t you <em>dare </em>forget about me, okay?” he teased, lowering himself onto Akaashi and kissing him deeply, passionately.</p><p>Akaashi could feel the need behind the kiss, Bokuto’s hands pressed firmly into the mattress on either side of his head, as if to convey his fear of being left behind. Akaashi wrapped his arms around his back and pulled him in closer until he could feel the weight on his chest, just enough as Bokuto continued to support himself knowing he was much larger at this point. His skin was warm against Akaashi’s and his breath rolled in like crashing waves, sometimes a little ragged with the shuddering kisses. Bokuto was getting better at feigning confidence, but Akaashi knew when his nerves threatened real damage. </p><p>The movie began, the volume as high as Akaashi’s laptop and extra speakers would allow. He slid a hand down Bokuto’s body and skimmed the fabric of his sweatpants, letting his hand rest on his butt. “I will never get tired of this ass,” Akaashi breathed into Bokuto’s mouth and gave a little squeeze. “I think it’s gotten thicker since the last time I saw you.” </p><p>“It must be those extra sets of squats at the gym. I had to get a new pair of compression sleeves because the other ones were too tight.” </p><p>“Mm, you should have brought them with you. I’d like to see you in them,” Akaashi whispered in Bokuto’s ear. </p><p>Bokuto pulled away, a new wave of energy surging through him as he pulled Akaashi with him and began to work on his pants. “Is this okay?” he asked before pulling off the garment. </p><p>Akaashi nodded, adjusting to allow both his sweats and boxers to be removed at once. “We just need to be quiet.” </p><p>“Sure,” Bokuto said, sitting on the floor in between Akaashi’s knees. “Lube?” Akaashi reached to the bedside table and pulled out a small bottle to hand to Bokuto. He could feel his arousal just seeing Bokuto below him. It had been a few weeks since the two of them had been together and he felt a bit touch starved at this point. </p><p>Bokuto kissed Akaashi’s inner thigh, skimming the skin with his lips and tongue before sucking in a few spots. He added a bit of lube to his hand before gently taking hold of his half-hard cock and stroking it to a full erection, he could feel himself growing harder in his sweatpants as he watched Akaashi’s normally stoic face melt into pleasure and his breathing become shallower. </p><p>“Sit back on the bed a little more,” Bokuto instructed. Akaashi obliged, widening his legs and giving his partner full access to his entire lower region. Bokuto added some lube to the middle finger on his other hand and began to probe Akaashi’s hole in slow circles before continuing to stroke his cock. He slowly pushed his finger in, watching as Akaashi’s mouth opened into the slightest of smiles. </p><p>When he reached the end of his finger, Akaashi opened one eye to look down at Bokuto. “Another,” he breathed. Bokuto worked his pointer in slowly, repeating the process while continuing his steady strokes on Akaashi’s member. He curled his fingers, searching for Akaashi’s sensitive spot, and knew he was successful when Akaashi bucked up quickly, letting out a deep moan before smacking his hand over his mouth to cover the sound. </p><p>Bokuto laughed quietly and placed a kiss on Akaashi’s leg. Akaashi smacked him playfully and waited for him to continue. “Can I try something?” Bokuto asked. Akaashi looked at him a little skeptical before answering. </p><p>“What is it?” </p><p>“It’s kind of embarrassing… but I really want to eat you out.” </p><p>“Like… my asshole?” </p><p>Bokuto looked away, a blush creeping onto his cheeks, and nodded. “It’s okay, we don’t have to,” he said quietly.</p><p>“Kou… it’s not that I don’t want to, um… Why do you want to, um… do that? Did you see that in porn or something?” </p><p>“No, I don’t care about porn. Not when I have you.” Akaashi blushed at the compliment, unsure if he should feel flattered or slightly embarrassed at the cheesy comparison. “You sent me that picture a few weeks ago when I was away at a game - I nearly fainted when I saw it and had to run back to the hotel after dinner and jerk off just to make my dick stop hurting.” </p><p>Akaashi thought back to the picture he had sent to Bokuto with a simple text reading, ‘Don’t open around others,’ hoping he would understand. He had never sent a nude before but wanted to do something spontaneous knowing he and his boyfriend wouldn’t be seeing one another for a few weeks. He tried a few pictures in the mirror after stroking himself to a full erection but found himself unhappy with the angles, lighting, and general appearance of the photos. </p><p>He decided to try something different, unsure of how it would look. Setting up his phone on his desk, a timer on his camera, and propping himself on his bed, he bent over and spread his ass for the lens. Checking the photo, he felt a little embarrassed, but he thought it looked better than the previous photos. He decided to take a few more photos in different positions: one of him just from behind - he knew Bokuto thought he had a great back as well as a vast appreciation of his ass - a side profile with his hand on his cock (he didn’t get hard just to <em>not </em>touch himself), and one more bent over with his hand between his legs and his finger pushed inside his hole. He made sure to keep his face out of each picture, even though he knew Bokuto wouldn’t show the photos to anyone, he was too protective. </p><p>Thinking about the pictures he sent now, he didn’t think they would inspire Bokuto to want to try something new. “Are you sure this is something you want to try?” he asked Bokuto. </p><p>“Yeah, you’re just so… gorgeous. I want to do everything with you.” </p><p>“Okay, if you’re sure. Should I just um…?”</p><p>“Turn over on the bed, I’ll position you,” Bokuto said, his voice animated. Akaashi turned over onto his hands and knees and waited for Bokuto to do something. Bokuto removed his sweatpants, letting them drop to the floor, and placed his hands on either side of Akaashi’s hips to position him for better access. He felt Bokuto’s hands smooth over his backside, gently massaging his skin until he pushed apart his cheeks. </p><p>Akaashi could feel Bokuto’s breath close to his skin as he kissed along his thighs and closed in on his hole until he eventually felt the tongue pushed against him. He felt his breath hitch, causing Bokuto to pause for a moment. “Is this okay?” Bokuto asked, his mouth still close to his hole. </p><p>“Yes, keep going.” </p><p>Bokuto continued circling his tongue around the tight muscle, occasionally pushing into the hole slightly. Akaashi couldn’t describe it, but he felt overwhelmingly warm and aroused - maybe it was the sensation of Bokuto’s hot breath and the motions of his tongue against his tight hole, or maybe it was knowing that this was something Bokuto wanted to do and it was inspired by Akaashi and his body. </p><p>Bokuto pushed his face in more, his nose grazing the skin between Akaashi’s cheeks above the hole, and tried to push his tongue further in. He could feel his erection pressing against his stomach, leaking pre-cum and encouraged by the small moans coming from Akaashi’s lips. He dug his fingers into the flesh a little more and pulled slightly more, trying to open Akaashi up just enough to push his tongue in deeper. He was rewarded with a throaty moan. </p><p>The sound of the door handle jiggle and the subsequent knock jolted the two of them. Bokuto pulled his mouth away, his hands still firmly clasped on Akaashi’s ass. “Keiji,” Akaashi’s mother called, “We’re going to head to dinner. Did you and Bokuto-kun want to join us?”</p><p>Akaashi took a breath to collect himself before answering, only vaguely distracted by the steady stream of air Bokuto was blowing against his asshole and balls. “No,” he managed, his voice a little higher than he had hoped for, “We can manage.” He sucked in a breath when he felt Bokuto push his tongue back into his hole, one hand snaking between Akaashi’s leg to massage his balls. </p><p>“Okay, do you want us to pick up something for you two from the store?” </p><p>Akaashi struggled to wrap his brain around the right words to respond. His focus was pulled to Bokuto’s hand and mouth and their relentless movements. “That’s okay,” he managed. </p><p>“What are you doing in there, Keiji?” his mom asked, he could hear her foot tapping outside of the door. </p><p>“Watching a movie,” he said, trying to keep his tone even. “We’ll be fine, have a good dinner.” </p><p>“Okay, we’ll see you in a few hours,” she said, her footsteps fading away. </p><p>Akaashi jerked up out of Bokuto’s reach and smacked him in the head. “What the fuck? She could have heard something and come in?” </p><p>“The door is locked,” Bokuto replied cheekily. </p><p>“That’s not the point.” Akaashi sat against the headboard, a slight pout on his face. On the contrary, Bokuto looked at Akaashi with a hungry expression. The sound of the door closing from the first floor triggered him to react as he nearly pounced on Akaashi, his mouth on his neck vigorously kissing and sucking. “Ahh, shit… Kou… mhm.” Bokuto sat up and grabbed the discarded lube and a condom from the bedside table where he knew Akaashi kept them. He quickly pulled the condom over his erection and added a bit of lube to the length, pumping himself in preparation. </p><p>Akaashi watched, his eyes beginning to match the hunger in Bokuto’s. He sat up to kiss Bokuto, stroking himself to gain some relief. “How do you want me?” he asked. </p><p>“Turn around,” Bokuto replied. Akaashi obliged and faced away from Bokuto. He felt a hand on the back of his neck push him down toward the bed, not aggressively, but with enough need to make his cock twitch. He felt Bokuto line himself up to his hole, teasing slightly before pushing in and filling Akaashi. </p><p>Bokuto moved his hand from Akaashi’s neck to his ass, grasping firmly, as his other hands gripped onto his hip. He wasted no time and began to pump at a steady pace. Akaashi could already feel the heat building inside of him from being stimulated earlier, he tried his best to hold out and last as long as possible. </p><p>“Kou… so good… fuck…harder.” he moaned out in between breaths. Bokuto held firmly onto Akaashi and thrust more aggressively, sweat forming on his forehead. </p><p>“So hot, you’re so beautiful,” he whispered like a prayer. “I love you so much, oh fuck.” He bent forward and kissed Akaashi’s back and shoulders before pulling out and standing from the bed, leaving Akaashi a little surprised and suddenly empty. Bokuto pulled Akaashi up from the bed - he couldn’t help but feel a little like a rag doll with how strong Bokuto had gotten, but liked the feeling of being tossed around at the same time. </p><p>Bokuto placed a hand on Akaashi’s neck and kissed him deeply before spinning him around to face the door and slapping his ass, a loud smack filling the room. Akaashi placed his hands on either side of the door frame, leaning forward enough for Bokuto to gain access to his hole. Without much warning, Bokuto pushed deep inside him, grasping a handful of hair and turning Akaashi’s head to kiss him more. </p><p>He pulled from the kiss and began his thrusting again, intertwining one hand with Akaashi’s pressed on the door and the other wrapping around Akaashi to stroke his cock. Their bodies pressed against each other, sweat and saliva mingling as the door shook with their motions. Bokuto rested his chin on Akaashi’s shoulder, turning in to lick and suck on his neck every so often, his breath hot against Akaashi’s skin. </p><p>Akaashi could feel the tension building, about to erupt as Bokuto’s hand and cock worked simultaneously to bring him to his climax. “I’m going to come,” he breathed out. </p><p>“Good,” Bokuto responded, quickening his pace. Akaashi felt the release as his body shuddered in orgasm, cum shooting into the door. Bokuto slowed his motions, letting Akaashi down gently. Bokuto kissed along his neck gingerly, releasing his erection and wrapping both arms around Akaashi and holding him in a tight embrace. </p><p>They stood for a few moments, connected, the only sounds in the room their uneven breathing, and the long-forgotten movie in the background; Akaashi could feel Bokuto’s heart racing. With a last lingering kiss, Bokuto pulled out of Akaashi, his erection still throbbing, Akaashi shuddering slightly from the loss of contact. He turned around to find Bokuto’s probing eyes, searching for something difficult to name. </p><p>Akaashi placed his hands on either side of Bokuto’s face and pulled him in for a long kiss. “Let me finish you off,” he cooed, running his thumb back and forth along Bokuto’s cheek. They moved to the bed, Bokuto lying down with Akaashi snuggling into him. His chest pressed into the side of Bokuto’s torso, his legs tangled over one of his partner’s, and he leaned up for a kiss as he took hold of Bokuto’s still hard member and began to stroke. </p><p>Bokuto slid his hand under Akaashi to cup his backside, pushing him closer, making the two inseparable. “You know how much I love you, right?” Bokuto asked, pausing their kissing. </p><p>“Of course I do. I love you, too, Kou.” He slid his fingers down Bokuto’s shaft and back up to the top, swiping his thumb over the slit before resuming his strokes. </p><p>“...Fuck,” Bokuto exhaled, “I just need you to know.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you again for all the comments, kudos, and reads! It means a lot and I always look forward to seeing them! Please feel free to reach out with any feedback as I am willing to try new things, catch you next week!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Reconciliation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“You’re not worthless, Keiji. I need you to know that. You’re still hurting and we can work on that. Hopefully, we can make that hurt heal someday too. But until then, you need to tell me when you’re not okay and I’ll do the same. So, you hurt me… pretty badly. But I’m still here because I love you.” Akaashi pulled his head away to look at Bokuto, searching for a trace of insincerity. “If things don’t work out with Y/N, I will still be here for you.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter features our good friend with the wonderfully assembled bedhead. Thank you so much for 1.3k reads! I really enjoy seeing the comments each week and interacting with y'all. If you want to connect elsewhere, follow me @jodeeds.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Ah… fuck… yeah,” Kuroo moaned, his head tilted back against the headboard and his eyes almost closed, just barely making out the squares on the ceiling of his hotel room. He tried his best to focus on the hand on his cock, but he felt distracted by the voice talking to him. </p><p>“I don’t understand why it’s so hard to just keep your word, right? It’s not like I asked for him to remain abstinent from sex altogether. I literally just wanted him to tell her before they had sex.” Bokuto has been recounting his relationship issues with Akaashi for the past thirty minutes while simultaneously jerking Kuroo off. Kuroo didn’t mind listening to his friend, he would often ask how Akaashi was since the two of them hadn’t spoken properly in years; a few awkward exchanges or side glances when Kuroo came to visit, but never a full conversation. He liked Akaashi, but he would sometimes get annoyed when he felt Bokuto was getting stressed out due to Akaashi’s lack of communication. </p><p>“Uh-huh. A little tighter,” Kuroo murmured. </p><p>“Sure. What if she feels manipulated? What if she hates <em>me</em>? What if she turns out to be like <em> you know who </em>?”</p><p>“I highly doubt that. Talia was a breed all her own.”</p><p>“Don’t say her name out loud, you might summon the demon herself. He hasn’t seemed this interested in someone in a long time and I don’t want it to turn out poorly.”</p><p>“Okay, stop, let go of my dick. You’re making me soft talking about all this bullshit.” Bokuto pulled his hand away and Kuroo turned to face him. “You know Akaashi sucks at communicating, he always has. I’m sure there is some reason he hasn’t told this girl about your relationship yet. Whether or not that’s a good reason, I couldn’t tell you, but Akaashi thinks it is.” </p><p>“But I still don’t get why he wouldn’t keep his word to me.” Bokuto seemed legitimately distressed knowing the person he loved the most would lie to him. Kuroo could understand why Bokuto would be so upset, he remembered the look on Akaashi’s face when he had walked in on the two of them in the middle of having sex he and Akaashi had ended their relationship. </p><p>Bokuto had given Akaashi a spare key to their room when they lived together - something that was against the rules of the dorm, but he found someone willing to duplicate the key anyway. He had planned to surprise Bokuto after hearing about their team’s most recent win landing them in the spring college championship. Kuroo guessed that Akaashi must have waited for someone to enter the building and then casually strolled in behind them before entering their room. </p><p>Both Kuroo and Bokuto didn’t hear the key or the door handle over the sounds of their moans and skin slapping as they thrust into the other on the couch in their common room. But when Bokuto suddenly reached forward and put his hand on Kuroo’s thigh, Kuroo followed his gaze - eyes so wide, he could barely see any gold, just the blacks of his pupils - to the door where Akaashi stood with a gift bag in hand. </p><p>Akaashi took a steadying breath, calmly placed the bag he had been carrying down, and turned away, leaving the room. Bokuto looked up at Kuroo and then back to the door. </p><p>“Go after him, it’s fine.” </p><p>“Are you sure?” Bokuto asked, his eyes still on the door. </p><p>“Yeah, I’ll go jack off in my room if you need me.” Kuroo knew they had done nothing wrong, but Bokuto would still shoulder all the blame, take on the emotional burden of the situation, apologize profusely, and console Akaashi. Kuroo also knew that he would never compete with Akaashi for Bokuto’s attention - he didn’t want to. He liked their relationship, even if it was purely physical. The title of “boyfriend” was simply ornamental to make Bokuto feel as if he wasn’t committing some heinous crime against Akaashi.</p><p>Kuroo could remember hearing the door open and close later that night, and then voices in Bokuto’s room next door. It sounded like one of them was crying, but he couldn’t tell who. He put on his headphones to drown out the noise. The next morning, Bokuto took Akaashi out to breakfast before driving him to the train station. Akaashi and Kuroo didn’t speak once.  </p><p>“Why do you and I continue to have sex, Bo?” the question seemed to throw Bokuto off, he threw Kuroo a quizzical gaze.</p><p>“Do you not like having sex with me?” </p><p>“That’s not what I’m asking. Why do we have sex? We’re not boyfriends, we see each other every few months, and you have someone at home to have sex with, someone you have a deep emotional connection with. So what’s the point of this?” </p><p>Bokuto sat back in quiet contemplation before answering. “We’re different, you know? I mean, sure you’re not my boyfriend, but I still think that what we have is special. I like it.” </p><p>“Akaashi doesn’t.” </p><p>“He said he didn’t care.”</p><p>“We both know that’s not true, though. He cares so much about you. But he knows that it would be unfair for him to date other people as he wishes and not allow you to do the same. Maybe this was some little outburst manifesting itself, or maybe, just maybe, he has some sort of special connection with this girl that causes him to act a certain way that you or I would find out of character.” </p><p>“I guess that makes sense,” Bokuto scratched the back of his neck. </p><p>“So talk to him. Find out.”</p><p>“Can’t I just stay with you tonight? We can have a bunch of sex,” Bokuto looked at Kuroo with big eyes and a fake pout.</p><p>“Nope, I’m not giving Akaashi another reason to hate me. <em> You </em> need to talk to him, and I mean <em> really </em>talk to him.”</p><p>“We do talk,” Bokuto asserted defensively. </p><p>“Yeah, until one of you gets emotional and can’t articulate your thoughts or feelings, and then the other feels guilty and just wants to console. Trust me, I watched the two of you interact for over a year and then had to listen to <em> you </em> whine until I left.”</p><p>“What’s wrong with being emotional?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Kuroo sighed. “You express enough emotions for everyone around. But you <em>need </em>to tell Akaashi how you feel with your words. I believe in you.” </p><p>“Thanks,” Bokuto said quietly as he leaned over and kissed Kuroo. Kuroo knew he would have to prompt Bokuto a little more, but for now, he planted a few seeds, and that was enough. </p><p>“Okay, now can we go back to what we were doing? I’m going to need to get my dick hard again.”</p><p>“I can help with that,” Bokuto smiled before maneuvering to the end of the bed, placing himself above Kuroo’s lower half and placing kisses down his abs and on each hip until he took hold of his half-hard member and licked a long stripe from the tip to the base. Kuroo could feel his cock twitch, waking back up from the contact. Bokuto continued, kissing along his thighs and lower abs while leisurely stroking him to a full erection, his own pushing against his stomach waiting for his time. </p><p>“Here, let me prep you,” Kuroo said, reaching for the lube sitting on the bedside table. </p><p>“No need, I did it when I got home.”</p><p>“Oh come on, you know that’s like, my favorite part.”</p><p>“Sorry, I was frustrated when I got back to the apartment and I already had a full workout. It was the only thing I could think of. You can still finger me if you want.” </p><p>“Eh, it’s not as fun if you’re not tight. I’ll just have to use my dick, then. Speaking of which,” Kuroo tilted his head, gesturing to his cock. Bokuto had stopped moving his hand, distracted by their conversation, and was holding onto Kuroo’s member. </p><p>“Sorry,” Bokuto said, taking Kuroo into his mouth, reaching the base, and feeling the tip touch the back of his throat. He dragged his tongue along the bottom as he began to bob his head up and down Kuroo’s length, eliciting moans from the slender man. </p><p>Kuroo reached down, grasping Bokuto’s chin in one hand and forcing him to look up. “I want you to ride me,” he said before pulling Bokuto up for a kiss, mixing saliva and pre-cum back and forth between the two. He reached for the condom next to the lube, handing it to Bokuto who slowly rolled it over Kuroo’s length before giving it a few more pumps. </p><p>“Will you put some on me? Bokuto asked gesturing to the lube. Kuroo nodded, taking the bottle and squirting a generous amount onto his hands and fingers. Bokuto bent forward, giving Kuroo access to his backside, and waited for him to lubricate his hole. Kuroo circled Bokuto’s tight muscle a few times with his fingers, adding pressure every so often before deciding there was enough.</p><p>Kuroo moved into the center of the bed and pulled Bokuto on top of him, lining himself up to his hole. Bokuto slowly lowered himself down, biting his bottom lip as he began to feel full. Kuroo liked the feeling of Bokuto’s embrace, how the larger man would wrap his arms around his neck or shoulders, holding Kuroo in place, as he moved up and down. </p><p>He liked the friction of their chests and the weight of Bokuto’s body on his, especially since Bokuto had put on some more muscle. He knew Akaashi had a small - but not really <em>that </em>small - of an obsession with Bokuto’s thighs, but Kuroo’s favorite body part was Bokuto’s chest. He liked watching the muscles ripple and contract along with his movements. He liked to kiss the barely noticeable smattering of freckles that were so pale, you could only see them up close, like they were a secret. And he really liked the way Bokuto’s chest would turn red with a blush that crept higher up his neck the more aroused he was, sometimes to his cheeks. He was going to miss that. </p><p>“You feel so good,” Kuroo moaned into Bokuto’s ear, letting his hands move up and down his back and butt as Bokuto’s legs carried his movements. Kuroo could hear Bokuto’s staggered breathing, his arms draped over Kuroo’s shoulders as he buried his head into his neck, kissing the crook every so often. </p><p>Kuroo reached his hand in between them and gently took hold of Bokuto’s throbbing cock, pink and leaking from a lack of touch, and started to stroke along with Bokuto’s pace, his hand moving down as Bokuto thrust upward. Bokuto let out a throaty moan and lightly bit onto the side of Kuroo’s neck, licking over the spot where his teeth left marks. </p><p>“Are you going to come for me, Bo?” Kuroo crooned, tightening his grip just enough to make Bokuto’s moans louder and more frequent. “Mm, I like those sounds you make. I want to hear more. Louder.” </p><p>Kuroo pushed forward, changing their positions and placing Bokuto beneath him, and hiking his knees up around his hips.  Bokuto’s neck and chest were red, his mouth open, breathing heavy, and his eyes almost closed as he focused on the different sensations. Kuroo wrapped one arm around his thigh, keeping his hand still stroking, and started to pump harder and faster. </p><p>“Ah… ah… mm… fuck, Tetsu,” Bokuto whimpered. </p><p>“Yeah? I said louder, I like those noises. Fuck, I’m going to come.” He took a grip of both of Bokuto’s hips slamming into him at an unrelenting pace. The only noises that could rival the ones coming from Bokuto were the sounds of Kuroo’s skin and hips making contact with the other man. He felt his release coming and shuddered as he orgasmed, digging his nails into Bokuto’s hips as he came. </p><p>With a few more pumps, he finished and looked down at his partner, still breathing heavy, cock pink and leaking profusely, his chest and neck a scarlet glow. He pulled out of Bokuto, tying off the filled condom and dropping it on the floor before climbing on top of him. He straddled Bokuto, feeling his cock touching his thigh, keeping it wanting as he kissed down Bokuto’s chest. He latched onto a nipple and listened to Bokuto’s quiet whimpers at the pleasure mixing with a slight pain from his cock. </p><p>“Kuroo, I’m desperate, man. Come on,” he pleaded. Kuroo looked up, tugging the nipple a little with his teeth, causing Bokuto to wince slightly. </p><p>“I was biding my time until my dick could get hard again. We both know how long you tend to last.” </p><p>“Yeah, but it kind of hurts, I’ll suck you off later or give you a hand job in the shower. Just… please, hurry up.” Kuroo sat up, putting a little pressure on Bokuto’s dick, making contact with his own. </p><p>“Here, you wanna eat my ass? I know you’re into that.” Bokuto raised his eyebrows and smiled a little at the prospect. </p><p>“What’s the special occasion? You don’t normally let me do that unless it’s my birthday or something.” </p><p>“I just feel like being nice,” Kuroo said, turning around and pushing his ass toward Bokuto’s face. The other man took hold and parted his cheeks for better access while Kuroo took Bokuto into his mouth and began to bob up and down, hollowing out his cheeks and sucking. </p><p>“Mm,” Bokuto hummed, sending the vibrations into Kuroo’s hole. He flicked his tongue up and down the puckered muscle before circling and pushing against the entrance. He could feel Kuroo clench against his mouth. </p><p>“Fuck, Bo. Are you trying to taste my intestines? Not so deep.” </p><p>“Sorry,” Bokuto mouthed against Kuroo’s skin. He knew Kuroo wasn’t a huge fan of analingus, so he reached forward to begin stroking his member to bring him back to an erection, opting to kiss along his thighs and ass, occasionally grazing his hole with his tongue. When Kuroo was hard again, he gave his ass one last kiss, “Let’s switch positions.” </p><p>“You sure?” Kuroo turned back still holding onto Bokuto. </p><p>“Yeah, you can jerk us at the same time, that’ll be nice.” </p><p>“Sounds good to me,” Kuroo said, sitting up. Bokuto moved to rest against the headboard and let Kuroo take his spot, his legs draped over Bokuto’s, bringing their hips close together to grab both their cocks in his hands. Bokuto handed Kuroo the lube from the table next to the bed and watched as he drizzled it over both of them, a little too cold for his liking. Kuroo took hold of the two of them, pressed their members together, and began long fluid strokes. </p><p>Bokuto was already close, he could feel it in his stomach as his body heated up under Kuroo’s touch. He brought his hands to his nipples, twisting them harshly to add to the sensation below his waist. “Faster,” he urged Kuroo, who happily obliged. </p><p>It wasn’t long before Bokuto came hard over Kuroo’s hand, streams of white semen erupting from his tip while his body wracked in shudders as Kuroo continued to stroke him through his orgasm, never slowing. He felt his breath get heavy as he started reaching the point of overstimulation and looked up at Kuroo with pleading eyes. </p><p>“Hold on, I’m almost there, Kuroo said without looking up, tightening his grip. Bokuto leaned back on his hands, the back of his head pressed against the headboard, and his breaths shallow and stuttering. </p><p>“Kuroo. Fucking. Hurry. Up.” With that, Kuroo came again, his semen covering Bokuto’s lower abs and stomach as it shot out. He slowed his pace until he eventually removed his hand and sat back, waiting for Bokuto to move or say something. </p><p>When he didn’t, Kuroo drug his middle finger over Bokuto’s cock, jolting him from his spot. “Stop, you know it gets sensitive after. And you kept going so it’s even worse than usual, asshole.”</p><p>“Man, what do you and Akaashi do after you come? Do you just sit and look at each other? I guess he is really good looking, he’s got a great ass.” </p><p>“We do other stuff. <em> He </em> likes when I eat his great ass.” </p><p>“Sorry, just not into it. Let’s go shower and get dinner. There’s a new place that just opened that I read about.” </p><p>The two got up from the bed, cleaned one another off in the too-small shower, and got dressed for dinner. As they left Kuroo’s hotel room, Kuroo noticed a woman from the room next to his leaving at the same time. She whispered something to the man with her and continued to look at the two of them. </p><p>They continued down to the elevator, the woman and man standing in the opposite corner from them. Kuroo grew annoyed at their whispers and the way they looked the two of them up and down. Kuroo took Bokuto’s hand in his to test if they were talking about them. The woman rolled her eyes and looked at the man who grimaced as well. </p><p>“Ignore them,” Bokuto whispered. “It’s not worth it.” </p><p>“But I love making people uncomfortable,” Kuroo whispered back, pulling Bokuto’s face to his and kissing him much too passionately for an elevator ride, making sure to wrestle his tongue against the other man’s as loudly as possible. He could hear the woman scoff quietly in her corner of the elevator, eliciting the reaction he meant. </p><p>When they reached the bottom floor, it looked as though the man and woman were having a small argument without actually saying anything to one another. Kuroo found it exceedingly amusing while Bokuto felt slightly embarrassed. They knew there was still a bit of stigma in Japan for two men to be romantically involved, but Kuroo never cared for peoples’ opinions or the way they would look at him.</p><p>As the door opened, it was the woman who stepped forward first to leave, but not without providing a comment. “You should learn to restrain yourselves a little better, no one needs to hear those repulsive sounds in public.” </p><p>Kuroo smiled before taking a look at Bokuto who was shaking his head quickly, urging Kuroo not to respond. “Do you hear that? She wants us to restrain ourselves. Good thing I brought that rope - you know, the red one that looks great against your skin? We can use that and make all kinds of repulsive sounds tonight. How does that sound to you?” he asked, wrapping an arm around Bokuto’s waist. The woman turned quickly, the man trying to keep up with her while Kuroo and Bokuto exited the elevator at a leisurely pace. </p><p>“You couldn’t just let it be?” </p><p>“Where’s the fun in that? Come on, the restaurant is just a few blocks away.” The two walked to the nearby restaurant Kuroo had picked out. They sat, ordered some wine and their meals, and struck up their conversation from earlier. “How are you going to tell Akaashi that he hurt your feelings?” Kuroo asked, turning the glass of wine in his hand. </p><p>“I mean, I feel like he kind of already knows. He’s been packing my favorite lunches for me and even started adding an extra cookie. I think that’s his way of apologizing.”</p><p>“Is that good enough for you?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow. Bokuto looked at his glass of wine as if he would find the answer in the burgundy liquid. </p><p>“I don’t want to cause a fight. If he’s sorry, is there a point in digging this all up just to hurt each other’s feelings? We can just move on.” </p><p>Kuroo let out a deep sigh and threw back the rest of his wine, reaching for the bottle on the table to refill his glass.  “Bo. When are you going to take part in this relationship? I’ve watched the two of you interact for years and despite what people may think, you, my friend, are the timid one. You need to assert yourself and tell Akaashi how you feel or else he is going to continue to walk all over you.”</p><p>“It’s not like that, Akaashi’s not-”</p><p>“Stop. I know Akaashi is not some villain who is manipulating you, he’s not that kind of person. He’s told you what he wants, in his way. You are more than capable of doing the same. You tell me your problems without any issues and you used to do the same with Akaashi. But something changed at some point and it’s like you’re so terrified of hurting his feelings. He’s not made of glass, Bo. He’s not going to leave.” </p><p>Bokuto stared down at the table, holding the stem of his wine glass in silence. Kuroo worried that he had gone too far. Bokuto was much more sensitive than he let on; he always tried to put on a tough guy act, the big, masculine man who would take on the world. For those who knew better, they were more afraid of Akaashi - a man who sat serenely, taking in all the information just to cut you down with a single phrase. </p><p>Kuroo didn’t think ill of Akaashi, he liked him a lot. Part of the reason he had agreed to their arrangement in high school was that he thought Akaashi was hot - in a quiet and dangerous kind of way. He was always wondering what Akaashi was thinking and, admittedly, did not understand how he and Bokuto worked. But seeing them together first hand, it seemed like Bokuto could voice what Akaashi didn’t know how to put into words. If Bokuto didn’t feel comfortable voicing his feelings, Kuroo felt like their relationship would eventually break down. </p><p>Bokuto looked back up, his golden eyes dim and glinting with tears that threatened to fall at any moment. Kuroo sucked in a breath, instantly regretting everything he had said, wishing he hadn’t pushed his friend too far. </p><p>“Bo, I’m sorry-”</p><p>“I don’t want to lose him again, Kuroo,” Bokuto whispered, taking a deep breath trying to will the tears away.  “I <em> can’t </em>lo-”</p><p>“Hey, hey. Dude. I know. I was there. You’re not going to lose him by telling him how you feel. And if he’s doing things to apologize, then it’s like you said, he already has an idea that he hurt you. Just approach him calmly and tell him why you’re hurt. It doesn’t change the fact that you love him. You just want him to listen and do what he says he’s going to do. You guys can’t have this kind of relationship if you’re hiding your feelings from each other.” </p><p>Bokuto took a few calming breaths and then sipped his wine. “Okay, I will. All we’ve done is talk about me and my relationship. What’s going on with you at work? You’re going to graduate early, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, work has been good with my class schedule and I was able to get ahead of my course load so I’ll graduate a semester early,” Kuroo said, still leery of the ending of their previous conversation, but he didn’t want to continue picking at the scab. </p><p>“What do they have you doing out here? You mentioned they have you on an assignment this weekend, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, they wanted me to scout some of the local college teams for some recruits,” Kuroo said, tilting the wine glass up and raising an eyebrow in question. </p><p>“No.” </p><p>“You could finish your degree online and work at becoming a big name, Bo. Athletes are only competitive for a short time. I know you’re in great shape, but what if you injure yourself?”</p><p>“You and I both know that I won’t be able to do school online. I can barely pay attention in class as it is. I don’t have much longer and then I’m all yours. And, if you were so concerned about my body, maybe you would have refrained from pounding into me like that. Practice is going to be a bitch tomorrow.” </p><p>“Speaking of which, I wanted to talk to you about something.” The waiter came by at that moment to drop their food off, pausing their conversation. </p><p>“What did you want to talk about? You wanna bottom for once and see how it feels?” </p><p>“Nope. Not gonna happen,” Kuroo laughed, taking a bite of food, stalling. “Do you remember my old setter from Nekoma?” </p><p>“Kozume? Yeah, real quiet, always had a game in his hand? How’s he doing?” </p><p>“Good, we recently reconnected. He’s doing some gamer stuff and online things, I don’t know how to explain it. But um… we started seeing each other,” Kuroo said, occupying himself with his food. </p><p>“No shit, that’s awesome. Congrats, man. Does he know about us?” </p><p>“Thanks. He does, I told him when we first started seeing each other, but he said he didn’t really care since it was mostly when I was gone on business trips and it was probably nice to have someone to be with. But, we’re starting to get pretty serious, you know, and, well-”</p><p>“Kuroo, it’s okay.” Kuroo looked up to meet Bokuto’s smile, his eyes no longer sad or brimming with tears, but genuinely happy. “I always knew how this would end, you know. You deserve to find your person and if he makes you happy, then I’m happy, too.” </p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p>“So this was the last time, huh? I wish you would have told me sooner, I could have busted out all my best tricks.” </p><p>“In that case, I’m glad I waited,” Kuroo took a slug of wine and rolled his eyes. </p><p>“Asshole.” </p><p>“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Kuroo looked over at Bokuto with a soft expression. “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.” </p><p>“Shoot.”</p><p>“Is she nice? Do you think she’s good for Akaashi? I shouldn’t care, but I still consider him a friend, even if he doesn’t talk to me.” </p><p>Bokuto took a sip from his wine, “She’s really sweet. She always asks how I am when she comes over and seems like she cares about me, too - not as Akaashi’s ‘roommate,’ but as his best friend. I like her. She’s fun, too. A good dancer, not a good cook, but that’s okay, neither is Akaashi.”</p><p>“So you like her, too?” Kuroo asked. He could see an expression in Bokuto’s eyes that seemed familiar.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s cool. She seems genuine, you know?” </p><p>“That seems like a good sign.” </p><p>“She told me I was important,” Bokuto said with a small smile. Kuroo took a sip of his wine, nodding internally to himself, thinking about a different question that had just been answered on its own. </p><p>The two finished their dinner and began their walk back to the hotel, chatting about the other updates in their lives outside of their relationships. Bokuto was filling Kuroo in on the improvement of his stats when Kuroo stopped to look at an open shop, a large sign in the window. Bokuto turned his head to see what Kuroo was looking at and then turned to Kuroo giving him a skeptical look. </p><p>“No way.”</p><p>“Why not?” Kuroo asked, smiling like a Cheshire cat.</p><p>“Do you want Akaashi to kill me?”</p><p>“He won’t kill you. Come on, I’ll do it if you do. We can match and it will cement our friendship forever. Don’t you love me, bro?” Kuroo puckered his lip out in a fake pout, giving Bokuto big googly eyes. </p><p>Bokuto sighed deeply, “I hate you, so much.” </p><hr/><p>Bokuto arrived back at his apartment, wondering if Y/N would still be there. He convinced himself that if she wasn’t, he would talk to Akaashi about his feelings and make sure the two of them agreed on communication moving forward. He didn’t want to repeat their past mistakes and he knew their current track would just cause them to break up again. </p><p>He opened the door and found Akaashi alone sitting on the couch, one lamp on to illuminate the space. He held a book in his hand but didn’t appear to be reading it. Bokuto swept the apartment, looking for Y/N, but concluded that it was just Akaashi alone. He took off his shoes and carefully walked over to the couch; Akaashi jumped slightly when Bokuto sat down, not noticing him until that moment. </p><p>“I didn’t hear you come in,” he said quietly. </p><p>“I just got back. Did Y/N leave? I thought you guys would watch a movie or something. You said you were getting takeout.”</p><p>“Yeah, she left. There’s some Korean Barbeque in the fridge if you get hungry later. I ordered from that place you like.” Akaashi was too quiet, he looked petrified as if Bokuto would break him in half if he moved too close to him or breathed in the wrong direction. His eyes didn’t seem to focus on anything in particular and he continued to look forward as he spoke to Bokuto. “How’s Kuroo?” </p><p>“Fine, he tried to scout me again. I told him that I wanted to wait until I graduated to pursue anything professional. I wouldn’t be able to focus on my own online.” </p><p>“I think you would do fine if you enrolled in online courses. You’re smart, Koutarou. Did you guys have fun?” he asked, a little more strained. </p><p>“It was fine.” </p><p>“Okay.” They sat silently for a while, maybe ten or even twenty minutes. Bokuto wanted to have a conversation with Akaashi about how he was feeling, but it seemed that Akaashi was not in the right place for that. Instead, he reached out and took Akaashi’s book from him, placing the bookmark he always kept in the back inside before closing it and setting it on the coffee table. Akaashi looked over at him in surprise before Bokuto pulled him onto his lap and laid back onto the couch. </p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” he whispered into Akaashi’s neck, placing a gentle kiss under his ear. </p><p>“She knows,” Akaashi stated plainly. Bokuto felt tense as realization set in. He wanted to know more but was worried about the outcome of the conversation. </p><p>“She knows what, exactly?” </p><p>“Everything. ...Almost everything.” Bokuto waited patiently for Akaashi to continue and elaborate on the ‘almost’ part. He wrapped his arms around Akaashi, stroking his forearms with his fingertips. “She knows about you and me… and Kuroo.”</p><p>“And Tal-”</p><p>“Not yet,” he cut Bokuto off. “I will tell her, though. I just… um.” </p><p>“It’s okay. That’s a lot for one conversation. I’m afraid to ask how it went.” Akaashi went quiet again. He leaned back into Bokuto and took a deep breath.</p><p>“She needs a little bit of time to think about everything. I haven’t exactly been honest with her for a while so… I think I want to give her some space to sort out her thoughts and hopefully, she will still be interested in me.” </p><p>“I’m sure she will be.”</p><p>“But what if she’s isn’t? I’m so stupid, a student? Really? What if she tells people about us and the kind of relationship I like to be a part of. I acted so selfishly, she could get me fired, Bo. I’m an idiot.” Akaashi leaned forward out of Bokuto’s grip and covered his face with his hands. </p><p>Bokuto pulled Akaashi back and spun him around to face him, their legs overlapping on the couch. He placed his hands on Akaashi’s knees and began to rub circles with his thumbs. “Hey, hey, hey. Enough with that. She’s not that kind of person, you wouldn’t be interested in her if she were. And if she decides that she’s not interested, you’ll always have me.” </p><p>Akaashi placed his hand on Bokuto’s arm and looked up, his eyes starting to fill with tears. “Will I?”</p><p>“Of course. Why would you think anything differently?”</p><p>“I’ve been really awful recently, to both of you. But especially you. I didn’t consider your feelings, even from the beginning. I’m sorry, Kou. I hope you can forgive me.” </p><p>Bokuto swallowed hard, this was his moment, an opening. “You have been shitty to me, Keiji. You… um, you really hurt me…”</p><p>“I know, I’m sor-”</p><p>“Stop. I need to finish… please.” He looked up at Akaashi, his eyes a little wider, but nodded for Bokuto to continue. “I don’t ask for much, Ji. I never have. I only really want you to be happy. But this was the <em>one </em>thing that I needed from you and you couldn’t keep your promise to me. Do you know how that made me feel?” Akaashi’s breath started to become a little ragged as tears spilled over and rolled down his cheek. Bokuto would normally stop to console him, but he needed to get everything off his chest. “I felt so… betrayed… angry… hurt… frustrated. And it felt like you didn’t even care-”</p><p>“I <em>do</em> care,” Akaashi burst out, his chest heaving. “After you left and I dropped her off, it was so quiet here but all I could hear was my thoughts about how terrible of a person I am. How selfish and vile and how you would finally realize that I’m worthless and find someone who actually deserves you. I just pretend. I don’t want anyone to see how much of a mess I am. I don’t even want to see it!” He broke down, sobs wracking his body and shaking him uncontrollably. Bokuto knew that Akaashi held so much in, but he didn’t realize there was so much residual harm left behind from the past. </p><p>Bokuto pulled Akaashi into him, tucking his head into his neck and placing a hand in his curls. “You’re not worthless, Keiji. I need you to know that. You’re still hurting and we can work on that. Hopefully, we can make that hurt heal someday. But until then, you need to tell me when you’re not okay and I’ll do the same. So, you hurt me… pretty badly. But I’m still here because I love you.” Akaashi pulled his head away to look at Bokuto, searching for a trace of insincerity. “If things don’t work out with Y/N, I will still be here for you.” </p><p>Akaashi nodded and leaned his head on Bokuto’s chest. “And if things do work out,” he started. “I will still be here with you. I won’t go anywhere.” Bokuto took hold of Akaashi’s face and kissed him deeply, hoping to begin the healing process together. They had their issues, maybe they enabled each other in some ways, but he knew that they loved one another, and that’s what he clung to. “Kou, I have to tell you something. And I think it’s really important.”</p><p>Bokuto’s heart dropped, he thought they had made it through the forest to the other side. Did they just escape one clearing? “What?” </p><p>“Your nipple is bleeding,” Akaashi laughed a little. Bokuto looked down and saw the small circle of blood forming on his white dress shirt. </p><p>“Shit. I told Kuroo it was a bad idea,” he said, taking off his shirt to observe the damage. “That fucking idiot, I shouldn’t have listened to him. Dumbass.” </p><p>“You pierced your nipple.” Akaashi deadpanned. </p><p>“I’m sorry, it was Kuroo’s idea and he pouted when I said no and then gave me the puppy dog eyes, and you know I can’t resist the puppy dog eyes.” </p><p>“It’s good to know he has such control over you,” Akaashi said sarcastically. “But to be honest… it’s kind of hot. It’s gross right now, maybe infected. But I never thought about you with a pierced nipple. I think it will look good once it’s healed.”</p><p>“You’re not mad?”</p><p>“Why would I be mad?” Akaashi asked standing from the couch. “It’s your body. I’ll grab some rubbing alcohol from the bathroom and we can put a gauze pad over it for tonight, but you should let it air out tomorrow. Do you have practice?”</p><p>“Yeah, in the afternoon.” </p><p>Akaashi disappeared and reemerged with some supplies. “Just wait to put on a shirt until you leave for practice to let it air out. This is going to sting,” he said, placing a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol against Bokuto’s skin. </p><p>“Ah, fuck.” Bokuto sucked his teeth as his skin began to sting. “I’m never letting Kuroo talk me into anything again.” </p><p>“I think that would be a wise decision. Did you get this done in some back alley van?” Akaashi removed the cotton ball and dried the area, letting it air out before placing the gauze over top. </p><p>“I think you would look hot with a piercing. What about getting your nipple pierced too?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“What about just an earring then, that would look good.”</p><p>“Nope.” </p><p>“Or I could get my tongue pierced like that dude we played in high school. You know, the crew cut guy. I bet that would feel great going down on you. Or when I eat you out.” </p><p>“Or it would get infected, they would have to cut your tongue off, and you couldn’t speak again. A shame.” Akaashi fixed the gauze over Bokuto’s skin gently and looked up, a smirk on his face. </p><p>“You’d miss the sound of my voice. Especially my singing in the shower,” Bokuto jested.</p><p>“Especially the early morning shower singing.” </p><p>Bokuto placed his hand on the side of Akaashi’s face, his fingers gracing his neck. “Do you want to spend the night with me in my bed?” he asked. </p><p>“I’d like that a lot.”</p><hr/><p>Akaashi looked up when he heard knocking on the door to his office. “It’s open, what can I…” he paused when he took in the man standing in the doorway. “...help you with?”</p><p>Kuroo smiled wider than necessary and took a step into the office. “Wow, look at you. You’re definitely not the high school kid I remember.”</p><p>“What are you doing here, Kuroo-san?” </p><p>“Can’t an old friend pop in to say hello? Is that your thesis?”</p><p>“An old friend could, but you and I are not friends. So again, <em> what </em>are you doing here?” Akaashi closed his laptop and pushed his glasses up onto his head, rubbing the bridge of his nose. </p><p>“Do you mind if I close the door?” Kuroo asked. Akaashi raised a hand in defeat, signaling to Kuroo to come in. Kuroo closed the door and took a seat opposite Akaashi. “You know, I always thought you had beautiful eyes. It’s too bad you hide them under those massive glasses.”</p><p>“I need these to see.” Akaashi lowered the glasses back down. </p><p>“That’s what contacts are for.”</p><p>“Kuroo-san. Is there something I can help you with?” </p><p>Kuroo shifted in his seat and took a deep breath. “You know, I don’t think it’s fair that your seat is higher than mine. It creates a power dynamic, but I guess that’s what you academics go for.” When Akaashi just stared at him, Kuroo continued. “I wanted to talk to you, Akaashi.” </p><p>“About?”</p><p>“Us.”</p><p>Akaashi sighed deeply. “We ended things almost two years ago. What could we possibly have to talk about?”</p><p>“How about the fact that you haven’t spoken to me in that entire time, Akaashi. I know you’ve gotten my messages and just choose not to respond. If you can’t manage to send a single reply in all that time, I think we have some unresolved issues, don’t you?”</p><p>“Does that really matter right now?”</p><p>“It does to me.”</p><p>“Kuroo-san, I don’t kno-”</p><p>“Would you knock it off with the damn honorifics?” Kuroo barked. “You and I dated, we fucked - several times - I think we’re past the niceties, Akaashi.” Akaashi sat quietly, not sure how to respond while Kuroo took a few cooling breaths before continuing. “I’m sorry. I want us to be friends. You and I care so much for Bokuto and I know it pains him that we can’t be in a room together without it feeling like one of us is going to stab the other. How the hell have we gone two years without talking, Akaashi? We’ve been in the same room during that time and we just, what, avoid each other? What did I do to make you hate me so much?” </p><p>Akaashi steeled himself for a moment before answering. “Nothing.”</p><p>“Then why won’t you talk to me or even look at me?” </p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>“Don’t fucking lie to me.”</p><p>“I don’t know... I guess, when I see you, I’m reminded of the fact that it didn’t work. Not only that, it <em>did </em>work with Bokuto. Maybe I’m jealous. There’s no reason for me to be, he’s my boyfriend, he loves me to death, but when I think about how much people desire him, I can feel myself shaking with anger. When I see you, I’m not just reminded of the fact that you wanted him, but so did she. That’s not your fault, it had nothing to do with you. But I… I can’t help it.”</p><p>Kuroo sat dumbfounded. “So you hate me because I liked Bokuto more than you? That’s it?”</p><p>“No, you idiot. I don’t hate <em>you</em>. I hate <em>myself</em>,” Akaashi snarled through gritted teeth. “He’s so much better than I will ever be and everyone else knows it except for him. You’re just a reminder of how pathetic I am.”</p><p>“Fuck, Akaashi. I knew you were self-deprecating, but I didn’t realize how bad it was. You’re not pathetic. I don’t think you understand how amazing you really are. Did you know the only reason I agreed to the arrangement in high school was because of you? Not Bokuto.” </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“I wanted to get to know you, ever since I first saw you. You always looked so cool and you thought so strategically. Not to mention you’re gorgeous. I couldn’t believe you approached me of all people. It was fun to have sex with Bokuto, but I’m sure that would have happened sooner or later after too many shots.” </p><p>“You wanted to get to know me?” </p><p>“I was kind of jealous myself when Bokuto told me you accepted his confession, but I guess it wasn’t quite a confession? He never told me the full story. I couldn’t understand what you saw in him, he whined and carried on, he acts like a puppy, sure he’s hot, but I didn’t see anything else. Once I was in the relationship, I saw what you saw in him. But I also saw that you and I would never be anything more than friends. Because you didn’t care for me as you did for him, and that’s okay. When Bo and I stayed together, it wasn’t the same, though, I’ll admit. You always added something when it was the three of us, I can’t put my finger on it, though.”</p><p>“Is that why you and Bokuto stopped dating but continued a sexual relationship?” Akaashi’s eyes moved side to side as if he was trying to solve an advanced equation. He never knew how Kuroo truly felt, but he also never allowed Kuroo to explain his side either. </p><p>“Yeah, it feels good to blow off some steam and even better when you can fuck and then drink a beer on the couch later. He’s one of my best friends, got a great ass, but that’s it.” </p><p>“Yeah.” </p><p>“But it’s over, you know?” Kuroo stood from the chair. </p><p>“Huh?”</p><p>“I’m seeing someone exclusively. So Bo and I are done with the casual sex. I should have never let it go this far. If I had known how you felt about yourself, I would have forced you to talk to me sooner. Please answer my messages sometimes, okay?”</p><p>“Sure. How did you know I was writing a thesis?”</p><p>“Bokuto gives me updates about you each time I’m in town.” Kuroo leaned over the desk and kissed Akaashi on the cheek. Akaashi was awestruck, was this the start of a healthy relationship with Kuroo? “Door open or closed?” Kuroo asked as he walked to leave the office. </p><p>“Open. Kuroo?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Thank you.” </p><p>“I’ll call you. Make sure to answer.” Akaashi nodded and opened his laptop. Kuroo turned down the hallway and took out his phone, letting Bokuto know he was leaving. </p><p>“Um, excuse me?” Kuroo looked up to see a young woman in front of him, she seemed familiar, but he knew he had never met her before. </p><p>“Yeah, what’s up?” he responded.</p><p>“Are you Kuroo?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Again, thank you for the reads, comments, and kudos! Please reach out with any feedback as I am always willing to try something new!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Context</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“...Take the time you need. You can ask me anything you’d like, um, if you want to, that is.” </p><p>“I don’t know if that’s true,” you said standing from the couch. He looked at you, his eyes wide, searching for something. “I appreciate what you’ve told me. I’m upset that it took you so long. It makes me feel like you don’t trust me. But even after every detail you’ve just shared, you’re still holding something back. I will think over everything, but I want you to know now if you can’t be one hundred percent honest with me moving forward, it won’t work.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter provides some background for Akaashi, Bokuto, and Kuroo's relationship. There is also a slight peek into Akaashi's head. </p><p>TW: some feelings of self-loathing and implied homophobia (very slight)</p><p>Silver lining: More Kuroo!</p><p>Reader's notes: single line denotes a big change in scene, double line denotes a change in time (past, present, or future shifting)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You replayed the conversation in your head. Over and over. Too many times to count, bits and pieces streaming across your mind like an old projector. “Akaashi, did you and Bokuto use to date one another?”</p><p> </p><p>When you asked the question, you weren’t truly prepared for the answer that came from Akaashi or the other details he started to divulge. A small break in the dam let the water begin to flow slowly as information seeped out.</p><p> </p><p>“Not used to,” he replied. “He and I <em> are </em>dating. Bokuto is my boyfriend.”</p><p> </p><p>“‘Is?’ As in currently?” you clarified, already knowing the answer. You felt your heart race. </p><p> </p><p>“Yes.”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t understand.”</p><p> </p><p>From there, the floodgates opened, water no longer contained raced toward you, pulsing and overwhelming. </p><p> </p><p>“We started dating in high school…”</p><p> </p><p>It seemed like he had been holding in so much and was now bursting at the seams, coming clean like a sinner in a church confessional booth. </p><p> </p><p>“...we asked Kuroo to join about six or seven months in…the three of us were together for a bit...”</p><p> </p><p>You had never seen so much expression, fear in his eyes, pain, regret, and something else. </p><p> </p><p>“...Kuroo and I stopped dating, he Bokuto continued a relationship, though. For a while. They aren’t dating anymore, but they still sleep together when he comes to town…” </p><p> </p><p>A flicker of pain in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>“...we broke up once… and um, it was pretty bad. We got back together about eight months ago.”</p><p> </p><p>Only eight months, meaning they had only started dating again six months before your first date. Six months. Just like Kuroo… </p><p> </p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I um…” </p><p> </p><p>Despite how much he let out, it still seemed like there was something still lingering just below the surface. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t know what to say.”</p><p> </p><p>A lie. He knew how to approach Kuroo, was he just more brazen in high school? You felt the tension slowing swimming but refusing to surface. Something was hiding under those sea-green eyes, dangerous, slow, and predatory.</p><p> </p><p>“Please say something.”</p><p> </p><p>A reason. </p><p> </p><p>“I think I need some time to process this, Akaashi. To be honest, this is a lot of information all at once and I’m not sure what to make of it right now.” </p><p>Akaashi nodded his head and twisted his fingers in front of him, staring down at the floor. “I understand. Take the time you need. You can ask me anything you’d like, um, if you want to, that is.” </p><p>“I don’t know if that’s true,” you said, standing from the couch. He looked at you, his eyes wide, searching for something. “I appreciate that you’ve finally told me. I’m upset that it took you so long. It makes me feel like you don’t trust me. But even after every detail you’ve just shared, I know you’re still holding something back. I will think over everything, but I want you to know now if you can’t be one hundred percent honest with me moving forward, it won’t work.” </p><p>You grabbed your bag and left without giving him another look, leaving no room for debate or sympathy. Lying in bed, you thought through everything and wondered what you should do. You still liked Akaashi a lot; he made you feel special, he was smart, caring, very attractive. But you also felt conflicted and had some major questions. </p><p><strong>One</strong>: he lied to you and was still not being fully honest, the biggest of red flags. Was that something you would be able to forgive? Perhaps if you knew <em>why</em>, that would be an easier question to answer. Bokuto obviously knew a lot more than you, maybe it would be a good idea to talk to him again. But he would probably just tell you to talk to Akaashi. And even if he did divulge information, that might be just as bad as him keeping secrets from you. It was one thing to get advice from Bokuto when you thought they were just best friends, now it felt like something very different. </p><p><strong>Two</strong>: what did this mean for Akaashi and Bokuto’s relationship? Why did they break up in the first place? And if they only got back together eight months ago, was it too soon for you to be involved in any of this? Bokuto must have given Akaashi some kind of blessing to pursue you, right? On your first date, Bokuto was there. You danced with him, he was sweet and fun. But maybe there was a limit to his kindness. Perhaps he had given Akaashi some ultimatum which would explain why he looked so upset after the two of you slept together. </p><p>Of course! It had nothing to do with the noise, it had everything to do with the sex part. But, Bokuto probably wasn’t mad at you, he was more likely upset with Akaashi if they had some type of agreement that Akaashi didn’t keep. Another red flag. </p><p><strong>Three</strong>: where did Kuroo fit into all of this? <em> Did </em>he fit into this at all? He was the first person that Akaashi and Bokuto invited into their relationship, about six months after they started dating. Akaashi took an interest in you about six months after he and Bokuto started dating again. Was this a pattern? Why Kuroo; what attracted Akaashi to him? And why did they break up? </p><p><strong>Four</strong>: thinking back to your first date, why was Bokuto there? Was that a coincidence? Were they looking to see if you were compatible with him as well? And when you went to Akaashi’s office hours and he was there, he said something to you. He had said you were cute. But it was the way he said it that threw you off as if they had been talking about you. Was this part of a bigger plan to get you and Bokuto to like each other as well and become one big couple? Throuple?</p><p>You liked Bokuto, sure. He was extremely nice and caring, he was attentive, funny, and charming. Not to mention he was exceedingly attractive. You would be lying if you didn’t think about him in a sexual way, and if Akaashi wasn’t in the picture… you would have never met him. And, most importantly, he was in a relationship <em>and </em>in love with Akaashi. You didn’t even know if he liked women. </p><p>There was so much to think about and you had barely processed any of it since the last time seeing Akaashi two days prior. You were going to have to face him in class soon, and unlike normal, you were dreading that moment. You didn’t know how he would react, maybe he would pull you aside and ask to speak with you or ignore your presence altogether. </p><p> </p><p>You rounded the corner and walked through the door of the classroom. He was standing at the front of the class writing on the whiteboard, referencing a book in his other hand. The professor sat at her desk sipping from a coffee cup and giving him instructions occasionally. You took your seat without making eye contact with him. </p><p>“Good morning, class,” Dr. Yamamoto began. “We are going to work on some interpretation today. You all have done well so far in understanding some of the major themes in <em> Antigone</em>, but we are going to be working on a new work for the remainder of the semester. Go ahead and read the sections and answer the questions Akaashi-sama has written on the board.” </p><p>You pulled your bag up and fished for your copy of <em> Madea</em>, but to no avail. You looked in the bag and realized it wasn’t there. </p><p>“Here,” you turned back to your desk, a book appearing before you. “You can borrow my copy,” Akaashi said as he passed by your desk, keeping his eyes forward. </p><p>“Thank you,” you whispered. You leafed through to the first section and started to notice writing and highlighting in certain places. This was your book. You must have left it at Akaashi’s apartment and forgot to place it in your bag before leaving. There was something else, though. At the back of the book, sat an envelope with your name. On the back, a little message reading, ‘open later.’ Akaashi probably anticipated that you would find it during class. </p><p>You continued to read the section and did your best to answer the prompts, but your mind kept wandering to the contents of the envelope. “Okay folks,” Dr. Yamamoto interrupted your thoughts. “It looks like we are at time. Go ahead and hand your prompts into Akaashi and we will get those back to you by next week. See you soon!” </p><p>You walked up to the front along with the other students in the class and waited to hand in your assignment. As you handed your paper to Akaashi, it seemed like he purposely avoided eye contact with you. You felt inexplicably sad looking at him. Even though there seemed to be some red flags and he hadn’t been honest with you, you still cared for him and didn’t like to see him hurt. You lingered for a moment, causing him to look up at you. You gave him a soft smile, which he returned, but you noticed that it didn’t quite touch his eyes. </p><p>On your way to your next class, you pulled out the envelope to find its contents: a handwritten letter, scribed by Akaashi himself. You decided against reading it in class, unsure of what emotions it might elicit. But the entire hour or so, you couldn’t stop your leg from bouncing in anticipation at what might be sealed in the words on the page. </p><p>When the professor let the class out, you all but jumped out of your seat. You walked quickly toward the library, thinking there might be a quiet spot where you could read his letter. Maybe you would be able to understand why he kept things from you or what he expected or anything. You just needed some clarity to the entire situation and hoped he would be able to give you something in his words, neatly penned in ink. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Y/N </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> I’m not very good at putting my feelings into words. Despite my aspirations, I fear I will never be able to achieve the successes of those like Austen or Brontë. It is, however, a little ironic, though, is it not? For someone who has excelled their entire life with the interpretation of a text, in understanding the expression and emotions of others so deeply, and has even been able to create fictionalized versions of humans living and trivializing their own lives, but is completely useless when it comes to comprehending their demons? It sounds like a sad joke. I digress.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’ll start here. I’m sorry. I know that is not good enough, but it’s what I have to offer at this moment. I cannot cease to condemn the actions that injured not only you but another love. I am a selfish man, wicked in my ways, and, I know, without doubt, no greater enemy than myself and the voices that plague my thoughts, convincing me that everyone despises me.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I could claim that my upbringing by cold parents, who only showed affection when I excelled at something and spent more time away from home than with their child, caused me to become cynical and calculating. And their absence in recent years, during a critical juncture of my life, their disgust of me, is what resulted in the person I am today. But they loved me in their way and provided for me well enough until they could no longer.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Could I continue to loathe Kuroo, the first person to reject me? Perhaps. But I don’t hate him at all. He was a great friend, unfortunately. I wish I could tell him that. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Perhaps then, the answer lies with the person who took away the only person I loved and, subsequently, the only person who truly loved me. The person who appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, just to destroy everything, and then disappear as if the damage inflicted meant nothing. I could. I think that would be the easiest option. But the truth is, I think I’ve always been vile from the start.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I do not think this letter is going to make much sense. As I read it back it seems to be more of a stream of consciousness conversation to myself instead of an apology to someone I care for deeply, a person whom I’ve hurt. I am going to work on myself. I had a conversation with Bokuto tonight. We are in a good place, I think, and seemed to have reconciled a lot of misplaced feelings neither of us knew were lingering from the past. I’m not sure if you even care about my relationship with Koutarou, but I know you care about him, at the very least. He is well.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I hope to be able to do the same with you. You were correct, when you left, in what you said. Despite everything I divulged, all the information purged in a matter of minutes, there was still one thing I continued to keep close to me as if I were protecting it. Which, in earnest, is absurd.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> To hold myself accountable in telling you everything, I will start with this: her name was Talia. She was the worst thing to ever happen to me. I wish for nothing more than to forget about her. But there are days when it feels like the wound she left has reopened and I cannot stop the bleeding. That sounds incredibly hyperbolic. But I hope you can understand. I hope you will talk to me when you are ready.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Yours,  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Akaashi Keiji  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>You read the letter a few times, trying to absorb the words into your brain. You weren’t sure if anything made sense or if any questions had been answered, but you felt an overwhelming sadness knowing one unequivocal truth: the person Akaashi seemed to despise the most was himself. You wanted to know more about what happened in the past, why he acted the way he did, why he thought so poorly of himself, but you also felt like none of that would help. </p><p>If Akaashi disliked himself so much, he would paint himself as a villain in any narrative about past relationships, despite how much he seemed to dislike this Talia person. He would probably take some blame for whatever happened between the break up between him and Bokuto, even if she was the cause. </p><p>While it didn’t feel great to go behind his back, you needed to talk to someone else. You knew that Bokuto loved him, he saw a version of Akaashi so different from the one he wrote about, but perhaps he was also biased. No matter, he would be the best option. And now, knowing as much as you did, you were going to ask him to help you understand Akaashi. But not without Akaashi’s permission first. </p><p>You waited until his office hours were starting, hoping he wouldn’t cancel and just go home. You were going to let him know that you wanted to talk to Bokuto and why. It seemed like he was the only one being completely honest - well, mostly honest - from the start and you thought that he would be the best person to tell you what kind of future you might have with Akaashi. Would it be worth it? Would he move on in another six months? There were so many unknowns, but you needed to wrap up one of the loose ends. </p><p>You reached his office and noticed the door was closed. You sighed, hoping it wasn’t because he had canceled, but perhaps there was a student inside who actually needed his help. Perhaps this was not the best time to talk to him, but you didn’t want to go to his apartment just yet, and you didn’t want to have him come to yours. You could imagine your roommate and stupid smug face if you and Akaashi started to argue. </p><p>You got closer to the door and heard voices, one that was definitely Akaashi’s - at least he didn’t go home. You couldn’t make out the other voice, but you knew it wasn’t Bokuto’s. Whoever it was had more of a drawl in that their words ebbed and flowed together as if they were singing them. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it didn’t sound like a pleasant conversation based on Akaashi’s tone. You decided to sit on the couch near the office door to not eavesdrop. </p><p>As you sat down, you heard a raised tone, not quite yelling, but angry and firm. It had come from the other person in the room, definitely not Akaashi. Thinking about it, you weren’t sure if Akaashi was capable of screaming at anyone. You thought about the porcelain pallet of his face and what it would look like, brow knotted, eyes scrunched, mouth full of venom. It didn’t seem to suit Akaashi’s demeanor, certainly not after reading his letter which seemed more melancholic than anything you had ever read before. </p><p>Then you heard it. Akaashi shouting back. It was surprising, kind of scary, too. But what was worse, was that you could hear every word, “No, you idiot. I don’t hate <em>you</em>. I hate <em> myself </em>.” It was too much, it was all too much. You could understand disliking pieces of oneself, maybe trying to change little things. But completely hating, no, despising yourself? How? </p><p>Could you be with someone like that? Would you be able to spend every moment in reassurance trying to convince them they were worth something? That sounded exhausting. How did Bokuto manage that for the past few years? Well, they broke up at some point, so they must have had some time apart from that. And they must have been long distance for a portion of their relationship since Akaashi was a year younger. </p><p>You felt a little out of place waiting for Akaashi’s conversation to be over. Knowing that he would probably put together the fact that you heard parts of his conversation. He might be upset or mortified that you overheard him talking to this other person. It might be bad. You decided to leave, you would text him later or call and tell him you wanted to speak with Bokuto. But now, you just wanted to leave before he noticed you were there. </p><p>You picked up your bag and started down the hallway. When you were almost to the stairwell, you heard the door open and, despite your best judgment, peeked back to the office. A tall man, perhaps the same height or slightly taller than Bokuto, with dark messy hair stood in the doorway. Although he was dressed much differently - stylish jeans, nice boots, a flannel wrapped around his waist, and a leather coat on to compliment the look - this was Kuroo. </p><p>You couldn’t make out what he was saying at your current distance, but he didn’t look upset. He even looked like he was smiling a little. Maybe they resolved their issues? Akaashi had mentioned Kuroo was also his ex and based on his behavior, it didn’t seem like he was fond of Kuroo. And in the letter you read, he mentioned that Kuroo was the first person to reject him. You wondered if that meant Akaashi broke up with Bokuto later on. He never went into specifics of their relationship. </p><p>Kuroo began to walk in your direction while typing on his phone. It was probably a bad idea, but perhaps he would be a good person to talk to. Bokuto seemed a bit protective of Akaashi, but you would get Akaashi’s permission later to talk to him. Kuroo on the other hand might be a bit more honest about Akaashi and could give you insight as to whether or not it was worth pursuing this relationship. </p><p>“Um, excuse me?” Kuroo looked up from his phone, raising an eyebrow at you. </p><p>“Yeah, what’s up?” he responded.</p><p>“Are you Kuroo?”</p><p>“Yes… and you are?” he asked skeptically. He tucked his phone in his back pocket and took a step back from you as if you were about to attack him. </p><p>“I’m Y/N. I’m… um.” You paused for a moment. You and Akaashi weren’t dating, that much was true. What were you to him? A sex partner? A friend? A potential girlfriend? </p><p>“Ah, I see.” You looked at him, recognition and a wide smile on his face. “So you’re the one causing all the trouble? Well, I guess I got lucky coming this way.”</p><p>You panicked internally. What did Akaashi say to Kuroo about you? Is that what the two were yelling about? There was no way that could be true. Why would Kuroo be that invested in his ex-boyfriend? </p><p>Unless Bokuto said something to him when they met up the other night, the same night Akaashi told you everything. The same day you ambushed him after practice to ask questions about <em>his </em>boyfriend that you had just slept with. Bokuto probably hated you and now Kuroo, who you have not even had the chance to properly meet before all this, probably hated you too. </p><p>“Listen. I’m not sure what you and Akaashi talked about and I’m sure Bokuto probably told you how awful I am and. Trust me, I feel awful. If I had known about them ahead of time, if Akaashi had told me before we… you know… I would have-”</p><p>“You would have what? Stopped him? Told him you weren’t interested anymore? Left? Come on, we both know that would have happened. Have you seen Akaashi?” You stared at him in disbelief, but you knew that everything he was saying was true. Even if Akaashi had been upfront about his relationship with Bokuto, the fact remained that he also wanted to be in a relationship with you as well. So would that have stopped anything? “There must be a reason you stopped to talk to me, what can I do for you?” </p><p>“To be honest, I’m really confused about a lot of this. I planned to come here and tell Akaashi that I was going to talk to Bokuto first-”</p><p>“Bokuto is too nice. I sometimes think he sees his and Akaashi’s relationship through rose-colored glasses,” Kuroo asserted. </p><p>“Right. I know he is really sweet, but Akaashi gave me this letter and it was just… sad, I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I don’t even know you. This was stupid, I should go,” you turned to leave, but felt a hand grab your arm and spin you back around. Kuroo looked down on you with a softer expression and kinder eyes. </p><p>He looked at his cell phone briefly before responding, “I’ve got time. I’m Kuroo Tetsuro. I used to date Bokuto and Akaashi in high school and part of college. Up until last night, Bo and I were casually having sex. Really good sex. What’s your name?” </p><p>You opened and closed your mouth a few times, taken aback by his upfront nature. “Um, I’m Y/N. I’m a student and I am seeing Akaashi. We had sex. I now know he has a boyfriend who I thought was just his roommate and I am pretty confused about literally everything,” you tried to mimic his assertiveness but fell flat in tone. </p><p>“Good, now we know each other,” he smirked. “Let’s go talk. He took hold of your hand and led you out of the building, typing on his phone while walking. </p><p>The two of you ended up sitting in the back of one of the campus coffee shops. You waited for Kuroo as he grabbed drinks for both of you. He returned to the table setting down cups of coffee and placing a blueberry muffin in front of you. </p><p>“That’s the only kind they had, hope it’s okay,” he said, taking his seat. </p><p>“You didn’t have to get me anything.”</p><p>“Eh, you might want it for later. So, what would you like to know? I’m an open book.” </p><p>You thought for a moment, not sure where to start. You had a lot of questions but didn’t want to invade Akaashi’s privacy. You decided to focus on Kuroo to see if that would gain some second-hand insight. “How did the three of you meet?” </p><p>“That’s where you want to start? I was hoping you were going to ask me to recount the nights of steamy, passionate sex.” You blushed hard picturing Akaashi, Bokuto, and Kuroo together. You had some time to process the concept of a throuple, but now seeing Kuroo in person, your mind imagined the three toned bodies, built from athletics, pressed together, layered in sweat and other fluids. </p><p>You shook the thought from your head as you realized Kuroo was smirking at you. “Good image, huh? You should have been there. Anyway, Bokuto and I met at our first training camp in high school. We were both first years in school, first years on our teams. I don’t remember exactly who approached who, but I think we were “rivals” at first,” he said with air quotes. </p><p>“And then you met Akaashi?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll get to that. Bo and I became decent friends. We exchanged information and would see one another during breaks or weekends to practice. I first heard about Akaashi at the start of our second year. He was all Bo could talk about ever. How great his tosses were or how smart he was and how he would teach Bokuto new words. Or, get this, he started packing Bokuto a lunch because he would always forget his and have to get shitty food from the vending machine. Apparently, and this is according to Bokuto, Akaashi told him he shouldn’t be eating food like that because he was an athlete and it was too unhealthy. I thought that was interesting at first, but I brushed it off.”</p><p>“They told me about that,” you inserted quietly. “I had lunch with them and noticed they had the exact same thing. I thought it was cute. It makes a little more sense now, thinking about it.”</p><p>“So he’s still doing it, huh? Old habits, I guess. Well, I noticed something had to have changed because Bo started telling me weird things as we got closer to training camp. He was excited for me to meet Akaashi and wouldn’t shut up about it. But the compliments were a little… different. I think the first one said something about Akaashi’s eyes and how Bokuto thought they were, and I quote, ‘perplexing.’ Apparently it was a word he had learned from Akaashi. He said he couldn’t tell if they were blue or green, but they were really ‘<em> pretty </em>.’ I thought that was an interesting way to describe your teammate.”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess that would be a little weird at first.” </p><p>“I didn’t care if he had a crush on Akaashi. He never mentioned being interested in guys before. He never mentioned being interested in anyone, actually. Volleyball was all he ever talked about until he met Akaashi. When I met him for the first time, that’s when I saw it. Bokuto was infatuated with Akaashi. The way he looked at him, the way he smiled if Akaashi gave him a crumb of praise, the way he followed after him like a lost puppy. He was head over heels.”</p><p>“Wow.” </p><p>“Yeah, and the worst part of it, he wouldn't admit it.”</p><p>“Wait, really?” you asked. </p><p>“I managed to get him alone one night, I had to wait until Akaashi was in the bath where Bo <em>couldn’t </em>follow him, and I asked him outright. I said, ‘dude, when are you going to tell Akaashi that you have a crush on him?’ Do you know what he says to me? ‘I don’t have a crush on Akaashi.’ Like I’m an idiot or something. He wouldn’t admit it, he said I didn’t know what I was talking about. Teammates, not even friends, take time to talk about the moles on someone’s neck if they don’t have some kind of feelings for them.” </p><p>“He must have had it bad,” you laughed. </p><p>“Trust me, he did. But, I was so busy looking at the way Bokuto was falling over himself that I was missing something.” You waited for him to elaborate. He looked back up at you and raised an eyebrow. “Akaashi. Akaashi looked at Bokuto, too. Just… differently. He didn’t fall over himself like Bokuto was, but the way he would watch Bokuto when he walked away or how he lingered around when he didn’t have anything to contribute or, my favorite, how he would whip his head around after a toss to watch Bokuto’s spike. Akaashi had just as much of a crush on Bokuto as Bokuto did for him.” </p><p>“That actually sounds pretty cute,” you smiled.</p><p>“Yeah. I got a text at the end of the school year from Bo saying they had kissed. Well, Bo kissed Akaashi and then ran away. They started dating that summer, I think. Akaashi approached me before our last training camp. I thought he just wanted a threesome, but he was serious about all three of us being in a relationship together, even had some reading material sent to me.” </p><p>“And you said yes.” </p><p>“I did. To be honest, I always thought Bo was attractive, but he was my friend. I was more interested in Akaashi.”</p><p>“How so?” You took a sip of your coffee and began to pick at the muffin in front of you. Kuroo paused to take a drink before continuing. </p><p>“I could never really tell what he was thinking and I didn’t understand how he and Bokuto worked. I think I was curious about that, at first. But I also thought Akaashi was gorgeous, he still is. I was hoping to get closer to him. It didn’t end up happening like that, though.” </p><p>You weren’t sure if you should push, but you wanted to know more about the breakup. Based on Akaashi’s letter, he made Kuroo out to be the one who dumped him, but Kuroo talked so highly of Akaashi. </p><p>“Akaashi didn’t have feelings for me the same way he did for Bokuto. When the three of us were together, everything was great. But when it was just the two of us, there was this… distance. I liked Akaashi more than he liked me and, eventually, it was too much to stay with him. But,” he paused taking another sip. “I started to develop deeper feelings for Bokuto. The guy who I saw as my goofy friend was sweet and thoughtful and I liked spending time with him in a relationship. I never imagined I would start to actually fall for the guy.”</p><p>“So you broke up with Akaashi?” you asked gently.</p><p>“Yeah…” You couldn’t help but notice the look in Kuroo’s eyes. Although he seemed to exude confidence, there was a sadness as you could see him replaying the memory.</p><p>“Sorry, you don’t have to keep talking, you’ve shared so much with me already and I appreciate this so much. I don’t want to pry.”  </p><p>“It’s fine. It happened years ago, I should be over it. But we haven’t reconciled yet. When I told him, he already knew. But he still seemed so heartbroken and I didn’t understand why. He was upset that I still wanted to date Bokuto and even claimed him as <em>his </em>boyfriend. I’m not sure if he knew why he was upset: if it was because I was ending things or if it was because I <em> wasn’t </em>ending things with Bokuto.” </p><p>“Like, there’s some sort of claim over Bokuto? A possessiveness?”</p><p>“No. I think you’re going to have to talk to Akaashi on this one. But I think it’s more of an insecurity thing. Not feeling good enough and feeling like someone cast you aside. But, moving forward, he seemed to be okay. We had dinner… and then we didn’t speak until today.” </p><p>“Wait. The last time you spoke was-”</p><p>“The day we broke up, basically two years ago,” he took a long sip of his drink, his mind somewhere else. </p><p>“Why? Why did it take so long”</p><p>“Fucked if I know,” he laughed a little. “I sent messages, a few months later, checking in. I congratulated him on graduating. I saw him at their apartment once they got back together. But it was like he never knew me. Maybe that was easier for him, to deal with it all. I’m not sure I understand, even after our talk today.” </p><p>“Do you think it had anything to do with you and Bokuto still dating?” you asked. “Sorry, I’m being too intrusive. You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to. It sounds like you all had a very interesting relationship.” </p><p>“You can say that. Maybe Akaashi had an issue with me and Bo dating. He never said anything. Bo asked so many times and he always said it was fine, as long as he didn’t hear about it. Funny enough, when it was just me and Bo, it was different. It felt like something was missing. It was weird, you know? Akaashi was essential to the three of us working, but the individual parts… couples, I guess, didn’t work. I think I must have been the problem in the end. Bo and I decided to stop dating, but we liked having sex so… we kept doing it. And that’s where we are.”</p><p>“That’s a lot. Thank you, for letting me know your side of the story.” </p><p>“I’m not sure if any of that helped you, but I’m always glad to talk.”</p><p>“Yeah… I still feel a little confused. I’m disappointed that Akaashi didn’t tell me sooner, but I don’t feel upset or angry about it, though. I want to hear him out. I also want to know what Bokuto thinks. I don’t want him to feel left out or dislike me in any way. I’m sure he’s hurt by what happened.” You recalled Bokuto’s face and behavior the night after you and Akaashi slept together. He seemed so upset, but it was more directed at Akaashi. </p><p>“I don’t think he’s mad at you. But that’s something you should talk to him about now that you know a bit more. For what it’s worth, I think the fact that you want to talk to Bo and Akaashi and sort this out means something. It seems like you’re interested in some kind of relationship. Whether that’s just with Akaashi or both of them, who knows?”</p><p>You coughed a little on the muffin, not prepared for Kuroo’s statement. “Both?” you asked, taking a sip to clear your throat. </p><p>“Why not? The way you talk about Bo is sweet. It seems like you care for him, too. It might just be in a friendship kind of way, but he has a way of making you feel special. <em> Do </em>you have any feelings for him?” </p><p>You thought about your interactions with Bokuto, wondering if they meant anything more than just a friendship. He was always receptive to your needs, but he could be that way with everyone. He knew some of the things you liked and disliked, but that could just mean he was observant. He <em>was </em>ridiculously attractive. He was fun, outgoing, energetic, sweet, and he didn’t seem to have a malicious bone in his body. Bokuto had so many characteristics opposite Akaashi, it made sense how they could complement one another. But you weren’t sure how you would fit into that. On paper, Bokuto seemed like the perfect partner, if you hadn’t met Akaashi. </p><p>“He is really sweet. But I’m dating Akaashi. I don’t know how that would look with Bokuto involved.” </p><p>“That’s fair. I was just wondering. If you want to continue dating Akaashi, it’s a conversation you’re going to have to have to figure out any boundaries.” He looked down at his watch and stood up from the table, extending a hand to you. “Come on, let’s go.” </p><p>“Where are we going?”</p><p>“I have to say goodbye to someone.” </p><p>You and Kuroo walked until you heard the sounds of shoes against the gym floor and the leather balls hitting skin. You realized he was taking you to Bokuto’s practice. </p><p>“I haven’t seen him play in a while in person. I’ve been trying to recruit him to play professionally for a while, but he won’t until he graduates college first. I think he doesn’t want to leave Akaashi,” Kuroo said as the two of you rounded the corner and walked into the open door of the gym. </p><p>“Is it okay to just walk in like this?” </p><p>“Yeah, it’s part of my job to scout talent. These guys are good, nationally ranked athletes. And they should be wrapping up soon anyway.” </p><p>“Bokuto! Left!” a voice called out grabbing your attention. A young man with blonde hair, the one you saw the other day, was pushing the ball through the air with his fingertips to seemingly no one. You watched as the ball moved closer to the net, wondering where it was meant to go. The man had called for Bokuto, but he wasn’t there. </p><p>“Got it!” you heard Bokuto’s voice and turned your head to see him move from the back of the court up to a spot in the front of the ball. He planted his legs before pushing hard from the ground, leaping into the air.</p><p>It was as if time moved slower. His body seemed to float as he met the ball. His arm coiled back about to spring, his eyes glinted with confidence, and he wore a small smile in excitement for when the ball connected with his hand. Although there seemed to be so much power and tension in his body, his form looked graceful and effortless. With a loud <em>smack</em>, the ball went flying forward and landed on the line of the opposite court. Bokuto landed on the ground, gently, as if the air refused to give him back. </p><p>He was beautiful.</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>Bokuto packed his shoes in his bag and looked up to see that everyone else had left the locker room, excited for the break to begin. Almost everyone. Akaashi was finishing toweling off his hair, the dark splotches on his shirt indicated where the heavy droplets fell before he could catch them. He had mentioned that he needed to get it cut, it was getting in his face during practice and bothered him during school, and when he leaned over to write, he would push it out of his face often just to look up and have the tendrils fall into his eyes. </p><p>Bokuto, on the other hand, liked the way it looked, the way the wavy/curly pieces fell over Akaashi’s ears, and how, as it got longer, the ends curled a little more. He liked when the girls from Akaashi’s class would stick pins in his hair to clip it back - he didn’t care for the girls who fawned over how cute Akaashi looked, but he liked to see the way he would take their pins and delicately pull back the long pieces out of his eyes. </p><p>“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Akaashi said, working on a section of his hair. “Once I get this cut, it won’t take so long to dry. I should be done soon.” </p><p>“I like it long, I think it suits you,” Bokuto smiled. He walked over to where Akaashi was sitting. </p><p>“You’re not the one who has to deal with it, Bokuto-san.” </p><p>“Let me help, then,” Bokuto said, instinctively taking the towel from Akaashi. </p><p>“You don’t have to-'' Akaashi stopped, letting Bokuto work on drying the damp pieces of hair. Bokuto felt his heart begin to race. He had had an urge to touch Akaashi’s hair for some time now but never thought he would have had the chance. It was soft. He was panicking inside, partially in shock that he was so close, touching Akaashi, and the other part because he had done so without thinking about it. </p><p>He finished and handed the towel back to Akaashi without saying a word, his nerves preventing him from making a sound. Akaashi stood from the bench, turning to face Bokuto, just as quiet, his eyes cast down. He slowly scanned up, landing on the steady rising and falling of his chest. </p><p>Although the bench stood between them, creating an obstacle, he felt so close to Bokuto, just within reach. He met Bokuto’s eyes. They were scalding, boring holes into his skin, unmoving. His mouth was slightly ajar and Akaashi could hear his breathing as the air left his lips. </p><p>And then it happened. Bokuto stepped forward reaching out his arm, his hand coming to the back of Akaashi’s neck and pulling him forward. Akaashi, without hesitation, moved as well when he saw Bokuto moving forward. Their knees hit the bench, their lips met much too harshly, and their noses pushed against each other. It only lasted for a few seconds. Bokuto pulled away, his hand reluctantly parting from Akaashi’s skin, fingers tracing his jawline as he moved back to his place. </p><p>Akaashi stood silently for a moment. He brought his fingers up to touch his lips where he could have sworn he still felt tingling. He looked at Bokuto who wore a terrified expression on his face, his eyes wide, his mouth slightly open as if he were going to say something. </p><p>“Bokuto-san… I-”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Akaashi, please don’t hate me! Please don’t quit volleyball!” Bokuto shouted before turning and leaving the locker room, nearly in a sprint. He left so quickly, he failed to grab his bag and other items. Akaashi sighed and moved to place his used towel in his bag before grabbing Bokuto’s stuff and walking out of the locker room and outside. </p><p>After walking to the gym and the volleyball club room, Akaashi opted to search around the outside of the school, not sure where Bokuto would be. He remembered that, when Bokuto would get upset, he would sometimes make himself small. If he was trying to avoid Akaashi now, he would try to go somewhere he didn’t think Akaashi would check. But it was Bokuto, so the hiding space wasn’t entirely difficult. </p><p>“Can I join you under there?” Akaashi asked, peeking his head under the bleachers next to the track field. Bokuto was sitting with his knees tucked against his chest staring forward. He nodded his head silently. Akaashi moved in and took a spot next to him, but maintained a safe distance to ensure he didn’t frighten Bokuto away. “You left all your stuff behind.” </p><p>“I was going to wait until you left to go back and get it,” he replied in a small voice. </p><p>“Ah. Why did you run in the first place, Bokuto-san?” Bokuto began to squirm a little, clearly uncomfortable and not wanting to engage in this dialogue. Akaashi waited patiently for him to work up the right words to say. He knew it would come, it was just about letting Bokuto make the best move for him. </p><p>“I shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m sorry.”</p><p>“And why shouldn’t you have kissed me?”</p><p>“Because… You might not even like me or like guys and I just did it without asking you. I should have asked first. I just don’t want you to hate me. Or quit volleyball or something. I’m really sorry. I should have asked…” he pulled his knees closer to his chest and buried his face into them. </p><p>“...So… then ask,” Akaashi said. Bokuto sat silent still until recognition began to register on his face, causing him to turn his head quickly to look at Akaashi. Akaashi looked back at him, cool and calm, but a slight blush painted his cheeks. Bokuto turned so he was facing Akaashi completely and Akaashi mirrored him. </p><p>“Akaashi, can I… um… can I kiss you… please?” Akaashi smiled and sat up on his knees, moving closer to Bokuto. Bokuto sat up as well to meet Akaashi’s level, but stayed still, waiting for the answer. Akaashi closed the distance, placing one hand on Bokuto’s face and the other on his shoulder before pressing his lips to Bokuto’s. He felt Bokuto’s hands on his waist, too light, too gentle. It was as if holding any tighter would break Akaashi in two, maybe that would happen. </p><p>Akaashi wrapped his fingers in Bokuto’s hair, soft and ungelled from his post-practice shower, and pressed deeper into the kiss. He felt Bokuto’s breath stutter at the contact, the older boy moving a hand into the small of Akaashi’s back and pulling him closer. </p><p>They parted slowly, eyes still closed, taking deep breaths, and still holding each other. When they opened their eyes, they were both smiling. Bokuto was the first to speak. </p><p>“I really like you, ‘Kashi.”</p><p>“I really like you, too, Bokuto-san.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Again, thanks for all the reads, comments, and kudos. I'm super excited about the way the story is moving and I like to see folks' reactions. If you would like to connect with me elsewhere, follow me @jodeeds.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Calm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Akaashi smiled at the phone and suddenly felt a sharp lump in his throat. He wanted to be with Bokuto. He wanted to watch him play, to see the joy on his face as he scored a point and contributed to his team’s inevitable victory. He wanted to get dinner with him afterward and watch as he slurped his ramen, broth dribbling down his chin and eventually getting onto his shirt and leaving a stain that Akaashi would help get out. He wanted to take a bath with him later and help massage out the sore muscles from a hard-fought match and then curl up in bed with him, maybe have sex, but that part didn’t matter. Akaashi just wanted to be with Bokuto and it hurt.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Reader's notes: a single line denotes a change in scene and a double line denotes a change in time (past, present, or future). </p><p>TW: Explicit underage interactions (sexual content) coercion, manipulation, slight degradation, and mention of homophobia. </p><p>Author's notes: Hello all, I usually don't write a ton of notes at the beginning of the chapter, but I wanted to expand on the trigger warning. There are moments of coercion between Talia and Akaashi in this chapter that I would consider interpersonal violence (not physical violence, but more about manipulation, psychological, and emotional abuse). These moments are a bit insidious and are not completely blatant, as most moments of emotional or psychological abuse are, but if this is something you have personally dealt with, it might be triggering.</p><p>This chapter will cover their first sexual experience, so another warning for sexual content involving minors. I am adding this in here because it can be pretty harmful to some and it is totally okay to skip that part if you are not in a space to read it. I will indicate the beginning and end of their experience with ***. I am writing this in to help explain a little more backstory into Akaashi past relationship and how it was pretty toxic, even if he did not see it that way. </p><p>If you or someone you know is experiencing sexual abuse, you can contact this hotline 24/7: 1-800-656-4673. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-3224 if you are experiencing interpersonal violence.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m so happy that you’ve finally taken an interest in dating, Keiji,” Akaashi’s mother said one night after Talia had left. He introduced her to his parents a few weeks after they started dating and his mother demanded she stay for dinner. “You’ve never brought someone you were dating home before. I mean, you’ve never dated anyone before, sweetheart,” she continued. That wasn’t true. “I’m so glad that you found someone you care about.”</p><p>They bombarded her with questions about growing up in Russia and what it was like moving to a new country so late into her schooling. She smiled and engaged with them, like a respectful young woman in a relationship should. Akaashi watched their interactions, feeling a sense of pride, she was perfect, witty, and charming. But he felt a little melancholic knowing these same conversations would never happen with Bokuto, not in this sense. </p><p>Bokuto had been over to his home several times, met his parents, had dinner, and stayed over on weekends and during breaks. But it was always under the pretense of being Akaashi’s best friend. He knew that he would never be able to introduce Bokuto to his parents as his boyfriend and have them accept him with open arms as they did Talia. They were too traditional for that. Akaashi secretly wondered what would happen if they stumbled into his room during one of Bokuto’s visits and saw the two of them wrapped in each other’s arms, peaceful and asleep. Would they yell? Would they cry? Would they have a different reaction altogether?</p><p>Over the years, Akaashi had heard things his parents said about gay people. They threw around negative stereotypes, opposed legislation geared for equal rights, and made offensive jokes at the expense of the community. He always sat by uncomfortably, unable to ask them to stop and make it known that he didn’t like when they tossed around slurs so nonchalantly. Akaashi never wanted Bokuto to be the subject of their ridicule and, therefore, decided to keep the most important part of his life a secret. He always told himself it was for Bokuto. </p><p>One day after practice, Bokuto had told Akaashi that he came out to his sisters. He said he was really nervous, but felt like they would be the ones to support him, even if his parents didn’t. Not surprisingly, they welcomed him with open arms and let him know if he decided to tell their parents, they would stand by him. He came out to his mom and dad before leaving for college. They didn’t quite understand at first; they equated his athleticism to heterosexuality. But he told them that he was attracted to men and had been ever since he could remember. They asked too many invasive questions, but they loved him nonetheless. </p><p>Akaashi never could tell his parents he wasn’t straight. He didn’t have loving sisters to support him. He didn’t have loving parents. He didn’t even know what he was. He just knew that he loved Bokuto, but he also liked women. Did that make him bisexual? Pansexual? Queer? His parents would surely pass it off as a phase and disregard any partner he had. </p><p>With Talia, he could pretend that part of him didn’t exist. He cared for her and was happy to start a relationship with someone new. He began to recognize the side glances at lunch and the slight nudging that turned into hand-holding. He liked the attention and he liked Talia. </p><p>But Akaashi knew that she would never stand on the same tier as Bokuto. That wasn’t her fault. He was his first love. But she was the first woman he cared for in a romantic sense, and she provided him a sense of security nonetheless. </p><p>“Do your parents know about you and Bokuto?” Talia had asked after practice one day. They were doing homework in Akaashi’s room when she broke the silence with her question. </p><p>“No. They don’t know about mine and Bokuto’s relationship. They don’t know that I’m not straight,” Akaashi replied, keeping his eyes on his work. </p><p>“Oh… I’m not your beard, am I?”</p><p>Akaashi looked up and raised an eyebrow. “My what?” </p><p>“Your beard. Like, your cover. A way for you to pretend that you’re not gay.”</p><p>“I’m <em>not </em>gay. I told you that.”</p><p>“I know, I know. Bi then. But isn’t that like, a pit stop on the road to being gay?” she asked, scooting closer to Akaashi. </p><p>“No, it’s not. If you’re having second thoughts, why did you agree to date me?” </p><p>“I’m just messing with you, ‘Kashi.” Talia moved onto her knees, straddling Akaashi as he sat on the ground, and wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re cute when you get flustered.” She kissed his nose, his cheek, and then his neck, moving the collar of his school shirt aside. </p><p>Akaashi pulled away from Talia, causing her to give him a quizzical look. He looked down at the floor, his face getting a little warmer, “I don’t like when you joke about that stuff.” </p><p>Talia lifted his chin to look at her, placing a kiss on his lips. “‘Kashi, I’m sorry you’re offended by my jokes. I forget how sensitive you are sometimes. I won’t talk about your sexuality like that. It’s just that…” Talia paused, dropping Akaashi’s chin and looking away, her eyes cast to the floor where Akaashi’s once gazed.</p><p>“What?” he asked. </p><p>“I sometimes wonder if you are actually attracted to me. I know you <em>say </em>you like women, too. But how am I supposed to know that for sure?”</p><p>“You should trust that I’m telling you the truth. I’ve communicated my feelings with you, Talia. What else do you need from me?”</p><p>Talia looked back up and, taking Akaashi’s hand in hers, “Can you prove it to me?” she asked, her eyes locking with Akaashi’s. </p><p>“How do you want me to prove that I’m attracted to you?” Akaashi scoffed. </p><p>Talia kissed him again on the lips before moving to his neck, sucking gently at the skin. Akaashi noticed that she began to work on the buttons of his shirt gently. He took her hands in his to stop her motions.</p><p>“What’s wrong? Don’t you want to prove how much you’re attracted to me?” She tried to wiggle her hands free and work on his shirt again, just to have him catch them once more. </p><p>“Talia, I don’t think I’m ready to, um… I think we should wait.”</p><p>“You’re not a virgin, though,” she said. “You told me you had sex with Bokuto. What’s the big deal? We don’t have to do everything. We can just go down on each other.” </p><p>“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that yet. We haven’t been dating that long. And it doesn’t matter if I had sex with Bokuto. Our relationship is separate from yours and mine. And what if my parents come home?”</p><p>“Your parents aren’t going to be home for hours, I’m sure we won’t need that long.”</p><p>“I’m just not sure if I’m completely comfortable yet.” </p><p>“‘Kashi, if you care about me, if you’re <em>really </em>attracted to me, you’ll do this. For me.” Talia kissed Akaashi’s neck again before moving to the side of his jaw, and then his ear. “How about it? Haven’t you ever wanted to see a girl naked before?” He blushed, a little from the arousal beginning to form in his trousers as she continued to straddle him in her school skirt, and partially from the prospect of <em>seeing </em> Talia nude. </p><p>When they had started dating, he tried watching porn because he had only seen nudity in films or anatomical models in science textbooks. He hated watching the movies as he found the men were often too rough with the women and the women tended to be caricatures themselves. He didn’t care that they had modified their bodies to enhance themselves, but he knew that’s not what Talia looked like. He turned it off after two clips. </p><p>He swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to build up the nerves to make a move, but only managed a meek, “Okay.” ***</p><p>“Eeh!” Talia squealed, wrapping her arms around him again, and kissing him deeply. “Okay, take my shirt off,” she said, excitedly. Akaashi looked down at the blouse, which suddenly became a Rubik’s cube, as he fiddled with the buttons nervously. </p><p>Once he successfully unhooked all the buttons, he moved his hands to rest on Talia’s thighs, letting the shirt hang open, her pale skin and bra peeking through. She shirked it off, letting it fall to the floor, and leaving her with just the bra and her skirt, still sitting on top of Akaashi. The bra was too nice for just a normal school day. The lacy fabric graced the skin at the top of Talia’s breasts and the cups pushed them up as Akaashi had seen in American Sports Illustrated. He felt his trousers tighten even more. </p><p>“Why don’t we move to the bed where it might be more comfortable?” Talia suggested. </p><p>Akaashi hesitated. The bed. He and Bokuto lost their virginity to one another on that bed. They spent hours wrapped in each other's arms on that bed. They shared so many kisses on <em>that bed</em>. If Akaashi and Talia were in a relationship too, why did it feel wrong to do these things on his bed where he had shared so many firsts with Bokuto?</p><p>“Sure,” he replied after a moment. The two stood slowly. Talia worked on Akaashi’s shirt quickly, removing it and letting it join hers on the floor. She smoothed her hands up and down his torso, taking in his toned physique, kissing his skin before moving forward. </p><p>Akaashi sat with his back against the headboard as Talia shifted on top of him, once again straddling him, the hem of her skirt grazing his trousers. She sat lower, grinding a little against his arousal and smiling at him when she felt how hard he was. She placed her hands on his chest pressing lightly on the muscles as she started to kiss Akaashi again. </p><p>“You can touch me, you know,” Talia said, pausing her kisses. “I’m all yours, ‘Kashi.” Akaashi paused for a moment, thinking about where to move his hands. He didn’t have to think this hard when he was with Bokuto. He opted for her hips as they seemed to be the safest bet, still covered in her skirt. </p><p>Talia smirked a little and continued to kiss Akaashi, attempting to part his mouth and explore with her tongue. She was aggressive, licking the roof of his mouth, his tongue, and his lips. She wrapped her fingers in his hair, pulling herself closer to him, pressing her chest against his. </p><p>“Do you think we’re going too fast?” Akaashi asked, breaking the kiss. </p><p>“No,” Talia breathed, going in for another long kiss. She moved her hands from Akaashi’s hair and put them behind her back. When Akaashi opened his eyes, her bra was hanging from her arms, barely covering her. She smiled at him before tossing the bra onto the floor with their shirts. </p><p>Akaashi attempted to look Talia in the face, keeping his eyes level with hers, but she laughed and said, “You can look. I want you to.” So he did. Her breasts were smaller than he had anticipated based on their appearance sheathed in their lacy holster. But Akaashi liked the more natural look now that he could see them exposed. He liked her nipples, small, not quite center, and not quite pink, but more of a sudden coral in color. </p><p><em> Bokuto’s are darker, a little bigger</em>, he thought to himself, and then tried to shake thoughts of Bokuto from his head altogether. He shouldn’t be thinking of his boyfriend while his girlfriend was sitting half-naked on his lap. But it was hard not to compare the two. </p><p>Seeing her exposed torso in front of him, Akaashi acknowledged that Talia was a true athlete based on the lithe yet tone physique of her body mixed with the discoloration of her skin caused by contact with the wood floors or a stray volleyball. She was a beautiful monster.</p><p>He leaned in and kissed her cheek gently, ghosting his hands up the sides of her body, his fingers moving up until they reached her breasts. He placed his hands on them gingerly, as if she would crumble under his touch. “Is this okay?” he whispered.</p><p>“Of course,” she responded. He began to circle his middle finger around her nipple, stimulating the bud until it hardened under his touch. He then pinched it between his thumb and forefinger, pulling it taut and watching her face as she bit her lip. </p><p>Talia moved her hands down to Akaashi’s thighs and then began to pull down the zipper on his trousers. He took a few deep breaths, suddenly a lot more nervous about their position and what they were about to engage in. Akaashi took a sudden sharp breath when he felt Talia’s hand palm his clothed erection, moving up and down the length, still in his pants. She gave him a bemused expression before reaching her hand into the waistband of his boxers and began to glide her fingers up and down the length as best as she could. </p><p>“You don’t have to do that,” Akaashi breathed, feeling his cock twitch each time she moved her hand. </p><p>“It would be a lot easier if these pants weren’t in the way,” she responded. “Why don’t I help get you out of them?” </p><p>“That’s okay, we can leave them on for now.”</p><p>“What’s the matter, ‘Kashi? Do you have a small dick or something? I want to see it. Please?” She moved closer, making sure to grind on Akaashi’s exposed lower half, and whispered in his ear, “I know I can make you feel real good, and you’re already so hard for me. Don’t you want me to make you feel good?” </p><p>“I feel like we should wait, you know?” Akaashi tried to reason. Talia sat back slightly, a small pout on her lips. She crossed her arms, moving Akaashi’s hands out of the way. </p><p>“How come you don’t want to have sex with me, Akaashi?” </p><p>“That’s not what I said,” he replied, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “All I said is that we should wait.” </p><p>“Well, it feels like you just don’t want to have sex with me.”</p><p>“That’s not true if you can’t tell by how hard my dick is right now. Talia, we’ve only been dating for about a month. We’ll have plenty of time to have sex and do whatever. But it just feels too soon to me.” </p><p>“Are you going to have sex with Bokuto when you visit him next weekend?” she asked, her voice small. </p><p>“Is that what this is about? Are you jealous of Bokuto? That relationship has nothing to do with this one. What he and I do shouldn’t matter to you.”</p><p>“I know. I just feel like if you actually cared about me, you would be willing to prove it.”</p><p>“I <em> do </em>care about you.” </p><p>“Then why won’t you show me?” she asked, practically yelling, with tears in her eyes. Akaashi pushed her forward, positioning himself on top of her, his hands on either side of her head. He lowered himself down to kiss her lips before moving down her neck to the rest of her body. </p><p>“Does this prove how much I care about you?” he asked, lifting his head from her sternum. </p><p>“Almost,” she said, pushing his head back down. He moved to her breast, circling his tongue around her nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucking hard, knowing he was sure to leave a purple bruise on the skin. He took her hardened nipple in between his teeth and began to apply light pressure while working her other breast with his opposite hand. </p><p>He moved down further, kissing and sucking and biting, leaving marks and a trail of reddened skin along her torso. He reached the hem of her skirt and teased his tongue right over the top, right below her navel. He sat back on his heels and moved his hands up her thighs, under her skirt. Akaashi paused, feeling the shorts Talia wore under her skirt, gave her a questioning look, and waited until she nodded with approval. </p><p>Akaashi pulled down her shorts and tossed them with the rest of their clothing on the floor, leaving Talia in her skirt and underwear below him. He began to hike the skirt up slowly, gauging Talia’s reaction as he exposed her more and more. He noticed that her underwear had the same lacy design and color as her bra. </p><p>“I got a matching set,” she said with a small smile on her face. “Do you like them?” Akaashi smiled and began to place kisses along her thighs and moved to right above the top of her underwear. “You can take them off…” Akaashi felt himself blush and could feel his face getting hot. He had never seen a naked woman in front of him. Breasts were one thing, but anything else? </p><p>“Are you sure?” he asked, feeling the nervous tremor in his voice. Talia leaned up and placed her hand on Akaashi’s face. She pulled him in for a deep kiss, letting her tongue drift over his lips. </p><p>“Akaashi, I’m ready. Don’t worry about me.” She placed another kiss on his lips and laid back down on the bed. Akaashi placed his fingers on either side of her waistband and began to pull. She wiggled a little, helping him move the garment down her legs until they had been fully removed. He put them on the floor with the rest of their clothes before he looked back to her. </p><p>Talia pulled her skirt up and laid it along her stomach, providing Akaashi a full view.</p><p>She had a bit of pubic hair, darker than the hair on her head, and curlier, but it appeared that she had groomed recently based on the razor bumps on her inner thighs. Akaashi noticed a black beauty mark through her hair, small and perfectly round. He felt the desire to kiss it. He felt like he was studying her anatomy, something foreign to him, but enticing. He noticed the various layers, he wasn’t sure what to call them, to her vagina. He didn’t know where to begin, but he had the desire to kiss and suck. </p><p>He didn’t have to think as much when he first saw Bokuto naked. He knew, of course, that Bokuto was attractive and fit - his body more muscular than Akaashi’s - but he knew what a penis looked like. He knew what might feel good based on what pleased him. But Akaashi was completely unfamiliar with what might work for Talia. </p><p>“What… um, do you… what do you like?” Akaashi said, stumbling over his words a little. </p><p>Talia laughed a little and pushed her legs together. “You could start with your fingers… or you could kiss me down there. I can guide you.”</p><p>Akaashi nodded, lightly pushed her legs apart, and moved his hand down, and slowly eased his middle finger inside of her. He glanced up, checking to make sure he wasn’t hurting her in any way. He felt more texture than when he would prep himself or Bokuto, and she felt hotter, wetter. </p><p>“Is this okay? Does this feel good?” Akaashi asked. </p><p>“Yeah, move your fingers, ‘Kashi,” Talia instructed. He obliged, beginning to pull and push his finger in and out, listening to the quiet sounds of her body and her short breaths. Akaashi maintained focus on Talia’s face, unsure where else to look, feeling embarrassed to stare lower. She had her eyes closed and bit her bottom lip lightly, her brow furrowed in… pleasure? </p><p>“Are you alright?” he asked. </p><p>“Yes, Akaashi. I’m fine,” she responded, opening her eyes to look at him. She sounded a little frustrated with his consistent questioning. </p><p>“Sorry, I’m just not sure if I’m doing this right. I don’t want to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable in some way.” </p><p>“You’re fine. Sorry, I should be guiding you more. Why don’t you kiss me down there? That will feel good. Have you ever eaten a pussy?” Akaashi wrinkled his nose at the word. “What? Do you not like the word pussy?”</p><p>“It just sounds objectifying.” </p><p>“Why? You called your penis a dick. Do you ever say cock or something else?” </p><p>“I guess you’re right. Tell me if I do it wrong, though. Okay?” Talia nodded as Akaashi lowered himself down. He started by kissing her thighs before making his way up. When he got to her lips, he paused, not sure how to begin, and then opted for his tongue. </p><p>She tasted bitter, a little bit metallic, he didn’t enjoy it too much. But he looked up at Talia through his lashes and could see she had closed her eyes again and seemed to be enjoying his motions. He circled a few times before pushing his tongue inside a bit, pausing when he heard her intake some air.</p><p>“You don’t have to push your tongue in, just lick my clit,” she said. </p><p>“Um, okay.” He returned to his motions, testing different patterns to see which ones earned better reactions. </p><p>“A little higher… yeah… right there.” Akaashi focused all his energy on his tongue, trying to produce as much pleasure as possible in one area. With a small moan, Talia pushed her legs together, pinning Akaashi’s head between her thighs and pushing him away from her slightly. </p><p>“Are you okay?” he asked hesitantly.  </p><p>“Yes, silly. You just made me come. Here, let me help you now.” Talia sat up quickly, pinning Akaashi under her, and began to kiss down his chest. Before he could react, she reached into his pants and pulled out his erection. She began to stroke it, a little too quickly and too tight for Akaashi. He put his hand on hers to stop her motions, causing her to look up with a quizzical look. </p><p>“Wait a second. You’re going too quickly. Here,” he reached over to his nightstand, pulling out the lube from the drawer and handing it to Talia. “Use this.” She studied it for a moment, turning it over in her hands. </p><p>“Isn’t this what you use for when Bokuto fucks you?” </p><p>“You don’t have to phrase it like that. And what makes you think he’s the top?” </p><p>“Well, he’s bigger than you. Don’t tell me you’re the one who tops him. Are you?” </p><p>“We switch. That’s not the point right now. Just use the lube.” </p><p>She shrugged and squirted some of the lube in her hand before stroking again, using slower, more fluid motions. Akaashi sat back, relaxing into her touch and allowing her to work. She leaned forward and began to kiss his neck as she quickened her pace. Akaashi could feel himself getting more worked up, his orgasm building as the heat in his belly grew. </p><p>“Come on, ‘Kashi. I know you’re close. Can you come for me?” He shuddered as he felt the semen spurt out, leaving streaks across Talia’s hand. She kissed him again and leaned close to his ear. “I want you inside me,” she whispered. </p><p>Akaashi swallowed hard. They had made it to a certain point where he wasn’t sure if he could turn back. He didn’t feel ready for this, but he wanted Talia to know he did care for her, he liked her a lot. He didn’t want to disappoint her. He didn’t want to disappoint himself. He wondered what Bokuto was doing at that moment. </p><p>“There are condoms in that drawer,” he said quietly. Talia wiped her hand off on Akaashi’s bedsheet before leaning over and finding the condoms in his nightstand. She moved back to her spot and kissed him again, deeply, with need. </p><p>“Do you want me to put it on?” she asked. </p><p>“Do you know how to?” </p><p>“I think so.” She opened the package, pulling out the condom, and inspected it. Akaashi stood from the bed to remove his pants and tossing them in the growing pile of their clothes. </p><p>He walked back to the bed and allowed Talia to place the condom over his tip, pinching the top, and rolling it down. He shivered a little, still sensitive from his orgasm. Talia sat back and admired her work.</p><p>He locked eyes with Talia who seemed to be staring at him. He felt overwhelmingly self-conscious. “What?” he asked. </p><p>“Did you know your penis is crooked?” she asked bluntly. </p><p>“Thanks,” Akaashi deadpanned. </p><p>“I didn’t mean it as a negative. I’ve heard that’s better for sex, crooked penises can rub your insides in different ways that feel good.” </p><p>“Great, good to know.” </p><p>“Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. You have a really nice butt, though.” Akaashi returned to the bed. Talia reached for the zipper of her skirt, just to have Akaashi reach out to stop her. </p><p>“Leave it on,” he said. She smiled at him and then moved closer, placing herself underneath him, and then began kissing him once again. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him close, feeling his erection against her thigh.</p><p>Akaashi looked away, breaking the kiss, his cheeks flushed. He felt Talia’s hand on his face, urging him to look at her. “I’m ready,” she said and smiled. He took a deep breath and nodded. He lined himself up to her and then eased his hips forward. Talia sucked in a long breath as Akaashi pushed forward. </p><p>“Does it hurt? Do you want me to stop?” he asked. </p><p>“It’s a little painful, but it’s fine. Keep going. I’ll tell you if I want you to stop.” ***</p><p>It only lasted a few minutes, less than ten, at most. Akaashi apologized, thinking about how long he could last with Bokuto and wondering why that stamina didn’t translate with Talia. Talia dismissed his apologies, saying that she was okay, and asked him to finger her until she came. She said she shouldn’t have asked him to do it so close to her jerking him off. </p><p>They sat on the bed for a little while, holding hands in silence before Akaashi made the first move. “My parents will be home soon, we should get dressed. ...Sorry about your skirt.” </p><p>“It’s fine, it’s on the inside, so no one should be able to see it. I’ll make sure to wash it tonight.” </p><p>“I can walk you out, my parents might be upset if they know you were here without their supervision.”</p><p>“Because they think we’ll be up to no good?” Talia smirked at Akaashi. </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><hr/><p>“Hey Ji, you look great. I can’t talk for long, but I wanted to see you before we play,” Bokuto said. He insisted on a video call before his game, even though he only had a few minutes of downtime to chat. Akaashi could hear the background noise of the gym filled with spectators, most likely from the other team. Bokuto looked good in his uniform, Akaashi liked the way the away jersey colors complimented his eyes. </p><p>“Hey Kou, sorry I couldn’t come to your game, but you’re going to do great.”</p><p>“Don’t even worry about it, it would have been too far for you to take the train. But you’re still coming to visit me in two weeks, right?” </p><p>“Yeah. I already have my train tickets. I’ll be able to watch your game then. I’m excited to see you play.” </p><p>“I’m still kind of nervous to have you watch, but I can’t wait. I need to get to one of your games, I would love to see some of the guys from the team. I bet you’re doing great as the captain. And Coach is probably just as annoying as ever, huh?” Bokuto laughed, his eyes squinting, leaving wrinkles by the corners, his eyebrows raised. </p><p>“He’s been on our case lately. But I think it’s a good thing. We’ve been playing pretty well.”</p><p>“Of course you are. With such a great captain, there’s no way you wouldn’t be.” </p><p>Akaashi smiled at the phone and suddenly felt a sharp lump in his throat. He wanted to be with Bokuto. He wanted to watch him play, to see the joy on his face as he scored a point and contributed to his team’s inevitable victory. He wanted to get dinner with him afterward and watch as he slurped his ramen, broth dribbling down his chin and eventually getting onto his shirt and leaving a stain that Akaashi would help get out. He wanted to take a bath with him later and help massage out the sore muscles from a hard-fought match and then curl up in bed with him, maybe have sex, but that part didn’t matter. Akaashi just wanted to be with Bokuto and it hurt. </p><p>“I miss you,” Akaashi said, his voice faltering a little at the end. He feigned a cough, trying to suppress the tears that threatened to make an appearance, but judging by the change in Bokuto’s reaction, he wasn’t successful in faking it. </p><p>“What’s wrong?” </p><p>“Nothing. I just can’t wait to see you again. That’s all.”</p><p>“Keiji. Don’t lie to me, please. Are you okay? Did something happen? Did someone hurt you? I can come to see you tomorrow. It’s only a few hours, and I don’t have practice tomorrow either.”</p><p>“Kou, I’m fine. I just really miss you. You have to get to your game. Go win for me, okay?” Bokuto looked back behind him, hesitant to make a move, not wanting to hang up. He knew he had to get going, but he felt wrong leaving their conversation like this. </p><p>“I’m going to call you after the game, okay?” </p><p>“Okay. You can tell me all about your win tonight.”</p><p>“I love you,” Bokuto said, waiting for Akaashi before hanging up. </p><p>Akaashi took a second to breathe before answering. “I love you, too, Koutarou.” He hung up, knowing Bokuto wouldn’t have any more time to talk, but wouldn’t want to be the one to leave the conversation. </p><p>Akaashi felt his heartache, but was hopeful, excited, about talking to Bokuto later. He didn’t know why he was so upset, he had started missing Bokuto the moment he left for university and missed him every time their visits ended and he had to leave. Akaashi experienced this longing every time they separated, but why did he feel it so strongly at this moment?</p><p>Akaashi sat on his bed, pulling out his school work and beginning to write out his English sentences when he heard his phone buzzing. He wasn’t sure who would be calling him as Bokuto should have been playing at this time. He checked the caller ID and noticed Talia’s name. </p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Come outside.” </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Come outside, I’m by your house right now.” Akaashi walked down his stairs, pulled on a jacket and his shoes, and walked out the door. Talia stood on the sidewalk, bundled up with a scarf and jacket with the colder weather. She smiled at him as he walked out of the house. </p><p>“What are you doing here? Did you walk from your house?” Talia walked up to Akaashi and placed a kiss on his lips and then hugged him tightly. </p><p>“My parents dropped me off. I missed you. I thought we could go grab some food at that cute little restaurant nearby.”</p><p>“You missed me? We just saw each other a few hours ago,” Akaashi laughed. </p><p>“I know. But you always shut yourself in your room or go to visit Bokuto on the weekends, so I don’t get to see you as much. I know you can’t see him because of his game… so I figured we could hang out for tonight.” </p><p>Akaashi smiled, thinking about the gesture. He felt bad knowing that he did tend to leave Talia behind when it came to spending time with Bokuto. He often prioritized his weekend plans around homework, volleyball games, or going to visit Bokuto. He could have spent more time with his girlfriend. </p><p>“Alright, let’s go,” he said, kissing her on the cheek. </p><p>“Okay!” Talia took Akaashi’s hand and they began to walk toward the closest restaurant, a small little place with just a few tables, that was close to Akaashi’s house. He and Bokuto went there on their first date and Bokuto raved about how amazing the ramen was and that, “No ramen anywhere else in the world would ever compare to this ramen right here.” When Akaashi asked him what made it so special, Bokuto replied, “Because you’re here.” He felt slightly guilty sitting in a booth with someone who was not Bokuto. </p><p>“I’ll take the beef ramen,” Akaashi ordered. </p><p>“Sosu yakisoba, please!” Talia was much too excited for just a dinner date and Akaashi wondered what she was so happy about. </p><p>“You seem like you’re in a really good mood,” Akaashi commented. Talia looked at him and smiled. </p><p>“Of course I am. I’m spending time with my amazing boyfriend. Why wouldn’t I be happy? Do you want to go to the movies tomorrow?”</p><p>“I was going to go to the Mori tomorrow. There’s a new art exhibit being shown and I wanted to go check it out. You can come if you want to.”</p><p>“Eh, I get kind of bored in those museums. I don’t know what’s so interesting about looking at a bunch of paintings on a wall for hours.”</p><p>“It’s not just paintings, there are different installations they put in that artists can create out of various materials. It’s fun to see how they can use found items or oil paint to create something so beautiful.” </p><p>“Hm, I guess I just don’t understand it. Say, can I ask you a question?” Akaashi raised his eyebrow as Talia’s smile seemed to grow a little wider. He was skeptical and unsure of what she was about to ask, but he had no reason to be suspicious of her. “It’s not so much a question as an idea… maybe.” He felt she had been acting a little strange, but conceded. </p><p>“Okay? What is it?”</p><p>“Well, you told me that you were in a relationship before with two men: Bokuto and Kuro, right?” she began. </p><p>“Kuroo. But yes, continue.” </p><p>“Would you ever want to be a couple with me <em>and </em> Bokuto, together?” she asked, her voice trailing off at the end. </p><p>Akaashi looked at Talia, dumbfounded and not sure how to respond. He understood what she meant, but he never thought about the three of them all being involved with one another. It was different with Kuroo because he and Bokuto already knew each other. But Talia and Bokuto were strangers to one another. On top of that, she was a few years younger than him. Surely, the two would not be compatible. Thinking about a future with the three of them did not seem possible, especially with Akaashi going off to college soon. He would have to figure out any visits with Talia once that came up. There was no way she and Bokuto could get to know each other at this time. </p><p>“No. Why would you ask that?”</p><p>“I just was thinking that it seems difficult for you to have to split your time between the two of us. So what if you didn’t have to?” </p><p>“No. Our relationship is separate from mine and Bokuto’s. That’s how it is.”</p><p>“I know, I just thought-”</p><p>“That’s how it is, Talia,” Akaashi cut her off. “Drop it.” She looked at him with wide eyes, moisture gathering around the edges. Akaashi signed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get upset with you. I want to continue to keep my relationships separate. If you want to date other people, you can do that. I wouldn’t have an issue with it.” </p><p>“I don’t want to. I just wanted to make things easier for you. It’s okay. Anyway, let’s talk about something else. I should be able to go to your next game or at least part of it. Ours will start later in the other gym on campus. I should be able to catch the beginning of it.”</p><p>“Cool, that’s sweet of you.” </p><p>“That means you can come to the end part of my game then, right?”</p><p>“Well, Bokuto is going to be visiting, so we will probably get dinner after my game. I’m not sure I’ll be able to watch. But I’m sure you’ll do great.”</p><p>“Oh.” Their food arrived, pausing their conversation as they began to eat in silence. Talia picked at her yakisoba noodles.</p><p>“Talia, I”m sorry I was rude to you. I shouldn’t have snapped like that. You were only trying to think of a way to spend more time together.”</p><p>“Do you want to be in this relationship, Akaashi?” Talia asked. “Because I feel like you don’t want to be. It’s okay if you don’t want to. I just want you to be honest with me. It always feels like you are just counting down the minutes until you get to be with Bokuto again. Do you know what it feels like to be temporary? That’s how you treat me. It’s like you’re just biding your time until you get to see him again and then I completely disappear and I don’t matter. I <em> do </em>matter, Akaashi.” She stood from the table, putting on her coat, and walked toward the door. Akaashi sat for a moment, unsure of how the conversation had turned or what to do next. He put a few bills down on that table that would cover the cost of the meal and went after Talia. </p><p>She had made it a little way before he caught up to her at a bus stop, he had forgotten how long her legs were or how quickly she could move. She buried her face in her scarf, and Akaashi could see the streaks of residual moisture on her cheeks. </p><p>“There are no more busses running tonight,” Akaashi said as he approached her. She shot him a look, daggers in her eyes. “Come on, it’s cold out. We can go back to my place and talk.” </p><p>“I’ll just call my mom to come and get me.” </p><p>“Talia, please,” he said, extending his hand out to her. She looked at it for a moment before taking it and standing. Akaashi pulled her into him and hugged her close, weaving his fingers in her long hair. She leaned her head against his chest and began to cry quietly. </p><p>Talia took a breath to steady herself. “You don’t like me as much as you like Bokuto. That’s fine, but I want you to commit to me, too. Especially when I’m the one who’s here,” she said between sniffles. </p><p>“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you didn’t matter. I guess I have been just copying my relationship with Bokuto and sticking it onto our relationship and that doesn’t really work.” Talia looked up at him, her face a little confused. </p><p>“I don’t think I understand,” she said. </p><p>“Um, we used to just spend time together in school and at practice or doing homework together. We didn’t do anything special because our parents don’t know about the two of us. My parents don’t even know that I’m not straight. Having a partner that I can do things with in public, introduce my parents to, be “normal” with… it’s new to me. I also didn’t want to lose a connection with Bokuto, with him being a few hours away now and us <em>having </em>to work harder. I think you’ve just suffered the consequences of me not having my shit together. I’m sorry. I’ll work harder.” </p><p>Talia nodded, “I get it. I’m kind of needy, too, I guess.” She laughed a little before looking serious again. “But I care about you a lot. I want this to work.”</p><p>“Me too.”</p><p>“Can I spend the night with you?” she asked. </p><p>“Won’t your parents be upset that you’re spending the night with your boyfriend?” </p><p>“I didn’t tell them whose house they were dropping me off at. I just said it was a friend. They’ll forget the house in a week or so. Are your parents home or did they go away again?”</p><p>“They’re out of town. Are you sure they won’t figure it out?” Akaashi asked. </p><p>“I’m sure.”</p><p>“Okay. Let’s go.”</p><p>Akaashi took Talia’s hand in his as they walked back toward his house. They were quiet most of the way, exchanging a few words, but mostly trying to bundle up against the cold winds of the night air. The lights of the homes around were dim enough that Akaashi could see the stars above and pointed out a few constellations for Talia. She leaned into him, claiming she was cold. </p><p>They arrived back at his house and changed for bed, Akaashi providing a t-shirt for Talia to sleep in. They curled up against each other in bed, with plenty of room for the two of them. Talia’s head lay softly on Akaashi’s chest, her hair cascading down her back and tickling Akaashi’s arm that wrapped around her. Akaashi looked down at her as she fell asleep quietly, her breathing steady and rhythmic. He placed a small kiss on her forehead and looked up at the ceiling, taking his time falling asleep himself. </p><hr/><p>Akaashi looked at the piece in front of him, infatuated by the multitude of fonts and mediums used. It looked like graffiti to some, like several years of high school kids contributing to vandalism on the inside of a desk. But he liked the way the shapes all seemed to work together, conscious and unconscious thoughts colliding together in one space to tell a story.</p><p>Talia left in the morning. She said she was going to practice with a few teammates and then go see a movie with them later. She didn’t seem interested in going to an art exhibit to look at walls of canvas or sculptures or desktops of handwriting. When Akaashi explained the exhibit he was interested in to her, she didn’t understand. </p><p>“A bunch of writing from desktops? I can go to school to see that for free,” she had said. But this writing and drawing, and scribbles, were from students from all over the world. Their ideas and feelings colliding together through one universal medium that seemed to connect all adolescents. </p><p>Talia didn’t seem impressed, so Akaashi went alone. That was fine with him, he enjoyed his solitude and viewing pieces by himself, being able to fully immerse himself in a person’s work, analyze their intentions, and try to relate to them. He found one particularly interesting piece and stood for a moment, studying the lines of the lettering, the colors of the pen work. </p><p>Akaashi was so lost in the piece, he jumped a little when he felt a hand reach out for his and interlace their fingers. He looked over and noticed Bokuto standing next to him, looking at the piece in front of them. After a brief moment of shock, Akaashi mustered up the ability to speak. </p><p>“What are you doing here?” he asked in a hushed voice.</p><p>“I’m looking at art. You?”</p><p>“Kou, I meant what are you doing back home. How long did it take you to get here? You just had a game last night and then…shit.” Akaashi realized he had never heard from Bokuto later, but he didn’t recall getting a phone call from him either.</p><p>“When you didn’t answer my call last night, I got a little worried so I decided to come back for the rest of the weekend to see you.” Akaashi pulled out his phone to check it but did not see any missed calls or texts. </p><p>“I don’t have any missed calls from you. I’m sorry, Kou. I wonder if my phone’s on its way out. How did you know I would be here?”</p><p>“It’s fine, maybe my reception was bad. I knew you liked this museum the most, so I checked the website, and when they showed this new exhibit, I figured you would be here. I’ve been here for like an hour hoping you would show up.” </p><p>“You could have texted me.”</p><p>“I wanted to surprise you,” Bokuto said, lifting Akaashi’s hand and placing a kiss on the knuckle. Akaashi looked around a little before looking back at Bokuto. </p><p>“Kou…” </p><p>“Don’t worry, no one here is paying attention to us. Why don’t you tell me about this one? You’ve been staring at it for about twenty minutes.”</p><p>“You’ve been watching me for twenty minutes?”</p><p>“Maybe longer,” Bokuto smiled at Akaashi before returning his attention to the piece in front of them.</p><p>“It’s called <em> Frequencies </em>…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for the 1.8k reads, the comments, and the kudos. If you have any feedback, especially after this chapter, please let me know.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Blush</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Bokuto, you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to with me. I think you’re so amazing just in that you’re willing to talk to me. I can tell that you tend to take care of others, I can see it in the way you interact with Akaashi, and even when you and I are around each other. Please make sure you take care of yourself, too.” </p><p>His gaze fixated on your hands together on the table. He intertwined your fingers and gave your hand a gentle squeeze, you felt the breath being pulled from your lungs, “You too.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi folks, no trigger warnings this week, thanks to those who read through last week, that will probably be the heaviest chapter as I don't want this story to just be full of angst. I will say, I think this might be my favorite chapter so far and I hope you all like it too!</p><p>Reader's notes: a single line denotes a change in scene, a double line denotes a change in time (past, present, future).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You and Kuroo sat together watching the remainder of Bokuto’s practice. Kuroo talked to you about the various positions and volleyball rules, but you couldn’t recall what he was saying as your eyes were fixated on Bokuto the entire time. Each leap into the air seemed higher than the previous. The way he pivoted to slam the ball in a different direction based on where the people on the other side of the net were felt like the moves of a genius. And the way he would occasionally dive to the ground to save the ball looked like it would be painful, but there was an elegance to it. Everything was beautifully orchestrated. </p><p>The mens’ coach called for the end of their practice and Bokuto walked over to where you and Kuroo had been sitting. He looked a little confused at first but smiled at Kuroo nonetheless. </p><p>“Nice practice, Bo,” Kuroo said, slapping Bokuto’s butt hard. Bokuto grimaced and rubbed his backside. </p><p>“Fuck, asshole. Thanks. What are you two doing here?” Bokuto asked. He looked down at you for a moment, his face red from practice, before returning to Kuroo. </p><p>“I wanted to see you play before I left and this one here,” Kuroo gestured to you, “I found her wandering about and we got to talking. I don’t think she’s ever seen you play. Say, those compression sleeves look a little small or at least worn. Did you put on more muscle or something?” </p><p>Bokuto pulled up the bottoms of his shorts a little to show the top part of his sleeves. You stared at the small bit of puffy skin that puckered out from the top as well as the tiny strands of hairs on his inner thighs and swallowed hard. You felt bad for looking, you were still trying to figure out everything with Akaashi, but Bokuto was so attractive as well, without so much as trying. At this moment, sweat dripping from his messed up hair, stained shirt, and bruised hues gracing his skin, you couldn’t help but think that Bokuto looked incredibly hot. </p><p>“Yeah, I’m going to have to get a new pair soon. I’ve been putting it off because they’re so damn expensive, at least for a good pair. These can get me through another month, maybe two.” He dropped his shorts and you refocused your gaze to his face. He shot you a raised eyebrow, as if he had noticed your staring at him, but then returned his attention to Kuroo. </p><p>“I can have my team send you some,” Kuroo said. </p><p>“I’m not-”</p><p>“I know. I know,” Kuroo said, his hands raised in defense. “Think of it as due diligence for when you decide to go pro. You can remember the people who took care of you.” </p><p>“Yeah, yeah. So what do you think?” Bokuto asked changing his stance. He shifted his weight to one hip and crossed his arms, his biceps growing larger. You didn’t think that was possible. </p><p>“You guys look good out there. Be careful of those line shots, you might be over-rotating your shoulder when you reach back. I don’t want you to injure yourself and then have to sit out games or get surgery or something. A shoulder injury could end a career, Bo.” Kuroo seemed so concerned for Bokuto’s health and judging by the look on Bokuto’s face, he was seriously taking it all in. You had never seen Bokuto look so stern before. </p><p>Whenever you were at his and Akaashi’s apartment, he would always be joking around or goofing off, even when his ankles were in ice buckets or he was swearing and rolling out his muscles. The funniest moments were when he would have Akaashi help with a difficult-to-reach knot on his back and then yell out in pain and complain about Akaashi being too rough. </p><p>“Okay, I’ll take it easy for a bit. I’ll probably ice it tonight and see if Ji can work out any knots. My back has been a little tight lately, too.” You looked at Bokuto for a moment, still a little surprised at the informal use of Akaashi’s name, and then averted your gaze when he gave you an amused expression. “What?” he asked. </p><p>“Nothing. I think I just need to get used to you not calling him ‘Kashi or Akaashi. It might take a little time,” you replied. </p><p>“Well,” Kuroo started, “you’re talking to two men who have both fucked Akaashi, and one who still is, your life isn’t exactly normal, sweetheart.” You felt your face grow hot and your eyes open so wide, you could have sworn there was a chance for them to have fallen out. </p><p>“Dude, what the fuck?” Bokuto said, slapping Kuroo in the chest with the back of his hand. “Not cool. She’s new to this, you can’t just talk about him like that in front of her.” </p><p>“Oh? I think I might have offended you more than Y/N. She and I are good friends now, don’t you know?” Kuroo slung his arm around your shoulder and stuck his tongue out at Bokuto. While you were slightly embarrassed by the way Kuroo phrased the past relationship between himself, Bokuto, and Akaashi, you felt strangely at ease with their banter. It was nice to be a part of a group, even if it was a strange relationship triangle… square… thing. </p><p>You took a step out of Kuroo’s embrace and stood next to Bokuto. “You know, Kuroo. I think maybe you’re a little jealous because you’re not quite part of the group anymore. As you said, Bokuto and I are <em>still </em>fucking Akaashi. Do you feel left out?” Kuroo looked at you, his mouth hanging open. You suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable, maybe it was too soon for you to poke fun at him. He had just told you that he liked Akaashi more than Akaashi liked him and that was why he had to end the relationship because it hurt too much. Maybe his way of coping was humor, but did you have the right to make fun of that part of his life?</p><p>You looked up when you heard Bokuto laughing. The skin around his eyes crinkled almost shut and he tilted his head back as the sound echoed off the gym walls, filling the space. His laugh was loud and big, like him. It sounded gravely in his throat and you watched as his chest heaved with each breath, his laughter rioting through the air. He placed his hand on your shoulder and pulled you closer to him as he continued to laugh. You noticed a small dimple on his right cheek that appeared when he smiled widely and wondered if that had always been there. </p><p>“Shut the hell up, you stupid owl,” Kuroo scowled. </p><p>“Come on, Kuroo. You’re just upset because she straight up roasted your ass. I guess you’re going to have to figure out a better way to pick on us.” </p><p>“Whatever. I have to get heading out. I’ll let you know when I’m coming back to town, maybe I’ll bring Kenma with me. He and Akaashi haven’t seen each other in a while, I don’t think. It would be nice for them to reconnect. Y/N,” Kuroo turned his head to look at you, “let me know if you need anything, you’ve got my number. If you need me to come and knock some sense into this idiot or the other one, I’m just a call away.”</p><p>“Thanks,” you nodded and felt a sense of reassurance at the gesture. </p><p>“Oh, and Bo? I forgot to mention something.”</p><p>“What’s up?”</p><p>Kuroo took a step forward and smacked Bokuto with the back of his hand on his chest. Bokuto brought his hand up to where Kuroo hit and sucked in a breath. “Motherfucker,” he swore. “Kuroo, you fucking asshole. Leave already, goodbye.” Kuroo laughed, it was a strange cackling sound, and then left. </p><p>You turned toward Bokuto and felt your face flush as he began to lift his shirt over his head. You could see the perspiration between the ridges on his body remaining from practice, his skin had a slight reddish blush left from his workout. His abs looked defined, his muscles toned. You looked at him and felt your face get warm again, a reaction you knew you shouldn’t be having. You had already seen him shirtless plenty of times. </p><p> </p><p><em> Who would have thought I would be into a jock of all people</em>, you thought to yourself. </p><p> </p><p>You immediately noticed your heart skip as realization dawned on you. You liked Bokuto, you had a crush on Bokuto. This man was Akaashi’s roommate. No. Akaashi’s <em>boyfriend</em>. You were trying to work through things with Akaashi. You and Akaashi might start dating. You might become Akaashi’s girlfriend, and now you also had feelings for Akaashi’s boyfriend? When did that happen?</p><p>He dropped the shirt on the ground and brought his hand to his left nipple. You noticed a piercing that had not been there the last time you saw him shirtless - images of the first time filled your head, the time he was leaving from the shower and the towel on his waist was barely clinging to his body. The piercing looked a little red and swollen but didn’t appear to be bleeding or infected from where you were standing. </p><p>“That’s new,” you said shyly. </p><p>“Yeah, I just got it with Kuroo the other night. He has one, too. He probably took it out based on the fact he didn’t react when I hit him, that bastard. Does it look infected? Fuck, that hurt.” He walked close to you, holding his hand under his pectoral, around his nipple, for you to inspect. You were almost eye level to his chest due to his height and basically forced to stare at the muscles.</p><p>“Um, I don’t think so. But maybe get it looked at? I don’t know, sorry.” For the first time, with him so close to you, you noticed a small number of freckles dusting his chest and shoulders. He didn’t have much hair, but there was a dark patch of tendrils gracing the area below his navel, working its way in a neat line through the bottom part of his abs, as well as a bit that seemed to poke out from his shorts. </p><p> </p><p><em> I wonder what the rest of it looks like</em>, you thought and then quickly shook the inappropriate thought from your head. </p><p> </p><p>Bokuto took a step back from you quickly. He must have noticed how close he was standing to you, or the flushed look on your face. “Yeah, um… Ji looked at it the night I got it done because it was bleeding. He cleaned it and everything, but I just don’t want it to get infected or anything and then have my nipple fall off or something.”</p><p>“I don’t think that would happen, but maybe having him clean it again when you get home might be a good idea.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’ll ask him to do it again. Did you need anything? Or were you just here because of Kuroo?” </p><p>“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you, that is if you would be willing to chat for a little bit… again.” </p><p>“Sure. Um, Let me go shower real quick. I’ll be out in like, um, ten minutes or so. Meet me outside the gym.” </p><p>“Okay.” Bokuto nodded, picked up his shirt, and headed in the direction of the showers. His back was just as pleasing to look at as the front. You cursed at yourself for thinking about him in such a disrespectful way. </p><p>You moved outside the gym and began to scroll through your phone. You decided to text Akaashi to let him know you would be talking to Bokuto. You wanted to be upfront with him as much as possible, but you also wanted to make sure he knew that you had good intentions in chatting with Bokuto. </p><p> </p><p><b>Y/N</b>:</p><p>Hey, I hope you’re doing well. I just wanted to let you know I’m probably going to grab some food or something with Bokuto and chat with him. I just wanted to be honest with you. </p><p> </p><p>You waited for his response, scrolling through social media and emails until you received a notification from Akaashi. </p><p> </p><p><b>Akaashi</b>:</p><p>Okay, can I ask what you might be talking to him about? You can talk to me too if you want. I want to be more honest with you. I know I haven’t been so that’s probably not the easiest thing to believe right now, but I do want to be open with you.  </p><p> </p><p><b>Y/N</b>:</p><p>I wanted to get a little insight from him. I know I can talk to you, but I want to get his advice as someone who is dating you currently, someone who has dated you at the same time as someone else and might be dating you at the same time as me. I won’t ask anything super in-depth or personal. You and I can talk about those things later. </p><p> </p><p>You watched as the text bubbles appeared and disappeared a few times, Akaashi typing his response and stopping a few times before hitting send. </p><p> </p><p><b>Akaashi</b>:</p><p>That makes sense.</p><p>…</p><p>You said might.</p><p>So… that means you are interested in talking to me still? </p><p>And you still might want to date me?</p><p> </p><p><b>Y/N</b>:</p><p>Do you want to date me? You never asked me lol</p><p> </p><p><b>Akaashi</b>:</p><p>Sorry. I think we kind of forgot about that part. </p><p>But yes, I do want to date you. </p><p>I want you to be my girlfriend. </p><p>I’m sorry I’m asking you via text… that’s pretty shitty…</p><p> </p><p>You looked at the message and smiled, feeling your heart rate quicken a little and a smile on your face grow wider, taking up more space than necessary. Despite the issues you and Akaashi had already experienced, you still wanted to spend time with him. You wanted to go to his office and kiss him with the door closed, his hand resting on your thigh. You wanted to fall asleep in his arms and wake up to the smell of coffee in the morning. You wanted to lift his glasses and kiss him and go visit museums on the weekends, your hands intertwined. </p><p> </p><p><b>Y/N</b>:</p><p>Let’s talk tonight, okay? I want to give you my answer in person. </p><p> </p><p><b>Akaashi</b>:</p><p>Okay, I’ll see you tonight. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, did you want to grab some food or something? I’m starving.” You looked up to see Bokuto walking in your direction. His hair was now fully down, a little damp from his shower, and he had changed into sweat pants and a sweatshirt. All the moments you had just pictured with Akaashi, had changed to moments with Bokuto. You saw yourself cheering at his volleyball games or kissing him on while sitting on the kitchen counter. You imagined massaging his back after a long practice and placing kisses on the freckles smattering his chest. </p><p><em> Fuck</em>. </p><p>“Yeah, what are you in the mood for?” you asked. </p><p>“There’s a barbeque place not too far from here that we could walk to. I’m kind of feeling cow tongue, to be honest.” </p><p>“Sounds good,” you said, standing up to join him. </p><p>The two of you walked in relative silence for a while, a little awkward, as neither of you seemed to know how to open the conversation. You noticed Bokuto looking at you now and then out of the corner of his eyes, but when you returned his look, he would straighten his gaze and focus on the sidewalk in front of you. </p><p>“So-”</p><p>“Hey-”</p><p>You both spoke at the same time and then stopped once you realized the other person was beginning to say something. Bokuto continued to avert his gaze, his face a bit red in embarrassment. You weren’t quite sure why he was embarrassed. </p><p>You arrived at the small restaurant, grabbed a table, and ordered food. Once the waiter left, you began, “I’m sorry if this seems a little awkward or weird to be talking, but I wanted to get a little advice or maybe even some insight from someone who has <em>dated </em> Akaashi while he dated someone else. I hope that’s not inappropriate or you feel like I’m exploiting you or something. You don’t have to answer any questions if you don’t want to and-”</p><p>“Y/N, it’s fine. I don’t mind talking. I just don’t want to talk too much about Akaashi’s past or his personal stuff, you know? That should be something between the two of you.” </p><p>“Definitely, I just wanted to talk about you. And he knows that we’re talking, too, by the way. Just in case you were wondering. I didn’t want you to feel like you were going behind his back or something.”</p><p>“Oh, okay. So… what do you want to know?” Bokuto asked. </p><p>“Well, for starters, would you really be okay if Akaashi and I started dating? I know you were in a relationship with him and Kuroo at the same time, but that seems different.”</p><p>“How so?” </p><p>“You were friends with Kuroo. You knew him before you three started dating. And you already had an established relationship with Akaashi. So it seems like that would have been a good arrangement for the three of you. But maybe I don’t quite understand. I want to, though. I want to make sure that, if we do decide to start dating, I don’t do anything to make you uncomfortable or make you feel like you’re unimportant.” </p><p>“Thank you. I appreciate the fact that you are trying to consider my feelings before making this decision. But it should really be between you and Ji. As for the relationship between the three of us in high school, I’m not sure if it was a good idea or not, to be honest.” The food came to the table and Bokuto grabbed a piece of cow’s tongue and beef, laying them on the grill in front of the two of you. </p><p>“Why don’t you think your relationship was a good idea?” you asked.</p><p>“I mean, I’m still not one hundred percent if it was helpful or harmful. We had fun, we learned a lot about ourselves and each other, so I guess that’s the good part of it. But, it also ended badly. Ji and Kuroo haven’t talked for years, I think the rejection stuck with Ji, but he’s not one to burden other people with his feelings. Because I was still dating Kuroo, I don’t think he wanted to tell me how he was feeling.”</p><p>“I see, so… how do you feel about the idea of Akaashi and I dating?” you asked, a little nervous for the answer. </p><p>He flipped over the meat on the grill before responding. “I think it would be different with you. Kuroo is one of my best friends. I love Keiji, I do. You and I aren’t involved, we know each other, I think we’ve become pretty friendly, but if something were to happen, I think it would be okay. I don’t want it to end badly, though. I like you. I haven’t seen Keiji interested in someone like this. Not even…” Bokuto stopped, turning his attention toward the grill. You thought back to the letter from Akaashi and understood. </p><p>“Talia?” you asked quietly. He looked up at you and nodded softly. He placed the beef on your plate before putting a new piece on the grill. There was a moment of silence, just the sizzle of the raw meat searing over the fire. </p><p>“How did you learn about her?” Bokuto asked, eyes on the grill. </p><p>“Akaashi wrote me a letter and stuck it in my book, and then he handed it to me in class today. I must have left it at your apartment the night he told me about… everything. He mentioned her name, but no details. I have a feeling it’s going to be something we talk about if it had that much of an effect on him.” </p><p>“Yeah. Probably.” Bokuto turned the meat gently, keeping his gaze forward. His eyes squinted for a moment, but it didn’t seem like he was thinking about the barbecue or your conversation. It looked like he was remembering something. </p><p>“I’m not asking you to tell me about her, though. I don’t want to put that on you, Bokuto.” </p><p>“She ruined our relationship. She was the reason we broke up. I don’t know if I’ll ever learn her motivation for any of what she did, but she caused a lot of damage. Mostly to Akaashi, but I think that was more insidious. She fucked me up pretty badly… I’m happy that we were able to figure things out.” He paused and placed the meat on his plate. “That’s all I’ll say for now. I don’t want to get into it if that’s okay with you,” he said glancing up. </p><p>You nodded and gave him a shy smile. You took a breath and placed your hand on his. “Bokuto, you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to with me. I think you’re so amazing just in that you’re willing to talk to me. I can tell that you tend to take care of others, I can see it in the way you interact with Akaashi, and even when you and I are around each other. Please make sure you take care of yourself, too.” </p><p>His gaze fixated on your hands together on the table. He intertwined your fingers and gave your hand a gentle squeeze, you felt the breath being pulled from your lungs, “You too.” He pulled his hand away and placed a few more pieces of meat on the grill. “So, you want to know about being in a relationship with someone who is in <em> another </em>relationship?” You nodded softly, still a little focused on the heat left behind from his hand. </p><p>“Yes, please.”</p><p>“Well, it was good with the three of us, we spent a lot of time together, and we got to know ourselves and what the others liked and disliked. We had a lot of sex,” Bokuto laughed. “But I really enjoyed the times when we would just go out together to dinner or somewhere else. I think the part I would struggle with was when Ji and Kuroo would go off on their own. They’re both a bit smarter than I am, more into intellectual things. So they would go places like art museums or the theater if there was a play one of them wanted to see. I was always the one who did the physical things like going to the batting cages or the arcade, mini-golf.”</p><p>“Did you want to go to those things with Akaashi and Kuroo? Museums?”</p><p>Bokuto turned the meat and shrugged. “I don’t know. I think the biggest issue for me was just that they were out together, without me. When we first started to entertain the idea of Kuroo being a part of our relationship, Ji gave me some stuff to read. I remember something about how important communication was and that there wasn’t any room for jealousy in a poly relationship. I didn’t want to be that guy that worried about where they were and why they were out for so long, but I did. When Kuroo and I left for university, I kind of hated when Kuroo would go to visit on his own, it was lonely, and <em> I </em>wanted to be the one to see Ji. I’m sure he felt something like that knowing that Kuroo and I were living together and could just do whatever we wanted to, whenever we wanted to.” </p><p>“I see.” You were connecting some of the dots. If you said yes to Akaashi and became his girlfriend, you would have to be okay knowing that he was living with his boyfriend. On top of that, he and Bokuto had a stronger bond. </p><p>“Here,” Bokuto placed some more food onto your plate. “You should eat. If you decide to date Ji, we’re just going to have to be honest with him about how we’re feeling. That’s not something any of us - myself, Ji, or Kuroo -  did very well the first time.” You nodded, taking a few bites of food. “And I think we’re also going to have to communicate with each other,” he said motioning between the two of you, “in terms of how we’re feeling. If we work as partners in this, I think it will be fine. What about you?” </p><p>“Yeah, I think so, too.” Bokuto ate a few pieces of meat and smiled at you. </p><p>“I never asked you, but when did you start to develop feelings for Ji? I remember him mentioning a cute girl in one of his classes, and then later he told me that he was interested in trying to date someone again. But I don’t know much about your side of it all.” </p><p>“Well,” you started, “I remember Akaashi from a class we were in together. We worked on a project as a team, and I thought he was really cute, and smart. There was a time when we had a group meeting and one of the members came an hour late. Akaashi was so sarcastic to him the rest of the meeting. But… I couldn’t help but think he was really hot in his snarky remarks and side-eyes and eye rolls. He always came off polite, so it was like seeing a different side to him. He even apologized to <em>me </em>later saying that he shouldn’t have been so blatantly rude. Then, this semester, he ended up being my T.A. It felt like he was flirting with me, but I was never really sure until one day in class when he made it pretty clear.” You blushed, recalling Akaashi’s hand on your thigh, his hands in general. </p><p>“Did he touch your thigh?” Bokuto asked, taking you by surprise and making you wonder if he was reading your mind. </p><p>“He told you about that?”</p><p>“No,” he laughed. “But he hasn’t changed much. He has a thing for thighs, always has, ever since high school.” </p><p>You thought back to Akaashi touching you and remembered that he seemed to touch your legs and thighs the most. With this new piece of information, you couldn't help but wonder how much time he spent fixated on Bokuto’s body. The man was much more toned than you, especially his thick thighs and calves, from being part of a sports team for however many years. </p><p>“Bokuto, this might sound intrusive, and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to… but does Akaashi have a thing about, like, um… wearing stuff during sex? I don’t really know how to put it. Like stuff on legs?”</p><p>“Oh, I know what you mean. I don’t know if there is a name for it, but he can get turned on when I come straight home from practice and still have my compression sleeves on. It usually results in sex where I keep them on. He said he likes the way they make my legs look and the way the skin at the top puffs out. Did that happen to you?”</p><p>“He ripped my pantyhose…” </p><p>“Hm, that seems extreme.”</p><p>“Anyway, that’s not what you were asking about,” you said, shaking your head to push away the mental images of your night with Akaashi. “I knew he was attractive and I had a bit of a crush on him, and when he seemed to like me too, I had to say yes to a date. He makes me feel special. I like our conversations and how he holds my hand or kisses my ear. I like everything about him. I want to make this work. And after talking with you, I think I can.”</p><p>“Of course you can. You were going to try regardless of our conversation, Y/N,” Bokuto said, placing the last pieces of meat on the grill. You gave him a quizzical look, prompting him to explain. “In the gym, when I called him ‘Ji.’ It’s not the first time you’ve heard me do that. You said that you would need to get used to it. Meaning that you intended to stick around and try to get used to it.” </p><p>You thought back to your conversation from earlier and realized that Bokuto was correct. “You’re right. I still want to talk everything through with Akaashi, but I want to date him and be his girlfriend. So, I think we should come up with some rules between the two of us.” </p><p>“Like what?” </p><p>“I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide your relationship from me, ever. You have been with Akaashi longer than I have and your relationship is different. You two are not only boyfriends, but you’re best friends. So, even when I’m around, that doesn’t change.” </p><p>Bokuto turned the meat, “I can live with that. And the same will go for you and Akaashi. If you’re his girlfriend, then you’re his girlfriend. I would say that we need to talk to each other about how we’re feeling, even if it’s not fun. If it feels like Akaashi is prioritizing one over the other or treats one unfairly, we need to stick together.” </p><p>“Deal.”</p><hr/><p>You and Bokuto walked back to his apartment, chatting about random things. He seemed in much better spirits from the last time the two of you spoke and you were happy that there was an understanding between the two of you. Bokuto could be your confidant in this relationship. While that might be strange, there would probably be many instances where the two of you would need another person to consult or check in on, and you liked that it was Bokuto. The only issue you needed to deal with would be your sudden feelings for him. </p><p>While they seemed to be new, you thought back through previous interactions and didn’t feel surprised that you had developed a crush on him. He was always very sweet to you and from the first time you met - the moment you danced together in the bar - he had an overwhelmingly charismatic personality that drew people in. But, he was Akaashi’s boyfriend and not yours. You would have to deal with this and move on. </p><p>“Home,” Bokuto called as he opened the door to the apartment. You pulled your shoes off at the entrance and stood by the door. It felt a little awkward to be back in the apartment after the way you left the other night, but Bokuto has assured you that Akaashi would be happy to see you. That and you needed to talk to him. </p><p>You heard the bedroom door open and close, then the light sound of feet pattering against the floor as Akaashi made his way out into the main area of the apartment. Bokuto met him, taking long strides and reaching out his arms to capture him in a soft kiss, his hands on either side of Akaashi’s face. Akaashi reciprocated, placing his hands on Bokuto’s hips and pulling the other man closer to him. </p><p>The kiss only lasted for maybe two seconds and when they pulled away, Akaashi’s eyes were closed and he wore a smile that seemed so uncharacteristically natural. You felt jealous of both of them. His eyes opened and realization dawned on him as he noticed your presence by the door. His eyes and head snapped to look at you and then back at Bokuto. </p><p>“Um…” he began but didn’t know how to finish. </p><p>You raised your hands to stop him, “It’s okay. Bokuto and I had a chance to talk and I don’t want you to have to hide any part of your relationship from me. Besides, look how cute you guys are.” Bokuto beamed at you and then looked down at Akaashi who was still slightly confused.</p><p>“Um, okay. Good,” he nodded. “I’m glad you had an opportunity to talk and sort some stuff out. That’s good.” He looked away, opting to focus on the floor, as his words didn’t quite come together. Bokuto lifted his chin to face him and placed another kiss on Akaashi’s lips. </p><p>“It’s your turn. I’ll give you some space,” he said before moving away from Akaashi and walking toward his room. He gave you a small nod before disappearing and closing the door. </p><p>Akaashi turned toward you but kept his distance. You fidgeted a little in your spot, trying to work up the nerve to move forward. </p><p>“I’m sorry-”</p><p>“So I-”</p><p>You both began to speak at the same time, stopping once the other person began. Akaashi took a breath and began again. “I’m sorry. I should have told you everything a lot sooner and I shouldn’t have lied about mine and Bokuto’s relationship. I didn’t intend to hurt you but, I guess it doesn’t matter what my intentions were.” </p><p>You walked over to where Akaashi was standing and placed your hand on the side of his face. He leaned into the contact, a small smile on his face. “Let’s go somewhere more private,” you said. Akaashi took your hand and led you to his bedroom. You sat on his bed and he took a seat at his desk, maintaining a distance. </p><p>“I don’t really know where to start,” he said. </p><p>“Well, I can start then. You hurt me by not telling me the truth. I haven’t done anything to make you distrust me, so I don’t understand why you couldn’t be upfront with me from the start. I would have liked to have formed an opinion and decide with all the facts right away. Now it feels like I’m trying to play catch up.”</p><p>“I’m sorry. I know that’s not good enough. Do you have any questions for me?” Akaashi asked. </p><p>“A few. But I think we should take it slow.”</p><p>“We can start, though.”</p><p>“Okay. I read the letter you wrote… Do you really hate yourself that much, Akaashi?” you asked. He looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact. </p><p>“...I seem to have an issue with loving myself. I’m not sure when that started, but I don’t recall a time when I felt good about myself. I don’t want to blame it on others, I think that would be too easy, I think there's just something wrong in my brain with the way it’s wired. Kou said I should start talking to someone professionally.” </p><p>“That could be a good idea. I don’t want to pry too much into this, but I <em> do </em>eventually think we need to talk about her. It feels like she is at the epicenter of a lot of bad feelings and maybe the real reason you didn’t want to tell me about you and Bokuto.” You saw Akaashi tense up, his jaw tightened at the mention of Talia. </p><p>“Yeah… she caused a lot of damage. The last time I was in a relationship with two different people at the same time, it ended so badly and nearly ruined my and Kou’s relationship. I guess I was still scared that the same outcome would occur. I haven’t talked about it much.” </p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>“Who am I going to talk about it with?” he asked, looking up. “Kou? She hurt him just as much as she did me. I can’t just recount how bad she made me feel to the other person who had to deal with her… and me.” </p><p>“So you just kept it all inside the whole time.” He nodded. “We can work on that. It might not be my place to say, I wasn’t there for when it happened, but it might be good to talk through what happened with Bokuto and try to close that chapter together and reconcile as the two who were hurt the most.”</p><p>“You’re probably right.”</p><p>“And to be honest, if you feel so negatively about yourself, I would have to agree with Bokuto about seeing someone professionally. They could probably give you some strategies on managing it,” you said. </p><p>“Can I ask you something?”</p><p>“Of course.” </p><p>“You’re not bothered by me and Kou kissing or touching?” Akaashi asked. </p><p>“No, should I be?” </p><p>“When I’ve been in open relationships, I’ve done my best to keep them separate. When Kou and Kuroo continued to date each other, I didn’t want to know anything. When I started dating Talia, I didn’t share much with Kou because I didn’t think he would be interested in knowing about that relationship. I just want to make sure you’re <em> really </em>okay with seeing us act like a couple.” </p><p>“You are a couple,” you laughed. “Akaashi, Bokuto is very important to you. I think you’ve been hiding a very important piece of your life for a long time, I don’t want you to have to do that anymore. If we’re going to continue this relationship, we need to be open with each other, and that includes the people we care the most about.” </p><p>Akaashi smiled, a small blush covering his cheeks. “Thank you, “ he said. After a moment, he bit his lip, took a deep breath, and then asked, “Does this mean you <em> do </em>want to be my girlfriend, Y/N?” </p><p>You smiled at him and stood from the bed. Moving to where he was sitting on the chair, you bent down and placed a kiss on his lips. “Yes.” </p><p>Akaashi stood from the chair and placed his hands on your hips, pulling you in close. You put both your hands on his chest, feeling the familiar contours of his muscles; his touch put you at ease. You didn’t realize how much you had missed his embrace until now, even though it had only been a few days since the last time he held you. </p><p>He kissed the top of your head and whispered, “I’m going to work on myself. I’m going to work on being honest moving forward. No more secrets from now on. It might take me a little bit to tell you everything, but I will.”</p><p>You were happy that he was going to work on himself and you knew that you and Bokuto would push for him to get the help he needed. But you felt a nagging sensation in your chest as you thought about his statement, ‘No more secrets from now on.’ </p><p>“Akaashi, I want to be honest with you, too.” You took a small step back but stayed in his arms. You looked down, slightly embarrassed. </p><p>“Okay, is something wrong?”</p><p>“I don’t really know how to say this without being blunt and I just kind of came to this realization recently… but… um,” you felt yourself stumbling over your words. </p><p>Akaashi took hold of your chin, pulling your gaze to meet his, the blue-green eyes felt a little dangerous to you despite their softness. “You can tell me.”</p><p>“I have a crush on Bokuto,” you blurted out all at once and then slapped your hands over your mouth. You watched as Akaashi’s face changed to an unreadable expression. You couldn’t tell if he was upset or confused or sad. </p><p>He took a step back from you, now fully out of your embrace. “That’s interesting.”</p><hr/>
<hr/><p>Akaashi woke up to birds chirping outside Bokuto’s window, complemented by the soft sounds of his snoring. It had been a while since the two shared a bed for sleeping purposes, and when they did, they usually opted for Akaashi’s bed or the third bed as it was the largest and could accommodate Bokuto’s frame and how he would sometimes sprawl out in the middle of the night. Akaashi had forgotten about the tree outside Bokuto’s window and wondered how he slept through the birds’ singing each morning. </p><p>But in this space, wrapped in Bokuto’s arms, listening to his obstructed airways and the birds, Akaashi felt content. He snuggled into Bokuto a little more before remembering the piercing he had gotten the previous night. Bokuto breathed in deeply through his nose, let out a long groan, and began to stir. He opened his eyes, still heavy with sleep, and smiled down at Akaashi. </p><p>“Morning,” he whispered, his voice thick and groggy. </p><p>“Sorry, I forgot about your nipple,” Akaashi laughed a little. </p><p>“It’s okay. How does it look?” Akaashi carefully removed the gauze from the previous night and inspected the area gently. </p><p>“It’s a little swollen and kind of bruised. But I think it will be fine once it’s healed. You have to stop letting Kuroo talk you into doing stupid things.”</p><p>“Mhm. I think you’re going to like it, though. Once it doesn’t look like shit. I think you have a special place in your heart for my nipples,” Bokuto joked.  </p><p>“Oh? I think <em>you’re </em>the one who is going to like it,” Akaashi countered, moving a little closer to Bokuto’s ear. “I think you’re going to like it when I pull it with my teeth and drag my tongue against it. You’ve always had sensitive nipples, Kou.” </p><p>Bokuto smiled and tilted his head back, a small laugh escaping his lips. “You can’t be making me hard this early in the morning, Ji.”</p><p>“It’s like ten, it’s not that early.” </p><p>“Oh, well, in that case,” Bokuto said, lifting Akaashi’s shirt over his head and began to kiss his neck and shoulders. “I have plenty of time before practice this afternoon. Why don’t we make use of that time?” Bokuto kissed and sucked along Akaashi collarbones until Akaashi placed his hand gently around Bokuto’s neck, pulling him up to look at him. </p><p>“I’m going to take care of you,” Akaashi said, changing his position. Bokuto moved to sit against the pillows as he watched Akaashi push the blanket off the bed. Akaashi started a trail of kisses down Bokuto’s stomach to his navel. He hooked his fingers into Bokuto’s sweatpants to work them down, Bokuto shimmying a little to help until he was completely nude under Akaashi. </p><p>“I feel a little underdressed, maybe you should get rid of these,” Bokuto suggested, tugging on Akaashi’s shorts. Akaashi pulled them off quickly and tossed them to the floor. </p><p>“Hm, you’re not quite hard yet, I’m going to have to fix that,” Akaashi said, taking hold of Bokuto’s dick and licking a long strip from the base to tip. Bokuto closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headboard, focusing on the sensation of Akaashi’s tongue on his member. </p><p>Akaashi moved his tongue up and down Bokuto’s length, swiping across his balls, tip, and perineum, until Bokuto was hard, his erection standing tall. Akaashi took him in his mouth, pushing back as far as he could until he could feel his tip touch the back of his throat. He could hear Bokuto’s low moans as he cushioned his tongue under his cock and used his free hand to massage his balls. </p><p>“Fuck, baby. That feels… ah… when did you get so good at this?” </p><p>Akaashi pulled Bokuto out of his mouth, moving his hand up and down in fluid strokes, and with a small laugh, “‘Baby?’ When did you start calling me baby?” </p><p>“It just… mm… felt right…” he breathed in return. Akaashi snorted softly to himself and continued his work, watching Bokuto above him; his mouth was open, eyes closed, and he alternated between rubbing and pinching his unpierced nipple. </p><p>Akaashi felt his erection pressed against his stomach, now beginning to leak with precum. He reached back and began to stroke himself and Bokuto simultaneously. He felt his breath pick up as he quickened his pace, looking for relief. </p><p>“Hey,” Bokuto called out. “Let me do that,” he said, gesturing to Akaashi’s motions. “Come here, I can move.” He changed his position, lying flat on the bed, and motioned for Akaashi to move toward him. </p><p>“Are you sure?” Akaashi asked. “I’m not trying to suffocate you.” </p><p>“I’ll be fine, I promise. Come on.” Akaashi turned, letting Bokuto guide him back, his legs hooked under Bokuto’s arms as he grabbed one of Akaashi’s ass cheeks with one hand and reached his arm around his thigh to grab his cock with the other. </p><p>Akaashi felt Bokuto’s warm tongue moving, pushing, against his tight hole. That coupled with his hand stroking his cock, Akaashi knew Bokuto would be able to get him off quickly. Akaashi leaned forward and took Bokuto into his mouth again, earning a throaty moan against his backside. </p><p>Akaashi bobbed up and down, adding teeth and tongue, sucking the skin, stimulating the tip, and worked on massaging Bokuto’s balls as well. He took his middle finger and rubbed it over Bokuto’s slit, gathering a bit of precum. He then circled his finger around Bokuto’s hole, spreading the mixture like lube before pushing into the muscle. </p><p>“Fuck.” </p><p>“Does it hurt?” Akaashi asked. </p><p>“No, it feels fucking good. Shit… ah… ngh… curl your finger inside.” Akaashi obliged, searching for that sweet spot until he felt Bokuto convulse slightly under him. “Fucking shit! Ah, I’m going to come soon if you keep that up.” </p><p>“Noted.” Akaashi returned his mouth to Bokuto’s cock, leisurely sucking while probing against his prostate every so often, always earning a curse and a jolt under him. He was mildly determined to get Bokuto to come first, knowing how much stamina the other man usually had. He just needed to maintain focus on Bokuto and not on what Bokuto was doing to <em>him</em>. </p><p>It became increasingly more difficult as Akaashi felt the familiar sensation of his orgasm building, the heat blossoming in his stomach, as he felt Bokuto push harder against his hole with his tongue, his breath pulsing against his skin. Akaashi also could no longer ignore Bokuto’s rough hands working his cock. Akaashi used to dislike the texture of Bokuto’s hands when he was touching his member or when he would gently push and prod calloused fingers into his hole, but over time, he got used to the added effect their coarseness had on his body. </p><p>“Ah… oh fuck,” Akaashi moaned, Bokuto still in his mouth. He tried to push him even further to the back of his throat, tears pricking his eyes. He could hear Bokuto suck in a breath and curse behind him. Akaashi let his tongue move over the length as he relaxed his jaw, took a breath, and slowly pushed himself a little more toward Bokuto, feeling his dick move in the back part of his throat until Akaashi’s nose touched Bokuto’s pubic bone. </p><p>“Holy shit, Ji. Did you get my whole dick in your mouth? Fuck… ah… I’m going to come.” Akaashi took another breath through his nose and let his tongue work on Bokuto. He could feel him spasm in his mouth before the hot cum worked its way into his throat. “Fucking shit,” Bokuto cursed, giving up on Akaashi’s hole and placing both hands on his ass, squeezing tightly as he came. </p><p>When Akaashi felt like there was nothing left, he slowly moved, releasing Bokuto, but not without laying a kiss on his tip, causing him to flinch a bit from the stimulation. Akaashi moved to the top of the bed, licking and sucking his way up Bokuto’s stomach and chest before kissing him deeply, giving Bokuto a taste of himself. </p><p>“How was that?” Akaashi asked. </p><p>“Hot. Where did you learn to do that?”</p><p>“Nowhere. I guess I just put my mind to it. But I think my jaw is going to be a little sore later.” Bokuto wrapped his arm around Akaashi who tucked his head into the crook of Bokuto’s neck. Bokuto reached down and continued stroking until Akaashi came over the two of them. </p><p>“Let’s go take a shower and make some food. I’m starving now.” Akaashi nodded, moving from the bed and taking Bokuto’s hand. </p><p>“What are you making?” Akaashi asked toweling off the remaining damp pieces of his hair. He needed to get it cut but didn’t feel like making an appointment. </p><p>“You are getting some eggs and rice. I am eating some hard-boiled eggs with a bagel. Did we get any bananas from the store?” Bokuto asked, plating Akaashi’s food and placing it in front of him. Akaashi stopped his work on his hair, leaving the towel around his neck. </p><p>“No, I can go pick some up today. Is there anything else you need?”</p><p>“Those were the last of our eggs, so some more of those. Maybe some beer.” </p><p>“Didn’t I just get eggs? Okay, I’ll make a run today.” </p><p>Bokuto popped his eggs in his mouth quickly and ate his bagel much too fast. When Akaashi gave him a look, he replied that he was just really hungry and would make sure to pack a few protein bars in his gym bag for practice. </p><p>Bokuto moved around the island and took the towel from Akaashi’s neck. He began to work on the remaining damp pieces of Akaashi’s hair as he finished his breakfast. Akaashi leaned into the familiar sensation of Bokuto’s expert hands. “Ji, can I talk to you about something?”</p><p>“Of course. Is there something wrong?”</p><p>“I just want to be honest with you, since we’re working on our communication, you know?”</p><p>“Okay…” </p><p>“Can you promise me you’re not going to get mad?” </p><p>“I think that depends on what you’re about to tell me, Kou. Did you murder someone?”</p><p>“Keiji, please…” </p><p>Akaashi sighed and pushed his food forward. He turned toward Bokuto. “I will try my best.” </p><p>Bokuto held the towel in his hand, stopping his work on Akaashi’s hair and looking down at his feet. Akaashi could feel his heart begging to beat quicker, a bit of fear building in the pit of his stomach. </p><p>“This might not be the best time to tell you this considering what happened last night. But I don’t want to keep this from you. I don’t really know how to say it, though.”</p><p>“Kou, what’s wrong?” Akaashi asked, his voice soft.</p><p>“Well… um,” Bokuto started. “I like… um… I have a crush on Y/N.” </p><p>“Oh.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Wow, 2k reads and 100 kudos! Thanks so much for the support on this piece, I really appreciate the comments and interactions I see from folks. It really does make my day when someone lets me know they look forward to a new chapter or when they like a piece of character development. Please continue to reach out if you have any comments or feedback!</p><p>Writer's notes: I wanted to give a warning a week in advance, there will be more angst as we need to close the story with Talia (oh nooooo.... ) so be prepared.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Big Little Moments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Because I want you to sleep with me. In my bed. Snuggle with me. That’s what I was looking forward to as I watched you touch her all night. That’s what I was thinking about when you touched her leg. You were going to come back with me, your boyfriend, and spend the rest of the night with me. And now, she’s here. I want you to come to bed with me…”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So, I lied. But it was a good lie. This chapter will center mostly around Bokuto and his point of view during the most recent events. Most of the story has been Akaashi centered and this will review some of the events from the last few chapters and how they affected him. </p>
<p>The moments are very scattered and fragmented, like a memory - just a warning. </p>
<p>TW for next week: Talia. Just wanted to provide some preparation.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akaashi placed his hands on his desk in an attempt to steady himself, his breathing picked up and his body began to feel warm - he could feel a tightness in his stomach building. He bit his lip and tried to focus on the computer screen in front of him as his professor tended to leave all the grading to him, but it was useless. He glanced up at the door to the office every few seconds, checking for the hundredth (thousandth) time that he locked it and that no student would barge in or a fellow TA would have to unlock it first and give him some time to compose himself. </p>
<p>“Ah… fuck,” he whispered, a chill of pleasure running up his back. He readjusted his position in his seat and looked down under the desk. Bokuto looked back up at him, golden eyes peering through his light eyelashes, a feigned expression of innocence painting his face. Bokuto’s hand wrapped around Akaashi’s member, moving up and down in sync with his head bobbing. He slowly, teasingly, removed Akaashi’s cock from his mouth and licked his lips. </p>
<p>“Am I distracting you?” he asked coyly. </p>
<p>“Just a little,” Akaashi murmured. </p>
<p>Bokuto continued to stroke up and down languidly, “Hm. Do you want me to stop, then?”</p>
<p>“No.” Bokuto smiled and took Akaashi in his mouth again, hollowing out his cheeks and letting his tongue drag along the length, feeling the vein on the underside of Akaashi’s cock. Akaashi bit his lip hard to stifle his moans and avoid being detected by any passersby. He knew he was close, he just needed a little more. </p>
<p>He placed his hand on the top of Bokuto’s head and gently pushed him down until he could feel the back of Bokuto’s throat making contact with his tip. Bokuto pulled Akaashi out and took a deep breath. </p>
<p>“Pull your pants down more,” he instructed. </p>
<p>“Other people have to sit in this chair, Kou.”</p>
<p>“Not all the way, just more. Here,” Bokuto pulled along Akaashi’s pants, propping his balls on top of the zipper and exposing them to the cooler air. He went down on Akaashi again, letting one hand massage his balls and leaving the other to rest on his abs. </p>
<p>“Shit, I’m going to come.” Bokuto let out some sort of acknowledgment, unintelligible with his mouth full, and pressed down further. Akaashi’s hips moved on their own, meeting Bokuto’s mouth as he placed his hand back on his head. “Fuck.” </p>
<p>Akaashi put his hand up to his mouth and bit down on the skin to stifle the deep groan escaping his lips, he felt the shudder in his body as he came inside Bokuto’s mouth. He felt Bokuto’s tongue move up and down more as his hips continued to push forward. When he finished, Bokuto pulled away, letting his tongue drag over the shaft and leaving a small peck on the tip before moving up to the rest of his body. He licked his lips and smiled up at Akaashi.</p>
<p>Bokuto placed kisses on any part of exposed skin, starting with Akaashi’s pubic bone and working up his abs to the middle of his stomach. Once his shirt interfered, Bokuto moved to hover above Akaashi and kiss along his neck and jaw. </p>
<p>He glanced over to the computer screen, “And I still got fifteen minutes before practice starts. What should we do with that time?” Bokuto leaned in and kissed Akaashi deeply. </p>
<p>“You should head over to the gym and begin stretching and I should grade these papers,” Akaashi replied as they separated. </p>
<p>“You’re no fun.” Bokuto stood and sat on the desk, looking down as Akaashi tucked his shirt back into his pants and readjusted himself. </p>
<p>“No fun, huh? You just blew me in a public office used by several other TAs and where other students will come for assistance with their classes. I could get fired if someone found out, you know. And I need to finish with this grading or else Yamamoto is going to be on my ass. How do I look?” </p>
<p>“Does she always stick you with the heavy lifting? Why do professors get paid so much if they don’t do shit and then make their TAs do all the work? You look fine.”</p>
<p>“Just <em> fine </em>?” Akaashi teased, raising an eyebrow. </p>
<p>Bokuto stood from the desk, Akaashi rose to meet him. He pulled Akaashi close, wrapping his arms around his waist and kissing him before whispering, “You look gorgeous. You always do.” Akaashi scoffed quietly and kissed Bokuto again. </p>
<p>“You only have ten minutes now.” Bokuto pulled away slowly, grabbing his gym bag from the floor. “About tonight,” Akaashi began, “I would really like it if you came. I know you’re not convinced, but it would make me feel better if you met her.”</p>
<p>“Why?” Bokuto had moved closer to the door but turned back to look at Akaashi. He could tell that the other man was slightly uncomfortable and was most likely thinking about his last relationship with a woman. </p>
<p>“You’re a good judge of character, Kou. I think if you meet her, or at least see the two of us interact a little, you would be able to tell if she’s genuine or not. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, but it would mean a lot to me if you were there.” </p>
<p>Bokuto sighed. He knew Akaashi was only telling a half-truth, but he didn’t want to push him too hard. This was the first time he seemed interested in a woman since…her. He had shown interest in a few men since he and Bokuto got back together a few months ago, and had dated a little during their break, but those didn’t lead anywhere - he didn’t even bother to tell them he preferred open relationships because they only seemed to last a few dates. If Akaashi wanted Bokuto to be there for support, he could do that. </p>
<p>“Sure, I’ll go. But I’ll keep my distance, I don’t want her to think you brought your <em> roommate </em> along and that you’re not actually interested in her.” </p>
<p>Akaashi nodded, “Thank you.” Bokuto nodded, turned, and opened the door to leave, but felt a fist land on his chest. He looked down to see a young woman with her fist pressed against him as if she were about to knock on the door before he opened it. She smelled good, but he couldn’t put his finger on the exact fragrance. </p>
<p>Bokuto smiled wide, realizing the woman in front of him was Akaassi’s date - what was her name again? - coming to see him, of course she was. Based on what little Akaashi had mentioned about her, Bokuto figured she liked Akaashi at least a little bit. She looked up at him, her face horrified as she figured out her fist was still on Bokuto’s chest. </p>
<p>“Hello, there,” Bokuto said, his smile too wide, it was beginning to hurt his face. Akaashi moved closer to the door to see who Bokuto was talking to. It wasn’t often that he had students come to his office hours on a Friday afternoon. It made it easier for him and Bokuto to use the space for other purposes. </p>
<p>She pulled her hand away quickly. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to disrupt. I had set up a meeting with Akaashi-san during class to review my essay and when I heard voices I…” Bokuto noticed her eyes as she tried to look around him, most likely trying to find Akaashi. </p>
<p>“It’s okay, no worries!” Bokuto placed a hand on her shoulder and scooted her into the office. Akaashi took a small step back as she almost stumbled into him. He hoped she wouldn’t be able to tell what he and Bokuto had been up to. “Boy, you <em>are </em>cute. I’ll see you later, ‘Kashi!” Bokuto said before taking his leave. </p>
<p>Akaashi watched Bokuto walk down the hall, his long strides making his hair bounce a little, he liked the firmness of his back in his too-tight shirt and the way his sweatpants clung to his thighs. He also noticed, Y/N looking after Bokuto as well. “Come on in,” Akaashi said and gestured to the chair by the desk. He took his seat on the other side of the desk and waited for Y/N to sit. When she didn’t he elaborated, “Your essay?” </p>
<p>“Oh right.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Bokuto knocked on the door to Akaashi’s bedroom and waited for permission to enter. They had been back together for about six months or so, but Bokuto tried to give Akaashi as much space as he could and never liked to push him to talk about anything that happened in the past or during their break. They had talked about a fraction of their breakup, but they never really addressed the root cause. He had learned a little about some hookups Akaashi had because he had asked Bokuto about getting STD tests when they were back together. </p>
<p>Bokuto had only made out with a few guys, but he managed to have a drunken night - and then two other hookups - with his former high school volleyball manager. He’d never been interested in women, but spending time with her, coupled with the alcohol, the two ended up in a heated make-out session, leading to the shedding of clothing and the eventual sex. Bokuto felt shy when he let Yukie know that she was the first woman he had had sex with. Horrified, she demanded a “do-over” since the two were not in the best frame of mind. The third time came from mutual boredom. </p>
<p>“Come in,” Akaashi called from inside his room. Bokuto walked in and took in Akaashi’s form - he looked stunning in his all-black outfit, jeans and a button-up shirt, his hair in messy tendrils framing his face just right, and contacts instead of his normal thick-framed glasses, allowing for his eyes to be on full display. “Does this look alright?” he asked Bokuto. </p>
<p>Bokuto walked up to him and kissed his cheek. “You look great. I have one suggestion, though.” Bokuto unbuttoned Akaashi’s sleeve and began to roll it up to just under his elbow and then repeated the process on the other arm. “Show off a little, Ji.” </p>
<p>“You’re okay with this, right?”</p>
<p>“Sure. I haven’t been out dancing in a while, it’ll be like some extra cardio or something. I gotta keep limber.”</p>
<p>“That’s not what I meant…” Akaashi replied quietly. </p>
<p>“I know. You look nervous, are you sure <em> you’re </em>ready for this?” </p>
<p>“No.” Bokuto looked at Akaashi. His eyes looked a little dull and he started to fidget with his fingers. Bokuto took hold of one of his hands and brought it to his lips. </p>
<p>“You’re going to do great,” he said, placing a kiss on the back of Akaashi’s knuckles. “She already likes you, I can tell.”</p>
<p>“You met her for maybe ten seconds, how could you possibly tell if she likes me?” Akaashi laughed. </p>
<p>“Remember when you said I was a great judge of character? I judged her character in those ten seconds. She also has a firm knock, a great quality to have. Ready?” Akaashi nodded. </p>
<p>The car ride to the bar was quiet, Bokuto held Akaashi’s hand throughout the trip, rubbing the back with his thumb. Akaashi kept his eyes forward as if he were concentrating hard on something.  </p>
<p>After they parked, they walked to the bar together. “I’ll wait outside for Y/N if you want to head in,” Akaashi said. He still looked a bit nervous as he fiddled with the fabric of his jeans, pinching it between his fingers. Bokuto did a quick scan of their surroundings before placing his hand on the side of Akaashi’s face and pulling him in for a quick kiss. “Kou-”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, no one is around, no one saw us. You’re going to be fine. Try to have fun and not overthink too much. Let me know if you need me to swoop in and save you. I can make up a story about your brother getting into a car accident and how you have to rush to the hospital.”</p>
<p>“I don’t have a brother.”</p>
<p>“That’s why it’s a made-up story. Go on, I’ll see you inside.” Akaashi nodded and took his place outside of the bar, waiting for his date to arrive. Bokuto waited in line until he made his way into the already packed bar. He looked around, trying to gauge the best place to hang out for the night where he might be able to get a good view of Akaashi and his date. He wanted to be able to watch Akaashi’s body language throughout the night. Although Akaashi was good at putting on a brave face, Bokuto could tell by his mannerisms if he was uncomfortable - the pulling of his fingers under the table, tapping his foot because he thought it was less noticeable than bouncing his whole leg, it wasn’t. </p>
<p>“Hey there,” Bokuto turned to see a young woman standing near him. She was pretty in a conventional way, she most likely tried to keep up with the latest trends and mimic western celebrities. </p>
<p>“Hi,” Bokuto responded. </p>
<p>“Are you with anyone? I’d love to buy you a drink,” she said, tucking a long piece of hair behind her ear. </p>
<p>“No thank you, I don’t drink.” She scowled for a moment before readjusting her face back to strained confidence. She placed a hand on Bokuto’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“That’s okay, would you like to dance? Or are you waiting for your girlfriend or something?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m not waiting for a girlfriend,” Bokuto laughed. “Sure, we can dance. Let me know if you need help keeping up.” They moved to the dance floor and immediately, the woman began to grind hard on Bokuto as if she were trying to synthesize with him and become one person. </p>
<p>He always thought it was funny, the way certain people would dance with him. He tended to be much larger than many of the women, but he kind of liked it when they would try to assert some sort of dominance in an attempt to... seduce him? He preferred going to the clubs where he could dance with other men without worrying about people giving him funny looks. The men were usually closer to his size - well, sometimes - and he felt more comfortable reciprocating their moves. What he liked most of all, was looking over to a corner or table and seeing Akaashi watch him interact with these people. </p>
<p>Bokuto would make eye contact with Akaashi who preferred to sit out but would maintain a view of Bokuto. It wasn’t a trust or jealousy issue, at least Bokuto didn’t think it was, but it was more about Akaashi seeing Bokuto having a good time, but knowing that he would come home to him, kiss him on the walk home, end up in his bed that night. </p>
<p>After a few songs, Bokuto noticed Akaashi out of the corner of his eye. He looked over in the direction where he was sitting with his date and noticed his hand on her thigh. Simultaneous feelings of jealousy and joy ran through him for a split second. </p>
<p><em> He likes her</em>, Bokuto thought. He knew there was no room in their relationship for him to be jealous, but as he saw Akaashi look genuinely happy in conversation, he couldn’t help feeling a bit upset. He shook his head knowing that this was what made Akaashi happy. And if Akaashi was happy, so was he. He glanced up and locked eyes with Bokuto for just a moment, and gave him a small smile and a barely noticeable nod, as if to say, “Don’t worry, I’m still yours.” </p>
<p><em> It’s fine. He’ll be with me tonight, in my arms, in my bed</em>. </p>
<p>Bokuto refocused on what he was doing and noticed that the young woman must have slipped away at some point - perhaps she was too tired from his stamina. It wasn’t difficult to find a new partner to dance with, and he continued for the next hour or so until he noticed Akaashi stand and leave the table, his date sitting alone. </p>
<p>Bokuto’s current dance partner was beginning to slow down and moving away from him. He thought this could be a good opportunity to get to know Akaashi’s date a little better. “Thank you for the dance, have a good night,” Bokuto nodded to the woman next to him. She walked away quickly, leaving Bokuto to move to the rhythm of the music alone for a bit. </p>
<p>He looked around, pretending to scout for a new partner before turning his attention back to the table. Bokuto locked eyes with Akaashi’s date and smiled. She looked a little nervous, but he walked over to the table and claimed Akaashi’s empty seat. </p>
<p>“Hey there! Wanna dance?” he asked. </p>
<p>“I’m with someone, he just went to get us drinks. He should be back soon, though.” </p>
<p><em> Polite, respectful. Good</em>, Bokuto thought. </p>
<p>“Ah, come on. ‘Kashi won’t mind. Just one dance.”</p>
<p>“How did you know-” she began, but Bokuto grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor before she could finish her question. He scanned the room for Akaashi, but could not see him over the crowd of people. He spun her to face him and began to move to the rhythm of the music, a sultry beat. She seemed a little hesitant at first, but placed her hand on his shoulder and moved with him, a small blush on her face. </p>
<p>Bokuto spun her away from him, placing both hands on her hips, his chest against her back. He felt a small tremor work its way through his body as she ran her fingers through his hair, her nails lightly grazing his scalp along the way. Bokuto looked down at her and flashed a wide smile. </p>
<p>He looked back out toward the tables and noticed that Akaashi had returned to his seat and was drinking from a pint glass. His eyes were focused on the pair, but Bokuto couldn’t tell who he was looking at, he seemed fascinated by this new development. Bokuto could smell her perfume again with how close she was but was still unable to pinpoint the specific scent. He thought it was familiar in some way. </p>
<p>When the song ended, Bokuto moved back to the table, pulling the girl behind him through the crowd. “Thanks for lending me your date, ‘Kashi. She’s a great dancer,” Bokuto said. He noticed how Akaashi’s eyes stayed on his date as she returned. </p>
<p>“It would appear so,” Akaashi said, taking her hand. She moved to sit in the empty chair, but he guided her onto his lap. “It looks like you two had a lot of fun out there.” Bokuto’s breath hitched slightly, he had never seen Akaashi act so brazen. </p>
<p>“Yeah, we’ll have to do it again sometime. I’ll see you guys later,” Bokuto said and quickly walked back to the dance floor in pursuit of a new dance partner. </p>
<p><em> I can’t be jealous. I can’t be jealous… </em> he repeated to himself. But when he looked back at the table once more, he regretted it. Akaashi and his date were locked together at the lips, her hand in his black curls, and they did not appear to be stopping any time soon. Bokuto moved further back onto the dance floor and out of their view, finding a dance partner quickly.</p>
<p>About forty-five minutes later, Bokuto received a text from Akaashi letting him know they were ready to leave. He waited about five more minutes before responding. As he walked to the car, he wondered what about this girl was so amazing that Akaashi would be all over her on the first date. He was usually so reserved and not forthcoming with his emotions, but he didn’t seem to act that way with her. The only other person he opened up to like that was Bokuto. </p>
<p>He reached the car and sat inside, pressing his head against the steering wheel. “Fuck!” he yelled to the empty space, slamming his fist on the steering wheel. He pulled out his phone and dialed the only person he could think of. </p>
<p>“Bo? What’s wrong?” Kuroo asked on the other end of the line. </p>
<p>“Why do you think something is wrong? Maybe I just called to say hi.”</p>
<p>“You never call just to say hi. You give me updates about your team, you call to make dinner plans when I’m in town, and you reach out when something is wrong and you’re upset. It’s a Friday night so I don’t think this would be the time you pick to strategize about cross-shots. I’m not coming to town for a while. So that leaves the third option. What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Bokuto took a breath, “Ji is on a date...”</p>
<p>“Okay?” Kuroo responded, his voice prompting for more information. </p>
<p>“...with a woman… and I’m here with him.”</p>
<p>“Why are you with him on his date? Isn’t that a little weird?”</p>
<p>“She doesn’t know anything yet, about me. Us. I don’t even know if he told her my name or that we live together. I can’t even remember her name. Ji asked me to come because he thinks I’m a good judge of character.”</p>
<p>“He asked you to help judge his date? Why?”</p>
<p>“Kuroo, you should have seen how nervous he was. I think he is still a bit scared after…”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Have you two talked about that yet?”</p>
<p>“No, not really. I wanted to help him, I want him to be happy. But I didn’t think it would be this hard to see him with someone else. The last person I saw him be intimate with besides me was you. And she’s so beautiful, Kuroo. And she smells good.”</p>
<p>“You smelled her?”</p>
<p>“We ran into each other at Akaashi’s office and I danced with her tonight.”</p>
<p>“Koutarou, listen to me. It’s okay to feel uneasy about this,” Kuroo began. He only used Bokuto’s given name when he was <em>very </em>serious or trying to be comforting. “But I want you to take care of yourself. You try so hard to make sure Akaashi is happy or comfortable, even if it means bending over backward to please him. He cares about you, he loves you. Tell him how you feel. He’s not going to up and leave because you’re being honest with him.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll say something.”</p>
<p>“Okay. What do you need from me?” Kuroo asked. </p>
<p>“I don’t know. Let me know when you’re coming into town next and we can get dinner.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like a deal. Goodnight, Bo.”</p>
<p>Bokuto started the car and made his way back to the bar, he wasn’t sure how long Akaashi and his date would have been waiting, but he didn’t want to leave them in the cold. When he pulled up to the curb, Akaashi was hanging over her. </p>
<p>“Hey hey hey, you guys. Sorry that took so long, I forgot which street I parked on,” Bokuto said, getting out of the car. He noticed Akaashi’s raised eyebrow and chose to ignore it. </p>
<p>Akaashi ushered his date into the back seat of the car and walked to the other side. “You were gone for a while, I was getting worried,” Akaashi said. </p>
<p>“Sorry about that. Where am I dropping her off?” </p>
<p>“Y/N is going to spend the night. Her roommate’s boyfriend is staying at her place and apparently, he is annoying.” </p>
<p>“Are you serious, Ji? This is your first date, how well do you even know her?” Bokuto asked, growing annoyed. </p>
<p>“We’re not going to do anything, I promise.” Akaashi placed his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Bokuto held onto Akaashi’s hip, wanting to pull him a little closer, but Akaashi resisted. </p>
<p>“Does she know about us?” he whispered. </p>
<p>“Not yet.” Bokuto took a step away and entered the driver’s side door of the car. Akaashi moved to the back with Y/N. Bokuto tried to ignore the sounds of kisses being exchanged and the whispers, but he couldn’t. He looked back in the mirror and locked eyes with Y/N for just a moment too long.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Is she asleep?” Bokuto asked when he heard Akaashi’s footsteps. He stood in the kitchen, a kettle on the stove. </p>
<p>“Yeah, she passed out pretty much as soon as her head hit the pillow. Kou, are you-”</p>
<p>“Do you want some tea?” Bokuto interjected. </p>
<p>“Sure.” Akaashi walked around to the other side of the island and stood behind Bokuto, intently focused on the kettle. He placed his hands on Bokuto’s hips and kissed the back of his neck. </p>
<p>“I hope you brushed your teeth. Her tongue was practically down your throat the entire night.” </p>
<p>Akaashi took a step back, releasing Bokuto, “Do you not want me to start dating someone again? You seemed very encouraging earlier, but now… Now you’re upset with me?”</p>
<p>“You didn’t have to bring her back here.”</p>
<p>“What difference does it make? She’s asleep. I’m not going to wake her up in the middle of the night and ask her if she wants to fuck after one date. You’ve always been okay with me seeing other people, it doesn’t matter that she’s sleeping here. It’s just sleep.”</p>
<p>“Because I want <em>you </em>to sleep with <em>me</em>. In <em>my </em>bed. Snuggle with <em>me</em>. That’s what I was looking forward to as I watched you touch her all night. That’s what I was thinking about when you kept your hand on her leg. You were going to come back with me, your boyfriend, and spend the rest of the night with me. And now, she’s here… I want you to come to bed with me…” Bokuto trailed off. </p>
<p>“You’re upset because we can’t have sex? It’s one night.”</p>
<p>“Fucking hell, that’s what you heard from that?! It’s not about the sex, Keiji.” The kettle began to whistle. Bokuto grabbed it quickly and poured the hot water into two mugs, adding tea bags to both. “Honey?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Yeah…” </p>
<p>“Here,” Bokuto handed the mug to Akaashi and walked toward his room. He felt a hand grab his wrist, Akaashi turning him back to look at him. “What?”</p>
<p>“I’m coming to bed with you,” Akaashi replied, his voice small. </p>
<p>“What about her?”</p>
<p>“I’ll have to go back into my room tonight or else she’ll be confused, but I want to be with you for a bit if that’s okay with you.”</p>
<p>“You could just tell her,” Bokuto deadpanned. </p>
<p>“I’m not ready. I’m sorry. I think that… um… because of…”</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s go.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>Bokuto exited the shower, whistling to himself as he wrapped the towel around his waist. He felt slightly better last night after Akaashi went to bed with him - it was the quietest sex they had ever had. But he couldn’t help the twinge of pain he felt when he woke up to an empty bed knowing that Akaashi would be cuddled up next to her. </p>
<p>He opened the bathroom door and noticed the young woman in front of him, his whistling dying down with an elongated trill. “Uh… good morning,” he said. He placed his hand on the waist of the towel, knowing it was a little too small for him and not wanting to expose himself to a perfect stranger. </p>
<p>“Sorry, I just needed to use the bathroom. Was that you singing?” she asked, her voice a little heavy with sleep. Bokuto couldn’t help but think that, despite just waking up, she looked cute with her hair a little messy and wearing Akaashi’s sweats that were too long on her.</p>
<p>“Mhm,” he smiled a little and scooted around her. “Hope I didn’t wake you up. The bathroom’s all yours.” Bokuto walked quickly to his room to avoid any kind of conversation with… what was her name again? Akaashi was trying to date this girl, he couldn’t think about how cute she was. And they could not hang out in the hallway together with him basically naked, sheathed in only a thin layer of cotton. </p>
<p>He finished changing and headed back to the kitchen for some breakfast. When he walked out of his room, he noticed her looking at some photos on the wall. “Snooping around?” he joked, walking up to her. She jumped a little, not hearing his approach and he felt a little bad at scaring her. </p>
<p>“Uh, no… I just,” she stammered. </p>
<p>“I’m just kidding,” Bokuto laughed. He moved next to her to see what photo she had been staring at and then smiled seeing the memory play out in his mind. “Ah, that was at one of our tournaments in high school. I was working really hard to perfect my line shots and something just finally clicked.” He reached out and touched the picture. He remembered everything from that moment as if it had happened just minutes ago. It was before he and Akaashi started dating, but he wanted to do nothing more than to spin him around and kiss him in front of all the spectators.“It wouldn’t have been possible without Akaashi’s help.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t know that Akaashi played sports at all.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, Akaashi’s tosses are the best! But don’t tell that to my current setter. He would probably cry.” Bokuto thought about the times they stayed late after practice, working on perfecting spikes and serves. He especially enjoyed his senior year when a good spike would be rewarded with a kiss. Some nights, they would sit in the clubroom holding each other close and kissing long after practice was over. They never did anything more, not wanting to get caught in a compromising position. </p>
<p>Bokuto would fondly recall those first few months of dating, the excitement of something new, but strangely familiar. He loved sitting with his legs outstretched over Akaashi’s long limbs, the soft tickling of leg hairs from one another, the slight pain from the contact of their bruises. The way Akaashi would glide his beautiful fingers up and down Bokuto’s thigh before letting his hand rest on his knee.</p>
<p>“You two must be really good friends, huh?” she asked pulling him back to reality. “I mean, for you both to attend the other’s graduation and now to be living together, you must be best friends.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you could say that!” He almost laughed but held back. “Hey, are you hungry? I’m about to make some eggs and rice.”</p>
<p>“I could eat.” </p>
<p>Bokuto talked with Y/N while cooking. She wasn’t as bad as he thought, he was probably just jealous at seeing her interact with Akaashi. When she was listening to him intently, she would hold her chin in her hand and nibble on her nail. Bokuto thought it was kind of cute, but tried to ignore the notion. </p>
<p>“...and then, Akaashi used a feint out of nowhere and pulled us back ahead. No one was expecting it, not even us! It was so cool!”</p>
<p>“That sounds really impressive. Do you know why he didn’t continue with volleyball? If he’s as good as you say he is, why isn’t he playing with you now?”</p>
<p>“Akaashi has always been focused on his grades - coffee?” he paused his story to offer her a cup. She shook her head and he continued, “so after high school, he just focused on school. His parents also have some pretty high expectations for him. But man, if he ever decided to come back to volleyball, we would dominate!”</p>
<p>“Why are you so loud?” Both Bokuto and Y/N turned to see Akaashi walking from his bedroom, sleep still present in his eyes and face, his hair sticking in various directions. Bokuto took a small step forward, used to giving Akaashi a morning kiss, but stopped himself. Akaashi moved to the cabinets, looking for his coffee mug.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I guess I just got excited talking about high school. Your mug is on the left,” said Bokuto, placing a plate in front of Y/N. “You want me to make another plate?” Bokuto asked. Akaashi waved his hand and made a face, before taking a spot next to Y/N at the counter. </p>
<p>“Bokuto-san told me you were an excellent volleyball player in high school. I wish I could have seen that.” </p>
<p>“Hm,” Akaashi let out a hum of agreement and sipped on his coffee. </p>
<p>“He’s not a morning person, give him, like, ten minutes or so. Then he’ll be ready to have an intelligent conversation with you,” Bokuto laughed. They continued with their conversation, Akaashi contributing little but grunts every so often. The presence of his hand on Y/N’s thigh didn’t escape Bokuto’s attention. </p>
<p>“You can borrow the sweats for now. I was able to put your clothes in the dryer last night before going to bed, but I didn’t think you would want to put on a dress just to head home,” Akaashi said standing from his stool. “I can drive you back to your place in a bit.” </p>
<p>“That sounds good. I have to work on my essay a bit more before submitting it.” </p>
<p>Bokuto grabbed the empty plate and Akaashi’s mug and began to clean the kitchen from breakfast. He turned back to see Akaashi place a kiss on Y/N’s lips, his hand on her back. She looked at him, and he quickly averted his gaze.</p>
<p>“Ready?” Akaashi asked.</p>
<p>“Ready.” </p>
<p>When Akaashi returned, Bokuto had planned to try to talk to him once more. He went through his speech several times before Akaashi walked through the door. He wanted to tell him that he was a little jealous and that he wanted to support Akaashi, but seeing that level of affection in front of him was hard. </p>
<p>When he got home, all Bokuto could remember was the fact that Akaashi invited a woman over after one date and she slept in his bed. They argued, his feelings were hurt. Akaashi’s feelings were hurt. They may have taken steps forward or backward, he wasn’t sure. They ended calmly, but he still felt nauseous by the end. </p>
<p>“Are we okay?” Bokuto whispered, his arms tight around Akaashi. He could smell Y/N on his body still.  </p>
<p>Akaashi paused before answering, “I think we will be.” He nuzzled his face into the crook of Bokuto’s neck and took a deep breath. </p>
<p>“Can I ask one thing?” Bokuto questioned, the side of his face pressed into Akaashi’s hair. </p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>“This is going to sound possessive, I know it is, I’m sorry. But… please don’t sleep with her until she knows everything.” </p>
<p>“Yes.” The rest of the day was spent in Bokuto’s bed, naked, tangled, connected. </p>
<p>“What are you doing out in the living room by yourself?” Bokuto had asked Y/N one day after returning home from practice. She had been seeing Akaashi for almost a month and frequented their apartment after her classes or Akaashi’s office hours. Akaashi did better with the PDA in front of Bokuto, but he still felt a little jealous at times knowing that Akaashi had not told Y/N the truth about their relationship. Bokuto finally learned her name and remembered it. </p>
<p>“Akaashi is grading our mid-term essays so it feels weird to be in there with him. I wouldn’t want him to give me preferential treatment or anything.” </p>
<p>“Like he doesn’t already,” Bokuto joked. She scowled at him briefly before returning to her reading.  </p>
<p>He noticed Y/N rubbing her hands together now and then. It wasn’t too cold out, but the landlord controlled the temperature in the building and must have not switched the AC off yet. He walked into his bedroom and grabbed a sweatshirt. “Here,” he said tossing it to her. “You look cold.”</p>
<p>She nodded and slipped it over her head, the bottom coming to below her knees. Bokuto forgot how large he was in comparison to others. When Akaashi would wear his old jerseys or sweatshirts, they were big on him, but he was tall, so they just looked a little oversized. But seeing how Y/N was practically swimming in his sweatshirt, he thought it looked good. </p>
<p><em> She’s cute</em>.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“I want you to fuck me, please.” Bokuto heard the sounds of moans, labored breathing, and the familiar squeaking of a bedframe coming from Akaashi’s room. His heart sank. He felt nauseous. Angry. Sad. Sick. Bokuto had only ever asked for one condition during the entirety of their relationship. And Akaashi just broke it. </p>
<p>Did he even care anymore? Did he want to be in this relationship? He had mentioned that it might have been too early to get back together, maybe this was his way of ending things. He was never direct with his emotions, to begin with. </p>
<p>Bokuto walked to the bathroom, he needed something cold. A shower, anything. It didn’t matter. He could still hear the moans and panting coming from Akaashi’s room, the lump in his throat grew. </p>
<p>He made it into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and stepped in immediately, not bothering with the temperature, the cold stinging his skin. He stood under the stream and let the freezing water cascade down his body. He leaned his head against the wall and looked down at the drain. </p>
<p>And then it happened. He felt the warm tears billow up and begin to fall down his cheeks, mixing in with the freezing water. His body shook with sobs and the cold. He sat down, the water pouring directly onto his head, and hugged his knees to his chest. </p>
<p>
  <em> I hate him.  </em>
</p>
<p>He exited the shower and got dressed. The shower had blocked out the sounds from earlier, but after turning off the shower, he could hear they were still going at it. </p>
<p>“Keiji!” He heard Y/N call out Akaashi’s given name. The name he used. The name he called out in climax. The name that always followed an ‘I love you.’ The name he whispered in the middle of the night when he looked onto his sleeping partner, peaceful in his dreams, curls falling over his face. </p>
<p>He walked to his room as quickly as he could, trying to block out all other noises. He waited for what seemed like a while. He stared up at his ceiling and wondered if he made the right decision asking Akaashi to move in with him. Maybe it <em>was </em>too soon. Maybe they tried too quickly. Maybe they needed space from one another. But Akaashi also needed him at that time. He didn’t regret helping a friend then, but he didn’t know how to feel about his loved one now. </p>
<p>Unable to sleep, Bokuto made his way to the kitchen and put a kettle on the stove. Maybe he would be able to fall asleep after some chamomile tea, that’s what Akaashi usually made him when he was restless at night. As he turned toward the island to pour the boiling water into his mug, he locked eyes with Y/N. She had been so quiet, he hadn’t heard her movements. </p>
<p>Her face was a little pink and there was evidence of bite marks and bruises beginning to form on some parts of her neck. Even in a slightly disheveled form, Bokuto couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. He returned his gaze to his tea and she walked away. As soon as he finished his preparations, he moved quickly to his room to avoid any further interactions. </p>
<p>Maybe thirty minutes passed before he heard a knock on his door. He turned as Akaashi entered the room, his face sullen, guilty. He stood by the doorframe, closing it quietly and keeping his distance. Bokuto remained in his spot at his desk, waiting for Akaashi to say something. </p>
<p>After a few minutes of silence, he finally spoke. “Kou… I-” </p>
<p>“Was it fun?” Akaashi looked at him, his expression empty, withdrawn. “Did you have a good time? Was it everything you hoped for?”</p>
<p>“I-”</p>
<p>“Was it worth it?”</p>
<p>“Kou, please,” Akaashi walked forward, his hand reaching out for Bokuto just to have him stand from the desk and move away. </p>
<p>“Don’t you fucking touch me. Not after what you just did.” Akaashi let his hand fall. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry…”</p>
<p>“Fuck you, get out.” </p>
<p>“Koutarou-”</p>
<p>“Get. Out.” Bokuto said through gritted teeth. Akaashi silently turned away and walked to the door. </p>
<p>He paused before leaving the room and said, “I am... sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I love you. I’m sorry.” And then he left. </p>
<p><em> I love you, too</em>. </p>
<p>In the morning, Bokuto hoped to avoid any type of conversation with Akaashi and Y/N and prayed they would still be in bed when he made his way to practice, but they were awake and too happy for his liking, they touched too much; it was as if nothing happened and Akaashi had no remorse. He left without breakfast and was mad about it later, even though Akaashi told him to eat something before leaving. </p>
<hr/>
<p>“You’re important, Bokuto. Your Akaashi’s <em>best friend</em>. You know him better than I ever will; think about all the information you were just able to give to me. Your opinion of me means... everything. If I were to ever come between you two, then I don’t think I would be able to stay with Akaashi. Even if that makes me sad or angry or… whatever. You matter, and I’m sorry if I did something that made you feel like you didn’t.”</p>
<p>He wasn’t quite sure when he happened, but Bokuto began to notice the butterflies in his chest when he would look at Y/N, or when she would talk to him, laugh at his jokes. There were times when she would sit in the living room to give Akaashi privacy while he graded papers. She would say that she didn’t want to influence him to give her a better grade. She and Bokuto would sometimes talk or sit in silence, both working on homework. He liked the way she tilted her head to the right when she read something particularly interesting or twirled a pierce of her hair and smiled. </p>
<p>“…I think I’m realizing that both you and Akaashi are a packaged deal. You’re always going to be by his side, no matter what, even if things don’t work out with him and me. So in the meantime, I want to make sure <em>our </em>relationship is something we work on too. Okay?”</p>
<p>What was their relationship? Friends? Confidants? Did he like her as more than that? She cared about him in some capacity. She thought she had upset him and came to apologize, but he couldn’t tell her that she was not the one he was upset with or the real reason why he was angry that morning. </p>
<p>He told her that he was in love with Akaashi and she didn’t even blink twice, no ounce of judgment on her face. After their argument, she was concerned with <em>his </em>feelings and making sure <em>he </em>was okay. Why would she do that?</p>
<p>“Bokuto, you don’t have to share anything you don’t want to with me. I think you’re so amazing just in that you’re willing to talk to me. I can tell that you tend to take care of others, I can see it in the way you interact with Akaashi, and even when you and I are around each other. Please make sure you take care of yourself, too.” </p>
<p>She saw him. </p>
<p>“You too.” He liked the feeling of their hands together. Hers were much smaller than his, soft and smooth, but seemed just right.</p>
<hr/>
<p>“Kou, what’s wrong?” Akaashi asked, his voice soft.</p>
<p>“Well… um,” Bokuto started. “I like… um… I have a crush on Y/N.” </p>
<p>“Oh.” </p>
<p>“Are you upset?”</p>
<p>“...No. I think she would be good for you.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Really.”</p>
<p>“My feelings for her have nothing to do with us, you know that, right?” Bokuto assured Akaashi.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” </p>
<p>“...And they have nothing to do with what’s happened in the past or recently.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“And you’re fine with this?” Bokuto felt a little confused. </p>
<p>“You should explore these feelings if you want. It wouldn’t be fair if I was the only person in this relationship who dated multiple people.”</p>
<hr/>
<p>After conversations with Y/N and Akaashi, Bokuto felt rejuvenated. He and Akaashi were in a better place, they still needed to work through some things and get closure on the past, but they were good for the moment. And then this new development with Y/N. Could he be with her, too? Would they all be together? </p>
<p>He knew that, above all, he loved Akaashi. Walking into their apartment and being able to kiss him in front of Y/N without any trepidation, he felt like he was on cloud nine. He walked into his bedroom, leaving Y/N and Akaashi to work through their stuff together. He was hopeful, maybe he was wrong to think that he and Akaashi had jumped the gun. He wondered what would happen with the three of them if anything. </p>
<p>He heard a knock on his door and removed his headphones. “Come in,” he answered from his bed. Akaashi walked through the door and pulled on Bokuto’s arm, urging him up. </p>
<p>“Come here.” </p>
<p>“What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“Just come here,” he replied, impassive. They walked out to the living room quickly, Y/N sitting on the couch, biting her nail. She looked nervous. “Sit down,” Akaashi instructed. Bokuto took a seat next to Y/N who seemed to be avoiding eye contact with him. He was confused at the sudden energy shift, he was unable to read Akaashi’s expression. </p>
<p>“What’s going on?” Bokuto asked. </p>
<p>Akaashi’s eyes were focused on Y/N, dormant of any expression. Was he upset? Did she tell Akaashi that he held her hand? Akaashi already knew Bokuto had feelings for her, was he upset that they had a conversation without him?</p>
<p>“Tell him.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for over 100 kudos and 2.3k reads!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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